Don’t Call People Out – Call Them In

Hi Folks:

We came across this video the other day (presented at TEDMonterey 2021) and had to pass it along. This is the best forum for us to do just that! If you’ve read other of our posts this goes without saying, but we love this woman!

Loretta J. Ross - TED Monterey 2021

Don’t Call People Out – Call Them In (click on the image to see the video)

We’re continually barraged with messages from the media and others telling us we have to call people out,  that we have to assign blame and seek retribution. Unfortunately, that does nothing to promote healing. As has been said, it’s like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Hate met with hate only generates more hate, and the cycle continues on and on. Hate met with love, however, must either transform or retreat. It’s within each of us to make that choice, every day. Mother Teresa was noted to say that she would never attend an anti-war rally, but to invite her to a pro-peace one. After the genocide in Rwanda in 1994, reconciliation and forgiveness began with one man and one woman. It became a movement that transformed the country.

Hate and anger can seem easy. It takes one’s own sense of shame/ blame for whatever perceived offence crowds one’s mind and pushes it out to others. It distracts us from looking within, even briefly. But there is a very heavy price to pay for that. Yes, bad things have happened, are happening and will continue to happen, every day. And each one of us have the right to decide to turn in a different direction, toward something instead of away. As it says in the Bible, “So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone …” ~ King James Version (KJV)

Each of us have our own spiritual understandings, as diverse and complex as they may be, but if one studies any of the world’s essential religions one will find the same message – love one’s neighbour as one’s self. And loving one’s self can be the hardest step of all, but it is most definitely worth it.

In 11 years Marcia and I have shared hugs, stories, smiles and more with locals and visitors from (at least) 88 countries. These have included people from all ages, all income brackets, all Ways, all skin colours… you name it. Even several species – if you include the dogs, bearded dragons, velociraptor, etc. 🙂 Every hug is unique and special, and every moment of shared affection is to be treasured. It may seem fragile, but it truly is the foundation of all that exists.

We bid you peace.


P.S. This is also worth reading – a teacher asks her class to help each other lift the baggage they’re carrying. It may be the most profound thing you read today: Baggage Activity

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