“Can’t” vs. “Yet”

Hi Folks:

While the title of this post sounds like something involving a court action, it’s really about a matter of perspective. In a powerful talk by Dr. Carol Dweck given at TEDxNorrkoping (below), she explains the difference between rewarding positive results (and punishing failure) vs. encouraging development. When people are given a specific endpoint and they either pass or fail, they either become used to looking for/needing rewards to keep going or become so disillusioned with their potential that they simply stop trying. Instead of that black/white approach, Carol advocates motivating and encouraging progress, no matter where we are in the moment. Doing so repetitively creates an atmosphere where the gains are internal and there is a process of life-long learning and growth. It’s definitely something we should be teaching our children, and also something we can share with others and remember for ourselves. Truly outstanding.

You can see Carol’s Stanford University profile here, and her Brainology website here.

Hugs,
M&M

He Says, She Says… Moving Day

Hello, Dear Reader:

Things have been a little quiet lately here in our little corner of the ‘net, but since we have three or four blog posts to do, let’s see if we can’t change that!  This ‘He Says, She Says…‘ post is going to be primarily a ‘He Says’, but as always Marcia gets the final edit.  I have an idea for this blog post but  I’m  having a little difficulty forming words around it; be patient and we’ll get there.

As the old saying goes, “You won’t recognize the house when you come to visit; we’ve moved.”  Actually Sunday and Monday were primarily occupied in getting our ‘stuff’ over to the new house.  Moving is nothing new for Marcia and me; so far, in the years we’ve been a couple we’ve occupied 17 different homes – together or separately.  Last summer the folks at Victoria’s Boulevard magazine asked people to submit entries of 300 words or less on the subject of ‘home’; I wrote in and told them that Marcia would say I couldn’t write anything in 300 words to save my life, but the concept of ‘home’ has been an interesting one for us.  We’ve each been planning to come here to Victoria for quite a number of years, even before we met, and we’re rather liking the idea that we don’t plan to move again.  The editors at Boulevard were kind enough to include my letter (edited for length!) in their recent 2010 Home Design Annual. Continue Reading →

He Says, She Says… Releasing Historical Patterns

Hello, Dear Reader:

One of the Energy Medicine Cards, revealed at a crossroads in Marcia’s work day recently:

RELEASING:

Examine your beliefs. Assess your emotions. Wherever there is historical pattern, be willing to throw it out and see anew.

~ Energy Medicine Cards

It is with the prompting of this simple suggestion that our topic was chosen …

Read on…

Follow these links to read what He Says/She Says: Marcia’s View / Mike’s View

Marcia’s Meanderings – Growth through Challenge

Hello Dear Ones!

My niece is 10 years old today. While I wrote a birthday wish on her Facebook wall, I was contemplating what life would be like for her this year. As I tend to do at times like that, I envisioned the most amazing experiences for the 365 days ahead – fun and laughter, joy and play, learning and growth – offering loving thoughts with expectations for positive experiences and fabulous outcomes.

I found myself flashing back to my own life at that age. I reviewed some of the joys and the challenges of being 10 years old back in my day- and that was several decades ago! The most joyous memories seemed a mixed blend of highs and lows – growth and fears.  A quality that I recall having then and retain to this day is my absorption of anything new. I was and still am like a sponge – taking in everything new around me!

One experience that brought me immense joy and drama was going to summer camp.  Like many children, I’d never been away from family for more than a few days at a time. To be gone for two weeks was an enormous concept, filling me with both excitement and trepidation.  The separation was a rite of passage. It became even more than that in many ways. Continue Reading →