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Welcome back. I’ve recently received several more ‘Future Me‘ posts from last year, so I’m going to continue on from my last writings post…
January 6, 2009
Well, after last night’s writing and the dreamwork, it’s been an interesting day. I woke up this morning with several thoughts on my mind…
One is that I have the intuitive knowledge I need to create in this new manner. The old ways don’t seem to work for me. My conscious mind is a participant but not the director in this process. I’m learning a new way of being that integrates more of my self into common action. I took a look at the CC writings tonight and came across session #40. I’m adding in the text here because it applies to what I’ve written above, and also leads me with some pertinent questions:
“When Times Get Tough, Walking the Dream, The Life-Long Career of Observing Thoughts
These are trying times. It seems to you that you are at the limits of your endurance. You are at the limits, but we would say it is not of your endurance. It is when you approach these limits, these peripheral edges of knowing, when you take the greatest risks and achieve the greatest expansion. It is also when your fear is the greatest. And when you find it the most difficult to trust. Is this not so? You are right in understanding the acceptance and the examination of the now moment and all that it contains, recognizing how in its way it is individual and different from all other now moments preceding it.
You can see if you look at these patterns that again the rational mind is up to the trick of convincing you that all this experience is the same. That each day is essentially the same day repeated, and yet when you look at this with your full awareness it is clear to you that this idea is absolutely ludicrous. You have veritable lifetimes in a 12-hour span while other people have nothing but a repetition of death. It is no wonder it makes you tired to be around them. So don’t be around them. You have made your choices – now accept them. It is not so terrible as you think.
Recognize how the energy that you project comes directly back to you. Do you not see this in the events of the day? You have given yourselves opportunities to validate the choices you have made. When you ignore the opportunity, then the self will repeat the question . . . is this the choice you made? And each time the question grows louder, but only in so much as you are clear about the fact that you desire to make the new choice, and then refuse to validate it. So you must ask yourself clearly and honestly, “Do I believe that it is as simple as I can have what I choose? And if I do believe this, why are there things in my life that I say I do not choose?” It is a wonderful paradox.
For indeed the answer must be that whatever is in your life, is what you have chosen. We can see you do not like this answer. And yet we ask you to explain to us how you can make it different. Accept the belief. Within your framework of reference this is very much like saying, “I choose to walk on water and so I do.” The rational mind has a warehouse full of all the reasons why this cannot be so. And yet you know quite clearly that it IS so. We suggest you burn the warehouse. It is fairly simple to do. Simply remind yourselves again of the nature of creation. The nature of love. And the nature of reality. And then you choose to allow the magical to operate in such a way as to free your rational mind from all of these unnecessary concerns. Remember that it is the illusion of cause and effect . . . it is the illusion of results based on the rational approach . . . Remember that these are not the bedrock of reality, but merely the rational mind’s way of explaining what it does not understand. So long as you must enslave yourselves to this understanding you enslave yourselves to limitation.
Walk the dream. Use the processes we have given you. When you find yourself asking in your mind how will this happen or when you find yourself observing the part of you that believes it can’t happen, use the processes we have given you. Uproot that which you do not want and replace it with your new choice. When we suggest to you to watch your thoughts, we do not mean for a day. And yet we are also not saying to you do not live your lives. We are suggesting to you that with practice this becomes a new way of living. For are you not seeking to remain within the expanded state of your awareness through the present now moment that is your life? Now, we will caution you not to berate yourselves for those moments when you fail to achieve this new goal. For this is certainly counterproductive. It is like meditation. If you argue with the mind for losing its focus aren’t you leaving the focus even further behind? And so you breathe, recall the focus, retrain to the focus, and move on.
There is so much that you have recognized as unnecessary to your experience. To that extent, you can say to yourself that it was the purpose of the recognition that brought the event to your experience. As opposed to asking the question, “Why did I create this?” It is very simple to tell when you have brought forth such an experience for the purpose of recognition and release – it feels like shit. (laughter) You do not covet your shit (more laughter) you let it go. So when this feeling appears in your experience, rather than seeking out some cause within yourself, simply look at the experience which is producing this feeling and recognize it. It is very simple. This is shit! Do not attach it to the self. Let it go.
Think of it this way: within the larger world of your physical reality, there is a great deal of shit. Have you not seen it? In any place where, as your esteemed teacher Emmanuel has already pointed out to you, fear is the master, you can be expected to find great piles of shit. (laughter) This does not mean that it is your job to go around and own them all. It DOES mean it is your job to recognize when they walk into your experience and open the door wide and show them the exit. We would like to be very clear here. We are not saying that there are not beliefs that you may choose to change, replace or let go of as you grow. We are saying that as you accomplish this task, those around you who are less willing to examine their own motivations will bring you their shit, quite happily, in great hope that you will take it from them, make them right and help them to continue to avoid the self that is their own. This is not open license – you will know. You have had very specific demonstrations – take them to heart. It does not require a judgement against the person, it requires discernment and a willingness to be done with shit. Again this is why the processes we have offered you are not for temporary use only.
Clarity of Intention, Trust the Knowing
We suggest to you that you consider your understanding of intention and allow yourselves to know the truth of this process. The intention is great. The intention is clear. And in those areas where it is not clear it becomes clear. And so the task before you now is to trust the intention, to trust the creative power of the intention. To replace ALL thoughts of doubt or uncertainty or rational explanation for what can or cannot be, with the knowing of the intention. Can you see this? Excellent. Do not be concerned about the details which are not yet relevant, but be clear in the clarity of the intention. For it is true that in this way, all of your goals are accomplished. And it is also true that in this time, you have come to this place through your own willingness to observe all of the self without fear of judgment. It is your lack of defensiveness, it is your lack of the need for pretense or to protect yourselves from knowing the self that brings you to this place. Do not attempt to look outside of the self, particularly at any others, for any kind of understanding in this process. For there are no others in your direct experience at this time who have been this willing. Do not filter your intent through the ideas of the rational mind.
That is to say, do not allow yourself to dilute the clarity of your intention with the false mechanisms and reasoning of the rational mind’s approach. Go back to your understanding of creation and intention instead. If you will carry this process in the front of your mind throughout your experience of the now moment in your days, you will greatly accelerate all of your processes. We also wish to remind you that as you are doing this, you are to stand firmly and safely in your own trust. Do not make this the new taskmaster but use it instead to allow yourself to be where you are and accept that intention is carrying you easily to your desired goal.”
So, what are my choices? How am I validating them? What is my understanding of intention? What is the scope of intention and what power does it have? Some good questions to ask. Maybe in the dream state.
“You were born with an in-built recognition of your own goodness. You were born with an inner recognition of your rightness in the universe. You were born with a desire to fulfill your abilities, to move and act in the world. Those assumptions are the basis of what I will call natural law.
“You are born loving. You are born compassionate. You are born curious about yourself and your world. Those attributes also belong to natural law. You are born knowing that you possess a unique, intimate sense of being that is itself, and that seeks its own fulfillment and the fulfillment of others. You are born seeking the actualization of the ideal. You are born seeking to add value to the quality of life, to add characteristics, energies, abilities to life that only you can individually contribute to the world, and to attain state of being that is uniquely yours, while adding to the value fulfillment of the world.” ~ The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, session 862.
January 8, 2009
Well, I have two quotes to start with here, one from Seth and one from Abraham that in their own way, tie together and also fit with some of the stuff I’ve been writing lately. No big surprise there.
[Rob’s note:] “We had a hard time believing him when Seth told us the very next evening, on April 23 , that Jane’s sinful self thinks her physical symptoms are necessary ‘for the personality’s own good’; that that self has no conception that its policies have become self-defeating; that, following Catholic and non-Catholic Christianity, it believes that suffering is good for the soul; that the idea of the flesh itself being graced is, to it, blasphemous.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, p. 421.
We would like you to release the word “achieve” or “earn” from your vocabulary and from your understanding, altogether, and we would like you to replace those words with the word “allow”. You’re wanting to allow your Well-being, not achieve it. It’s not something that you need to earn. All you have to do is decide what it is you would like to experience, and then allow it in order to achieve it. It isn’t something you have to struggle for or try for. You are all worthy beings. You are deserving of this Well-being. ~ Abraham-Hicks
Alrighty then. This is what I wrote this afternoon:
Well, it’s Thursday, the Café Coffee is open, and they have Nonni’s Biscotti. All is right with the world. Not only that but I got a free bus ride downtown, and I got to sit in the top front seat! And when I got to the café I got the biscotti for $1.75 instead of the $2.25 it said on the sign because $2.25 is just too much. So there! They’re still renovating the café but it looks like it will be about twice the size when it’s done. They have a baby grand piano there that plays itself!
Anyway, I have some ideas of thing to write about on the computer but it’s not here so I’ll just see what comes. One of the notes I have on the computer is from the CC writings and it’s a question from session 40, which asks, “So you must ask yourself clearly and honestly, “Do I believe that it is as simple as I can have what I choose?” That brings me back to the power of intention again. My rational mind can understand physical action because movement creates a tangible effect, something directly related to the action. But intention is something I haven’t seen as providing concrete results, and yet I’m well aware of the fact that it has happened. And I’m learning to trust it but so far it hasn’t seemed reliable – not a 100% thing. Still, it may be simply a case of practice makes perfect… Had a thought there, but it’s gone. Oh yeah, I was thinking that I’ve written before about my fear that as I grow and change that my world would shift in ways I hadn’t considered and I might get so far down that road I wouldn’t be able to go back again. The next stage was accepting that my world and my perception of it will change, but wherever I am in the moment will always seem normal to me. Well, the thought that came to me today is that because I’m growing and changing my world has to shift as well, but this is actually a good thing because it opens me up to even more growth and awareness. If Columbus had never sailed beyond view of the shore, he never would have landed in Honduras. Whether or not that was a good thing is debatable, but anyway. And so I’m now in a place of anticipating new discoveries, and not expecting them to match old patterns. Knowing that I am safe, that the world in which I live is safe, I am free to seek new discoveries, new Ways of Being. As I wrote the other day, the old Ways no longer work for me. Time to let them go and embrace what I am becoming. This is the result of what I’ve asked for after all, and changes to my physical world are mirrors of changes that are going on within my own psyche. Therefore as I change and grow, my world must change and grow to reflect that.
Something else from my notes on the computer is a thought that came to me yesterday. Some of my most recent readings from the CC stuff is that challenges can often be worked out best in the dream state, and so I’ve been making more concrete intentions pre-sleep for the past few days. What came to me yesterday was, “This life is a waking dream.” One of the things I ‘know’, but being reminded of them can often bring new perceptions. Because it got me thinking about my imagined realities, and how easily everything happens there. In my imagination I can do or be or have anything I want, just by thinking about it. And here’s where we get to, “Of course! But that’s just my imagination.” Uh huh. And so that brings me to the next logical question, which asks what my beliefs are about this reality – keeping in mind Seth’s counsel that, “Everything you consider to be an aspect of reality is a belief about reality that you hold.” Or as Richard Bach would say, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” So, I’ve been giving some careful thought to that, because I have built up layer upon layer of belief over the years about the rules and restrictions and governance surrounding physical reality. And now I want to set a match to all of them and simply see what’s possible! Here’s another Seth quote:
“All personal contact with the multidimensional God, all legitimate moments of mystic consciousness, will always have a unifying effect. They will not, therefore, isolate the individual involved, but instead will enlarge his perceptions until he will experience the reality and uniqueness of as many other aspects of reality of which he is capable.
“He will feel, therefore, less isolated and less set apart. He will not regard himself as being above others because of the experience. On the contrary he will be swept along in a gestalt of comprehension in which he realizes his own oneness with All-That-Is.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 561.
So that’s where I’m at with that. Seeing, no, understanding intention as a direct cause or force, yielding direct results. Understanding my own interplay between this and other realities. Hmmm… I just had a thought pop into my head about a vision I had some years ago. I’ve written about it before, but in this vision I was looking at different aspects – love, wisdom, health, etc. and they were all children and all playing together in a park – all except money. Money was sitting alone in a corner by itself, largely because my beliefs about money had separated it from all of the other aspects of my life. When I realized that I expanded my views and money was invited into the group, by the end of the vision they were all playing together and changing into each other.
Well, I’ve created the same division between physical and non-physical. I have many non-physical aspects and realities, and they’re all lined up on one side, and on the other side we have physical reality, all by itself. Not very fair, and not very accurate, either, especially since I’ve piled up all of these laws and rules and restrictions concerning physical reality, but said that they don’t apply to other levels of reality. Hmmm… What if it is as simple as I can have what I choose?
Okay, let’s see here…
Another thing I came across from the CC writings the other day that’s given me something to think about is the following (emphasis mine).
“It’s about extending the boundaries, not setting them in place. If you insist on setting the boundaries in place around the work we have already accomplished then you have missed the point entirely. For the work has just begun. You have chosen the job of expanding the work, not conforming to it. So naturally you use all of the tools available to you within the work. Believing despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc.
But you know instinctively and intuitively that it’s your job to go beyond, otherwise you become lowly apostles, followers, and essentially, blind sheep. Blind sheep. Leading more blind sheep. And what is the good of this? It accomplishes nothing.”
It’s that one sentence, “Believing despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc.” that’s gotten me thinking. And the reason I’ve been going over that sentence is that while I can understand that idea at the beginning of a desire, at what point does it become self-fulfilling? What I mean is, if you follow through the process of setting your intention and believing in it despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc. then at some point one must assume that things will change, there will be physical evidence and the desire will be fulfilled. Otherwise, is it possible to keep on believing that one must believe despite evidence and so never experience the evidence? In other words, to go on believing and never have the desire fulfilled? Maybe it’s my tendency to take things too literally, but it gave me something to think about. Again, though, intention is the answer. If my intention is to see my desire fulfilled, then I can accept that my desire has been fulfilled in the moment of asking without any evidence to support that. However, if my intention is different, perhaps to work on believing in the possibility of having the desire achieved despite any evidence, then I could end up walking a very long path indeed.
And finally, I had a look at session 43 from the CC writings tonight. I’m going to add them in here:
Rejecting That Which You DON’T Choose, Healing Comes Through the Self
Again, it is necessary for you to be willing to reject that which you do not choose. And while this may be a painful lesson for some, any compromise is your undoing. For compromise suggests a lack of trust and faith in the self. And you are quite correct in assuming that all healing must come through the self. And while it may be reflected nicely in another, the healing must happen within YOU. For the healing of another, while it makes you “feel good” ultimately does nothing to serve your own higher purposes. That is, unless you take this healing to heart and so begin your own work. It is highly distorted to think that you will heal through another person. For you cannot. Just as you cannot be born or die for another person. And yet through honoring the self and healing the self, you create the ingredients and the example of what is possible. This is the extent of the gift you are able to offer to each other. Do not be fooled into thinking that you can or that you SHOULD attempt to take on one another’s burdens. For this is merely a rearrangement of what none of you want. When you own what is yours clearly and definitely, and with a lovingness to the self, then there are no discrepancies. There is no guilt. There is no blame. And there are no veiled repartees.
Fear will tell you that you cannot do this alone. It will distort even the most holy of ideas to convince you that there is some savior, some lover, some perfect One outside of the self who is required for your redemption. This is a lie. It is the redemption of the self that is required. And you may take as long as you wish to come to this decision. But you will not truly be free until you meet this choice and choose for yourself. So you must choose. Are you evil? Are you sinful? Is fear your master? Are you its slave? Or are you Love? Are you Love in all its unpredictable, spontaneous, wholly original and outrageous glory? Love that allows, love that allows each of you to discover for yourselves who you are, what values you hold high, what is acceptable to you, and what is not?
Love is not a slave to fear. Love can look fear in the eye and call it what it is. And love leaves no room for blame or guilt or reasonable doubt. Love says, HERE I AM. And you say, “You weren’t supposed to look like that.” So who is incorrect? Who is uninformed? We would suggest to you that whenever there is a question in your mind about the motivations for your actions, or your words, that you are not in Love. Any act made in fear towards another will bring you what you send. This is not a reflection of love or love’s weakness. This is a reflection of you. For love, no matter how loving, cannot reach you and even in its most high and glorious way, you will distort it.
If you will follow this little circle which we have now shown you, you will see how the healing of the self, by the self, and through the self, is the only path which can bring you to that which you seek. There is nothing wrong with this. It is inherent in the design of who you are. For how can you truly go through life knowing that you carry within you the essence of god and acting as if fear were your master and expect to experience the love you seek? You cannot.
Honoring Your Path, Course Corrections
There is a rightness and dedication to higher principles at work here. For each of you, there is a path, a path which will be honored and ring true within the self. In each moment, your challenge will be to honor that path which is yours. And to release and reject that which is not. In the days to come, if you will follow this as the guidance to bring you to the true joy of knowing and living a loving life, then you cannot fail. And in each moment, when you slip, when you honor what is less than the self, when you succumb to fear, when you believe in what is NOT true, and what brings you less than that which you seek, you will bring yourself again to the place of choice. We urge you that in these times, you reset your course promptly and faithfully. Do not waste time reviewing the fault, the error of your judgment, or the rational justifications for your actions away from the self’s desire. Instead, correct your course. Review, forgive, move on. The more efficient at this you become, the easier your task will be.
Of course you are free to argue with us. You are free to hold fast to an opinion that does not serve you. You are free to lose love completely in order to remain “in the right”, “in control”, and “beyond reproach.” But these will be hollow victories indeed. For having known love, you know better. And so we encourage you to be gentle with yourselves, and ruthless in your practices of self-love, and diligence. If you are unclear on a thing, if you are uncertain of your feelings, stop. Take the time, for time is all you have. Get clear. Then move into action. We are quite sure that now we have quite upset the teacart and given you all plenty to think about. Consider carefully, for the decisions you make now will carry forward into your lives and bring you precisely what you choose. The basic concepts, building blocks, are all about/around you.”
I added this in here for two reasons. One, it ties in with what I wrote before about trying to ‘save’ others. I have to let that go too. The other reason is more elusive, harder to pin down, and not really known by anyone but me. And that is that when I’m with others, I tend to revert to a shadow. It’s not nearly as obvious as it used to be, when I would refuse to sit in someone’s house, preferring to stand by the door, on the edge of everything. I’ve come a long way since then. But even in my relationship with Marcia, I’ve always tended to retreat to the background when we’re together. Marcia is so open, so loving, right there with a friendly smile for people, that even when I introduced her to my friends, I let her take the forefront. Now let me be clear with myself here about this: this isn’t about resentment or recrimination, and it’s certainly not blaming Marcia for anything. I love her because she is who she is. She makes me feel welcome when I’m around her too and I would never want to change that. This leads back to the belief I wrote about the other day about other people being more important than I am, and therefore putting myself automatically at the back. This is all about me, and my choices. Because it’s been my choice to put myself down, to hold myself back, to put myself automatically in second place. I’ve been working with this issue for a long time now and I am much, much better than I used to be, but still, with what I wrote the other day I was surprised how much I’ve still allowed that belief to operate in my life. Seeing myself as whole doesn’t negate anyone else. I can be equal. It’s interesting, if I think back about it, that the basis for this choice actually results in part from a backlash to being considered special. When I was younger I was always the class ‘brain’, and that set me apart from the other kids in class. It’s been like that back to grade 1. But I didn’t want to be different or separated from everyone else, and so in my own mind I decided to reverse that idea and to hold myself back, just so I’d be about even. Funny how things like that can grow. And fester! Hmmm… Anyway, as suggested at the beginning of this section of the CC writings, my first responsibility is to heal myself, and to honour my own choices. I can begin by stopping the idea of comparing myself to others, and to stop having a first place, second place, etc. And I can just be me, and be all that I am. And if my light shines exceptionally bright, then let that be an example as to what’s possible for others. Not that I have to guide them on that path, but that they can know it’s there and find it. I like that. It ties in with what I’ve been writing about with regard to being a fully aware, strong, powerful multidimensional spiritual being. My healing has already begun. It began a long time ago. Let it continue now, unhindered.
Okay, it’s 2:22 a.m. so I should probably think about turning in!
January 9, 2009
Well, it’s already 12:34 a.m. so I’m going to keep this short for today. I only really have one note to add in today, but it’s an important one. I am healing myself. It’s been a long time coming, and I’ve made starts over the years, but I’m finally there. I am healing myself. For so many years I was afraid of myself, afraid of my own power, afraid of what I was capable of… I’m not afraid anymore. I can’t put into words the feelings that this generates in me – excitement mostly, but there’s an almost overwhelming sense of Wow that goes with it too! I think that’s the biggest change for me recently – I’m no longer afraid of my own power, no longer afraid of what I can do with my own abilities and those I am still achieving. Promises to be an exciting time! What if it is as simple as I can have what I want…
“Consciousness, by its nature, continually expands. The nature of consciousness, as you understand it as a species will, in one way or another, lead you beyond your limited ideas of reality, for your experience will set challenges that cannot be solved within your current framework. Those problems set by one level of consciousness will automatically cause breakthroughs into other areas of conscious activity, where solutions can be found.” ~ The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. 1, session 697.
January 17, 2009
Well, it’s been an interesting week or so since I last sat down to type anything out. I think I’m going to go through my notes first and then see where I go from there.
Well I had a good day today. Watched Gilmore Girls on TV this morning for the first time in forever, and it was a great episode – where Emily gets arrested for DUI and Christopher takes Lauralai to a drive-in theatre for two, projected on a barn wall. That was such a great show. Also had a mango this morning, which was very tasty! And then I went out to the Grand 10 and watched ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’. A good movie, well done, and it gave me some things to think about.
I have a few short notes here that I’ll try to make some sense of. The first is about my teeth, and I got to thinking that since my teeth have always been so irregular, my focus with regard to my teeth has always been about finding those imperfections, spaces, holes, etc. and getting in and around them to get the food out and keep them clean, and that obsession probably explains in large part all of the holes I have in my teeth right now. However, every moment is a new beginning and so I’ve decided to obsess about having healthy teeth instead!
The next thought I had was about an Abraham term, ‘pre-paving’, and while I understand the concept, pre-paving to me seemed like I was always pushing my good out in front of me. It’s one thing to imagine and focus on what I desire without any physical evidence of its existence, but at some point it has to show up in the physical or the exercise is pointless. More on that later. Yesterday afternoon I slept for two solid hours, and when I awoke I was aware that I had been doing some solid work. I’m playing with developing more conscious awareness of my dream state, and playing with both sides. While rest need not be oblivion to the conscious mind, it’s also okay for me to turn my mind off from time to time. In the end I am lowering the boundaries between this and other realities, and that’s a very good thing. I’m imagining my reality in my own way. My way may be different from other people, but that’s okay, and in the end, others are me and I am them.
Finally, it IS that easy.
Well, I’ve had several thoughts today focused around the idea that my life reflects my choices and that has brought up questions of why I’m Living here where I am.
One thing that came to memory today was back to 1996. The Ontario government was cutting back all over the place and nobody’s job was really secure, but at the time I was looking forward to it because I felt that leaving the MNR was a sign from the Universe or whatever that new doorways were being opened up for me. And when that didn’t happen – at least in any way close to what I was expecting, I felt rejected. It’s funny, almost all of the work I’ve done since then has been trades work or physical work, whereas before I was using mostly my mind…
And in thinking about all of this stuff I realized that it means nothing. It never did, but my belief that it did is what created the experiences I had. Funny, I used to believe that my beliefs were almost independent of me and that they ruled my life, and in so doing I trapped myself into the ultimate Catch-22. I’m so glad I shifted out of that. It reminds me of the CC quote about being in a room and slowly realizing that the walls no longer exist. Hang on, let me go find it.
“Now take a moment and consider that a conscious awareness resides within a room. In this sense, we are suggesting an imaginary conscious awareness made up of a group of beings and an imaginary room. And consider the idea that some within the group begin to perceive that the room exists only so long as they believe in it. And so these individuals begin to move much more freely in the larger arena of All That Is. The other individuals comprising the group of awarenesses, in the beginning, may or may not perceive these changes in the individuals who are no longer contained by the room. Over time, as more and more individuals see beyond this imaginary boundary, the boundary becomes less “real” so that eventually those individuals who have not yet explored or perceived the nonexistence of the room, find themselves looking out and seeing beyond the boundaries of the room, quite accidentally. Some of them will argue that it is their natural state to remain within the room. This argument is akin to those ideas which say it is your natural place to unconsciously play out roles in this human drama without comprehension of your own creative will and power.
Now, in your experience, we would say that by virtue of the number of individuals exploring not only the nature of the boundary of the room itself, but also all that is outside of the room, in the larger arena, that you are presently in a situation with a large number of beings standing in a room which they agree exists despite mounting evidence in their own perception to the contrary. In some ways, this is why the idea of total reorientation seems large and yet small. It is huge from the perspective of outer perception powerlessness, beings as victims, and yet the distance one travels (as you have witnessed yourself) to arrive in the new territory is not so great. This is because the new territory is literally rising to meet you. It is also interesting to note that at some point the territory is here, so that from the perspective of the beings in the room, the room has suddenly dissolved and the only way to retain the illusion is to actively create it yourself. This is your future.”
And that brings me back to the power of choice – my choices, and how what I choose creates the environment and experiences of my life. I’ve been slowly doing a 180 from what my beliefs used to be a few years ago – and were for a long time. I am an infinite being, a conscious co-creator of my life. I am healing myself and healing myself includes healing my relationships with others. Better to see them as being fully aware, strong, powerful multidimensional spiritual beings – for my benefit if for nobody else. And so when I see people get to arguing I just retreat and say to myself, ‘I know you! You’re infinite beings!’ And then it’s hard to keep from laughing.
I saw ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ on Sunday and it was well done. I can understand how Peter related it to ‘Forrest Gump’. Marcia mentioned that it left her in a blue funk, and if I really think about it, the one thing that really impacted me from the movie was a feeling of regret over never being a father. I’ve been a dad, a big brother, a friend, a confidant, a mentor and probably every other role of a father. I’ve raised children from infants to adulthood, and I’ve been a father in every way except the pregnancy and birth part, the sense of connection that comes from being a father. And that’s never really mattered to me before, but somehow watching that movie I felt a sense of loss from it. Strange.
I was at Value Village today to get a pair of jeans and came across ‘The Blue Girl’ by Charles deLint. I was in the clothes and had an impulse to check out the book section and just kept looking for ‘something’. Then I thought I should find a Charles deLint book, and I did! Nice creation, Michael!
Well, it’s Thursday again and I’m at the Café Coffee, which is being slowly transformed into the Green Room Bistro. To that end they’ve removed the comfy chairs and the lounge atmosphere and added more cafeteria style tables and chairs. I might have to go back to Blenz, but they do have great biscotti here.
I read Session 10 of the CC writings last night and it got me back to thinking about my old buzzword, trust. I’ve written a lot about trust in the past, but never from the perspective where I find myself now – a place of healing. I’ve written before that trust is the hardest thing in the world for me to do, but I recognize now that’s not true. As with everything, to trust is a choice. Trust can be the easiest thing in the world. I could write that I have many examples from my past where trust was violated or I was let down or whatever and while each of these examples may be true, I can also say that each of them flowed synchronistically from where I was within myself at the time and who I believed myself to be. Connected to the idea of trust, for me, has also been the idea of ‘not questioning’ and that brings up its own set of issues and questions, all of which can be dealt with in the same way. I used to believe that letting go and not questioning – trusting in the process – meant that I had to accept whatever happened and give up the idea of getting what I want. However, at the time I also believed that some other aspect of my self, someone ‘not me’ was in charge of deciding my experiences, and I raged against that level of control, even if it didn’t really exist. Since then I have expanded my sense of self to the point where ‘me’ is more than I’ve previously understood myself to be, and so the one who makes decisions about my life is ‘Me’. At the beginning of Session 10 there’s a paragraph about synchronicity, but it goes on to say that for many people things like synchronicity are limited to a few areas of life where the mind is most comfortable. From the CC writings:
Synchronicities and Limitation, Fears Associated with Becoming Conscious Creators, Trusting Yourself
Minor demonstrations which you give names such as synchronicity, coincidence etc., allow you to see how creation operates in your system. However, if you examine these events and demonstrations and the beliefs and lives of the people who experience them you will see that they largely fall into certain accepted areas of their experience. This is again a demonstration of the outer perspective’s influence. You will notice that this area is very narrow and that the vast majority of acceptable experience falls under the direct control of the rational mind. You have locked yourself into a square box and you have given the rational mind the task of endlessly measuring and re-measuring its dimensions, and this is done without ever recognizing that the entire experience: the box, the measuring tools, the measurements themselves, are your creation. And so the task has been: How to help you dismantle the box. We would suggest that it was a task worthy of the effort. Worthy of the fear. Worthy of yourselves. And you have faithfully identified many of the structures, and recognize them as you set them aside. Fear of non-conformity, fear of irresponsibility, fear of lunacy, fear of your own trustworthiness, fear that your own discernment was not up to the task, fear of self delusion, fear of consequences. There are more. Fear that you were wrong and that you are not divine. Fear that perhaps after all you really were not worthy. And the one tool that has moved you beyond all these fears is trust. And this trust is not in some outside deity, but in yourselves, in the nature of what is, and in creation. Because you understood that trust outside of yourself could not take you, the only answer was to trust yourself. And finally you came to a place where trusting yourself separated you from the very beings you had looked to when you started down the path. And in that moment you became free. (Scratches forehead and smiles) There was never a requirement that you make judgements, for or against. There was only a requirement that you use your own power of discernment to know the truth about yourselves. The beauty of this truth is that it sets free everyone in your experience. By knowing freedom yourselves, by trusting yourselves, you release all of creation. There is no middle road. And you knew this when you began. Now apply this knowing to every single one of your questions about what IS and what WILL BE and you will have no more questions. Indeed the questions themselves will become your markers for old forms of thoughts. And as they arise, you will laugh and set them aside. And in these moments the new creation will surge into your being and everything you are creating will be revealed in perfection. Now perhaps you understand the gift we have given you. The gift you have given yourselves today. Those who have guided you can no longer take you. For now you will take them. And the brilliance of your path will amaze and astound them.
Funny thing is, I can see that operating in my own life. I used to think the answer was to stretch my understandings of my conscious mind beyond what is comfortable to get myself to grow, but maybe the answer is to simply expand the extent where I do feel comfortable. There’s something in the CC writings about that, too.
Okay, I’m back.
For several months now I’ve been playing with the phrase ‘Relax and let go’, and that’s evolved from ‘Relax and let go and let the current carry you’ to ‘Relax and let go and let Spirit carry you’. But this morning I woke up with a different thought: “Relax and let go and Be Spirit.” Subtle difference, but an important one.
Last night I was reading some of the CC writings again and I got to the one section entitled, ‘Trying to Explain and Being the Child’. Here’s the first part of that section:
“Trying to Explain and Being the Child
It is not explainable. As soon as we begin to explain, you move back into analytical thought. Explanations, even the word tells you it’s not the right direction. So, how to convey this, this unbearable lightness of being. This child in you knows it is very good to reconnect in this way, through the child. It also presents the challenge that most of you have so disconnected from your child. That your attempts at childlike behavior are maudlin caricatures, sad caricatures indeed. Adults TRYING to be children. From where you stand, you can see that TRY does not enter the vocabulary of the natural child. BE, is the word which describes the experience. You understand through previous experience that all a child ever really does is play along with. There are no hard fast rules in childhood. At least none that the child recognizes. Everything is exciting. Everything is adventure. Everything, every moment, is new opportunity. This is because the child knows the magical essence of physical experience. The self within the child is still excited about the idea of being here. YIPPEE!!! And the overwhelming fascination with the raw experience of each moment completely outweighs any set of rules the rational mind might try to come up with.”
It was interesting because when I first read that section I almost lapsed back into remembering that I didn’t have a childhood, that mine was filled with pain and regret and things like that, but I stopped myself from finishing that thought because I realized that I’ve invested a lot of time over the years in recreating a much better, much happier childhood for myself and the little Mike that I still am. And the thought came to me that in creating this new childhood for myself, should I be surprised that my past now feels different to me?
Today I continued to read through different CC sessions in between waiting for web pages to load and things like that, and while I don’t know exactly how many times I’ve read these notes, they still bring forth new understandings for me. It’s almost like every time I read them there’s a thread that catches on a different word or phrase, causing me to stop and recognize this new understanding.
For example, one section that I read today was the following:
“What is your true choice? And how are you honoring it? How are you bringing it into form? Through your focused intention? And do you really believe that there is some action required in the physical, and if so, what is it? And if so, do it! Perhaps this helps you to more clearly understand the need or the use in the past in other belief structures and cultures for ritual, for the act of bringing forth through ceremony, for these represent and translate to the physical act with which you are so preoccupied. If all probabilities exist and if your beliefs and choices align you accordingly to various probabilities, then shall you not simply choose the probability you seek? Is this not right use of the rational mind? What other use would you put it to? Other than to dispute what you know, that is.
Call forth that which you seek. And acknowledge and consider it done upon this calling forth. It is simply a question of you stepping into this choice. How do you do this? You do it. You align with the knowing of yourself who tells you this truth and you accept no alternatives. You move literally into that life. So that your thoughts, your expectations, your projections, your feelings and your ideas all align with that life. If you believe that there is something more for you to do then you must discover what this more is and do it. Or you must change the belief. The choice is yours.
Whenever you find yourselves in discussion of how creation works, of how beliefs work, of progress or failure, of success in your venture, or impatience with waiting for success, you are in these moments actively living your beliefs. So you must look at these moments and decide what you are being told and what you are telling yourself. If you are saying, “There is some further requirement” then you are withholding the outcome until such time as you discover the further requirement and fulfill it. But it is all belief. It is no more real than any other belief. It is only your experience of events through these beliefs, which convinces you of their reality.
So you must decide. Does the experience make it REAL or is the experience an accurate reflection of an active belief? This will lead you to the question, “What is real?” What IS real? The rational mind will always supply the answer based on past experience. But we would caution you that this is NOT reality. This is your experience of reality through the filter of your belief system.”
The one sentence that really jumped out at me was ‘Does the experience make it REAL or is the experience an accurate reflection of an active belief?’ A couple of days ago I wrote about the CC writings and also a Seth quote saying that whatever I experience in my life is a reflection of the choices I’m making. Often the authors go on to talk about the ‘buffer of time’ and pre-paving the future and stuff like that, but for me, it’s important to forget about that and simply focus on the now. And in accepting that what I experience in the physical is a reflection of my beliefs, then the place to change my experience is to change my beliefs. So simple, and yet I can look back and think about my imagined reality and my physical reality as being separate, with the past of my physical reality providing the basis for my physical reality and my imagined reality continuing to be imagined. And so again, I’ve been expressing my beliefs. Here again I come to the place of understanding something for a long time but getting to a point where it makes sense, where I know it to be true. And so, what if it is that easy? What if my beliefs are the direct antecedents of my experiences? Beliefs are something I have a lot of experience with. That excites me. In the first paragraph of that section of the CC writings it asks, “If all probabilities exist and if your beliefs and choices align you accordingly to various probabilities, then shall you not simply choose the probability you seek? Is this not right use of the rational mind? What other use would you put it to? Other than to dispute what you know, that is.”
Okay, I’m going to leave this for now, but tomorrow’s Sunday so I’ll probably wander over to Starbucks and have a coffee and do some more writing. I’m going to end this here with two quotes, one from Seth and one from Abraham.
“You are learning to be co-creators. You are learning to be gods as you now understand the term. You are learning responsibility of any individualized consciousness. You are learning to handle the energy that is yourself for creative purposes.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 522.
So the big question is, “Well, do I just dump all those unwanted things and try to start fresh?” And we say, no. You just set the Tone, where you are, by looking for things to appreciate. And by setting your Tone in a very clear deliberate way, anything that doesn’t match it gravitates out of your experience, and anything that does match it gravitates into your experience. It is so much simpler than most of you are allowing yourself to believe. ~ Abraham-Hicks