Hello Dear Ones!
“Worry and daydreaming are different aspects of the same thing:
your creative imagination.
Worrying creates blueprints of what you do not want…
unintentional creation of your future.
Daydreaming creates blueprints of what you do want…
intentional creation of your future.”
~ Gordana Biernat: #Know the Truth… inspiration #80…
Friday mid-afternoon, my husband and I helped out our son & daughter-in-law by babysitting our precious soon-to-be 3-year-old grandson. We took him outside so Mommy & Daddy could finish up their respective workdays from home. It was the first time we were with him outside without his parents. He eagerly agreed to hold hands crossing the street as we headed over to the now-vacant school yard. Having his 3-wheeled scooter with us… and his helmet… we got him properly attired and set him free.
My goodness were we ever thrilled to see how far he had come in his scootering skills. Having expected to be running after him routinely, we were in awe at the proficiency of his acquired abilities! An hour later he had finally tired of this activity and was drawn to the playground. Taking gymnastics classes, he has developed a body awareness that allows him the confidence to take wise risks with foot placement. No security of foot? No forward motion. He shifts until he finds the support he now knows to recognize as being safe. Keep in mind he had both grandparents bracing him surreptitiously on either side… just in case.
Until… and here comes the reason for today’s post… he decided to sit on a raised platform and wiggle himself backwards. The motion caused giggles and faster movements, and by the time we realized what was happening, he had scooted over to the edge of the platform and took a graceful roll backwards, his head leading the way down the 1 foot drop. I got to him first, as I was closest… but his tumble had caused a major bang to the back of his head. Needless to say, the pain and the shock of the fall had him confused, scared and hurting. My ears can attest to the fact that the boy has a healthy set of lungs!
Wisdom took over. I quietly checked him out to ensure nothing was broken. Nothing was. That his eyes were responding as they should. They were. And I held him close to my heart and soothingly spoke to him. Letting him know I was aware he was hurting, that it was okay to cry it through, and somehow got him to deep breathe in time to my slower, deeper breaths.
Once he was calm, we asked him if he wanted to go back home to Mommy & Daddy, and all 3 of us walked slowly back to his house. By the time we got there, the fall was an adventure in our grandson’s mind that he had to share with his folks, proudly showing them the boo boo he had on the back of his head. He asked for something to drink and a snack as though nothing had ever happened.
But me? I was a basket case. Most definitely feeling guilty, responsible, like a bad grandparent. Had he landed a mere few inches to his right he’d have hit his head on what I remembered as being a cement support. Blessings be that hadn’t occurred, but I was still feeling guilty. What if he had a concussion? We might not know for sure till morning. So, as you can imagine, I didn’t sleep well at all that night.
My thoughts and sporadic dreams were worrisome fears of potentially negative outcomes. I was scared for the child and the parents. There was nothing I could do that I hadn’t done, yet I worried and stressed through most of the night.
Then I remembered the above quote from Gordana Biernat’s book! When I regrouped my thoughts, I realized that I had wasted the past several hours in envisioning ~ creating, if you will ~ negative scenarios… none of which I wanted to unfold. I was worrying about an outcome I didn’t want. What a waste of energy!
It took me a while, and some imaginative creativity, but I was able to envision a healthy, happy boy bouncing out of bed in the morning, laughing as he always does, nothing at all wrong. I began daydreaming. I could eventually see this special child with us, his grandfather & I, sharing many more fun-filled days in the weeks, months and years ahead.
Like the deep breaths I taught our grandson after his fall, I began deep breathing, and daydreaming the reality I wanted as an outcome. And I eventually, and more peacefully, fell into a restful sleep.
It took a few hours to get through to my son the next morning to learn that there had been absolutely no repercussions from the fall or the experience… no concussion, no visible marks, no nightmares… all was good! Of course it was!
Hard as they are, I appreciate such valuable lessons that help teach me ~ yes, even in my ripe old age ~ how to shift my energies from fear and worry to those of loving, calm, trusting experiences. I obviously still re-act to scary situations with old, previously-learned responses, yet I am more quickly opening to ways of seeing and being that bring an ease and a joy to my life.
As Gordana would say: “… knowing who you are changes everything!”
In Light and Laughter,
PS: Thanks to the Monkees for the title of today’s post!