Please clickÂ this link first.Â I’ll wait.
Welcome back.Â Well, I’m going to continue on with some more of my archived writings.Â I did want to mention that these posts are (mostly) in chronological order, so if you want to read any particular post that’s certainly fine with me, but if you want to read all of them, you’d be best to read them in order from the original post on December 8, 2009 and work your way forward from there.Â Entirely up to you of course!
January 18, 2009
Well, itâ€™s actually tomorrow already but I didnâ€™t want to let the day go by without taking some time to acknowledge our 170th Monthaversary!
Did some writing earlier, so let me go get itâ€¦
Well today Marcia and I celebrate our 170th Monthaversary as a coupleâ€¦ only 430 more to reach 600, and thatâ€™s just the beginning!Â To celebrate our Monthaversary weâ€™ve come to our favourite Starbucks, and while there may be two of them and they may be in different cities, I can still feel her here with me.Â When I brought my coffee to the table I almost sat in Marciaâ€™s lap by mistake!!Â Not that sheâ€™d mind, but it would make it hard to drink.Â We may be sitting opposite each other but our boots are touching.Â Marciaâ€™s reading while I write.
The news Iâ€™ve received from Marcia recently has brought me to realize how much Iâ€™ve retreated inside myself these past few months, but that ends here.Â Marcia walks in my soul and so Iâ€™m going to keep her with me, wherever I go!Â Even as two, weâ€™re One.Â I can literally feel her beside me, so Iâ€™ll be there with her at the same time, loving, watching, protecting, and maybe stirring up just a LITTLE bit of mischief.Â Hardly any, though â€“ itâ€™s so unlike me after all.
Yesterday and last night I was reading some of the CC writings and it came to me much more clearly that my life here is an expression of my beliefs.Â I can change that, but I can use it for my benefit.Â A lot of people seem to think that being for self is a bad thing, but really the best thing for me is the best thing for everyone else, and that applies to everyone.Â Since all probabilities exist I choose the one that brings me the most happiness.Â What else should I do with my life other than deny who and what I am?Â I will do that no longer.Â I embrace my beliefs and exercise with them the power to choose.Â Itâ€™s so simple, so easy, and Iâ€™m glad Iâ€™m finally able to accept that.Â When I valued myself only for my intellect, I had to make things difficult in order to justify my mindâ€™s existence.Â No more.Â I am valued because I am me.
Two sections from last nightâ€™s writings still stick with me: â€œDoes the experience make it REAL or is the experience an accurate reflection of an active belief?â€ and â€œIf all probabilities exist and if your beliefs and choices align you accordingly to various probabilities, then shall you not simply choose the probability you seek? Is this not right use of the rational mind? What other use would you put it to? Other than to dispute what you know, that is.â€ Looking at that as a tangible step really intrigues me.Â Itâ€™s a different way of looking at life, but itâ€™s more empowering.Â Iâ€™ve been dancing around these ideas for some time, but they wonâ€™t let me go or I wonâ€™t let them go, or both.Â Simpler to simply accept them and work with them!Â Also, todayâ€™s experience with Marcia helped me to look at the separations Iâ€™ve erected between this reality and â€˜otherâ€™ realities or planes of existence.Â I can walk in more than one at the same time, and itâ€™s not as complicated as I thought it might be.Â In the past Iâ€™ve mostly bounced around different probabilities when I was so tired I could hardly stay in this one, but maybe from a more awake state I can keep them all in order.Â And if things bleed through, oh well!Â People think Iâ€™m nuts anyway!
Okay, itâ€™s 3:43 and Iâ€™m off to bed.
P.S.Â Iâ€™ve encountered several Seth quotes that relate to this stuff.Â No surprise there.Â Iâ€™m going to add them in here:
â€œThe inner ego …always identifies with its source-identity as a beloved, individualized portion of the universe. It is aware of the universal love that is its heritage.
â€œIt is also aware of the infinite power and strength that composes the very fabric of its being. Through being made aware of these facts, the exterior ego can begin to feel a quicker sense of support and nourishment. The knowledge can let it relax, let go, so that it feels its life couched and safe, and know itself to be indeed a beloved child of the universe, both ancient and young at once, with an identity far beyond the annals of time.
â€œIt is of great value, then, that each person remember this universal affiliation. Such a reminder can often allow the inner self to send needed messages of strength and love through various levels, appearing as inspiration, dreams, or simply bursts of feeling. The inner ego draws intent and continuous support from the universal consciousness, and the more the exterior ego keeps that fact in mind, the greater its own sense of stability, safety and self-esteem.â€ ~ The Way Toward Health, March 19, 1984.
â€œ…The inner self knows its relationship with the soul. It is a portion of the self that acts, you might say, as a messenger between the soul and the present personality. You must also realize that while I use terms like soul or entity, inner self, and present personality, I do so only for the sake of convenience, for one is a part of the other; there is no point where one begins and another ends.â€ ~ Seth Speaks, Session 527.
â€œMany people ask, for example: â€˜What is the purpose of my life?â€™ Meaning: â€˜What am I meant to do?â€™ but the purpose of your life, and each life, is in its being. That being may include certain actions, but the acts themselves are only important in that they spring out of the essence of your life, which simply by being is bound to fulfill its purposes.â€ ~ Dreams, â€œEvolution,â€ and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 1, session 899.
â€œWhile it is true that the body is the living materialization of ideas, it is also true that these ideas form an active, responsive alive body. The body is not just a tool to be used. It is not just a vehicle for the spirit. It is the spirit in flesh.â€ ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 630.
January 19, 2009
Well, Monday has come and gone and I’m going to bed earlier than I did last night.Â However, I just wanted to add one quick note that I spent the day with Marcia again today and it’s been wonderful!Â I’m going to snuggle into her again tonight and have the day with her again tomorrow.Â I’ve also been playing with the idea of using my imagination as an actual tool, the basis from which to create my physical reality, and I like it a lot.Â I do have a vivid imagination, and so I get to enjoy my desires as I imagine them, however often I imagine them, and again when I experience them physically. Different perspectives of the same thing.
January 20, 2009
Came across an interesting Seth quote today that reminded me of the healing work Iâ€™ve been doingâ€¦
â€œOn a conscious level, and with your conscious reserves alone, you could not keep your body alive an hour. You would not know how to do it, for your life flows through you automatically and spontaneously. You take the details for granted â€“ the breathing, the inner mechanisms of nourishment and elimination, the circulation, and the maintenance of your psychological continuity. All of that is taken care of for you in what I have termed as Framework 2.
â€œIn that regard, certainly, everything works to your advantage. Indeed, often the more concerned you become with your body the less smoothly it functions. In the spontaneity of your bodyâ€™s operation there is obviously a fine sense of order.â€ ~ The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, session 815.
Relax, let go, and Be Spiritâ€¦ Hmmmâ€¦
Anyway, I have to get up in about six hours but I didnâ€™t want to go to bed without making a few notes for the day.Â Itâ€™s been a quiet day, but interesting nonetheless.Â Anyway, I was reading today, but tired, so I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I did there was a page of text in front of me.Â It wasnâ€™t a â€˜dreamâ€™, okay, time for a new vocabulary, because in a way it was, but I was still awake.Â I opened my eyes again to go back to the book I was reading but finally thought, â€˜what the hellâ€™ and closed them again.Â I could read the page quite clearly, although at the moment I have no conscious memory of what it said.Â After reading for a while the text changed and became pictograms of a sort, but I could still make out what was being said.Â I also know that somewhere in there I fell asleep, and so the shift to pictograms may have been from a change in state of consciousness.Â Iâ€™ve been to all sorts of places in my visions, but Iâ€™ve never had anything like that before.Â Intriguing!
Another interesting thing that happened today is that my image of the two cottonwoods was voted for the â€˜Leaderâ€™s Choice Awardâ€™ from the Platinum Photography group on Flickr.Â It was a welcome sight to see, but it also reminded me what is says in the CC writings:
It is the same paradox, this seeming impossible and yet totally illusory obstacle which makes the knowing of creation more definite and tangible on the one hand and more difficult to perceive in the â€œrealâ€ world on the other, the closer in proximity to it you become. For ask yourself what warning does the dawn give you before it arrives?
Creation IS, No Rational Basis, Absolute Freedom, Explanation and Understanding
For as we have said before, creation requires no precedent. Creation is. And so it is also that your rational mind will not impact the creation, once the creation is set. You cannot think away the sunrise. You cannot prevent it for one instant. This should be of some comfort to you.
This is also why we continue to say to you â€œAbsolute freedom has no rational basis.â€ For as you try to ascertain a rational basis for the rising of the sun, we tell you there is none. This way when you seek rational basis, you seek an explanation. And an explanation is not what you need to be seeking. Understanding on the other hand is worthy of your time. Understanding evolves through observation and experience. Itâ€™s simply a matter of redirecting your curiosity. In this way the unknown becomes known to you. But not in a manner which provides an explanation. More simply, in a manner that provides understanding and acceptance of what is. For example: we would like you to give us an explanation of creation. Do you find this amusing? (â€œI find this impossible.â€) Exactly. And yet you can observe this in operation all the time. This observation becomes linked to understanding and so you can forego the seeking of explanation. But you must cooperate with these tendencies. For if you struggle against them, seeing the creations and yet still seeking explanations, you will simply continue to circle the same small ground.â€
Good things happen without warning and without precedent.Â Â I like it!
And finally for tonight, when I was talking with Marcia this evening she asked me if anything had bopped me on the head because she had sent me an image of a sock fight.Â Iâ€™m not sure what time that was, but there were two things that happened.Â One was a small piece from a spruce tree that landed on my head, but the other one was early afternoon, when Pop came out of the laundry room carrying twelve pairs of my socks in his armsâ€¦Â At the time I had a sense of â€˜somethingâ€™ more than just laundry, but I couldnâ€™t place it exactly.
Okay, one more.Â Both the Seth quote above and the CC writings here remind me of how much my conscious mind is â€˜notâ€™ in control of things that happen in my life.Â There was a time not too many years ago when I would have found that threatening, but with where I am now, I find it intriguing instead.Â A part of it is because Iâ€™ve expanded my sense of self, a part of it is because Iâ€™m more willing to trust in myself and in Source, and a part of it simply a shift in understanding. Â All good, though.
P.S.Â Iâ€™ve spent both yesterday and today with Marcia, wherever I am and whatever Iâ€™m doing, and Iâ€™m quite enjoying it!Â More tonight, and tomorrow!!
January 21, 2009
Well, itâ€™s already 12:40 again, but I wanted to make aÂ quick note before tumbling off to bedâ€¦Â Letâ€™s seeâ€¦Â Oh yeah, something I forgot to mention last Sunday.Â I walked down to the IGA to get some milk and as I was walking back I saw a woman sitting at one of the tables outside of Starbucks having a cigarette and drinking her IGA coffee!Â I was going to ask to take her picture, but decided against it.
Okay, on with the showâ€¦
Something that came to me today was, â€œMy life is a celebration of my beliefs.â€Â Now that really intrigued me when it popped into my mind for two reasons.Â One is that itâ€™s in line with my focus right now of using my beliefs as a basis or structure for creating my physical reality, but also because for so many years my main interest in my beliefs was in finding those that were negative or limiting and removing them.Â My interaction with my beliefs therefore was primarily negative â€“ something to identify and release, but I have positive, expansive, uplifting beliefs too.Â And so I like the phraseology of that sentence.Â My life is a celebration of my beliefs.Â Fits in nicely with both of those observations!
Something else that came to me today as I was leaving the library is that the Lotto 6/49 for tonight was up to $33M, and while thatâ€™s grand, itâ€™s now up to $43M for Saturday.Â Anyway, what came to me was that when I was involved with the process of setting intentions, buying lottery tickets and losing every week, my focus was on purchasing the â€˜rightâ€™ ticket, buying â€˜thatâ€™ ticket, and then putting time and energy into making sure that the ticket I had was the one that would be drawn.Â In this reality, it wasnâ€™t, but today I thought that the process is backward, from a conscious creation perspective.Â From a conscious creation perspective I would decide to win the lottery, and send out a rocket of desire for that, as Abraham would say.Â I would then leave it up to those aspects of my Self who are responsible for reality creation, and Iâ€™d relax, let go, and Be Spirit.Â And at the right time, at the right place, Iâ€™d get an impulse to buy a lottery ticket, and it would be the â€˜rightâ€™ one.Â I wouldnâ€™t have to worry about it, just trust in the process.Â Hmmmâ€¦Â I found an Abraham quote about that:
â€œIf you have the ability to desire it, the Universe has the ability to deliver it. Youâ€™ve just got to line up with what you want, which meansâ€”be as happy as you can be as often as you can be there, and let everything else take care of itself.â€ ~ Abraham-Hicks
And the last note for tonight is that for the past three days and nights, Iâ€™ve been spending my time with Marcia.Â Not every second, but whenever I think of her I bring her here and/or I go there and we sit and read together, we walk together hand in hand, we talk, etc.Â Itâ€™s been wonderful, and itâ€™s had some unexpected results because Iâ€™ve felt connections with Marcia that go beyond the â€˜imaginedâ€™ and well into the tangible.Â Thatâ€™s not surprising, but it is intriguing to me because it adds another dimension to our relationship.Â Itâ€™s not something that has to stop once weâ€™re reunited, either.Â In fact, I think the more we do this the more weâ€™re going to open doors into other avenues of our psyches, our selves that we havenâ€™t previously accessed to any great degree.Â Two things come from that.Â One is that I remember getting instructions to do this sort of thing way back.Â We did make a start, but we didnâ€™t have much success and gave it up.Â Whatâ€™s different now is that I donâ€™t have a specific time or place for our encounters â€“ sometimes they surprise me â€“ and Iâ€™m not â€˜transmittingâ€™ anything specific.Â Itâ€™s just a natural event.Â The other is that for a long time I used to argue with myself about physical vs. non-physical experiences, explaining to my self in great detail that while non-physical imaginings of things was all well and good, it didnâ€™t really mean anything until I experienced it in the physical.Â A part of that was because I had so clearly separated the physical and non-physical aspects of my life, but the other part was that since I was convinced that some other aspect of my self was responsible for creating my reality, then I had to suggest, beg, plead, cajole, using any available means, to get my self to recognize what it was â€˜Iâ€™ wanted.Â And when something unexpected came up, even something positive, too often I felt that what I had received was a substitution to what I desired and that meant that what I really wanted was not going to come.Â These experiences with Marcia however are not a substitution for physical experience, though.Â If anything, theyâ€™re an addition, a new layer of experience that can coexist quite comfortably with the others.Â I like it!
â€œOptions and alternate models for selfhood and civilizations exist in a psychic pattern of probabilities from which we can choose to actualize an entirely new life system.â€ ~ Psychic Politics, The Codicils.
Jan 22, 2009
This is what I wrote earlier today…
Well, itâ€™s Thursday and Iâ€™m at the CafÃ© Coffee once again.Â Biscotti won out over comfy chairs, at least for today.Â Iâ€™m rather tired today, so if I was too comfortable I might be asleep!
A few things to write about today.Â Something that came to me on the bus ride down was to re-evaluate what I was told recently about â€œRelax, let go and Be Spirit.â€Â I finished reading Arthur C. Clarkeâ€™s book â€œ2010: odyssey twoâ€ today, and although Iâ€™ve not read the first book, the basic premise is that there is an alien race that values only the mind and as they spread throughout the universe, over millennia they abandoned their organic forms for bodies of steel and plastic, finally outgrowing those to become pure awareness.Â Along that line, for many years my own interest was solely toward developing my mind, and my body was almost an afterthought.Â I recognized my face when I looked in a mirror and I accepted the perceived limitations of my physical form but my interests were primarily intellectual.Â The thought occurred to me today that in being frightened away from my own body as a young child, I was reluctant to return.Â Of course that presupposes the concept of the body as a shell, a housing for the mind.Â At first blush it might seem that the suggestion to Be Spirit encourages that, but I donâ€™t think so… not anymore.Â Rather, I see that phrase as an encouragement to accept All of myself, to see my body as Spirit rather than simply a container for it.Â Seth makes the same suggestions, talking about the body as being the Spirit expressed in flesh.Â When I saw my body as a limited physical form then I can understand my own reluctance at the time to embrace my â€˜limitedâ€™ form.Â It would seem the jokeâ€™s on me, though, because all that has changed is my perception of myself â€“ an acknowledgement of my own form as infinite.Â Not only is my body an infinite being but every cell in my body is also infinite.Â I remember back to a channeling session where I was told, â€œThe one is many and the many are one.â€Â New understandings of oft-remembered words.
Finally, for now, a quick note.Â Today is the fourth day Marcia and I have spent together; sheâ€™s reading now while I write, and our feet are touching under the table.Â Sheâ€™s always here with me when I imagine her presence, or myself there, but whatâ€™s pleasantly surprising is when she shows up unbidden so to speak.Â Without announcing her arrival sheâ€™ll suddenly lay her hand on mine or sneak up behind me and give me a hug.Â Sometimes sheâ€™ll merge so completely with me that we become two sharing one space.Â I love these moments, but as with the animals in the circle I had imagined when they invited me to join them, I am reminded that the reality of this goes beyond what I have set in place.
I had something else to add, but itâ€™s 2:11 and Iâ€™m off to bed.Â Maybe Iâ€™ll think of it tomorrow.
January 23, 2009
Well, I just came across this quote, and since itâ€™s most appropriate, I thought Iâ€™d lead off with it:
â€œThe most rejuvenating idea of all, and the greatest step to any true illumination, is the realization that your exterior life springs from the invisible world of your reality through your conscious thoughts and beliefs, for then you realize the power of your individuality and identity. You are immediately presented with choices. You can no longer see yourself as a victim of circumstances. Yet the conscious mind arose precisely to open up choices, to free you from a one-road experience, to let you use your creativity to form diversified, varied comprehensions.
â€œLet us make a clear distinction here: Your conscious beliefs direct the flow of unconscious processes which bring your ideas into physical reality, so while your thoughts cause your experience, you are not consciously aware of how this takes place.â€ ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 640.
I went to the library for a while today, followed by a trip to the local Starbucks for a coffee and some writing.Â Hereâ€™s what I came up withâ€¦Â (Did I mention I was there for an hour and a half?)
Well, Friday is here once again, and I have a few things to write about today.Â I had a quick glance at Session 44 of the CC writings this morning and in there it talked about allowing the inner self to have more complete, clearer access to the conscious mind.Â That gave me something to think about, and Iâ€™ve been playing with that idea today.Â One thing that came out of it was a thought that brought me back again to things I already know, but from a slightly different perspective.Â For example, weâ€™re often told to envision our desires, but at the same time to not give thought to how or when they will manifest â€“ what Tut calls the â€˜cursed howsâ€™.Â Old news, but itâ€™s one aspect of reality creation thatâ€™s always bothered me.Â However, as has been happening more and more, I find myself releasing and often reversing ideas I once held.Â Going back to the time when I felt my inner self was working against me, my solution to that perceived reality was that if my inner self wasnâ€™t going to help â€˜meâ€™, I would damn well do it myself.Â And so I set about learning how to do so, and that journey has brought me here.Â Iâ€™m no longer in a place of believing that my inner self is working against me, but Iâ€™ve not quite yet convinced myself that itâ€™s working â€˜forâ€™ me either.Â Still a holdover from the ideas of separation.Â Okay, so letâ€™s do away with that.Â Letâ€™s assume a universe based on loving cooperation, which is where Iâ€™m heading even if I sometimes drag my feet along the way.Â What was it the CC writings said about oppression being precious?
Okay, knowing that I am my inner self and that thereâ€™s no separation between my outer self, inner self and whole self, then how do things change?Â Well, it also says in the CC writings that my conscious mind is capable of knowing everything known by my inner self, although Iâ€™d have to add that doing so requires an expansion of the concepts held by my conscious mind.Â Release too much at once and my conscious mind can feel overwhelmed.Â And as I thought that I realized that Iâ€™ve been protecting my conscious mind from my inner self.Â Thereâ€™s still a basic lack of trust there.Â Holy cowâ€¦Â My mind has been my most precious resource and some part of me has thought it too big a gamble to risk â€“ literally â€˜losing my mindâ€™.Â Thatâ€™s why Iâ€™ve always said I could never be hypnotized and why Iâ€™ve not yet ever been successful at trance channeling work â€“ doing so would mean giving up control of my mind, my most precious resource.Â Wow.Â It reminds me of what Seth said:
â€œYou may finally come to a half-understanding of the nature of reality and wail, â€˜I believe that I have caused these ill effects, but I find myself unable to reverse them.â€™
â€œIf this is the case, then regardless of what you have told yourself thus far, you still do not believe that you are the creator of your own experience. As soon as you recognize this fact you can begin at once to alter those conditions that cause you dismay or dissatisfaction.â€ ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 609.
It also makes more sense to me now why I would be attracted to those sections in the CC writings about being defenseless and giving up protection, having a disregard of fearâ€¦Â Thereâ€™s also a section in the CC writings that says that since the process is to discover these things, thereâ€™s no point in beating myself up for not already knowing them.Â My body was ravaged by others before I was able to do anything about it and my retreat, my safety became the inner reaches of my mind.Â I have given up my heart, to Marcia for example, but not this core of my Being, not even to myself.Â So what does it feel like to open this door and be gently held?Â Wow.
Okay, I got off on a tangent there, but Iâ€™m back.Â I was writing about the hows and whens and looking at it from the perspective that itâ€™s not that my conscious mind canâ€™t know the answers, but that my conscious mind isnâ€™t responsible for these things.Â There are other aspects of my self who are responsible for these, and my conscious mind can relax and let go, trusting in the knowledge that these other aspects of myself are â€˜Meâ€™, and that these events will be brought about in perfect time.Â And here I come back again to the idea that the best my conscious mind can do is to allow the perfection of this, and the worst my conscious mind can do is hinder but not prevent the eventual manifestation of what Iâ€™ve asked for.
Okay, Iâ€™m going to jump back to that other tangent for a moment.Â I was thinking yesterday about my reality and my frustration that in the past Iâ€™ve gotten to the point of almost trying to force my desired reality into existence, and I thought, â€œI know how I would respond to someone trying to force me to do something, even if it was purportedly â€˜for my own goodâ€™, so how could I expect my reality, this mirror of myself to behave differently?â€
As I mentioned yesterday, I finished reading â€˜2010: odyssey twoâ€™ the other day, and while I havenâ€™t read the first book, I have seen the movie and the book and the movie were produced concurrently.Â One of the main characters in both books is â€˜HALâ€™, an advanced computer that is capable of rational thought.Â In the first book a conflict between HAL and the astronauts leads causes HAL to kill the entire crew save one, and he bypasses things and renders HAL inoperative by pulling out his circuit boards.Â The second book begins as a â€˜rescue missionâ€™ to reclaim the ship, HAL and the data and find out what happened.Â Among the crew of the second mission is Dr. Chandra, a Hindu man who was HALâ€™s creator and who relates to HAL better than he does to most humans.Â HAL is rebuilt but the crew donâ€™t trust him and so a switch is installed surreptitiously that will allow them to take over if HAL goes ballistic again.Â At the end of the book there are complications that require coupling the two ships together temporarily and using the fuel from the first ship to propel the second one home.Â It also means abandoning HAL again for an undetermined amount of time.Â Dr. Chandra is in favour of explaining the entire situation to HAL but the rest of the crew is unconvinced.Â HAL questions the idea and the process even as he is counting down, but at T+15 seconds HAL complies with Dr. Chandraâ€™s repeated requests and fires the rockets.Â Only after they are successfully underway does Dr. Chandra admit that he had discovered and dismantled the kill switch several weeks before.
And if that doesnâ€™t parallel my conscious mind and my inner self, nothing does!Â Itâ€™s been impossible for me to batter down these inner reaches of my conscious mind, but by continuing to choose trust and acceptance, these doors are gently opening.Â Reminds me of the Wild Divine games.
Funny, a thought came to me that if my body was as conflicted as my mind Iâ€™d be in horrible shape!Â OTOH, I do have certain conflicts in my body that I can still gently release.Â Thinking about this â€˜hidden fortressâ€™ in my mind, Iâ€™ve realized that that aspect of my mind was willing to give up anything and everything else in order to protect itself.Â Even my greatest desires were held at bay because receiving them meant giving up that protection in return.
The relationship is still fragile, tenuous, but I can feel my mind slowly opening and my inner self gently entering and lovingly holding all that was once protected.Â Another new beginning.Â It reminds me of what Rob wrote about Janeâ€™s â€˜sinful selfâ€™:
[Robâ€™s note:] â€œWe had a hard time believing him when Seth told us the very next evening, on April 23 , that Janeâ€™s sinful self thinks her physical symptoms are necessary â€˜for the personalityâ€™s own goodâ€™; that that self has no conception that its policies have become self-defeating; that, following Catholic and non-Catholic Christianity, it believes that suffering is good for the soul; that the idea of the flesh itself being graced is, to it, blasphemous.â€ ~ Dreams, â€œEvolution,â€ and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, p. 421.
Now obviously Iâ€™m not dealing with a â€˜sinfulâ€™ self in the same way, but many similarities exist, like holding myself apart from good because the trade-off was considered to valuable to proceed.Â I couldnâ€™t see that my own policies had become self-defeating either.Â Thereâ€™s also a section in the CC writings about integrityâ€¦ let me see if I can find it:
â€œYou are acting now in your highest integrity because you have stripped away a substantial amount of the fear which undermines integrityâ€™s every move. But one in fear for his or her survival will necessarily compromise integrity almost without question, almost without notice. It is only by being willing to step outside of the game of survival through the loss of the fear of death and a loss of the fear of consequences according to the rational mindâ€™s perspective that integrity can have room to expand to its fullest potential. So through this process integrity grows, becomes stronger, more stable. It is this growth of the integrity, this expanded sense of the self within its rightness of being which allows you to access these higher levels of creative power.
Upon reviewing this idea, it should be quite clear and almost obvious to you that this is how it must operate. For without this natural correlation between the expansion of the integrity and the access to creative power, self-destruction becomes far too predictable.
Yes. It is only through this process of the expansion of the natural integrity of the self through the release of fear that true growth and understanding are possible. It is through this process that the self becomes aligned to its true nature. And without this process, the separation not only from the natural integrity but in all areas where the self is out of alignment with its true nature, quite literally, and directly, disconnects the self from its creative power.
Within your physical expression, however, it is possible to operate at lower levels of this alignment of self through the manipulation of physical time and space. That is to say, it is quite possible to survive, to live, so long as you live within the narrow confines and rules of the physical existence as understood through the rational mind and ego consciousness. However, it is not possible to step outside of this frame of operation without alignment of the self, to the self. If you will consider this entire session as one piece of understanding you will see that it is complete within itself and offers you a reflection of the understanding which you have come to, in your own way, at this point.â€
Thereâ€™s more to that section but the first paragraph especially says a lot.
I just looked over the rest of my notes for today and right now none of them seem very important.Â Maybe they were just stepping stones to get me here.Â Knowing, really knowing that All That I Am supports my choices goes beyond thinking about it and involves feeling it as well.Â I wonder if anyone else has considered the Yin/Yang symbol to be about feelings and thoughts, intuition and intellect.Â Perfect balance, and too much of one becomes the other.Â Today I celebrate following my own path, and knowing this is the right path for me.Â Trust is also something that is allowed and canâ€™t be forced.Â My life is a celebration of my beliefs.
Okay, thatâ€™s what I wrote this afternoon, but Iâ€™m going to add two more notes here.Â The first is a quick memory of a dream.Â As I was walking back here through the strata I noticed some feathers on the grass, and it reminded me of a dream I had of being a house cat.Â I was almost all black, with very dark eyes, but a bit of white on my chin and throat and chest.Â Nothing much other than that, other than being a cat and doing what cats do!
Thatâ€™s all I have at the moment.Â However itâ€™s 12:58, so maybe Iâ€™ll see about going to bed â€˜earlyâ€™ tonight!
P.S.Â Finished proof-reading this section and I wanted to add that of course my inner self has approached this previously protected area of my self with gentleness and caution â€“ thatâ€™s exactly how â€˜Iâ€™ would do it!Â Iâ€™m not planning on a tombstone, but if I had one it should probably read, â€œHere lies a man who asked for what he wanted and was always surprised when it showed up!â€