Although Marcia and I have been keeping up pretty well with the disparate areas of our blog, there has been one section that hasn’t been given much attention: my ‘Mike’s Writings‘ section.  In fact, I haven’t posted anything here for over three months.  I mentioned this briefly [...]]]>

Hi Folks:

Although Marcia and I have been keeping up pretty well with the disparate areas of our blog, there has been one section that hasn’t been given much attention: my ‘Mike’s Writings‘ section.  In fact, I haven’t posted anything here for over three months.  I mentioned this briefly in an e-mail I sent recently to a friend, and that got me thinking about this area of our blog again.  Here’s a part of what I wrote:

“Anyway, I’ve also been doing a lot of my own writing.  It’s interesting, but I used to write solely for me – then I found myself sending out some of my writings to a select group of people – so a year ago I bought a laptop so I could type directly instead of writing everything out by hand first.  Then I put some of my writings on our blog… but it all became too public for me.  Earlier this year I read ‘Eat Pray Love’ and in that book she mentioned that she has a notebook just for her most private conversations, so I bought one and began writing in that while simultaneously doing some of my more public writing.  Then I gave that up and now I mostly just write for myself again, although I do read much of what I write to Marcia.  There’s a different feel to writing thoughts out by hand, although it definitely takes longer.  It feels more private, I think.”

Shortly after that I wrote the following in my journal, which further expanded on what I was experiencing.  I am going to share that section here, in its entirety…

“July 2, 2010
Hello, Michael:

Well, Canada Day has come and gone, and it’s been a great couple of days.  I’ve had a couple more major ‘aha’ moments recently, at least one of which is so basic and so obvious I’ve never seen it before.  In short, you could say I’ve learned my lesson.  Finally.  And what lesson would that be, you ask?  Well, I’ve learned my lesson about lessons.

Okay, no more being cryptic.  As I said, it’s a very basic, very core belief.  My whole life has been about lessons.  I don’t mean my whole school life; I mean literally my whole life.  It started back when I was little, with experiences that went like, “I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget!” or “Have you learned your lesson?”  When I was little there were times I wasn’t sure what the ‘lesson’ was supposed to be, I only knew and came to associate ‘learning my lesson’ as a way of avoiding pain.  As I grew older, I incorporated that basic idea into every aspect of my life and basically my life became all about learning.  I’ve known people who were honestly amazed when I didn’t know the answer to any question, on any subject, something I’ve never claimed.  And while a quest for knowledge can be a good thing, as I’ve written before I tend toward two things: opposites and extremes.  Seth once said that we tend to search out experiences that confirm our beliefs and avoid those that threaten them.  As regards ‘lessons’, that’s certainly true for me.  What I hadn’t realized until just the other day was the extent to which I’ve followed that.

One of my favourite Buddhist stories has always been the story about the two young monks and the cart of rice.  When they return to the temple and relate their stories to the Master of the temple, he turns to each of them in turn and asks, “What have you learned from this?”

One of the few quotes I’ve ever remembered from the Bible goes something like, “Each man shall, upon his death, make account of himself to God.”  In other words, “What have you learned?”

In general terms I’ve broken people down into teachers and students, recognizing at the same time that those roles reverse often enough.  I’ve learned from many and I’ve taught many in return.  P. once told me, “I think it’s really interesting when people feel a need to be teachers, because I think they really need the people.”  I don’t think many teachers see it that way.  For me, authority figures have largely been people who were ‘teachers’ in some way, and often those teachings were backed up by ‘enforcement’ for wrong answers.

For years I was involved romantically with women (a series of them) who were looking for something, and I’d help them find it.  Invariably once they found ‘it’ they realized that what they were looking for wasn’t me, and they’d move on.  There was a time when I would begin a new relationship wondering what it was I had to teach this woman before she left.  It wasn’t an ‘if’, but a ‘when’.  I always figured it was because I had a need to be able to give, and while that’s true it was only part of a larger issue.  Once I helped them find what they wanted, I had nothing more to teach them.  Learning was my truest meaning of value.  If I had nothing to share, I figured that to them I had no value.

See, this is where it becomes pathological, because the lesson became more important to me than the experience.  What I did, what I saw, heard or experienced became secondary to what I learned from the experience.  Lose the experience, forget the memory, but don’t lose the lesson.  For my whole life I’ve been driven to do more, to know more, to learn more, because if I stopped I wasn’t learning my lesson.  When I went to the Tracker School I learned a number of different skills, but none so important to me as greater awareness.  With awareness I was learning.  I became one who noticed things.  I was like ‘Johnny 5′, seeking “input”.  I taught myself to be able to focus on several different things at the same time, learning on multiple channels simultaneously.  When web browsers developed tabs I was in heaven.  Even now I usually have 3-5 or more tabs open at any given time.  Surfing the ‘net, I began collecting websites with good information until I had amassed over 14,000 bookmarks.  Some of them were important to me, numerous others I figured might be important to someone else, someday.  Being needed and learning/ teaching became more intertwined.  I also found myself pushing things forward to the future, when I would have more knowledge and a better ability to deal with them.  I came to avoid anything I couldn’t learn, couldn’t do well.

There were moments I stole away from this quest for learning, like when I was doing beadwork or leather work or other artisan-type work.  At those times I focused all of my attention on the task at hand.  It was like taking a vacation.

So, all of this fell open for me the other day in one of those flashes of insight.  I’ve been steering my life in a different direction, and as a result I’ve been developing new paradigms and old beliefs are being exposed like forgotten relics revealed by shifting sand.

There’s a corollary to this as well.  A little over twenty years ago I was talking to P. about some things and I said, “I understand these things are possible, but I don’t know how.”  She replied, “There is no how.  There just is.”  Ah… but learning to do something is all about the ‘how’.  Once you know how to do it the rest is practice, development.  Knowing how is like belonging to a secret club of those with the same knowledge.  Being told there is no how didn’t set well with me.  Since then, of course, everyone from Abraham to Tut have said to forget about the ‘cursed hows’, that the ‘hows’ are not our job, etc.  But to someone like me, being told to forget about how, that how wasn’t my job, etc. was a very different train of thought.  There was a ‘how’, and whether or not it was within my job description to know, I was going to find out.  For someone with a logical mind, how to do something is the key.

So, going back quite a number of years, I’ve endeavoured to discover the ‘how’ of reality creation.  Part of this was from my own driving quest for knowledge and part was from the belief  that once I knew ‘how’, it wouldn’t matter if my whole self or my inner self or anyone else wanted me to have something or not.  Once I knew how, I could do it myself.  From my memories of Lemuria I figured Marel and the others had such knowledge and my search was for teachers – physical or non – who would share this knowledge with me.  The things is, there is nothing more deafening than an answer you don’t want to hear.

So, with this latest revelation, what have I discovered?  There is no how, there just is.  Seth spoke of this also, I just didn’t want to hear it, because it meant there was nothing to learn.  Having nothing more to learn meant stopping, and that was worse than death.

What I understand from P. and Seth now is that there is no logical process, no linear series of steps to follow.  There is spontaneity and and order according to Seth, but there is no ‘how’.  The catalyst, the spark comes from desire, from intention – the why.  The what is whatever object or experience is desired.  The who has to be me.  Everything I experience is ‘me’.  The when and the where are here and now – the only possible options.  And the how?  Magic, pure and simple.  That’s what I’ve learned.  There will always be things I don’t know.  I also realize that by making the experience central, the learning is inherent.  I don’t need to sacrifice the experience to the lesson.  What I learn is a part of the experience.

Love,
Me.”

So… more has followed that of course, but that was what I wrote in my journal last week.  It also explains why this section of our blog has been so quiet these past few months.  Now, when our friend S. reached a place within herself where she felt she had gotten what she needed from her blogs, she removed from the ‘net everything she had posted.  I respect her decision, but I’m not going to do that.  Whether this section of our blog remains closed or not, however, is up to you.  According to our statistics we don’t get many people coming in here.  I still have a few hundred pages of notes typed into Word files, and if it’s important enough to you, I’ll post more if you ask.  Just leave me a comment and let me know.  I won’t be typing out anything more from my current journals.  If I don’t hear from anyone, I’ll simply leave this section open as an archive; I think there’s still some good information in here.

Love,
Mike.

Welcome back.  Well, I’m going to continue on with some more of my archived writings.  I did want to mention that these posts are (mostly) in chronological order, so if you want to read any particular post that’s certainly fine with [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  Well, I’m going to continue on with some more of my archived writings.  I did want to mention that these posts are (mostly) in chronological order, so if you want to read any particular post that’s certainly fine with me, but if you want to read all of them, you’d be best to read them in order from the original post on December 8, 2009 and work your way forward from there.  Entirely up to you of course!

Love,
Mike.

January 18, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s actually tomorrow already but I didn’t want to let the day go by without taking some time to acknowledge our 170^th Monthaversary!

Did some writing earlier, so let me go get it…

Well today Marcia and I celebrate our 170^th Monthaversary as a couple… only 430 more to reach 600, and that’s just the beginning!  To celebrate our Monthaversary we’ve come to our favourite Starbucks, and while there may be two of them and they may be in different cities, I can still feel her here with me.  When I brought my coffee to the table I almost sat in Marcia’s lap by mistake!!  Not that she’d mind, but it would make it hard to drink.  We may be sitting opposite each other but our boots are touching.  Marcia’s reading while I write.

The news I’ve received from Marcia recently has brought me to realize how much I’ve retreated inside myself these past few months, but that ends here.  Marcia walks in my soul and so I’m going to keep her with me, wherever I go!  Even as two, we’re One.  I can literally feel her beside me, so I’ll be there with her at the same time, loving, watching, protecting, and maybe stirring up just a LITTLE bit of mischief.  Hardly any, though – it’s so unlike me after all.

Yesterday and last night I was reading some of the CC writings and it came to me much more clearly that my life here is an expression of my beliefs.  I can change that, but I can use it for my benefit.  A lot of people seem to think that being for self is a bad thing, but really the best thing for me is the best thing for everyone else, and that applies to everyone.  Since all probabilities exist I choose the one that brings me the most happiness.  What else should I do with my life other than deny who and what I am?  I will do that no longer.  I embrace my beliefs and exercise with them the power to choose.  It’s so simple, so easy, and I’m glad I’m finally able to accept that.  When I valued myself only for my intellect, I had to make things difficult in order to justify my mind’s existence.  No more.  I am valued because I am me.

Two sections from last night’s writings still stick with me: “Does the experience make it REAL or is the experience an accurate reflection of an active belief?” and “If all probabilities exist and if your beliefs and choices align you accordingly to various probabilities, then shall you not simply choose the probability you seek? Is this not right use of the rational mind? What other use would you put it to? Other than to dispute what you know, that is.” Looking at that as a tangible step really intrigues me.  It’s a different way of looking at life, but it’s more empowering.  I’ve been dancing around these ideas for some time, but they won’t let me go or I won’t let them go, or both.  Simpler to simply accept them and work with them!  Also, today’s experience with Marcia helped me to look at the separations I’ve erected between this reality and ‘other’ realities or planes of existence.  I can walk in more than one at the same time, and it’s not as complicated as I thought it might be.  In the past I’ve mostly bounced around different probabilities when I was so tired I could hardly stay in this one, but maybe from a more awake state I can keep them all in order.  And if things bleed through, oh well!  People think I’m nuts anyway!

Okay, it’s 3:43 and I’m off to bed.

Love,
Me.

P.S.  I’ve encountered several Seth quotes that relate to this stuff.  No surprise there.  I’m going to add them in here:

“The inner ego …always identifies with its source-identity as a beloved, individualized portion of the universe. It is aware of the universal love that is its heritage.

“It is also aware of the infinite power and strength that composes the very fabric of its being. Through being made aware of these facts, the exterior ego can begin to feel a quicker sense of support and nourishment. The knowledge can let it relax, let go, so that it feels its life couched and safe, and know itself to be indeed a beloved child of the universe, both ancient and young at once, with an identity far beyond the annals of time.

“It is of great value, then, that each person remember this universal affiliation. Such a reminder can often allow the inner self to send needed messages of strength and love through various levels, appearing as inspiration, dreams, or simply bursts of feeling. The inner ego draws intent and continuous support from the universal consciousness, and the more the exterior ego keeps that fact in mind, the greater its own sense of stability, safety and self-esteem.” ~ The Way Toward Health, March 19, 1984.

“…The inner self knows its relationship with the soul. It is a portion of the self that acts, you might say, as a messenger between the soul and the present personality. You must also realize that while I use terms like soul or entity, inner self, and present personality, I do so only for the sake of convenience, for one is a part of the other; there is no point where one begins and another ends.” ~ Seth Speaks, Session 527.

“Many people ask, for example: ‘What is the purpose of my life?’ Meaning: ‘What am I meant to do?’ but the purpose of your life, and each life, is in its being. That being may include certain actions, but the acts themselves are only important in that they spring out of the essence of your life, which simply by being is bound to fulfill its purposes.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 1, session 899.

“While it is true that the body is the living materialization of ideas, it is also true that these ideas form an active, responsive alive body. The body is not just a tool to be used. It is not just a vehicle for the spirit. It is the spirit in flesh.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 630.

_____
January 19, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, Monday has come and gone and I’m going to bed earlier than I did last night.  However, I just wanted to add one quick note that I spent the day with Marcia again today and it’s been wonderful!  I’m going to snuggle into her again tonight and have the day with her again tomorrow.  I’ve also been playing with the idea of using my imagination as an actual tool, the basis from which to create my physical reality, and I like it a lot.  I do have a vivid imagination, and so I get to enjoy my desires as I imagine them, however often I imagine them, and again when I experience them physically. Different perspectives of the same thing.

Love,
Me.
_____
January 20, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Came across an interesting Seth quote today that reminded me of the healing work I’ve been doing…

“On a conscious level, and with your conscious reserves alone, you could not keep your body alive an hour. You would not know how to do it, for your life flows through you automatically and spontaneously. You take the details for granted – the breathing, the inner mechanisms of nourishment and elimination, the circulation, and the maintenance of your psychological continuity. All of that is taken care of for you in what I have termed as Framework 2.

“In that regard, certainly, everything works to your advantage. Indeed, often the more concerned you become with your body the less smoothly it functions. In the spontaneity of your body’s operation there is obviously a fine sense of order.” ~ The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, session 815.

Relax, let go, and Be Spirit… Hmmm…

Anyway, I have to get up in about six hours but I didn’t want to go to bed without making a few notes for the day.  It’s been a quiet day, but interesting nonetheless.  Anyway, I was reading today, but tired, so I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I did there was a page of text in front of me.  It wasn’t a ‘dream’, okay, time for a new vocabulary, because in a way it was, but I was still awake.  I opened my eyes again to go back to the book I was reading but finally thought, ‘what the hell’ and closed them again.  I could read the page quite clearly, although at the moment I have no conscious memory of what it said.  After reading for a while the text changed and became pictograms of a sort, but I could still make out what was being said.  I also know that somewhere in there I fell asleep, and so the shift to pictograms may have been from a change in state of consciousness.  I’ve been to all sorts of places in my visions, but I’ve never had anything like that before.  Intriguing!

Another interesting thing that happened today is that my image of the two cottonwoods was voted for the ‘Leader’s Choice Award’ from the Platinum Photography group on Flickr.  It was a welcome sight to see, but it also reminded me what is says in the CC writings:

“Proximity

It is the same paradox, this seeming impossible and yet totally illusory obstacle which makes the knowing of creation more definite and tangible on the one hand and more difficult to perceive in the “real” world on the other, the closer in proximity to it you become. For ask yourself what warning does the dawn give you before it arrives?

Creation IS, No Rational Basis, Absolute Freedom, Explanation and Understanding

For as we have said before, creation requires no precedent. Creation is. And so it is also that your rational mind will not impact the creation, once the creation is set. You cannot think away the sunrise. You cannot prevent it for one instant. This should be of some comfort to you.

This is also why we continue to say to you “Absolute freedom has no rational basis.” For as you try to ascertain a rational basis for the rising of the sun, we tell you there is none. This way when you seek rational basis, you seek an explanation. And an explanation is not what you need to be seeking. Understanding on the other hand is worthy of your time. Understanding evolves through observation and experience. It’s simply a matter of redirecting your curiosity. In this way the unknown becomes known to you. But not in a manner which provides an explanation. More simply, in a manner that provides understanding and acceptance of what is. For example: we would like you to give us an explanation of creation. Do you find this amusing? (“I find this impossible.”) Exactly. And yet you can observe this in operation all the time. This observation becomes linked to understanding and so you can forego the seeking of explanation. But you must cooperate with these tendencies. For if you struggle against them, seeing the creations and yet still seeking explanations, you will simply continue to circle the same small ground.”

Good things happen without warning and without precedent.   I like it!

And finally for tonight, when I was talking with Marcia this evening she asked me if anything had bopped me on the head because she had sent me an image of a sock fight.  I’m not sure what time that was, but there were two things that happened.  One was a small piece from a spruce tree that landed on my head, but the other one was early afternoon, when Pop came out of the laundry room carrying twelve pairs of my socks in his arms…  At the time I had a sense of ‘something’ more than just laundry, but I couldn’t place it exactly.

Okay, one more.  Both the Seth quote above and the CC writings here remind me of how much my conscious mind is ‘not’ in control of things that happen in my life.  There was a time not too many years ago when I would have found that threatening, but with where I am now, I find it intriguing instead.  A part of it is because I’ve expanded my sense of self, a part of it is because I’m more willing to trust in myself and in Source, and a part of it simply a shift in understanding.  All good, though.

Love,
Me.

P.S.  I’ve spent both yesterday and today with Marcia, wherever I am and whatever I’m doing, and I’m quite enjoying it!  More tonight, and tomorrow!!
_____
January 21, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s already 12:40 again, but I wanted to make a  quick note before tumbling off to bed…  Let’s see…  Oh yeah, something I forgot to mention last Sunday.  I walked down to the IGA to get some milk and as I was walking back I saw a woman sitting at one of the tables outside of Starbucks having a cigarette and drinking her IGA coffee!  I was going to ask to take her picture, but decided against it.

Okay, on with the show…

Something that came to me today was, “My life is a celebration of my beliefs.”  Now that really intrigued me when it popped into my mind for two reasons.  One is that it’s in line with my focus right now of using my beliefs as a basis or structure for creating my physical reality, but also because for so many years my main interest in my beliefs was in finding those that were negative or limiting and removing them.  My interaction with my beliefs therefore was primarily negative – something to identify and release, but I have positive, expansive, uplifting beliefs too.  And so I like the phraseology of that sentence.  My life is a celebration of my beliefs.  Fits in nicely with both of those observations!

Something else that came to me today as I was leaving the library is that the Lotto 6/49 for tonight was up to $33M, and while that’s grand, it’s now up to $43M for Saturday.  Anyway, what came to me was that when I was involved with the process of setting intentions, buying lottery tickets and losing every week, my focus was on purchasing the ‘right’ ticket, buying ‘that’ ticket, and then putting time and energy into making sure that the ticket I had was the one that would be drawn.  In this reality, it wasn’t, but today I thought that the process is backward, from a conscious creation perspective.  From a conscious creation perspective I would decide to win the lottery, and send out a rocket of desire for that, as Abraham would say.  I would then leave it up to those aspects of my Self who are responsible for reality creation, and I’d relax, let go, and Be Spirit.  And at the right time, at the right place, I’d get an impulse to buy a lottery ticket, and it would be the ‘right’ one.  I wouldn’t have to worry about it, just trust in the process.  Hmmm…  I found an Abraham quote about that:

“If you have the ability to desire it, the Universe has the ability to deliver it. You’ve just got to line up with what you want, which means—be as happy as you can be as often as you can be there, and let everything else take care of itself.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

And the last note for tonight is that for the past three days and nights, I’ve been spending my time with Marcia.  Not every second, but whenever I think of her I bring her here and/or I go there and we sit and read together, we walk together hand in hand, we talk, etc.  It’s been wonderful, and it’s had some unexpected results because I’ve felt connections with Marcia that go beyond the ‘imagined’ and well into the tangible.  That’s not surprising, but it is intriguing to me because it adds another dimension to our relationship.  It’s not something that has to stop once we’re reunited, either.  In fact, I think the more we do this the more we’re going to open doors into other avenues of our psyches, our selves that we haven’t previously accessed to any great degree.  Two things come from that.  One is that I remember getting instructions to do this sort of thing way back.  We did make a start, but we didn’t have much success and gave it up.  What’s different now is that I don’t have a specific time or place for our encounters – sometimes they surprise me – and I’m not ‘transmitting’ anything specific.  It’s just a natural event.  The other is that for a long time I used to argue with myself about physical vs. non-physical experiences, explaining to my self in great detail that while non-physical imaginings of things was all well and good, it didn’t really mean anything until I experienced it in the physical.  A part of that was because I had so clearly separated the physical and non-physical aspects of my life, but the other part was that since I was convinced that some other aspect of my self was responsible for creating my reality, then I had to suggest, beg, plead, cajole, using any available means, to get my self to recognize what it was ‘I’ wanted.  And when something unexpected came up, even something positive, too often I felt that what I had received was a substitution to what I desired and that meant that what I really wanted was not going to come.  These experiences with Marcia however are not a substitution for physical experience, though.  If anything, they’re an addition, a new layer of experience that can coexist quite comfortably with the others.  I like it!

Love,
Me.

“Options and alternate models for selfhood and civilizations exist in a psychic pattern of probabilities from which we can choose to actualize an entirely new life system.” ~ Psychic Politics, The Codicils.

_____
Jan 22, 2009
Hello, Michael:

This is what I wrote earlier today…

Well, it’s Thursday and I’m at the Café Coffee once again.  Biscotti won out over comfy chairs, at least for today.  I’m rather tired today, so if I was too comfortable I might be asleep!

A few things to write about today.  Something that came to me on the bus ride down was to re-evaluate what I was told recently about “Relax, let go and Be Spirit.”  I finished reading Arthur C. Clarke’s book “2010: odyssey two” today, and although I’ve not read the first book, the basic premise is that there is an alien race that values only the mind and as they spread throughout the universe, over millennia they abandoned their organic forms for bodies of steel and plastic, finally outgrowing those to become pure awareness.  Along that line, for many years my own interest was solely toward developing my mind, and my body was almost an afterthought.  I recognized my face when I looked in a mirror and I accepted the perceived limitations of my physical form but my interests were primarily intellectual.  The thought occurred to me today that in being frightened away from my own body as a young child, I was reluctant to return.  Of course that presupposes the concept of the body as a shell, a housing for the mind.  At first blush it might seem that the suggestion to Be Spirit encourages that, but I don’t think so… not anymore.  Rather, I see that phrase as an encouragement to accept All of myself, to see my body as Spirit rather than simply a container for it.  Seth makes the same suggestions, talking about the body as being the Spirit expressed in flesh.  When I saw my body as a limited physical form then I can understand my own reluctance at the time to embrace my ‘limited’ form.  It would seem the joke’s on me, though, because all that has changed is my perception of myself – an acknowledgement of my own form as infinite.  Not only is my body an infinite being but every cell in my body is also infinite.  I remember back to a channeling session where I was told, “The one is many and the many are one.”  New understandings of oft-remembered words.

Finally, for now, a quick note.  Today is the fourth day Marcia and I have spent together; she’s reading now while I write, and our feet are touching under the table.  She’s always here with me when I imagine her presence, or myself there, but what’s pleasantly surprising is when she shows up unbidden so to speak.  Without announcing her arrival she’ll suddenly lay her hand on mine or sneak up behind me and give me a hug.  Sometimes she’ll merge so completely with me that we become two sharing one space.  I love these moments, but as with the animals in the circle I had imagined when they invited me to join them, I am reminded that the reality of this goes beyond what I have set in place.

I had something else to add, but it’s 2:11 and I’m off to bed.  Maybe I’ll think of it tomorrow.

Love,
Me.
_____
January 23, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, I just came across this quote, and since it’s most appropriate, I thought I’d lead off with it:

“The most rejuvenating idea of all, and the greatest step to any true illumination, is the realization that your exterior life springs from the invisible world of your reality through your conscious thoughts and beliefs, for then you realize the power of your individuality and identity. You are immediately presented with choices. You can no longer see yourself as a victim of circumstances. Yet the conscious mind arose precisely to open up choices, to free you from a one-road experience, to let you use your creativity to form diversified, varied comprehensions.

“Let us make a clear distinction here: Your conscious beliefs direct the flow of unconscious processes which bring your ideas into physical reality, so while your thoughts cause your experience, you are not consciously aware of how this takes place.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 640.

Alrighty then!

I went to the library for a while today, followed by a trip to the local Starbucks for a coffee and some writing.  Here’s what I came up with…  (Did I mention I was there for an hour and a half?)

Well, Friday is here once again, and I have a few things to write about today.  I had a quick glance at Session 44 of the CC writings this morning and in there it talked about allowing the inner self to have more complete, clearer access to the conscious mind.  That gave me something to think about, and I’ve been playing with that idea today.  One thing that came out of it was a thought that brought me back again to things I already know, but from a slightly different perspective.  For example, we’re often told to envision our desires, but at the same time to not give thought to how or when they will manifest – what Tut calls the ‘cursed hows’.  Old news, but it’s one aspect of reality creation that’s always bothered me.  However, as has been happening more and more, I find myself releasing and often reversing ideas I once held.  Going back to the time when I felt my inner self was working against me, my solution to that perceived reality was that if my inner self wasn’t going to help ‘me’, I would damn well do it myself.  And so I set about learning how to do so, and that journey has brought me here.  I’m no longer in a place of believing that my inner self is working against me, but I’ve not quite yet convinced myself that it’s working ‘for’ me either.  Still a holdover from the ideas of separation.  Okay, so let’s do away with that.  Let’s assume a universe based on loving cooperation, which is where I’m heading even if I sometimes drag my feet along the way.  What was it the CC writings said about oppression being precious?

Okay, knowing that I am my inner self and that there’s no separation between my outer self, inner self and whole self, then how do things change?  Well, it also says in the CC writings that my conscious mind is capable of knowing everything known by my inner self, although I’d have to add that doing so requires an expansion of the concepts held by my conscious mind.  Release too much at once and my conscious mind can feel overwhelmed.  And as I thought that I realized that I’ve been protecting my conscious mind from my inner self.  There’s still a basic lack of trust there.  Holy cow…  My mind has been my most precious resource and some part of me has thought it too big a gamble to risk – literally ‘losing my mind’.  That’s why I’ve always said I could never be hypnotized and why I’ve not yet ever been successful at trance channeling work – doing so would mean giving up control of my mind, my most precious resource.  Wow.  It reminds me of what Seth said:

“You may finally come to a half-understanding of the nature of reality and wail, ‘I believe that I have caused these ill effects, but I find myself unable to reverse them.’

“If this is the case, then regardless of what you have told yourself thus far, you still do not believe that you are the creator of your own experience. As soon as you recognize this fact you can begin at once to alter those conditions that cause you dismay or dissatisfaction.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 609.

It also makes more sense to me now why I would be attracted to those sections in the CC writings about being defenseless and giving up protection, having a disregard of fear…  There’s also a section in the CC writings that says that since the process is to discover these things, there’s no point in beating myself up for not already knowing them.  My body was ravaged by others before I was able to do anything about it and my retreat, my safety became the inner reaches of my mind.  I have given up my heart, to Marcia for example, but not this core of my Being, not even to myself.  So what does it feel like to open this door and be gently held?  Wow.

Okay, I got off on a tangent there, but I’m back.  I was writing about the hows and whens and looking at it from the perspective that it’s not that my conscious mind can’t know the answers, but that my conscious mind isn’t responsible for these things.  There are other aspects of my self who are responsible for these, and my conscious mind can relax and let go, trusting in the knowledge that these other aspects of myself are ‘Me’, and that these events will be brought about in perfect time.  And here I come back again to the idea that the best my conscious mind can do is to allow the perfection of this, and the worst my conscious mind can do is hinder but not prevent the eventual manifestation of what I’ve asked for.

Okay, I’m going to jump back to that other tangent for a moment.  I was thinking yesterday about my reality and my frustration that in the past I’ve gotten to the point of almost trying to force my desired reality into existence, and I thought, “I know how I would respond to someone trying to force me to do something, even if it was purportedly ‘for my own good’, so how could I expect my reality, this mirror of myself to behave differently?”

As I mentioned yesterday, I finished reading ‘2010: odyssey two’ the other day, and while I haven’t read the first book, I have seen the movie and the book and the movie were produced concurrently.  One of the main characters in both books is ‘HAL’, an advanced computer that is capable of rational thought.  In the first book a conflict between HAL and the astronauts leads causes HAL to kill the entire crew save one, and he bypasses things and renders HAL inoperative by pulling out his circuit boards.  The second book begins as a ‘rescue mission’ to reclaim the ship, HAL and the data and find out what happened.  Among the crew of the second mission is Dr. Chandra, a Hindu man who was HAL’s creator and who relates to HAL better than he does to most humans.  HAL is rebuilt but the crew don’t trust him and so a switch is installed surreptitiously that will allow them to take over if HAL goes ballistic again.  At the end of the book there are complications that require coupling the two ships together temporarily and using the fuel from the first ship to propel the second one home.  It also means abandoning HAL again for an undetermined amount of time.  Dr. Chandra is in favour of explaining the entire situation to HAL but the rest of the crew is unconvinced.  HAL questions the idea and the process even as he is counting down, but at T+15 seconds HAL complies with Dr. Chandra’s repeated requests and fires the rockets.  Only after they are successfully underway does Dr. Chandra admit that he had discovered and dismantled the kill switch several weeks before.

And if that doesn’t parallel my conscious mind and my inner self, nothing does!  It’s been impossible for me to batter down these inner reaches of my conscious mind, but by continuing to choose trust and acceptance, these doors are gently opening.  Reminds me of the Wild Divine games.

Funny, a thought came to me that if my body was as conflicted as my mind I’d be in horrible shape!  OTOH, I do have certain conflicts in my body that I can still gently release.  Thinking about this ‘hidden fortress’ in my mind, I’ve realized that that aspect of my mind was willing to give up anything and everything else in order to protect itself.  Even my greatest desires were held at bay because receiving them meant giving up that protection in return.

The relationship is still fragile, tenuous, but I can feel my mind slowly opening and my inner self gently entering and lovingly holding all that was once protected.  Another new beginning.  It reminds me of what Rob wrote about Jane’s ‘sinful self’:

[Rob’s note:] “We had a hard time believing him when Seth told us the very next evening, on April 23 [1981], that Jane’s sinful self thinks her physical symptoms are necessary ‘for the personality’s own good’; that that self has no conception that its policies have become self-defeating; that, following Catholic and non-Catholic Christianity, it believes that suffering is good for the soul; that the idea of the flesh itself being graced is, to it, blasphemous.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, p. 421.

Now obviously I’m not dealing with a ‘sinful’ self in the same way, but many similarities exist, like holding myself apart from good because the trade-off was considered to valuable to proceed.  I couldn’t see that my own policies had become self-defeating either.  There’s also a section in the CC writings about integrity… let me see if I can find it:

“You are acting now in your highest integrity because you have stripped away a substantial amount of the fear which undermines integrity’s every move. But one in fear for his or her survival will necessarily compromise integrity almost without question, almost without notice. It is only by being willing to step outside of the game of survival through the loss of the fear of death and a loss of the fear of consequences according to the rational mind’s perspective that integrity can have room to expand to its fullest potential. So through this process integrity grows, becomes stronger, more stable. It is this growth of the integrity, this expanded sense of the self within its rightness of being which allows you to access these higher levels of creative power.

Upon reviewing this idea, it should be quite clear and almost obvious to you that this is how it must operate. For without this natural correlation between the expansion of the integrity and the access to creative power, self-destruction becomes far too predictable.

Yes. It is only through this process of the expansion of the natural integrity of the self through the release of fear that true growth and understanding are possible. It is through this process that the self becomes aligned to its true nature. And without this process, the separation not only from the natural integrity but in all areas where the self is out of alignment with its true nature, quite literally, and directly, disconnects the self from its creative power.

Within your physical expression, however, it is possible to operate at lower levels of this alignment of self through the manipulation of physical time and space. That is to say, it is quite possible to survive, to live, so long as you live within the narrow confines and rules of the physical existence as understood through the rational mind and ego consciousness. However, it is not possible to step outside of this frame of operation without alignment of the self, to the self. If you will consider this entire session as one piece of understanding you will see that it is complete within itself and offers you a reflection of the understanding which you have come to, in your own way, at this point.”

There’s more to that section but the first paragraph especially says a lot.

I just looked over the rest of my notes for today and right now none of them seem very important.  Maybe they were just stepping stones to get me here.  Knowing, really knowing that All That I Am supports my choices goes beyond thinking about it and involves feeling it as well.  I wonder if anyone else has considered the Yin/Yang symbol to be about feelings and thoughts, intuition and intellect.  Perfect balance, and too much of one becomes the other.  Today I celebrate following my own path, and knowing this is the right path for me.  Trust is also something that is allowed and can’t be forced.  My life is a celebration of my beliefs.

Okay, that’s what I wrote this afternoon, but I’m going to add two more notes here.  The first is a quick memory of a dream.  As I was walking back here through the strata I noticed some feathers on the grass, and it reminded me of a dream I had of being a house cat.  I was almost all black, with very dark eyes, but a bit of white on my chin and throat and chest.  Nothing much other than that, other than being a cat and doing what cats do!

That’s all I have at the moment.  However it’s 12:58, so maybe I’ll see about going to bed ‘early’ tonight!

Love,
Me.

P.S.  Finished proof-reading this section and I wanted to add that of course my inner self has approached this previously protected area of my self with gentleness and caution – that’s exactly how ‘I’ would do it!  I’m not planning on a tombstone, but if I had one it should probably read, “Here lies a man who asked for what he wanted and was always surprised when it showed up!”
_____

Welcome back.  I’ve recently received several more ‘Future Me‘ posts from last year, so I’m going to continue on from my last writings post…

Love, Mike. _____ January 6, 2009 Hello, Michael:

Well, after last night’s writing [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  I’ve recently received several more ‘Future Me‘ posts from last year, so I’m going to continue on from my last writings post…

Love,
Mike.
_____
January 6, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, after last night’s writing and the dreamwork, it’s been an interesting day.  I woke up this morning with several thoughts on my mind…

One is that I have the intuitive knowledge I need to create in this new manner.  The old ways don’t seem to work for me.  My conscious mind is a participant but not the director in this process.  I’m learning a new way of being that integrates more of my self into common action.  I took a look at the CC writings tonight and came across session #40.  I’m adding in the text here because it applies to what I’ve written above, and also leads me with some pertinent questions:

“When Times Get Tough, Walking the Dream, The Life-Long Career of Observing Thoughts

These are trying times. It seems to you that you are at the limits of your endurance. You are at the limits, but we would say it is not of your endurance. It is when you approach these limits, these peripheral edges of knowing, when you take the greatest risks and achieve the greatest expansion. It is also when your fear is the greatest. And when you find it the most difficult to trust. Is this not so? You are right in understanding the acceptance and the examination of the now moment and all that it contains, recognizing how in its way it is individual and different from all other now moments preceding it.

You can see if you look at these patterns that again the rational mind is up to the trick of convincing you that all this experience is the same. That each day is essentially the same day repeated, and yet when you look at this with your full awareness it is clear to you that this idea is absolutely ludicrous. You have veritable lifetimes in a 12-hour span while other people have nothing but a repetition of death. It is no wonder it makes you tired to be around them. So don’t be around them. You have made your choices – now accept them. It is not so terrible as you think.

Recognize how the energy that you project comes directly back to you. Do you not see this in the events of the day? You have given yourselves opportunities to validate the choices you have made. When you ignore the opportunity, then the self will repeat the question . . . is this the choice you made? And each time the question grows louder, but only in so much as you are clear about the fact that you desire to make the new choice, and then refuse to validate it. So you must ask yourself clearly and honestly, “Do I believe that it is as simple as I can have what I choose? And if I do believe this, why are there things in my life that I say I do not choose?” It is a wonderful paradox.

For indeed the answer must be that whatever is in your life, is what you have chosen. We can see you do not like this answer. And yet we ask you to explain to us how you can make it different. Accept the belief. Within your framework of reference this is very much like saying, “I choose to walk on water and so I do.” The rational mind has a warehouse full of all the reasons why this cannot be so. And yet you know quite clearly that it IS so. We suggest you burn the warehouse. It is fairly simple to do. Simply remind yourselves again of the nature of creation. The nature of love. And the nature of reality. And then you choose to allow the magical to operate in such a way as to free your rational mind from all of these unnecessary concerns. Remember that it is the illusion of cause and effect . . . it is the illusion of results based on the rational approach . . . Remember that these are not the bedrock of reality, but merely the rational mind’s way of explaining what it does not understand. So long as you must enslave yourselves to this understanding you enslave yourselves to limitation.

Walk the dream. Use the processes we have given you. When you find yourself asking in your mind how will this happen or when you find yourself observing the part of you that believes it can’t happen, use the processes we have given you. Uproot that which you do not want and replace it with your new choice. When we suggest to you to watch your thoughts, we do not mean for a day. And yet we are also not saying to you do not live your lives. We are suggesting to you that with practice this becomes a new way of living. For are you not seeking to remain within the expanded state of your awareness through the present now moment that is your life? Now, we will caution you not to berate yourselves for those moments when you fail to achieve this new goal. For this is certainly counterproductive. It is like meditation. If you argue with the mind for losing its focus aren’t you leaving the focus even further behind? And so you breathe, recall the focus, retrain to the focus, and move on.

There is so much that you have recognized as unnecessary to your experience. To that extent, you can say to yourself that it was the purpose of the recognition that brought the event to your experience. As opposed to asking the question, “Why did I create this?” It is very simple to tell when you have brought forth such an experience for the purpose of recognition and release – it feels like shit. (laughter) You do not covet your shit (more laughter) you let it go. So when this feeling appears in your experience, rather than seeking out some cause within yourself, simply look at the experience which is producing this feeling and recognize it. It is very simple. This is shit! Do not attach it to the self. Let it go.

Think of it this way: within the larger world of your physical reality, there is a great deal of shit. Have you not seen it? In any place where, as your esteemed teacher Emmanuel has already pointed out to you, fear is the master, you can be expected to find great piles of shit. (laughter) This does not mean that it is your job to go around and own them all. It DOES mean it is your job to recognize when they walk into your experience and open the door wide and show them the exit. We would like to be very clear here. We are not saying that there are not beliefs that you may choose to change, replace or let go of as you grow. We are saying that as you accomplish this task, those around you who are less willing to examine their own motivations will bring you their shit, quite happily, in great hope that you will take it from them, make them right and help them to continue to avoid the self that is their own. This is not open license – you will know. You have had very specific demonstrations – take them to heart. It does not require a judgement against the person, it requires discernment and a willingness to be done with shit. Again this is why the processes we have offered you are not for temporary use only.

Clarity of Intention, Trust the Knowing

We suggest to you that you consider your understanding of intention and allow yourselves to know the truth of this process. The intention is great. The intention is clear. And in those areas where it is not clear it becomes clear. And so the task before you now is to trust the intention, to trust the creative power of the intention. To replace ALL thoughts of doubt or uncertainty or rational explanation for what can or cannot be, with the knowing of the intention. Can you see this? Excellent. Do not be concerned about the details which are not yet relevant, but be clear in the clarity of the intention. For it is true that in this way, all of your goals are accomplished. And it is also true that in this time, you have come to this place through your own willingness to observe all of the self without fear of judgment. It is your lack of defensiveness, it is your lack of the need for pretense or to protect yourselves from knowing the self that brings you to this place. Do not attempt to look outside of the self, particularly at any others, for any kind of understanding in this process. For there are no others in your direct experience at this time who have been this willing. Do not filter your intent through the ideas of the rational mind.

That is to say, do not allow yourself to dilute the clarity of your intention with the false mechanisms and reasoning of the rational mind’s approach. Go back to your understanding of creation and intention instead. If you will carry this process in the front of your mind throughout your experience of the now moment in your days, you will greatly accelerate all of your processes. We also wish to remind you that as you are doing this, you are to stand firmly and safely in your own trust. Do not make this the new taskmaster but use it instead to allow yourself to be where you are and accept that intention is carrying you easily to your desired goal.”

So, what are my choices?  How am I validating them?  What is my understanding of intention?  What is the scope of intention and what power does it have?  Some good questions to ask.  Maybe in the dream state.

Love,
Me.

“You were born with an in-built recognition of your own goodness. You were born with an inner recognition of your rightness in the universe. You were born with a desire to fulfill your abilities, to move and act in the world. Those assumptions are the basis of what I will call natural law.

“You are born loving. You are born compassionate. You are born curious about yourself and your world. Those attributes also belong to natural law. You are born knowing that you possess a unique, intimate sense of being that is itself, and that seeks its own fulfillment and the fulfillment of others. You are born seeking the actualization of the ideal. You are born seeking to add value to the quality of life, to add characteristics, energies, abilities to life that only you can individually contribute to the world, and to attain state of being that is uniquely yours, while adding to the value fulfillment of the world.” ~ The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, session 862.

_____
January 8, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, I have two quotes to start with here, one from Seth and one from Abraham that in their own way, tie together and also fit with some of the stuff I’ve been writing lately.  No big surprise there.

[Rob’s note:] “We had a hard time believing him when Seth told us the very next evening, on April 23 [1981], that Jane’s sinful self thinks her physical symptoms are necessary ‘for the personality’s own good’; that that self has no conception that its policies have become self-defeating; that, following Catholic and non-Catholic Christianity, it believes that suffering is good for the soul; that the idea of the flesh itself being graced is, to it, blasphemous.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, p. 421.

We would like you to release the word “achieve” or “earn” from your vocabulary and from your understanding, altogether, and we would like you to replace those words with the word “allow”. You’re wanting to allow your Well-being, not achieve it. It’s not something that you need to earn. All you have to do is decide what it is you would like to experience, and then allow it in order to achieve it. It isn’t something you have to struggle for or try for. You are all worthy beings. You are deserving of this Well-being. ~ Abraham-Hicks

Alrighty then.  This is what I wrote this afternoon:

Well, it’s Thursday, the Café Coffee is open, and they have Nonni’s Biscotti.  All is right with the world.  Not only that but I got a free bus ride downtown, and I got to sit in the top front seat!  And when I got to the café I got the biscotti for $1.75 instead of the $2.25 it said on the sign because $2.25 is just too much.  So there!  They’re still renovating the café but it looks like it will be about twice the size when it’s done.  They have a baby grand piano there that plays itself!

Anyway, I have some ideas of thing to write about on the computer but it’s not here so I’ll just see what comes.  One of the notes I have on the computer is from the CC writings and it’s a question from session 40, which asks, “So you must ask yourself clearly and honestly, “Do I believe that it is as simple as I can have what I choose?” That brings me back to the power of intention again.  My rational mind can understand physical action because movement creates a tangible effect, something directly related to the action.  But intention is something I haven’t seen as providing concrete results, and yet I’m well aware of the fact that it has happened.  And I’m learning to trust it but so far it hasn’t seemed reliable – not a 100% thing.  Still, it may be simply a case of practice makes perfect… Had a thought there, but it’s gone.  Oh yeah, I was thinking that I’ve written before about my fear that as I grow and change that my world would shift in ways I hadn’t considered and I might get so far down that road I wouldn’t be able to go back again.  The next stage was accepting that my world and my perception of it will change, but wherever I am in the moment will always seem normal to me.  Well, the thought that came to me today is that because I’m growing and changing my world has to shift as well, but this is actually a good thing because it opens me up to even more growth and awareness.  If Columbus had never sailed beyond view of the shore, he never would have landed in Honduras.   Whether or not that was a good thing is debatable, but anyway. And so I’m now in a place of anticipating new discoveries, and not expecting them to match old patterns.  Knowing that I am safe, that the world in which I live is safe, I am free to seek new discoveries, new Ways of Being.  As I wrote the other day, the old Ways no longer work for me.  Time to let them go and embrace what I am becoming.  This is the result of what I’ve asked for after all, and changes to my physical world are mirrors of changes that are going on within my own psyche.  Therefore as I change and grow, my world must change and grow to reflect that.

Something else from my notes on the computer is a thought that came to me yesterday.  Some of my most recent readings from the CC stuff is that challenges can often be worked out best in the dream state, and so I’ve been making more concrete intentions pre-sleep for the past few days.  What came to me yesterday was, “This life is a waking dream.”  One of the things I ‘know’, but being reminded of them can often bring new perceptions.  Because it got me thinking about my imagined realities, and how easily everything happens there.  In my imagination I can do or be or have anything I want, just by thinking about it.  And here’s where we get to, “Of course!  But that’s just my imagination.”  Uh huh.  And so that brings me to the next logical question, which asks what my beliefs are about this reality – keeping in mind Seth’s counsel that, “Everything you consider to be an aspect of reality is a belief about reality that you hold.”  Or as Richard Bach would say, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”  So, I’ve been giving some careful thought to that, because I have built up layer upon layer of belief over the years about the rules and restrictions and governance surrounding physical reality.  And now I want to set a match to all of them and simply see what’s possible!  Here’s another Seth quote:

“All personal contact with the multidimensional God, all legitimate moments of mystic consciousness, will always have a unifying effect. They will not, therefore, isolate the individual involved, but instead will enlarge his perceptions until he will experience the reality and uniqueness of as many other aspects of reality of which he is capable.

“He will feel, therefore, less isolated and less set apart. He will not regard himself as being above others because of the experience. On the contrary he will be swept along in a gestalt of comprehension in which he realizes his own oneness with All-That-Is.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 561.

So that’s where I’m at with that.  Seeing, no, understanding intention as a direct cause or force, yielding direct results.  Understanding my own interplay between this and other realities.  Hmmm… I just had a thought pop into my head about a vision I had some years ago.  I’ve written about it before, but in this vision I was looking at different aspects – love, wisdom, health, etc. and they were all children and all playing together in a park – all except money.  Money was sitting alone in a corner by itself, largely because my beliefs about money had separated it from all of the other aspects of my life.  When I realized that I expanded my views and money was invited into the group, by the end of the vision they were all playing together and changing into each other.

Well, I’ve created the same division between physical and non-physical.  I have many non-physical aspects and realities, and they’re all lined up on one side, and on the other side we have physical reality, all by itself.  Not very fair, and not very accurate, either, especially since I’ve piled up all of these laws and rules and restrictions concerning physical reality, but said that they don’t apply to other levels of reality.  Hmmm…  What if it is as simple as I can have what I choose?

Okay, let’s see here…

Another thing I came across from the CC writings the other day that’s given me something to think about is the following (emphasis mine).

“It’s about extending the boundaries, not setting them in place. If you insist on setting the boundaries in place around the work we have already accomplished then you have missed the point entirely. For the work has just begun. You have chosen the job of expanding the work, not conforming to it. So naturally you use all of the tools available to you within the work. Believing despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc.

But you know instinctively and intuitively that it’s your job to go beyond, otherwise you become lowly apostles, followers, and essentially, blind sheep. Blind sheep. Leading more blind sheep. And what is the good of this? It accomplishes nothing.”

It’s that one sentence, “Believing despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc.” that’s gotten me thinking.  And the reason I’ve been going over that sentence is that while I can understand that idea at the beginning of a desire, at what point does it become self-fulfilling?  What I mean is, if you follow through the process of setting your intention and believing in it despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc. then at some point one must assume that things will change, there will be physical evidence and the desire will be fulfilled.  Otherwise, is it possible to keep on believing that one must believe despite evidence and so never experience the evidence?  In other words, to go on believing and never have the desire fulfilled?  Maybe it’s my tendency to take things too literally, but it gave me something to think about.  Again, though, intention is the answer.  If my intention is to see my desire fulfilled, then I can accept that my desire has been fulfilled in the moment of asking without any evidence to support that.  However, if my intention is different, perhaps to work on believing in the possibility of having the desire achieved despite any evidence, then I could end up walking a very long path indeed.

And finally, I had a look at session 43 from the CC writings tonight.  I’m going to add them in here:

Rejecting That Which You DON’T Choose, Healing Comes Through the Self

Again, it is necessary for you to be willing to reject that which you do not choose. And while this may be a painful lesson for some, any compromise is your undoing. For compromise suggests a lack of trust and faith in the self. And you are quite correct in assuming that all healing must come through the self. And while it may be reflected nicely in another, the healing must happen within YOU. For the healing of another, while it makes you “feel good” ultimately does nothing to serve your own higher purposes. That is, unless you take this healing to heart and so begin your own work. It is highly distorted to think that you will heal through another person. For you cannot. Just as you cannot be born or die for another person. And yet through honoring the self and healing the self, you create the ingredients and the example of what is possible. This is the extent of the gift you are able to offer to each other. Do not be fooled into thinking that you can or that you SHOULD attempt to take on one another’s burdens. For this is merely a rearrangement of what none of you want. When you own what is yours clearly and definitely, and with a lovingness to the self, then there are no discrepancies. There is no guilt. There is no blame. And there are no veiled repartees.

Fear will tell you that you cannot do this alone. It will distort even the most holy of ideas to convince you that there is some savior, some lover, some perfect One outside of the self who is required for your redemption. This is a lie. It is the redemption of the self that is required. And you may take as long as you wish to come to this decision. But you will not truly be free until you meet this choice and choose for yourself. So you must choose. Are you evil? Are you sinful? Is fear your master? Are you its slave? Or are you Love? Are you Love in all its unpredictable, spontaneous, wholly original and outrageous glory? Love that allows, love that allows each of you to discover for yourselves who you are, what values you hold high, what is acceptable to you, and what is not?

Love is not a slave to fear. Love can look fear in the eye and call it what it is. And love leaves no room for blame or guilt or reasonable doubt. Love says, HERE I AM. And you say, “You weren’t supposed to look like that.” So who is incorrect? Who is uninformed? We would suggest to you that whenever there is a question in your mind about the motivations for your actions, or your words, that you are not in Love. Any act made in fear towards another will bring you what you send. This is not a reflection of love or love’s weakness. This is a reflection of you. For love, no matter how loving, cannot reach you and even in its most high and glorious way, you will distort it.

If you will follow this little circle which we have now shown you, you will see how the healing of the self, by the self, and through the self, is the only path which can bring you to that which you seek. There is nothing wrong with this. It is inherent in the design of who you are. For how can you truly go through life knowing that you carry within you the essence of god and acting as if fear were your master and expect to experience the love you seek? You cannot.

Honoring Your Path, Course Corrections

There is a rightness and dedication to higher principles at work here. For each of you, there is a path, a path which will be honored and ring true within the self. In each moment, your challenge will be to honor that path which is yours. And to release and reject that which is not. In the days to come, if you will follow this as the guidance to bring you to the true joy of knowing and living a loving life, then you cannot fail. And in each moment, when you slip, when you honor what is less than the self, when you succumb to fear, when you believe in what is NOT true, and what brings you less than that which you seek, you will bring yourself again to the place of choice. We urge you that in these times, you reset your course promptly and faithfully. Do not waste time reviewing the fault, the error of your judgment, or the rational justifications for your actions away from the self’s desire. Instead, correct your course. Review, forgive, move on. The more efficient at this you become, the easier your task will be.

Of course you are free to argue with us. You are free to hold fast to an opinion that does not serve you. You are free to lose love completely in order to remain “in the right”, “in control”, and “beyond reproach.” But these will be hollow victories indeed. For having known love, you know better. And so we encourage you to be gentle with yourselves, and ruthless in your practices of self-love, and diligence. If you are unclear on a thing, if you are uncertain of your feelings, stop. Take the time, for time is all you have. Get clear. Then move into action. We are quite sure that now we have quite upset the teacart and given you all plenty to think about. Consider carefully, for the decisions you make now will carry forward into your lives and bring you precisely what you choose. The basic concepts, building blocks, are all about/around you.”

I added this in here for two reasons.  One, it ties in with what I wrote before about trying to ‘save’ others.  I have to let that go too.  The other reason is more elusive, harder to pin down, and not really known by anyone but me.  And that is that when I’m with others, I tend to revert to a shadow.  It’s not nearly as obvious as it used to be, when I would refuse to sit in someone’s house, preferring to stand by the door, on the edge of everything.  I’ve come a long way since then.  But even in my relationship with Marcia, I’ve always tended to retreat to the background when we’re together.  Marcia is so open, so loving, right there with a friendly smile for people, that even when I introduced her to my friends, I let her take the forefront.  Now let me be clear with myself here about this: this isn’t about resentment or recrimination, and it’s certainly not blaming Marcia for anything.  I love her because she is who she is.  She makes me feel welcome when I’m around her too and I would never want to change that.  This leads back to the belief I wrote about the other day about other people being more important than I am, and therefore putting myself automatically at the back.  This is all about me, and my choices.  Because it’s been my choice to put myself down, to hold myself back, to put myself automatically in second place.  I’ve been working with this issue for a long time now and I am much, much better than I used to be, but still, with what I wrote the other day I was surprised how much I’ve still allowed that belief to operate in my life.  Seeing myself as whole doesn’t negate anyone else.  I can be equal.  It’s interesting, if I think back about it, that the basis for this choice actually results in part from a backlash to being considered special.  When I was younger I was always the class ‘brain’, and that set me apart from the other kids in class.  It’s been like that back to grade 1.  But I didn’t want to be different or separated from everyone else, and so in my own mind I decided to reverse that idea and to hold myself back, just so I’d be about even.  Funny how things like that can grow.  And fester!  Hmmm…  Anyway, as suggested at the beginning of this section of the CC writings, my first responsibility is to heal myself, and to honour my own choices.  I can begin by stopping the idea of comparing myself to others, and to stop having a first place, second place, etc.  And I can just be me, and be all that I am.  And if my light shines exceptionally bright, then let that be an example as to what’s possible for others.  Not that I have to guide them on that path, but that they can know it’s there and find it.  I like that.  It ties in with what I’ve been writing about with regard to being a fully aware, strong, powerful multidimensional spiritual being.  My healing has already begun.  It began a long time ago.  Let it continue now, unhindered.

Okay, it’s 2:22 a.m. so I should probably think about turning in!

Love,
Me.
_____
January 9, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s already 12:34 a.m. so I’m going to keep this short for today.  I only really have one note to add in today, but it’s an important one.  I am healing myself.  It’s been a long time coming, and I’ve made starts over the years, but I’m finally there.  I am healing myself.  For so many years I was afraid of myself, afraid of my own power, afraid of what I was capable of… I’m not afraid anymore.  I can’t put into words the feelings that this generates in me – excitement mostly, but there’s an almost overwhelming sense of Wow that goes with it too!  I think that’s the biggest change for me recently – I’m no longer afraid of my own power, no longer afraid of what I can do with my own abilities and those I am still achieving.  Promises to be an exciting time!  What if it is as simple as I can have what I want…

Love,
Me.

“Consciousness, by its nature, continually expands. The nature of consciousness, as you understand it as a species will, in one way or another, lead you beyond your limited ideas of reality, for your experience will set challenges that cannot be solved within your current framework. Those problems set by one level of consciousness will automatically cause breakthroughs into other areas of conscious activity, where solutions can be found.” ~ The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. 1, session 697.

_____
January 17, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s been an interesting week or so since I last sat down to type anything out.  I think I’m going to go through my notes first and then see where I go from there.

January 11

Well I had a good day today.  Watched Gilmore Girls on TV this morning for the first time in forever, and it was a great episode – where Emily gets arrested for DUI and Christopher takes Lauralai to a drive-in theatre for two, projected on a barn wall.  That was such a great show.  Also had a mango this morning, which was very tasty!  And then I went out to the Grand 10 and watched ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’.  A good movie, well done, and it gave me some things to think about.

I have a few short notes here that I’ll try to make some sense of.  The first is about my teeth, and I got to thinking that since my teeth have always been so irregular, my focus with regard to my teeth has always been about finding those imperfections, spaces, holes, etc. and getting in and around them to get the food out and keep them clean, and that obsession probably explains in large part all of the holes I have in my teeth right now.  However, every moment is a new beginning and so I’ve decided to obsess about having healthy teeth instead!

The next thought I had was about an Abraham term, ‘pre-paving’, and while I understand the concept, pre-paving to me seemed like I was always pushing my good out in front of me.  It’s one thing to imagine and focus on what I desire without any physical evidence of its existence, but at some point it has to show up in the physical or the exercise is pointless.  More on that later.  Yesterday afternoon I slept for two solid hours, and when I awoke I was aware that I had been doing some solid work.  I’m playing with developing more conscious awareness of my dream state, and playing with both sides.  While rest need not be oblivion to the conscious mind, it’s also okay for me to turn my mind off from time to time.  In the end I am lowering the boundaries between this and other realities, and that’s a very good thing.  I’m imagining my reality in my own way.  My way may be different from other people, but that’s okay, and in the end, others are me and I am them.

Finally, it IS that easy.

January 13

Well, I’ve had several thoughts today focused around the idea that my life reflects my choices and that has brought up questions of why I’m Living here where I am.

One thing that came to memory today was back to 1996.  The Ontario government was cutting back all over the place and nobody’s job was really secure, but at the time I was looking forward to it because I felt that leaving the MNR was a sign from the Universe or whatever that new doorways were being opened up for me.  And when that didn’t happen – at least in any way close to what I was expecting, I felt rejected.  It’s funny, almost all of the work I’ve done since then has been trades work or physical work, whereas before I was using mostly my mind…

And in thinking about all of this stuff I realized that it means nothing.  It never did, but my belief that it did is what created the experiences I had.  Funny, I used to believe that my beliefs were almost independent of me and that they ruled my life, and in so doing I trapped myself into the ultimate Catch-22.  I’m so glad I shifted out of that.  It reminds me of the CC quote about being in a room and slowly realizing that the walls no longer exist.  Hang on, let me go find it.

“Now take a moment and consider that a conscious awareness resides within a room. In this sense, we are suggesting an imaginary conscious awareness made up of a group of beings and an imaginary room. And consider the idea that some within the group begin to perceive that the room exists only so long as they believe in it. And so these individuals begin to move much more freely in the larger arena of All That Is. The other individuals comprising the group of awarenesses, in the beginning, may or may not perceive these changes in the individuals who are no longer contained by the room. Over time, as more and more individuals see beyond this imaginary boundary, the boundary becomes less “real” so that eventually those individuals who have not yet explored or perceived the nonexistence of the room, find themselves looking out and seeing beyond the boundaries of the room, quite accidentally. Some of them will argue that it is their natural state to remain within the room. This argument is akin to those ideas which say it is your natural place to unconsciously play out roles in this human drama without comprehension of your own creative will and power.

Now, in your experience, we would say that by virtue of the number of individuals exploring not only the nature of the boundary of the room itself, but also all that is outside of the room, in the larger arena, that you are presently in a situation with a large number of beings standing in a room which they agree exists despite mounting evidence in their own perception to the contrary. In some ways, this is why the idea of total reorientation seems large and yet small. It is huge from the perspective of outer perception powerlessness, beings as victims, and yet the distance one travels (as you have witnessed yourself) to arrive in the new territory is not so great. This is because the new territory is literally rising to meet you. It is also interesting to note that at some point the territory is here, so that from the perspective of the beings in the room, the room has suddenly dissolved and the only way to retain the illusion is to actively create it yourself. This is your future.”

And that brings me back to the power of choice – my choices, and how what I choose creates the environment and experiences of my life.  I’ve been slowly doing a 180 from what my beliefs used to be a few years ago – and were for a long time.  I am an infinite being, a conscious co-creator of my life.  I am healing myself and healing myself includes healing my relationships with others.  Better to see them as being fully aware, strong, powerful multidimensional spiritual beings – for my benefit if for nobody else.  And so when I see people get to arguing I just retreat and say to myself, ‘I know you!  You’re infinite beings!’ And then it’s hard to keep from laughing.

I saw ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ on Sunday and it was well done.  I can understand how Peter related it to ‘Forrest Gump’.  Marcia mentioned that it left her in a blue funk, and if I really think about it, the one thing that really impacted me from the movie was a feeling of regret over never being a father.  I’ve been a dad, a big brother, a friend, a confidant, a mentor and probably every other role of a father.  I’ve raised children from infants to adulthood, and I’ve been a father in every way except the pregnancy and birth part, the sense of connection that comes from being a father.  And that’s never really mattered to me before, but somehow watching that movie I felt a sense of loss from it.  Strange.

I was at Value Village today to get a pair of jeans and came across ‘The Blue Girl’ by Charles deLint.  I was in the clothes and had an impulse to check out the book section and just kept looking for ‘something’.  Then I thought I should find a Charles deLint book, and I did!  Nice creation, Michael!

January 15

Well, it’s Thursday again and I’m at the Café Coffee, which is being slowly transformed into the Green Room Bistro.  To that end they’ve removed the comfy chairs and the lounge atmosphere and added more cafeteria style tables and chairs.  I might have to go back to Blenz, but they do have great biscotti here.

I read Session 10 of the CC writings last night and it got me back to thinking about my old buzzword, trust.  I’ve written a lot about trust in the past, but never from the perspective where I find myself now – a place of healing.  I’ve written before that trust is the hardest thing in the world for me to do, but I recognize now that’s not true.  As with everything, to trust is a choice.  Trust can be the easiest thing in the world.  I could write that I have many examples from my past where trust was violated or I was let down or whatever and while each of these examples may be true, I can also say that each of them flowed synchronistically from where I was within myself at the time and who I believed myself to be. Connected to the idea of trust, for me, has also been the idea of ‘not questioning’ and that brings up its own set of issues and questions, all of which can be dealt with in the same way.  I used to believe that letting go and not questioning – trusting in the process – meant that I had to accept whatever happened and give up the idea of getting what I want.  However, at the time I also believed that some other aspect of my self, someone ‘not me’ was in charge of deciding my experiences, and I raged against that level of control, even if it didn’t really exist.  Since then I have expanded my sense of self to the point where ‘me’ is more than I’ve previously understood myself to be, and so the one who makes decisions about my life is ‘Me’.  At the beginning of Session 10 there’s a paragraph about synchronicity, but it goes on to say that for many people things like synchronicity are limited to a few areas of life where the mind is most comfortable.  From the CC writings:

Synchronicities and Limitation, Fears Associated with Becoming Conscious Creators, Trusting Yourself

Minor demonstrations which you give names such as synchronicity, coincidence etc., allow you to see how creation operates in your system. However, if you examine these events and demonstrations and the beliefs and lives of the people who experience them you will see that they largely fall into certain accepted areas of their experience. This is again a demonstration of the outer perspective’s influence. You will notice that this area is very narrow and that the vast majority of acceptable experience falls under the direct control of the rational mind. You have locked yourself into a square box and you have given the rational mind the task of endlessly measuring and re-measuring its dimensions, and this is done without ever recognizing that the entire experience: the box, the measuring tools, the measurements themselves, are your creation. And so the task has been: How to help you dismantle the box. We would suggest that it was a task worthy of the effort. Worthy of the fear. Worthy of yourselves. And you have faithfully identified many of the structures, and recognize them as you set them aside. Fear of non-conformity, fear of irresponsibility, fear of lunacy, fear of your own trustworthiness, fear that your own discernment was not up to the task, fear of self delusion, fear of consequences. There are more. Fear that you were wrong and that you are not divine. Fear that perhaps after all you really were not worthy. And the one tool that has moved you beyond all these fears is trust. And this trust is not in some outside deity, but in yourselves, in the nature of what is, and in creation. Because you understood that trust outside of yourself could not take you, the only answer was to trust yourself. And finally you came to a place where trusting yourself separated you from the very beings you had looked to when you started down the path. And in that moment you became free. (Scratches forehead and smiles) There was never a requirement that you make judgements, for or against. There was only a requirement that you use your own power of discernment to know the truth about yourselves. The beauty of this truth is that it sets free everyone in your experience. By knowing freedom yourselves, by trusting yourselves, you release all of creation. There is no middle road. And you knew this when you began. Now apply this knowing to every single one of your questions about what IS and what WILL BE and you will have no more questions. Indeed the questions themselves will become your markers for old forms of thoughts. And as they arise, you will laugh and set them aside. And in these moments the new creation will surge into your being and everything you are creating will be revealed in perfection. Now perhaps you understand the gift we have given you. The gift you have given yourselves today. Those who have guided you can no longer take you. For now you will take them. And the brilliance of your path will amaze and astound them.

Funny thing is, I can see that operating in my own life.  I used to think the answer was to stretch my understandings of my conscious mind beyond what is comfortable to get myself to grow, but maybe the answer is to simply expand the extent where I do feel comfortable.  There’s something in the CC writings about that, too.

January 17

Okay, I’m back.

For several months now I’ve been playing with the phrase ‘Relax and let go’, and that’s evolved from ‘Relax and let go and let the current carry you’ to ‘Relax and let go and let Spirit carry you’.  But this morning I woke up with a different thought: “Relax and let go and Be Spirit.”  Subtle difference, but an important one.

Last night I was reading some of the CC writings again and I got to the one section entitled, ‘Trying to Explain and Being the Child’.  Here’s the first part of that section:

“Trying to Explain and Being the Child

It is not explainable. As soon as we begin to explain, you move back into analytical thought. Explanations, even the word tells you it’s not the right direction. So, how to convey this, this unbearable lightness of being. This child in you knows it is very good to reconnect in this way, through the child. It also presents the challenge that most of you have so disconnected from your child. That your attempts at childlike behavior are maudlin caricatures, sad caricatures indeed. Adults TRYING to be children. From where you stand, you can see that TRY does not enter the vocabulary of the natural child. BE, is the word which describes the experience. You understand through previous experience that all a child ever really does is play along with. There are no hard fast rules in childhood. At least none that the child recognizes. Everything is exciting. Everything is adventure. Everything, every moment, is new opportunity. This is because the child knows the magical essence of physical experience. The self within the child is still excited about the idea of being here. YIPPEE!!! And the overwhelming fascination with the raw experience of each moment completely outweighs any set of rules the rational mind might try to come up with.”

It was interesting because when I first read that section I almost lapsed back into remembering that I didn’t have a childhood, that mine was filled with pain and regret and things like that, but I stopped myself from finishing that thought because I realized that I’ve invested a lot of time over the years in recreating a much better, much happier childhood for myself and the little Mike that I still am.  And the thought came to me that in creating this new childhood for myself, should I be surprised that my past now feels different to me?

Today I continued to read through different CC sessions in between waiting for web pages to load and things like that, and while I don’t know exactly how many times I’ve read these notes, they still bring forth new understandings for me.  It’s almost like every time I read them there’s a thread that catches on a different word or phrase, causing me to stop and recognize this new understanding.

For example, one section that I read today was the following:

“What is your true choice? And how are you honoring it? How are you bringing it into form? Through your focused intention? And do you really believe that there is some action required in the physical, and if so, what is it? And if so, do it! Perhaps this helps you to more clearly understand the need or the use in the past in other belief structures and cultures for ritual, for the act of bringing forth through ceremony, for these represent and translate to the physical act with which you are so preoccupied. If all probabilities exist and if your beliefs and choices align you accordingly to various probabilities, then shall you not simply choose the probability you seek? Is this not right use of the rational mind? What other use would you put it to? Other than to dispute what you know, that is.

Call forth that which you seek. And acknowledge and consider it done upon this calling forth. It is simply a question of you stepping into this choice. How do you do this? You do it. You align with the knowing of yourself who tells you this truth and you accept no alternatives. You move literally into that life. So that your thoughts, your expectations, your projections, your feelings and your ideas all align with that life. If you believe that there is something more for you to do then you must discover what this more is and do it. Or you must change the belief. The choice is yours.

Whenever you find yourselves in discussion of how creation works, of how beliefs work, of progress or failure, of success in your venture, or impatience with waiting for success, you are in these moments actively living your beliefs. So you must look at these moments and decide what you are being told and what you are telling yourself. If you are saying, “There is some further requirement” then you are withholding the outcome until such time as you discover the further requirement and fulfill it. But it is all belief. It is no more real than any other belief. It is only your experience of events through these beliefs, which convinces you of their reality.

So you must decide. Does the experience make it REAL or is the experience an accurate reflection of an active belief? This will lead you to the question, “What is real?” What IS real? The rational mind will always supply the answer based on past experience. But we would caution you that this is NOT reality. This is your experience of reality through the filter of your belief system.”

The one sentence that really jumped out at me was ‘Does the experience make it REAL or is the experience an accurate reflection of an active belief?’ A couple of days ago I wrote about the CC writings and also a Seth quote saying that whatever I experience in my life is a reflection of the choices I’m making.  Often the authors go on to talk about the ‘buffer of time’ and pre-paving the future and stuff like that, but for me, it’s important to forget about that and simply focus on the now.  And in accepting that what I experience in the physical is a reflection of my beliefs, then the place to change my experience is to change my beliefs.  So simple, and yet I can look back and think about my imagined reality and my physical reality as being separate, with the past of my physical reality providing the basis for my physical reality and my imagined reality continuing to be imagined.  And so again, I’ve been expressing my beliefs.  Here again I come to the place of understanding something for a long time but getting to a point where it makes sense, where I know it to be true.  And so, what if it is that easy?  What if my beliefs are the direct antecedents of my experiences?  Beliefs are something I have a lot of experience with.  That excites me.  In the first paragraph of that section of the CC writings it asks, “If all probabilities exist and if your beliefs and choices align you accordingly to various probabilities, then shall you not simply choose the probability you seek? Is this not right use of the rational mind? What other use would you put it to? Other than to dispute what you know, that is.”

Okay, I’m going to leave this for now, but tomorrow’s Sunday so I’ll probably wander over to Starbucks and have a coffee and do some more writing.  I’m going to end this here with two quotes, one from Seth and one from Abraham.

Love,
Me.

“You are learning to be co-creators. You are learning to be gods as you now understand the term. You are learning responsibility of any individualized consciousness. You are learning to handle the energy that is yourself for creative purposes.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 522.

So the big question is, “Well, do I just dump all those unwanted things and try to start fresh?” And we say, no. You just set the Tone, where you are, by looking for things to appreciate. And by setting your Tone in a very clear deliberate way, anything that doesn’t match it gravitates out of your experience, and anything that does match it gravitates into your experience. It is so much simpler than most of you are allowing yourself to believe. ~ Abraham-Hicks
_____

Continuing on from my last Writings post…

December 20, 2008 Hello, Michael:

A little Abraham to get me started:

“In your action, you lose sight of the vision, you lose sight of your trust in the process, [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Continuing on from my last Writings post…

December 20, 2008
Hello, Michael:

A little Abraham to get me started:

“In your action, you lose sight of the vision, you lose sight of your trust in the process, and you just bang around in a sense of futility. Hold the vision and trust that the Universe will acclimate to your vision. Hold the vision and trust the process.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Well, we’re nearing the winter solstice – traditionally marking the transition from death to life as the days stop getting shorter and start getting longer again.  And that’s entirely appropriate for me as I transition from whom I used to be to whom I am becoming, and most of all, who I am now.  Been thinking today about being open to allowing more and what that entails, and no matter which path I follow I always end up at choice.  Interesting… So, since the choice is mine, I’m choosing to be all I can be.  I thought for a moment about a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly and what the caterpillar thinks about that.  Of course the caterpillar and the butterfly are the same animal, but the caterpillar must give up itself to become the butterfly.  It could be said that the caterpillar’s body necessitates this process as the body literally starts dissolving itself, but let’s assume for a moment that the caterpillar goes forth willingly, and this is a process of acceptance and cooperation.  As I stand at the brink of my own transformation, I find these thoughts going through my head as I’m giving up what I’ve believed myself to be in order to become what I can be.  It’s scary and exciting at the same time.  I’m reminded of the phrase, “They are not fools who surrender that which they cannot keep to gain that which they cannot lose.”  In the past I’ve thought of that quote in terms of the physical and non-physical, but  how about looking at it from the perspective of beliefs, instead?  That which we cannot keep is limiting beliefs, and that which we cannot lose is our unlimited being.  My perspective is that at death we surrender our sense of limitation so why not do it now?  Surrender that is.  Choices, choices, choices…  It’s interesting to look at life as a pretend game, where the roles aren’t set in advance but made up as the game goes along.  And it’s my conscious self who has to decide, like Jumping Mouse, to stay with the old man mouse or to keep going because I hear this roaring in my ears.  It still seems strange to me to look at spiritual growth as something to look forward to, to be excited about, rather than simply looking at things I have to give up in order to proceed.  I’ve crossed over to the other side it seems.  And that’s a good thing.

Love,
Me.
_____
December 21, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, I’m at Starbucks after mailing off some Christmas cards and Marcia’s presents.  I have a Christmas card for the folks here as well, the last one out of the box I bought last week.  Sent off cards to Marcia’s family and our family and my family – Carolyn and Jen too!

So, the past few days I’ve been exploring my infinity and being in joy and things like that, and the farther I go along this path the more I’m getting into it.  As I wrote yesterday, I’ve shifted from looking at spiritual development as a process of removing negative and/or limiting beliefs to one where I’m now looking at spiritual development as a progression, a growing, a building or adding-on.  In terms of renovation I’ve reached the point where I’ve finished demolition and I am now in the process of construction.  That even sounds ‘constructive!’  One thing that used to concern me was – and this sounds silly on the surface but isn’t – the idea that when I reached the point where I had nothing more to worry about, then my mind would run out of things to do.  As I said, it sounds silly on the surface but my mind and the workings of my mind have been very important to me.  What I’m finding instead is that my mind is simply adapting to the new conditions and finding more positive things to think about.  I’m feeling more in the flow, and as a result of that my mind no longer feels it necessary to be constantly haranguing at problems.  Tom Brown says that when living in the woods one only needs to work about 3 hours a day, as opposed to the constant stress city people find themselves in.  I think that’s a good metaphor.  Relax, let go, and let Spirit carry me.  Intention is the rudder that steers rather than propelling the boat.

Actually, that brought for an idea or two that I haven’t considered before.  I’ve written about having my canoe in the stream, and paddling to augment the flow of the current – to make things flow faster as it were.  But, what if the current is already flowing faster than I can paddle?  I’ve never considered that before.  When I think about being in the stream and being carried by the current I’ve always tended to think of a nice leisurely flow, meandering along.  But what if that thought is essentially putting the brakes on a process that is naturally much faster?  What if my perceptions that the process must be slow have kept it slow?  Instant manifestation is possible.  I’ve seen it.  But I’m dealing with an experience of Creation that is so vast as to be beyond what I’ve yet to even imagine.  And so, given the immensity of this, why should it take time – as in a long time?  In ‘Illusions’ Richard Bach wrote, “The greatest mistake is to limit the Is.  Don’t.” It’s like I’ve tried to squeeze the infinity of this down into a size where it was understandable to me, rather than expand my sense of self enough to encompass it.  That’s what I’m involved with now.  I am an infinite being, and I’m expanding my understanding of myself to acknowledge and understand that.

The second thing that came to me from the idea of paddling was the idea that all the ego can ‘do’ is hinder the process.  I remember being out in the canoe on the lake with Autumn and Jesse, and they both wanted to help paddle.  We would have made much better progress if they hadn’t!  Anyway, I’ve been playing with that thought for a long time but what came to me is that the process itself is perfect in its own way and so the best I can do is to be a part of that perfection and the worst I can do is to step away from that perfection.  It’s not that involvement by the ego is necessarily hindering, because by acknowledging and working with the flow the ego steps into its own perfection.

Okay, there was one other thing I was going to include, but it’s eluding me at the moment.  Must be time for a break. . .

Actually, one thing that just came to mind is that my awareness of other realities has been increasing again.  Yesterday I was addressing envelopes and I kept jumping away into different realities, and every one was bright and vivid.  I kept coming back to this reality, and then I’d be gone again.  Actually, it’s interesting to think that when I went ‘away’ it seemed it was always to different places, but when I came back it was always to ‘here’.  But is that really true?  Or is it just that this ‘seems’ to be my waking consciousness because it feels right, it makes sense and I have memories here?  At the same time, whenever I’ve found myself in another reality it never felt like it was ‘Me’ somewhere else, displaced, but rather who I am ‘there’ makes as much to me as this reality does.  Another aspect of my learning – these ‘jumps’ will be encountered after death, and as Seth said, we are as dead now as we ever will be.

Love,
Me.
_____
December 22, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s coming up to 1:00 again so I’m going to be brief, as I have to take mom shopping tomorrow.  I just wanted to add a couple of quick notes in here.  The first is that in reading about different cameras, reviews, benefits, deterrents, etc. I’ve sometimes wondered which would be the best way to go – Canon, Nikon, Sony, etc.  What came to me today is that they are all perfect in their own way; what I need to do is make a choice and accept that whatever choice I make is best for me, at least for now.  I can always change my mind later.  The second thought is that I keep coming up against Chapter 41 in the CC writings, which talk, among other things, about aligning the self to the self.  And what came to me this evening about this is in surrendering my idea of who and what I am.  I know I’ve written about this recently, but I had more of a clear picture of getting beyond the idea of ‘Me’ as being my conscious mind/ ego as separate from my Self, and to start seeing myself as my Self.  Seth says that the ego spends most of its time looking outward, but that doesn’t mean that my ego is limited in terms of what I can do, what I can be or where my focus is.  Aligning myself to myself means expanding my awareness of who and what I am, giving up self-imposed restrictions and being infinite.  I have a sort of mental picture of this, but the words aren’t really coming.  Must be time for bed.

Love,
Me.
_____
December 28, 2008
Hello, Michael:

A little Seth to get me started – a quote I hadn’t come across before:

“Change flexibly with the gracious dance of all being that is reflected in the universe of the body and mind. This does not include crucifixion of the ego.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 639.

Okay, here’s what I wrote this afternoon:

Well, Christmas has come and gone again, and other than that Pop and I were both sick, it was a quiet time.  I had no presents to unwrap, but Marcia sweetly bought me a license for Lightroom 2.2, which was certainly unexpected!

I’m at the Willow Park Starbucks once again, the temperature has risen considerably over last weekend and the sun is coming through the front window, warming my back as I write.  Before I go any further I wanted to add a note that I set my coffee down at the table and went to get a napkin, and when I returned the foam around the edges of my cup had arranged a perfect heart shape ♥ in the center.  I was tempted to get the camera out but it only lasted a few seconds.  Still, it was there in the perfect moment for me to see it. (Editor’s note: When I talked with Marcia this evening, she was in the Starbucks in Victoria when it happened.  I knew it was from her – just like the rainbow in Stratford).  Funny, I was thinking today about memories, and while I certainly have memories going back to my childhood, if I reach for a memory at random it probably has Marcia in it.  It’s like there was a previous life before she existed.

I was out walking today for the first time in several days… it felt good to be out and about.  As I was walking I came across a car stuck in the snow, with one kid driving and one kid trying (unsuccessfully) to push it out.  I dropped my backpack and got behind the car and together we shoved the car out and up the hill and out, but the interesting thing was that when I got behind the car I felt like I could lift it if I wanted to.  It wasn’t an adrenaline-filled sudden rush of energy sort of thing, just that I recognized in that moment that the car was insubstantial, like I could create the scene any way I wanted.  I’ve had a lot of time lately to work on understanding my creative abilities, and this was one more example of spontaneous events that illustrate that.  Another thing I’ve noticed recently – on Sundays the local paper has a colour comics section and at the bottom of the page they have one of those ‘Magic Eye’ puzzles.  I’ve been able to see those in the past but usually it takes a few minutes of quiet concentration.  Well, these past few weeks they’ve simply ‘popped’ into place almost immediately.  It seems I can shift brainwave patterns much more easily now.  All I do is shift my focus and relax my vision a little and it just forms before my eyes.  I like it!

Something that came to me the other day was that while I’ve thought of Lemuria as being in the distant past I’ve also considered that it might be in the distant future – no matter – but what if Marcia and I and those like us who are seeking increased conscious awareness are the pioneers of what will become Lemuria?  What if I am, in a sense, growing now into the Marel I will someday become – although he also lives in his own ‘now’?  Seth said once that Jane would someday become Seth, but that she would be a different Seth than he is.  Hmmm…

Last night I was thinking about creation, and I got to thinking that in the past my interest was in learning and understanding how to create my reality, with the idea that once I knew how I’d be able to create my reality as I want it to be.  But as I was thinking about that I had a sudden thought about when Marcia and I first showed up at the t’ai chi centre in Newmarket, and right then and there learned the first few moves.  In the beginning I felt like an elephant in ballet slippers, but the movements became more fluid, more refined, more natural.  With my first driving lesson the instructor and I got in, I turned the key, and we headed out onto the road, no practicing in the parking lot first.  Granted he did have his own brake pedal, but at times I’m sure that was small consolation!  And it got me thinking, we learn to do by doing.  We learn to think by thinking, walk by walking, sing by singing, calculate by calculating, observe by observing and dance by dancing.  Life is not a spectator sport!  And sometimes you get embarrassed in front of Master Moy, but you learn and go back the next day and he congratulates you gruffly and walks away.  I think ‘Much better. Good’ was the most he ever said to me directly.  And so I learn to be a conscious co-creator by consciously co-creating.  I acknowledge my successes by noting intentions that appear in my life, and let go of the events that were ‘invited’ but not desired.  And I continue on, learning, being aware, waking up to myself.

The other day I read a section of the CC writings that talked about focused thought and focused action vs. hard work, and that makes sense to me.  I’ll have to go and find it…

“Recognize that movement into more spontaneous living, that dedication to the principle of following your impulses is a highly creative act in itself. For it recreates your life experience and in doing so, gives you the opportunity to make significant changes in your belief systems, your attitudes, (particularly about the self) and your thought processes. By allowing yourself the opportunity to experience the self in these larger and larger unrestricted ways, you develop a repertoire, a knowingness, which has previously been unavailable to you. It is out of this knowing that the new creations can be born.

By relaxing your grip on reality as you know it you provide room for new and expanded experiences. Ultimately the steps that you take will provide you with everything you need and all you must do is acknowledge your observations along the way. It is by changing your reference or point of focus, by giving more credence to your intuitive and impulsive events that you empower the self, to bolder and bolder creations. Remember in this process that the antithesis of hard work in the old culturally acceptable sense is gentleness with the self. And it is this gentleness that you seek. Hard work and highly focused motivated action are not necessarily the same thing. Highly focused motivated thought, for that matter. The further you travel along this path of self-exploration, self-acceptance, and expanded awareness, the more these distinctions will become clear to you. And the easier it will be to set about intentionally, consciously creating your experience.

Remember as you move through the process that all of your experience is your creation, so that any event, moment, experience, etc., can be a tool to your greater understanding, when you begin to unlock the puzzle of the psychological structure behind the creation.”

Highly focused motivated action.  That’s the phrase I was looking for.  Moving the car today was focused action, but it felt easy, as if I could lift the car if I wanted to…

In session 21 of the CC writings they talked about energy combining into form, and I’ve had to read this section over several times to make sense of it.  Here’s the section:

“Again it is a separation from the outer perspective which assigns all physical results, physical cause and action. That is to say, no physical result is ALLOWED within the outer perspective one-line consciousness, without some correlating physical cause or action. While you on the other hand perceive directly the inner creation and creative force while perceiving a lack of movement in the physical. It is precisely in these moments, in these pauses, in these calms, that the greatest power is released because the self is integrating in new ways and creation is taking form.”

When I first read this I read it as nothing being allowed to happen in physical reality without a physical cause and effect principle coming into place, and while I could argue that point I was prepared to accept it to begin with.  But subsequent readings changed my perceptions of this section.  To me now it says that if I perceive my reality from an outer perspective one-line consciousness, a separated self, then from that perspective I can only view creation from a cause and effect perspective.  I remember back a few years to an event I wanted to create for example, and I used to imagine in my head the entire sequence of events that needed to take place for this to happen.  However, as I go farther along in integrating my self and my understandings of my self, then I’m able to understand creation from a much broader perspective.  And that got me thinking about explaining these things to others and I realized I don’t have to.  Others will find their own answers, based on what they’re willing to accept and believe.

Something that came to me the other day is that I’ve been shifting from living in a world where someone else – business leaders, politicians, religious leaders, etc. make the rules and everyone else abides by them, to understanding a world where everyone makes their own reality – including me, and the full significance of that is something to wrap one’s head around!  I found a Seth quote (of course!) that connect to this.

“Value fulfillment means that each individual, each entity, of whatever nature, spontaneously, automatically seeks those conditions that are suited to its own fulfillment, and to the fulfillment of others.

In the most basic of terms, no one’s fulfillment {can} be achieved at the expense of another’s. Fulfillment does not happen that way. Your very lives seek the best direction for fulfillment. Our work seeks it own best direction for fulfillment.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, session 922.

Last night I came across a Seth quote that I’ve seen before but which ties in directly with what I’ve been working on lately.  Here’s the quote…  Okay, I can’t find it, but I know it was from NOPR and the quote was simple: “There are no boundaries or separations to the self.”  I’ve come from a place of breaking down and dividing up every aspect of my life and Being to try to understand myself but I’ve realized that the whole truly is more than the sum of the parts and I’ve been looking at myself more in that regard.  It’s more than just accepting that my conscious mind/ ego is more than I’ve believed it to be, and gets into looking at my Self in a way I haven’t fully defined for myself yet.  But for example, I used to think that I have a physical body – now I’m looking at my body as ‘Me’, expressed physically.  My conscious mind is ‘Me’ expressed as thought and emotion, primarily but not entirely focused in this reality, and so on.  In the CC writings they talked about intuitive knowledge, and that intrigues me too.  In short, I am more than I ‘think’ I am and I know more than I ‘think’ I know.

“And in those places where you are uncertain or unclear as to the details of how, for example, you affect changes in physical reality, extend your knowing and explore new information, explore new ideas, and extend an acceptance that you do know intuitively the way in which the processes work and this intuitive knowing will lead you not only to successful creation and manipulation of physical matter but to conscious awareness in a more direct fashion of how it is achieved. It is not so difficult a process to ask yourself where you are headed and to discern the implications. Ask yourself where you are in the moment and acknowledge the implications. For where you wish to go is in direct relationship to where you are and so it is not hidden from you, just as the nature of where you are is not hidden from you.”

And finally, for now, I’ve been using these ideas and Abraham’s LOA perspectives to look at life from a completely cooperative basis.  Imagine, at the root, that everything in existence is based on cooperation – even conflict.  People who want to experience war agree to create those conditions so they can experience it.  Others choose differently and so create differently.  There’s a sentence in the CC writings about gathering in one’s own energy and using discernment not judgement when it comes to choosing for one’s self.

“It is also useful for you, at this time, to recognize, center, and contain your own energy fields, particularly when you are in the presence of others. You are learning to recognize when these energy fields, which are not yours, begin to intrude upon, or move into, your own. It does not require forcefulness on the part of your behavior to set this right. Indeed, you can be gentle, both with yourself and with others. But it does require that you close your own energy field to their intrusion.

Again, levels of boundary, energetic and physical, emotional and tangible. You were quite clearly able to observe competitive patterns and energy events at your Saturday gathering. Now we ask you to be aware of your own interaction with these. To make conscious decisions about your own energy and your own behavior. While moving through the process, you have been able to observe how the various interactions work. Now you will allow yourself the next step of making choices rather than simply being swept up in the event. Now you become the active participant as well as the observer, making definitive choices, both in how and with whom you exchange energy.

Be more clear within yourself in those moments when you observe patterns in others which no longer interest you or which you find distracting or counterproductive. Withhold your energy at these times. Simply gather it back to yourself, and remain still. Then you may choose whether or not to engage or remark directly regarding the process and patterns you see before you to those involved in them. Frankly, often it will not be worth your time. For people attached to energy patterns, played out in personality dramas, are no less powerful than you. They are simply making different choices. And it has never been your job or your role to change their choices. Your role is simply to be the example of your own choices. And in their way, they provide you with insights as to where these choices still operate in your own lives.”

The other part of this is that I don’t need to choose for anyone but myself – nor can I.  Each person is an infinite being, making his or her own choices.  My choices lead me to situations and people who are of like mind (or opposite, depending on my choices) and they to me.  It becomes, no, is, constantly self-fulfilling.  My choices?

• Action Follows Intention
• Create Joy
• See Everyone and Everything as Infinite
• Believe in Myself
• Be More
• Love Everything Because Everything is Lovable
• Expect No Difficulties
• Allow Flow
• Relax and Let Go

I am an infinite Being, a conscious co-creator… I like it!

Love,
Me.

P.S.  I came across the following from Lloyd on NWV, one of his conversations with himself.  It reminded me of the ‘well of knowledge’ Marcia and I were told about, way back.  Jane also had a psychic library…

“OK.  But the meaning of the Library?  I’ve always been drawn to libraries.  I’ve spent many, many hours going through stacks of books and pulling out things that interest me.  I love it!  But this seemed different.  Like it was alive.  Like it was information I KNEW wanted to FIND ME!  And then the dream ended.

And indeed it is information that IS finding you.  The “library” is YOURSELF!

What?  How can that be?  I don’t understand what you’re saying.

The knowledge and wisdom of all Creation is contained within yourself, because your “library” is the crossroads of every information channel that exists throughout the Universe.  You may still think that you must read every book and explore every academic path.  Indeed not!  You simply must “activate” your inner channels.  As a matter of fact, conventional “knowledge” is obsolete.  Have you noticed what appears to be happening as we speak?

I know that everything I thought I knew about financial stuff is NOT working any longer.  But there is a huge push to try to resolve things by doing much more of the same sort of “manipulation”.  And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  It seems like the entire world is crumbling!  And every sort of lying scheme seems to be coming into view right now!

And it is about time for that to happen!  So that YOU will awaken to the vast resources that you have through your own genetic makeup!  And activate the channels that have been forgotten and lulled to sleep through manipulation and deception by those who would control you!”

_____
December 29, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Let’s start with a couple of Abraham quotes, from Christmas Day and Boxing Day:

“If your desire is strong enough, it doesn’t matter what your beliefs are. If you have a desire that is strong enough, that desire will be the dominant vibration, and it will over-ride any other vibration that you have.”  Excerpted from a workshop in Atlanta, GA on Saturday, September 13th, 1997

“No matter what the issue is, don’t try to justify why you don’t feel good. And don’t try to justify why you should feel differently. Don’t try to blame whatever it is you think the reason is that’s keeping you from feeling good. All of that is wasted effort. Just try to feel better right now.”  Excerpted from a workshop in Tallahassee, FL on Sunday, January 21st, 2001

I like the first one especially.

Okay, then.  I wrote the following out this afternoon.

It’s been a bit of a strange day.  Quiet this morning with some reading, and then shortly after noon I walked down to the Grand 10 and saw ‘The Tale of Despereaux’.  Not a terrible movie, but not very good either.  The plot was too thin.  I’m not sorry I saw it, but it could definitely wait for DVD.  And now I’m at the Starbucks on Leathead, doing a little writing and having a coffee.  As I was walking to the movie I was thinking that I hadn’t seen anyone from the old neighbourhood out and about, and as I was walking along 97 I saw Andrew driving the blue pickup.  Just like that.  And now I’m thinking I haven’t seen the manifestation of my desires yet.  And I let it go…

As I was walking along this afternoon I was thinking about something I read in the CC writings last night, which was that wherever we are within ourselves at the moment, we tend to see our present place, our present understandings as ‘normal’ for us, and it can be very easy to forget how far we’ve come, how much we’ve learned, how much we’ve released.  And thinking about that got me thinking that the one area in my life where I’m still most aware of offering resistance is with regard to myself, and even accepting all that I know, all that I’ve learned, all the skills I have – both psychic and physical.  I’m sure there are others who have more knowledge of some things or who are more adept in certain areas, but that doesn’t discount my own skills and abilities.  Just as being healthy doesn’t make anyone else ill, and being wealthy doesn’t make anyone else poor, being proud of myself doesn’t negate anyone else.  I know this, and yet it still seems difficult for me to shake.  Patience, Michael.  I’ve reached the point where I recognize I have value as a human being, so this is just an extension of that understanding.  I am wise, skilled, knowledgeable, and the sky isn’t going to fall down if I admit that to myself.  In fact, denying that, by extension denies all of me as everything is connected.  So I’ll work on accepting this and then I can move into feeling really good about it.

I am an infinite being.  I am a physical being and a non-physical being.  I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being, and I am creating a world based on that.  I always used to wonder how my world would shift and what it would look like as I grew in awareness and expanded my sense of Self, but as with who I am, my world always feels ‘normal’, for here, for now.

I’ve had quite a few concepts to play with lately if I take a moment to think about them.  Focusing on joy as a primary motivator, considering and tapping into intuitive knowledge, taking highly focused, impulsive action, being whole – more than my consciousness – expanding my sense of who and what I am, learning to create by creating, a reality based on intrinsic cooperation… probably a few more… and this is ‘normal’ for me.  Hmmm…

One quick note before I go: I’ve recently finished reading Frances Mayes’ book ‘A Year in the World’ again, and in the past couple of days I’ve read ‘A Year in Provence’ and ‘Toujours Provence’ by Peter Mayle.  Both authors write in a similar style, but what attracts me to them is the celebration – of food, of place, of home, of every day moments, of friends, of family.  There’s one section in ‘A Year in the World’ where Frances and Ed are on vacation in Scotland with five other friends – cooking together, traveling together, reading together, walking together, etc. and I thought, “Marcia and I don’t have five friends we could do that with.”  Then I thought, “Yes we do.  We just haven’t met them all yet.”

Love,
Me.

P.S.  Brian from NWV has offered up some more quotes from ‘The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James’, and so I’m going to add them in here:

“Nevertheless, I feel myself growing out of myself in a certain fashion.  My adopted characteristics are becoming too small and cramped to contain my new growth and development, and I will move on most certainly to a larger psychological quarters.  It is not only the physical body we outlive, but the psychological house we have chosen. First, after death we add new rooms and suites to accommodate our greater experience, but it is soon obvious that the entire structure has had its day.  We must move out of it completely.” ~ The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James, Chapter 10, page 159

“It was only after death that I understood life’s full achievement; appreciated the fine focus of Consciousness tuned so precisely and triumphantly to one place and time; and felt the power of earth-dimensioned life as in life I had never known it. As a result I came to terms with my own spirit, and gave it it’s freedom while in life I over-tended it, believing that it was ill served by mortality’s experience.

It is to comment upon that earthly experience that I now once again shape the components of my Consciousness into that general cast they once possessed, and adopt to some extent the characteristic bent of thought by which my works were known.” ~ The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James, Chapter 2, page 46.

“So from my vantage point now, I would like to remove some of the misconceptions about the drama itself that cause so many persons to ‘misread’ their lines, to stutter, or act without the full knowledge available to them.

My own experience is a case in point from which anyone can benefit.  First of all, however, a few comments.  These may at first appear so obvious that my readers wonder why I bother mentioning them at all, yet the very simplicity of the following issues is often overlooked in the sometimes murky or ponderous climate of conventional thought.  The main point, so easy to forget, is that each person IS the hero or heroine in his or her own life. Everything else, all actions seem to revolve around us personally in life.  This is not an illusion, but a fact of metaphysics and psychology as well.

We are each, in life, a center, a focus of unique consciousness; possessing our own quirks, talents, characteristic methods of expression, and our own spiritual or psychic tints through which all experience is perceived.  That is, we ourselves each stamp or stain our mark upon the world.  We are each so unalike that we might be members of different species entirely, so diverse is the nature of our inner realities, so different is one person’s soul from another’s, one person’s challenges, dreams, and intimate contact with life.

In society we must, of course, also acknowledge our similarities and cooperate in civilization’s ventures.  I do not mean to minimize the vast uniting qualities of the emotions, for example, but only to stress that each person will experience them in his or her own way, and that one man’s love may hold depths and nuances completely alien to the same emotion felt by another.  More, each person’s vantage point in the Universe is his or her own, a platform for all of his or her acts that can be possessed by no other, is inviolate and, in an inexplicable fashion, absolute.” ~ The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James, Chapter 8 pg. 134-135

_____
December 31, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s the last day of 2008.  Little did I know a year ago where I would be today!  Today I had to get out.  I hopped the 97 (front seat!) and headed downtown.  It’s sunny today and would be warm except the wind has a real bite to it.  I walked around by the lake for a while and made a few photographs, but the LCD screen started getting jumpy and I put the camera away.  I don’t think it likes the wind either!

I thought about stopping off at the Woodfire for lunch on the way down, but decided to just keep on going.  Then I thought about going to the Grateful Fed, but it’s closed.  So was the Bohemian across the street.  Marcia and I have yet to eat there!  Anyway, I ended up at Le Triskell.  Brittany, not Provence, but close enough.  I ordered a crepe with tomato sauce, ham, mushrooms, egg, and I’m not sure what else.  Tasty!

Okay, after Le Triskell I’ve come to The Bean Scene for tea and dessert.  After the four shots of expresso I had yesterday at Jim’s, I’m staying away from coffee today.  So, Earl Grey and a molasses cookie instead.  The lady behind the counter just mentioned that they’re opening a new store in Rutland in January.  If I’m still around I may have to check them out – once – but I still owe allegiance to Jim.

The sun’s shining in through the front window and if I put my head down I’d be asleep in seconds!  As it is I’m enjoying my tea and cookie.

When I was walking around the lake I was thinking about Jay’s call this morning and that brought me to the question, “What do you do for a living?”  And it struck me as such a silly question.  Basically reworded it asks, “What do you do in order to justify your existence?  What do you do in exchange for life?”  Such a strange concept, and yet in a way it underlies the entire basis for our society.  Our world has ceased to be based on cooperation and is based on justification instead.  And there are only two apparent choices – either play the game or cut yourself out of it.  Cutting yourself out of it puts you on the edge, though, on the edge of the world, invisible.  But maybe that’s not only an outmoded view, but highly restrictive as well?  After all, ‘society’ is, in a sense, Me.  My world is a reflection of Me.  It’s like I’ve written before about shifting from a worldview where some small group makes the ‘rules’ and everyone else follows them or rebels against them, into a world based on choice and respect.  It’s the third option, the doorway I’ve been looking for.  And it all begins with acceptance.  I’m still learning to accept myself, my desires, my actions, my views and my choices.  And it’s more than that, too.  After so many years of invisibility I’m looking to be noticed.  Not paparazzi levels of noticed, just acknowledged.  No, more than that – appreciated, not tolerated.  I’m still running smack into my own beliefs, but that’s a good thing!  I’ve gone beyond feeling that my beliefs are separate from me and control my life, and moved into seeing my beliefs as ways I express myself.  And that’s a good thing.

So, back to the original question.  What do I do in exchange for life?  Nothing.  My value is intrinsic because I AM.  And society can be a whirling mass of different shapes and colours, all achieving harmony – like a rainforest.  It doesn’t have to be just one key, repeated.  I am broadening my horizons and that’s one of the things that appeals to me about travel – different people, different cultures, different Ways of Being, but all Being together and working best when they are themselves and not trying to be someone or something else.

More later perhaps.

Love,
Me.

“You have chosen a different kind of consciousness. That kind of consciousness necessitated different kinds of challenges, so that with your new kind of mind, you would come to different crossroads. You would forget what the animals knew, but with a different kind of consciousness, you would triumphantly then become aware, but in a different way, of the animals’ blessed knowledge and use it again in new terms as conscious co-creators. You have not as yet reached that level but you are working. That is in partial answer to your question.

“There is a great conscious revelation that in all probability can come to each of you and to those of your species in which you understand the nature of your own race and your relationship with All-That-Is within the reality that you know. And then you will realize many things, when you do not define your existence as physical only. Then you will not feel that you should agree, or because you feel that your immortality is dependent upon the seed that falls from you into the earth. You will recognize your own immortality and therefore be free and joyous in your mortality. And you will gracefully take your part as co-creators at a conscious level with all the conscious and unconscious beings that dwell within your physical reality.” ~ ESP Class, June 11, 1974.

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January 2, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, the first time I’ve written out 2009!

A few things to write about today.  The first is a carryover from my writings on Wednesday.  I was writing about society and it brought me to a place where I could see society, not as the core of civilization with other groups outside of it, but I saw society as being the complete framework, including everyone and excluding none.  My vision of society broadened immeasurably in that moment and became inclusive, not exclusive.  And with that newfound sense of acceptance of society as a whole, I also discovered a place, a way to find acceptance for myself.  And this is an acceptance based on me as I consider myself to be rather than acceptance of me based on some set of prerequisite conditions.  Now I’m moving my way up from acceptance to welcome.  I’m sitting in my favourite Starbucks, napping a little as I write, and feeling welcome to be here, to drink my Earl Grey, eat my cookie, write my notes, etc.  A world based on cooperation.  And in seeing society as a tapestry incorporating everyone into its fabric, then I can also accept my ability to be a part of this fabric, and with the ability to choose my own role.  Michael as the person who has what he desires most, Michael as the person who lives and loves and travels and gives and receives and so much more.  I’m welcome in this society as a dynamic part of it.  There are no aberrant threads in the fabric; everything and everyone has a place.

For much of my life I sought to be invisible, or simply avoided by others.  And now I’m finding a different way because the old ways no longer fit.  They’re too small, too constricting.  This Way is a much better Way to be…

Yesterday I started reading ‘Inkdeath’, the third in the Cornelia Funke series, and all of the characters are now living in the Inkworld, engaged with the story itself.  Here and there Fenoglio or Orpheus will write changes into the story itself but in large part he story continues on its own and sometimes the writings of Fenoglio bring unexpected results.  The story very much has a life of its own.

As I was out walking today I was thinking about that, and also about Seth’s idea that our thoughts, for example, create worlds that we’re only peripherally aware of.  And like with Inkworld, these realities don’t cease to exist when we stop thinking of them but continue to form and live their own existence.  Like Inkworld, there is a basic unpredictability to this too.  Not everything can or should be rigidly controlled.  A couple of threads lead from that one.  One is the idea of living in the physical vs. non-physical.  For much of my life I sought to get beyond the physical, and as I opened up more to myself I began to live more in this world, to make this reality the most important.  Now I’m learning how to do both, to live in the physical and non-physical at the same time.  My fear in this is that I’ll only experience the things I desire in the non-physical, but that simply shows me a place where I still need to improve, an area where I can relax and let go more completely.

Love,
Me.

“I do not, therefore, want you to concentrate your efforts in memorizing methods of perceiving other realities, but to realize that such insights are everywhere within your grasp. If you understand that, then you will rearrange the organization of your own thoughts quite by yourself. You will begin to read your own thoughts as easily as you now read a book. It is far more important to read your own thoughts than it is to learn to read the thoughts of others, for when your own feelings are known to you, you easily see that all other feelings are also reflected in your own. When you look away from the world you are looking at it more closely. When you read sentences like the last one you are somewhat freeing your own minds, opening greater organizations. Your life is one “dream that you are remembering.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, Session 940.

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January 5, 2009
Hello, Michael:

I followed an impulse last night to look at the CC website, and ended up at session 35.  There were two things there that jumped out at me.  The first was near the top, and while the context was about ‘spreading the word’, there was one sentence in there that talked about finding answers through the dream state (emphasis mine):

“It’s up to each person to choose their own expression. This is the absolute basis of absolute freedom. We would suggest to you that if you wish to make changes, that is, you wish to have some mass effect or larger impact based on your own use and interpretation of the ideas, that you are absolutely free to do so in whatever manner you choose. And we would also suggest that you would make much greater progress and certainly more rapid progress if you were to approach these “problems”…”challenges” from within the dream state.”

That really got me thinking because I’ve always sort of thought of my dream self as being the opposite or complement of my conscious self – like the Roman Janus, with two faces looking in opposite directions.  And while I’ve recognized events and elements from my conscious state in remembered dreams, I’ve never really thought much about interplay between the two and I certainly haven’t thought much about shifting from one state to the other to find creative solutions to specific challenges.  As I was typing that I thought about Jane, and how she went into one state of consciousness to sing/ write Sumari, and how she then had to go into a different state of consciousness to translate what she had written.  As I come to understand myself better and become more aware of integrating what I once thought of as disparate aspects of my self, then this makes a lot of sense.  I’m recognizing in more concrete terms that I am more than my conscious mind, and the results of that are quite astounding.  Something that came to me as I was writing this section was that it’s more than just expanding the boundaries of my conscious mind and making my conscious mind more than it was.  It goes beyond that, and gets into the realm of… how do I explain this?  I used to see my consciousness as ‘Me’, and while I recognized that there are other aspects of my self, because I identified myself so strongly with my conscious mind these other aspects of my self were delegated to some greater self of which ‘I’ was only a part.  That’s what’s different now: I’m recognizing that I am more than my conscious mind, and claiming those other aspects of my self – becoming more aware of them.  It’s like I’ve been living in a huge house but most of the rooms have been shut up.  Slowly I’m opening those doors and discovering the other rooms.  And it’s not that I’m living in the house.  I am the house.  The interesting thing is that this awareness is coming on a conscious level, so while I say that I am more than my conscious mind, at this point I’m discovering this connection and expansion from the perspective of my conscious mind.  No, that’s not quite right.  This awareness is coming to all aspects of my self, and each aspect understands this information in different ways.  I’m still focusing primarily on the understanding from the perspective of my conscious mind because it’s still the most familiar to me.  As Seth said, “There are no boundaries or separations to the self.”  But how do I understand my self from the perspective of my dream self, for example?  My belief has been that all awareness in this level of reality must be filtered through the perspective of the conscious mind.  What does it feel like to let go of that?

It also occurred to me as I was writing this out that from early on, going back several years, I set out my desires but I told myself that I couldn’t see how they could be created using rational, physical means.  I also told myself that I wanted to remember and rediscover the skills and abilities ‘I’ have in Lemuria.  Should it surprise me then that my journey these past several years has led me to understand my self in a way that takes me beyond just using rational means?  Should it surprise me that my teachings are leading me to discover the knowledge I have in Lemuria?  Probably not.  Whenever I ask for something of my self, of the Universe, of All That Is, it still surprises me when the request is granted and the answer given, but maybe it shouldn’t.  Whatever, I am grateful.

The other thing I got from reading the CC writings last night was… let’s see here…  For years I’ve used the CC writings as one of the primary teaching tools I have for metaphysics.  Seth’s the other primary source, and Abraham, Bashar and others fit in there too.  Me too, of course!  But what’s suggested in session 35 is that it’s not enough to understand the information as given.  The challenge is to go beyond it.  Again, emphasis is mine:

“It’s about extending the boundaries, not setting them in place. If you insist on setting the boundaries in place around the work we have already accomplished then you have missed the point entirely. For the work has just begun. You have chosen the job of expanding the work, not conforming to it. So naturally you use all of the tools available to you within the work. Believing despite any physical reality as evidence, etc. etc.

But you know instinctively and intuitively that it’s your job to go beyond, otherwise you become lowly apostles, followers, and essentially, blind sheep. Blind sheep. Leading more blind sheep. And what is the good of this? It accomplishes nothing. For it is one thing entirely to begin to understand the nuances of your own creation, the coloration of your psyche, the subtle textures and hues with which you color your own world. Think carefully about your journey today along the country road that symbolizes so much of your own desire and the physical manifestation of nature in balance with humanity. Every detail and your every response to it tells you something about the inner workings of your own psyche. And this is perfection. And this is the perfect understanding of yourself and it’s wonderful. And you recognize it and thrill to it.

But you know instinctively that this is not all there is. It is not simply about a drive in the country. It is about claiming your place within this picture. With a freedom and abandon that states clearly who you are without any ramification or connection to any of the rules or mores or qualifiers of the outer perspective. Do you understand our meaning here? This is the expansion. You know where you are at home and you create yourselves there. Your only difficulty lies in rectifying the rational mind’s position – the rational mind at this point really doesn’t have a clue. And in case you hadn’t become aware of this, the rational mind has decided that both of you are nuts and yet somehow you are functioning within all of this.

Now the danger or the precipice if you will lies in not paying attention enough to a rational mind which may choose to act on its own belief, i.e. you are crazy, in such a way as to hope to protect you. In this case, we do not feel that you have much danger here as the rational mind has accepted that fact that there isn’t much it can do about it. In a way, it is as if you have forced the rational mind outside of its own comfortable box where it is reluctantly but still assuredly affirming the fact that it has no answer here. That there is nothing it knows to do to “save you”. And so the magical takes precedent. And this is healthy for the rational mind to the extent that it recognizes the dream it creates…to the extent that it embraces the symbols it sees in the outside landscape that correlate with its own knowing.

So, to the extent that you follow your intuition and impulses and gives yourselves adequate signs along the way, the rational mind is upheld. And to the extent that you do not, the rational mind feels abandoned. So if you will understand this, the symbols, that is, the outer appearance, perspective, experience, of the places you travel speaking directly to this traveling you have done within these certain areas of physical location, to the extent that these themselves correlative with the inner symbols of the rational mind you strengthen your position. To the extent that they do not correlate, you feel weakened. Lost and confused.

When you think about this in retrospect you will understand it perfectly. There is no place where the impulses and spontaneous experience, being allowed to move forward, will not guide you exactly and perfectly. It is only to the extent that you stifle this information within yourself or in communication, as in one to the other, as pertains to where you drive, etc., or what you feel in this moment, that you lose your way. For as long as you allow the impulse to guide and to lead, then the spontaneous nature of your being, which is directly connected to that which you seek, and to its own inner comprehension and understanding of its rightful place within this discrete framework of ATI… you cannot help but arrive within the perfect surroundings.

In this sense, the understanding of doubt should become very clear to you for doubt is the opposing force which leads you away from that which you seek. Trust is the force that brings you to your perfect expression and value fulfillment. Ultimately it seems from this perspective, to be a simple matter and yet you must comprehend that in the terms of your culture, the structure which you have chosen to work all of this out in, and the larger perspective of the creative environment in which you operate at this time, this is the heart of the matter. For were you capable of moving from the very moment of your birth in complete trust forward through your expression, there would never be any sense of resistance, doubt, fear, or struggle. Ultimately these are the things you have come to resolve and this is the task before you. So it is rather pointless to beat yourself up or negate your efforts with thoughts that you should have been more trusting. If you should have been more trusting, you would have been. And ultimately since the goal of this expression is to be more trusting, it seems ridiculous to demand the goal at the outset.”

As I wrote to Marcia last night, “I remember a Seth quote that I don’t have readily available, but it was about challenges created in one level of reality being solved by another portion of the self or in another level of reality.  Just gave me something to think about.  Here we are, and we know that we’re more than our conscious minds and our bodies, and yet (speaking for myself), I’ve been trying to solve my current challenges in this reality almost entirely using the tools available in physical reality.  Doing so denies a much larger part of my self.  Remember in the movie ‘Contact’, when they’d downloaded these thousands and thousands of pages of information but they didn’t know what to do with them because the pages didn’t fit together?  And then Mr. Hadden figured out that they had to be joined in three dimensions, not just two?  Something like that… thinking outside the ‘box’ so to speak.”

Okay, it’s coming up on 1:00 and I have to get up to go grocery shopping in six hours so I’d best call it a night.

Love,
Me.

P.S.  Just had another look at session 35 in the CC writings, and the first two sentences jumped out at me:

“It’s up to each person to choose their own expression. This is the absolute basis of absolute freedom.”

Hmmm…

“… you are not fully conscious unless you are aware of the contents of your conscious mind. I am emphasizing the fact that the conscious mind is equipped to receive information from the inner self as well as the exterior universe.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 616.

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I haven’t posted any of my writings for some time now; no reason except a lack of time, and as the saying goes, there are 168 hours in the week – what you do with them is up to you!  Anyway, [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

I haven’t posted any of my writings for some time now; no reason except a lack of time, and as the saying goes, there are 168 hours in the week – what you do with them is up to you!  Anyway, I’m going to add some more of my archived writings for the reason mentioned above, but I think there’s some good stuff in there.  Before I do I wanted to add one comment.  I used to do a fair number of talks on spirituality and other things, and before I began my talks I always mentioned two things.  First, I asked the people in the audience to put away their pens, paper, computers, etc. and just listen, because if your brain can’t do two jobs at the same time.  If you’re trying to write and listen at the same time, one or both are going to lose out.  Second, I told everyone not to believe a single word I said… at least not until they each took the time to absorb the information and decide for themselves, “This much I like, this I can agree with.  This part I’m not sure about; I’m going to have to think about this for a bit.  This part isn’t for me, at least not for now.  I’m going to set this part aside.”  I think it’s vital that each of us do that with everything we experience.  It’s very easy to accept something as true because someone said it or you read it in a book or saw it on the ‘net or the late movies, but what’s more important, at least to me, is to decide how this information resonates within you.  Seth said:

“You must realize that any idea you accept as truth is a belief that you hold. You must, then, take the next step and say, ‘It is not necessarily true even though I believe it.’ You will, I hope, learn to disregard all beliefs that imply basic limitations.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 614.

Of course, you’re welcome to disagree with both of us!

Love,
Mike.

Here’s a look at my writings:

December 9, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Thought a little Seth might be good to get me going…

“I have spoken of ‘you,’ yet this must not be confused with the you that you often think you are – the ego alone, for the ego is only a portion of You; it is the expert part of your personality that deals directly with the contents of your conscious mind, and is concerned most directly with the material portions of your experience.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 613.

“While it is true that the body is the living materialization of ideas, it is also true that these ideas form an active, responsive alive body. The body is not just a tool to be used. It is not just a vehicle for the spirit. It is the spirit in flesh.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 630.

“All of creation is sacred and alive, each part connected to each other part, and each communicating in a creative cooperative commerce in which the smallest and the largest are equally involved.” ~ Psychic Politics, The Codicils.

Anyway, here’s what I wrote out today.

I recognized a couple of things today I can let go of.  The first was an idea that my life is like a train barreling along in a certain direction, and then there’s me, hanging on to the side and attempting to get it to change its course – and having about as much effect as a flea on an elephant.  That’s definitely a ‘To Me’ stance, however, and it’s definitely time to let that go.  Related to that was another idea that reminds me of the legendary battle between King Richard of England and Charlemaine of Persia.  The battle never actually happened, but the way the story goes the two men met on the battlefield and King Richard said, “I show you the power of England.”  Drawing his two-handed, 5-ft. long broadsword he swung and cut a sapling in half.  Nonplussed, Charlemaine said, “I show you the power of Persia.”  He removed a silk handkerchief from his person and tossed it in the air, then drew his scimitar and cut the handkerchief in four.

This story illustrates to me what I’ve believed to be the difference between physical and non-physical realities.  The non-physical is lightning quick, a dance of energy, light and form, shifting and changing.  Physical reality by comparison is slow and heavy, plodding along and requiring great effort to change.  Now, given those two choices, who wouldn’t want to be the first one?  I know I would.  But again, what came to me was not that this is an assessment of what physical and non-physical realities are, but rather how I’ve seen them and thus created in my experience.  Going back a few years, I was in a place where my greatest desire was to feel ‘safe’ – I didn’t feel safe even within my own being.  And so I have created a world where I am safe – a safe, solid, staid view of reality.  But now I recognize that I am safe, that I live in a safe universe, and so I’m ready to expand, to take in a little… let’s say ‘adventure’ and not ‘danger’.  And so, once again my view of what is possible in the physical is changing.  It’s funny.  I see myself as being in physical reality and yet ‘I’ as my conscious mind/ ego am not physical.  I have a physical body, a physical brain, but my thoughts, ideas, dreams, insights, etc. are not physical, tangible things.  I think the second Seth quote at the beginning of this section fits in well here.  Anyway, this is a perspective I’ve not really considered before.  For much of my life I was almost completely disassociated from my body; if I looked in the mirror I recognized that the person staring back was ‘Me’, but I didn’t really connect that image to how I saw myself.  My idea of ‘Me’ was almost completely connected to my intellect, and to a lesser extent my intuition.  As I embarked on my healing journey I felt I had to include my association with my body as a part of that, and began to strengthen that relationship.  I began to ‘get my feet in the mud’ as I was told by the Source once in a channeling session.  And – I just thought of this – I saw that idea of strengthening my relationship with my physical self as ‘descending’.  In the laws of physics, E = MC² sort of stuff, matter is energy that is really slowed down.  Bingo.  And so becoming physical meant slowing down my naturally energetic frequencies and ‘descending’ into this reality.  Ugh.  Put like that, it doesn’t sound too appealing!  A lot of what I’ve been attempting to do is to elevate my physical reality to a higher state, and with a Christian upbringing ‘higher and ‘lower’ have definite connotations.  However, as I wrote yesterday, I don’t need to change my world – I only need to change my view of the world.  Rather than going to the considerable time and effort of elevating my physical reality to a higher state of being, I can simply accept that it’s already at a higher state than I’ve believed it to be.  There’s a section in the CC writings that talks about cleaning grime off a window and seeing clearly for the first time.  Hmmm…

So, my conscious mind deals primarily with physical reality, but is not physical.  And physical reality is largely if not entirely based on my beliefs of it, or as I wrote long ago – there is no fixed reality, there are only perceptions of it.

That reminds me of a quote from ‘Illusions’ by Richard Bach, which is, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.” So the real question is, “Am I willing to accept a completely different idea of what physical reality can be?

Okay, it’s coming up to 1:00 again, and so I’m going to let this go for now…

Love,
Me.
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December 10, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s been a convoluted day today.  I was thinking about that Seth quote yesterday about the body being the spirit in flesh, and I combined that with what Marcia asked me recently about Shore Slocum and our dream home and thought that our home is, in a way, my spirit expressed as a house.  That reminds me of a section from the CC writings:

“All of your coincidences make perfect sense – how else could it occur but in the way which you BELIEVE, and in a way which SHOWS you what you believe. You believe in telepathy? You experience telepathy! You believe in creation, you experience creation! You believe in limitation? You experience limitation! This is the sum total of your life experience! So rather than trying to sort out the underlying beliefs, why not simply admit that it’s ALL beliefs. The cars on the street, the birds in the trees, the bunnies on the lawn, all belief. All you, creating, to show you yourself. All belief! Who are you? Who do you believe you are? Imagine that the truth is that you do NOT exist. That this is simply a void space which you have filled with your imagination and you have filled it SO well that you have believed that your creation is REAL. But there is nothing here.

There is nothing here but YOU. All of you. Experiencing all of you. And calling it real. And no amount of evidence that you pile up will change it! Ask yourself when you’re dreaming, when you’re caught up in the drama of a dream, do you not feel the ground under your feet? Do you not experience the reality of the dream? You have trained yourselves so well in this dream of physical reality that you hardly EVER allow yourselves to experience the KNOWING that it is your creation, that it IS your dream. Sometimes, in your dream states, you will remember you are dreaming and you will say, “Oh, this is a dream. Oh, I can change this if I want to because this is a dream.” See if you can do it in your physical reality dream! The nature of the dreams are the same. “This is a dream. I can change it if I want to.” And change it. In the dreams, you never ask yourselves, “Oh, HOW will I change it??? Oh, how will I make it happen?” You are not helpless; it is YOUR dream. You say to yourself, “This is a dream, I can change it!” – and you change it!

Choose. Act from the place within yourself that knows and request the rational mind to participate in the uncovering of the beliefs. And the selection of new choices. Let the rational mind tell you all of the things it wants, and then give it to them – give it to yourself. Now, perhaps, some of you are going to be very frustrated with us. And with yourselves. Perhaps once again we will be accused of saying things so directly that are so simple and yet which you will lament are so difficult to achieve. We are smiling as we remind you that this is a belief. PLAY with your lives. After all, what is the WORST consequence possible? You will DIE and wake up from the dream. And perhaps you will do this before you do what you are so sure you want to do. You will lose your love; you will lose your grand idea.

Choose. And remember that the fastest way to lose your love or grandest idea is to forget that this IS the dream. Do not be afraid. Take your grandest visions of yourselves and create them! For what else could you possible be here to do? And what risk are you taking? None! The only real risk is that you fail to seek, to be, the grandest vision of yourself. The rest is all details. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, earlier, later.”

My conscious mind is my spirit expressed as physically focused consciousness.  My spirit, expressed as an animal, would be a wolf, and so on.  Now in one way none of these aspects can express the fullness of my spirit, but in another way that sentence is moot because infinity has no divisions.  It’s an interesting way to look at things though, thinking about my living spirit expressed into different forms, and about my physical reality as a whole as being an expression of myself.

And that got me thinking about something else.  Several years ago I felt like I was being boxed in, and so in my meditations I saw myself as being in a little room, all white, with four walls, a ceiling, and no door.  And during my meditations I used to dismantle the walls and the ceiling, and I kept doing that over and over, and finally I was left with this big empty space – no walls, no ceiling, just white space.  But that’s the point.  It was infinite, but it was also empty.  It’s a Buddhist view of infinity – Nirvana, a great melting pot where all individuality is lost.  But recognizing that is very important, because it’s another mirror to where things have been going in my life.  As I’ve been exploring my own infinity, I’ve been stripping away my physical life, down to that blank white space.  Wrong!!!!!  I wrote recently about seeing God in the details, and this is a further expression of this.  Funny, when people experience NDEs they often talk about a tunnel and a bright white light – might be conditioning, or it may be, as the CC writings have said, like clearing grime from the window.  But it brings me back to thinking about what I’ve supposed my life will be like in the non-physical after the end of my life here.  No harp playing or clouds, but what have I been looking to?  Infinite emptiness?  No…  So that begs the question of what I expect infinity to look like.  I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being, expressing myself into physical reality.  I am a creator.  Now, what is it I’m creating?

Actually, a thought that just popped into my head comes from a meditation I did with Marcia, years and years ago.  I was talking her through it, and when she closed her eyes she found herself in a desert.  She felt like she was a desert.  It was very barren, not unlike my great empty ‘room’.  It was very ‘cold’, empty.  Even though she moved around in this space, she didn’t see anything as far as she could see.  And so I suggested she bring some rain to this desert inside her, and everything was changed.  Plants grew.  Flowers opened.  Animals showed up.  And within a very short time, her inner ‘desert’ was transformed.  I had forgotten about that until just now.  So, what happens when I bring ‘rain’ to my blank white desert?  What does infinity look like to me?  Well, it doesn’t look empty to me anymore; it looks full.  And so I can fill this space with love and laughter and food and travel and friends and family and inspiring conversation.  I can fill this space with joy and music and dance and art.  I can fill this space with all of the things and ideas that are important to me.  I can make this space beautiful, making this ‘house of the soul’ into my home, into me.  The infinite me.  Wow…  It’s so beautiful!

When I was younger I used to hold a barely definable grip on physical reality and on my body and on ‘me’ because I wasn’t interested in being in this world, in this life.  That took years to change, and slowly I began to enjoy my life, to being in this world.  Marcia was a big influence in that; she gave me a safe place in which to learn how to be me.  In my own way I did that for her, too.  Anyway, even as I grew within myself, my focus has been largely toward expanding my ideas of physical reality, to open up my conscious mind to all that it can be, and to make this physical reality as much like the non-physical as possible.  One of my favourite Seth quotes is something to the effect that it’s not that we live in a lesser reality but that we haven’t recognized the extent of the reality in which we do exist.  And so that’s what I’ve been interested in… finding the extents of my reality.  But now I hold up that idea to my image of infinity as being this huge empty space and things slide together.  Time to change that view.  Time to accept that All That Is isn’t just the aggregation of everything, but All That Is in fact is everything, just as it is.  And so infinity isn’t found in doing away with limits or removing things from my life, but in accepting the infinite exquisite detail that can be found in everything.  It’s time to make my life full.  Wow…  Now that’s an infinity I can get into.  As to physical death, I don’t see it as a stripping away of all of the symbols we use to express our reality, at least not right away.  Instead, I think it’s an adding to, an awareness of more, of different dimensions and Ways of Being.  More than going from the 8-pack of Crayola crayons to the 128-pack, but also adding in things like watercolours, oils, brushes, and music, dance as well…

Okay, one last thing before I shut this off for the night and that’s a section in the CC writings:

“Releasing Old Conditioning, No Compromises

Understand that a part of the new creation is a required shift in emotional relationships and attitudes, such that, behaviors no longer acceptable to you provoke a response of unacceptance, in you. There is nothing wrong with this. Follow the impulse, release the energy. Recognize where your past training in these areas of politeness, suppression, and going along with were against your own inner desires.

You may find yourself putting your foot down, rather forcefully, and of course, recognize that any time you do this, those who have, in the past, thoughtlessly and relentlessly taken advantage will be startled, perhaps unpleasantly. This too, is perfectly all right. Retraining is retraining, and is not to be feared. The agitation that you feel in these moments comes from the conflict between the new desire being honored and the old pattern seeking to enforce itself. The energy produced, a sense of frustration/ resentment/ irritation, is simply the friction of the release. The best use of this energy is movement honoring the new desire and destroying the old pattern. Make no apologies. None are necessary. Not to yourself, or to others.

Apologies are counterproductive at this time because they provide the message that the new desire needs apology. It does not. This reordering of more of the inner space goes on, on all levels. You have rightly sensed that much of your dreamwork at this time is also allowing you to release this old energy. Continue on this path of directness, on this straightforward and honest approach. The more directly you proceed, the more directly you arrive. This is a reclaiming of your own ground. This is a reclaiming of what is yours to own and the respect that is yours to demand. You are setting out new fenceposts. And this is a good thing. Set them where you want them the first time and you won’t have to set them again.

In a sense, you are overcoming the old art of compromise in those areas where it never could serve you. Compromise is not a requirement and you know this instinctively. The discomfort also arises because it is easier to carry the picture of yourself that is agreeable and compromising than it is to carry the picture of yourself that is not. We would suggest that the uncompromising self is in better alignment, more able to be honest, and ultimately is the self that requires total acceptance. Do not be swayed by momentary discomfort. So have it your way and remember clarity and directness. These are the tools to take you where you seek to go in all things.

It may seem to you at times, that the new desires and impulses are capricious, or insupportable. They will clash directly with old patterns of rescuing, conciliation, putting OTHERS in front of self. We insist, adamantly, that this is not so and that if you will follow the course you will see this clearly. Instead, the opposite is true. And the new impulses and desires, the course which seeks first and above all else to highly honor the self, ultimately, leads all of those in contact with you, to this same place.

In time, you will learn a smoothness and gentleness to this approach. At present it may seem to you that you are being abrupt or short tempered. This is partly because old patterns depended upon the force of anger in order to establish the most minor of boundaries. As you realize, recognize, and honor the new integrity with the self, the stridence will gradually dissipate. In any event, it is nothing to be concerned over, merely something to be aware of. You have been letting people step on your feet, and now you have decided that it is time to stop.

Please understand that on the path of your choosing, this is not an idle whim, but a basic requirement. We hope this has restored, to some degree, your confidence in yourself and your confidence in the process. We offer this understanding as our rose for your valentine, with a reminder that the first valentine is you, and until everyone who knows you knows this, you will still have a lot of kicking to do.”

And so, by accepting myself as being less than, because I’ve simply considered myself to be less or for whatever reason, I’ve stepped into this circle.  In stepping into this circle, I’ve willingly accepted all of the negativity that others have been willing to unload on me.  That’s not a ‘poor me’ statement, but a statement of choice.  And when I realized that tonight, I decided that I don’t need to push away those energies.  I don’t need to get angry or forceful, and I have no kicking to do.  Instead, I simply refuse to accept them anymore, and so they must pass through me and return to their original source.  I can do this now without judgement because I’ve learned to move beyond judgement of myself and others.  I am aware, and in being aware I am more conscious of my power than those who are not.  And so I simply refuse their ‘gifts’ in this.  I am putting myself in the center of my creations, and inviting into my circle those who share my ideas, my feelings of joy, my awareness of my own power.  And together this group of us will continue to create our lives in joy and bounty.  Actually, that reminded me of a dream I had several years ago.  In the dream I was living in a small community of people, a loving, helpful community where everyone shared and everyone worked well with everyone else.  It was a joyful place, a wonderful place to be.  It was in the US, somewhere in the Midwest, and the community was surrounded by forest.  At the end of the dream I soared up from the ground and as I got higher I could see that the world around this community was at war, and there were fires and destruction everywhere.  But this community was untouched, and not because they’d built a protective bubble around themselves to keep out the darkness, but simply because the light shone out from them.  When I used to travel in my meditations I always appeared as light being, and any attempts at violence or darkness passed right through me.  In exchange, a touch of loving, healing light transformed the darkness into light.  I no longer see the world in terms of that duality, with dark forces and energies and light forces, but someone’s fear is a dark force to them, operating in their lives, especially if they haven’t acknowledged it.

And so when I think about my life, when I think about those things I desire, I am doing it for me.  And when I succeed, and I already have, then those who once denounced me may change their tunes.  Maybe they’ll simply be happy for us, and maybe they’ll be reconciliatory, and maybe they’ll be secretly jealous, but none of that matters.  Only loving intentions find their way to me.  The rest I simply refuse to accept, or even notice.  That is the stance of a conscious co-creator as I see it.

My love to me.

P.S.  One more thing before I sign out.  A thought came to me with regard to Seth’s quote about how we seek experiences that reinforce our beliefs and avoid those that threaten them, and that was that from the perspective of someone who is consciously aware, it’s not about seeking or avoiding so much as it is about choice.  I choose experiences that are in line with my expanding beliefs, and I choose not to participate in experiences that don’t fit with that.  Seems like a much more mature stance to me.
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December 14, 2008
Hello, Michael:

I haven’t done any writing for the past few days, but I do have a few notes to write out.

A little Jane Roberts this time to get things started…

“Each person is a unique version of an inner model that is in itself a bank of potentials, variations, and creativity. The psyche is a seed of individuality and selfhood, cast in space-time but ultimately independent of it.” ~ Psychic Politics, The Codicils.

The past few days I’ve been very… physical would be the word, meaning that I’ve confined my mental activities to those dealing with this level of reality.  I get into periods like that where my metaphysical self seems to get turned off, or maybe it’s just that my focus turns outward instead of inward for a while.  No matter, it is what it is.

A couple of nondescript things here.  The first is that apparently when I was younger, I only crawled backwards.  I’d be getting myself backed into places and stuck all of the time, and my mother had to try and find me – under the bed, behind the couch or wherever.  Seems I was going my own way even then.  The second is that there was a new Anne of Green Gables special on TV tonight, and my mother mentioned that my grandfather wanted to name her Anne Shirley for some reason.  My grandmother didn’t want Anne as a first name, so she got Shirley Anne.

One note I have for myself here that ties in with something I’ve written before, is that physical reality is more open and more plastic than I’ve given it credit for.  Actually, to make this statement true or false is incorrect, because both are possible, depending on choices made.  And so it would be better to say that I am choosing to experience a physical reality that is more open and more plastic than I’ve experienced before.  Therefore I can expect changes in my life to come faster and easier than ever before.

Tied in with that, I was thinking today that my being here has brought me to consider many of my earliest held beliefs, and while I have been doing that, I also thought today that doing so is completely unnecessary.  For a long time I went searching for the answers to my ‘now’ in my past, seeking to uncover the foundation or cause for certain beliefs that I’ve entertained, and believing that by uncovering the roots of those beliefs I could bring healing to that earlier time and also be free of the consequences of those experiences.  Where I’m at now, however, is being more aware of the fact that energy isn’t restricted by time, and so I don’t have to go back into my memories to bring healing there.  By healing myself in my now, I consequently affect both my past and my future.  And there’s no need to go back into my past to uncover the roots of long-held beliefs because all that matters is whether or not they are currently held beliefs.  And I wouldn’t be concerned about them unless they were beliefs I was still holding on to.  Again, healing my now, giving up those beliefs now and making better choices now is all that matters.  It’s not that I can’t affect the past or the future, it’s that I don’t have to specifically seek out to change the past and the future because by creating a better now my past and future are aligned automatically.  Much simpler.

I am a creator.  I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being.  I’m still coming to terms with what that all means, in terms of my Self and my conscious mind and the connections and all.  Intellectual understanding isn’t really enough.  There’s a level of comprehension that I’m just beginning to grasp, and even when I grasp onto that, there’s so much more.

Last Thursday, after the talk at the Bohemian I wandered around Mosaic Books for a while.  I didn’t buy anything, but I peeked into a few books I hadn’t looked at before, and a couple of things jumped out at me.  The first was from ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsh.  And in there he wrote about how we are already in heaven but don’t realize it, and so we put ourselves on a journey to discover heaven, and we’re willing to go through hell to do it.  Interesting turn of phrase.  He said that the journey to heaven is a journey to nowhere; in fact, you could think of heaven as the space between the w and the h, which means that heaven is now – here.  I like that!

And the second thing was from Abraham’s latest book.  I opened the book ‘at random’, and there was a section about the first person to run the four minute mile, and how after someone had done it, other people found it possible as well, and now people run four-minute miles or less all of the time.  What’s needed is someone who’s willing to be free from being dissuaded that it’s not possible because it’s never happened before.  When I think about many of the ideas I have for my own life, I certainly fall into that category.  Much of what I want to do, to my knowledge, has never been done before.  I need to stop telling myself that it’s not possible.

Coming back to what I wrote about my inner self / outer self and understanding who I am, brings me around again and again to the idea that my conscious mind is the determinant for what happens in my life, but my conscious mind isn’t responsible for creating what happens in my life.  That falls to other aspects of my self.  And when I think about it, the issue that I bump up against over and over is the idea that the rest of my self finds the thoughts and ideas of my conscious mind worth listening to.  This goes back to the idea of duality, and seeing my conscious self as being separate and/ or less than my inner self.  However, by refusing to see the value of my own consciousness, or questioning whether other aspects of my self see my conscious mind/ ego as valuable, I devalue myself as a whole.  Hmmm…  Still something to work on.

A thought that came to me last night with regard to the desires I have is that I’ve always felt that they haven’t materialized because there was more for me to do – some belief to surrender, some new learning or understanding, some action to take, whatever.  But what came to me last night was to consider that maybe there is nothing more for me to do.  And recognizing that, recognizing that I AM, right now, in the perfect place to create every one of my desires, is the final spark that lights the flame.  Hmmm… again.

Okay, I’m going to sign out of this for tonight, but before I go, one final note, which is even when I turn my consciousness away from this inner work, it doesn’t leave.  As soon as I turn back, it’s right there, ready to continue.

Oh, I almost forgot.  I’ve been re-reading Frances Mayes’ book ‘A Year in the World’, and there were a couple of things I wanted to make note of.  The first was that as they travel – they’re in England at the moment, she’s involved with plants and gardens.  Page 214 makes mention of the fact that she planted some herbs by the kitchen door of the one house they were renting, for example.  And that got me thinking about Marcia and me and our history of planting and moving.  Every time we plant a garden, we move.  Every time we plant anything we move, or so it seems.  So how about reversing that?  Rather than planting at our home and then having to move our home to somewhere else, how about traveling from our home, and planting seeds where we travel?  Could be a tree planting exercise, a few herbs in a window pot, even a pot of flowers for someone, somewhere.  I really like this idea.

On page 237 (while in England), she wrote, “I’ve already been devouring Penelope Lively, whose memoir about growing up in Egypt I liked last year.  Since Lively knows this area, I read two novels, looking for clues about living here.  But I find that her writerly detachment from her adopted landscape keeps the place at a distance.  In Italy, I realize, I have not sought such detachment myself, although when I moved part of my life there, I intended to maintain just such a separation between home and Tuscany.  Italy would be a place to write, a place to have friends visit, a locus for travel.  Against my will, Italy slowly became home.  My long internal, secret desire to return to the American South, where I was born and grew up, slowly dissolved.  All of my adult life I’d felt exiled and I am shocked, but the south of Tuscany became home for me, who had no Italian ancestor, not a drop of Mediterranean blood.  By the time that happened I felt a strange rapture within.  Another landscape had taken over, taken me in, shaped me to its own requirements, pleasures, and history.  If I lived here, I probably would start making cheese and collecting teapots.  I have a feeling this place would take me.  I’d get heather-hued sweaters, a golden retriever, and a large umbrella, take up knitting, and become a strictly no-nonsense, practical village woman who volunteered at the church jumble sale.”

I don’t know that I’d want to take up residence in the Cotswolds of England, but then again, I’ve never been there.  What I love about this section, however, is the intimate connection to the land.  At the beginning of the book she wrote about travel as a way of immersing one’s self into the local culture, and that really fascinates me.  How much is possible to know in a few days or weeks or whatever is irrelevant here; I think the important thing is the willingness to try.  It seems to me that some people, ‘tourists’ see travel as akin to a visit to the zoo.  Stare at the funny creatures, don’t touch, and then move on.  Rather than diving into the scents, sounds, colours, movements, sounds of a place, they want to bring their idea of ‘home’ with them.  That’s not ‘wrong’ if that’s what interests them, but it’s not for me.  I want to breathe the differences in the air, feel the different angles of the sunlight, look up at different stars.  I love that idea!!

Okay.  Now I’m going to sign off, but I found this (rather long) Seth quote that I figured I’d stick in here:

“A continuation of our discussion on suffering.

“I feel sometimes as if I am expected to justify life’s conditions, when of course they do not need any such justification.

“Your beliefs close you off from much otherwise quite-available knowledge concerning man’s psychology – knowledge that would serve to answer many questions usually asked about the reasons for suffering. Other questions, it is true, are more difficult to answer. Men and women are born, however, with curiosity about all sensations, and about all possible life experiences. They are thirsty for experience of all kinds. Their curiosity is not limited to the pretty or the mundane.

“Men and women are born with a desire to push beyond the limits – to … ‘explore where no man has ever gone before’ – a bastard version of the introduction [to Star Trek], I believe. Men and women are born with a sense of drama, a need of excitement. Life itself is excitement. The quietest mood rides the thrust of spectacular molecular activity.

“You forget many of your quite natural inclinations, feelings, and inner fantasies as you mature into adults, because they do not fit into the picture of the kind of people, or experience, or species you have been taught to believe you are. As a result, many of the events of your lives that are the natural extensions of those feelings appear alien… against your deepest wishes, or thrust upon you, either by outside agencies or by a mischievous subconscious.

“The thoughts of children give excellent clues as to mankind’s nature, but many adults do not remember any childhood thoughts except those that fit, or seem to fit, in with their beliefs about childhood.

“Children play at getting killed. They try to imagine what death is like. They imagine what it would be like to fall from a wall like Humpty-Dumpty, or to break their necks. They imagine tragic roles with as much creative abandon as they imagine roles of which adults might approve. They are often quite aware of ‘willing’ themselves sick to get out of difficult situations – and of willing themselves well again (with humor).

“They quickly learn to forget their parts in such episodes, so that later, when as adults they find themselves ill they not only forget that they caused the illness to begin with, but unfortunately they forget how to will themselves well again.

“As I said, there are all ranges of suffering, and I am beginning this discussion, which I will continue now and then in between regular book dictation, in a very general manner. In times past in particular, though the custom is not dead, men purged themselves, wore ashes and beat themselves with chains, or went hungry or otherwise deprived themselves. They suffered, in other words, for religion’s sake. It was not just that they believed suffering was good for the soul – a statement which can or cannot be true, incidentally, and I will go into that later – but they understood something else: The body will only take so much suffering when it releases consciousness. So they hoped to achieve religious ecstasy.

“Religious ecstasy does not need physical suffering as a stimulus, and such a means in the overall will work against religious understanding. Those episodes, however, represent one of the ways in which man can actively seek suffering as a means to another end, and it is beside the point to say that such activity is not natural, since it exists within nature’s framework.

“Discipline is a form of applied suffering, as discipline is usually used. People are not taught to understand the great dimensions of their own capacity for experience. It is natural for a child to be curious about suffering, to want to know what it is, to see it – and by doing so he (or she) learns to avoid the suffering he does not want, to help others avoid suffering that they do not want, and to understand, more importantly, the gradations of emotion and sensation that are his heritage. [As an adult] he will not inflict pain upon others if he understands this, for he will allow himself to feel the validity of his own emotions.

“If you deny yourself the direct experience of your own emotions, but muffle them, say, through too-strict discipline, then you can hurt others much more easily, for you project your deadened emotional state upon them – as in the Nazi war camps [men] followed orders, torturing other people – and you do that first of all by deadening your own sensitivity to pain, and by repressing your emotions.

“Man’s vulnerability to pain helps him sympathize with others, and therefore helps him to more actively alleviate whatever unnecessary causes of pain exist in society.

“… Each person’s experience of a painful nature is also registered on the part of what we will call the world’s mind. Each say, failure, or disappointment, or unresolved problem that results in suffering, becomes a part of the world’s experience: This way or that way does not work, or this way or that way has been tried, with poor results. So in that way even weaknesses or failures of suffering are resolved, or rather redeemed as adjustments are made in the light of those data.

“In that regard, each person lives his or her life privately, and yet for all of humanity. Each person tries out new challenges, new circumstances, new achievements from a unique viewpoint, for himself or herself, and for the entire mass of humanity as well.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 1, session 896.

Love,
Me.
_____
December 15, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, I’m feeling rather aggressive this morning.  Woke up this morning feeling that there’s really no reason for ‘me’ being here.  What I mean by that is that from my perspective my conscious mind/ ego is responsible for providing information to my inner self on the conditions of my reality and to provide instruction to my self as to what experiences to create in my life.  Well, I’ve been doing that for more than a decade.  I’ve been VERY clear in terms of what I expect to see, what my dreams and desires are, and how I want my life to unfold, but none of that has happened.  I’m living in a world I don’t want to be, existing in a way I don’t want to live, with a body that’s not as healthy as it could be.  In short, my life is not that of a creator.  Now I’ve invested a lot of time over the years learning how to create my life, coming to understand who and what I am, and learning to be a conscious co-creator, but it’s all come to naught.  I’m in physical reality, so I’m told, to experience from a physical reality perspective.  Fine.  I accept that.  But since I know that I’m responsible for creating my reality, and since I know that I AM Source energy and I have the power to mould my life into what I want it to be – in fact that’s my purpose – then continuing to live as I am is a waste of my time.  If the rest of my Self isn’t going to listen to me, if my ideas and dreams and desires fall on hard ground, if my life is going to be what it is despite my intentions and desires, then I’m wasting my time here.  Now I’m not anxious to end this life, but as it is my life requires no conscious input.  My mind doesn’t need to be here.

I’m tired of feeling that I am less than the rest of my Self.  I’m tired of feeling that the only way I can experience my life is to force it into being.  I’m tired of feeling separated from the rest of my Self.  I’m tired of feeling that what ‘I’ want doesn’t count.  I’m tired of feeling that I’m not worth listening to or providing for.  I’m tired of having a body that has access to infinite amounts of energy and yet persists in having bad eyes and bad teeth.  I’m tired of being ineffectual in my own life.  I feel like I want to explode.  There’s so much anger and so much resentment and so much energy built up inside me that I’m ready to let it lash out and I don’t care what the consequences will be – like an earthquake or a forest fire.  I’m ready to rip my life to shreds, and more’s the pity for any part of my Self that gets in my way.  That’s what I’m feeling right now.

Am I allowing?  Yes.  Am I open?  Yes.  Have I sent off rockets of desire?  Yes.  Have I made it absolutely perfectly clear what I want to experience in my life?  Yes.  Have I received ANY SLIGHT INDICATION THAT THIS IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN? No.  And so what’s the point in continuing?  What’s the point in keeping on, keeping going?  What’s the point in asking for things that aren’t provided?  What’s the point in being infinite if I can’t express my infinity?  What’s the point in being AWAKE and AWARE while being confined into a ‘body’ that can’t move?  I’m right pissed off right now, and I’m not feeling like my consciousness is to blame here.  I’m past that.  I’m past feeling like I deserve this, or that this is all I can expect.  I’m worth more than this, and the rest of my Self had bloody well listen up.  So that’s my demand to All That I Am.  Either listen to me, either change my life and give me what I’ve been asking for, or end this life.  I’m not going to end my life because I feel it can be more than it is.  I know it can be.  But there’s no point continuing with my life as it is, when it can be lived without my input.  That’s it.  Either listen to me, provide what I tell myself I want to experience, or get me out of it.  I have had more than enough.

Well, that was this morning, and I’m not going to apologize, even to myself for writing it, because that’s what I felt at the time.  Been working with this question all day long, and looking for answers.  Well, tonight I followed an impulse to go to my Mnotes 4 file, and did my usual search for the right spot.  I came out at an interesting place, between a Seth quote and a CC quote, but both of them are relevant.

Here they are:

“Good evening.  Now: I have spoken about counterparts in Ruburt’s class.  Many of the students became deadly serious as they tried to understand the concept.

Some wanted me to identify their counterparts for them.  One student (Fred) a contractor, said little.  Instead, during the last week he let his own creative imagination go wherever it might while he held the general idea in his mind.  He played with the concept, then.  In a way his experiences were like those of a child – open, curious, filled with enthusiasm.  As a result he himself discovered a few of his counterparts.

Most people, however, are so utterly serious that they suspect their own creativity.  They expect that its products will be unreal or not valid in the physical world.  Yet there is a great correlation between what you think of as creativity, altered states of consciousness, play, and “spiritual” development.

When you create a poem or a song or a painting you are in a state of play, of enjoyment, of freedom.  You intend to make something different, to produce a new version of reality.  You create out of love, for the sake of the experience.  At one time or another almost everyone has that kind of experience, but children have it often.  They compose songs and music and paintings in their heads.  They alter the focus of their consciousnesses frequently.  They do not stop to ask whether or not the play is real or pertinent.  Physically, play develops their body mechanisms.  It also flexes the great capabilities of their minds.

When you think: “Life is earnest,” and decide to put away childish things, then often you lose sight of your own creativity and become so deadly serious that you cannot play, even mentally.  Spiritual development becomes a goal that must be attained.  The goal is to be achieved through hard work, and as long as you believe this you do not understand what the spirit is.

I keep returning to natural analogies – but plants do not work at developing their potential.  They are not beautiful because they believe it is their responsibility to please your eye.  They are beautiful because they love themselves and beauty.  When you are so serious, you almost always distort the nature of your own spirit as far as your own understanding of it is concerned.  You cannot let your guard down long enough to discover what it is.  You keep looking for new rules or regulations, or methods of discipline.

Give us a moment . . . You keep searching for a new “ascended master”, or guru, to keep you in line and point out THE WAY – in capitals.

In their own ways children are quite aware of their counterparts and of other portions of their individual realities.  They relate to their counterparts in dreams.  They sometimes see them as “invisible” companions.  You dream of your own counterparts frequently, but you are so afraid of maintaining what you think of as the rational adult self that you ignore such communications.

People have written here asking about soul mates.  In certain circles this is the latest vogue.  The idea is an old one: it is based upon the reality of counterparts, and presents another version of the theory.  But, again, it is treated with an almost pompous seriousness.  Many of those who use the term do it to hide rather than release their own joyful abilities.  They spend time searching for their soul mates – but the search involves them in a pilgrimage for a kind of impossible communication with another, in which all division is lost with the two of them trying to join in a cementing oneness, suffocating all sense of play or creativity.  You are not one part, or one half, of another soul, searching through the annals of time for your partner, undone until you are completed by your soul mate.

When you become too intent to maintain your reality you lose it, for you deny the creativity upon which it rests.

Many of you have daydreams in which you actually see yourselves as your counterparts, and portions of their lives sometimes come through to you as you go about your chores.

You pay little heed, however.  You think this is just your “imagination.”  The unknown reality is alive in your own psyche.  There are hints of it in all of your experience.  You would not be alive, in your terms, if first you did not imagine yourself as you are.  Play is, in fact, one of the most practical methods of survival, both individually and for the species.  Within its framework lie the secrets of creativity, and within the secrets of creativity lie the secrets of being”. – The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. II, Session 732.

And

“Every restriction you feel and experience in the physical is a restriction you have placed psychologically upon the self. We do not think it can be more clearly stated than this. And each person chooses the vehicles, the methods, the ways in which they will interact with the world. That is, how they will achieve the results they are seeking. What forms are acceptable or not acceptable. The mechanics of how their own personal reality functions.”

“Becoming conscious simply means becoming aware of your thoughts and choosing the thoughts you will entertain. Another way to look at this is the same way you look at drawing a picture. You choose the materials you will use, the colors, different materials, the markers, pencils etc. Sometimes the drawing appears. You draw the lines and wait to see what you get. Making choices as you go. Sometimes you choose a subject first and attempt a rendering of that subject. Either way you are drawing. One is more full of surprises than the other. One is more predictable. The predictable work may seem to be more difficult to accomplish, precisely because you have preconceived ideas about the nature of its being. Ideally, you can choose the subject intuitively and then allow the drawing to emerge by following impulses that flow naturally one to the other. In this way you remove the rational mind from the process as director. It becomes the observer. It’s quite an easeful and simple process, and yet achieving it can sometimes seem difficult. It’s not the individual lines that make up the picture but the over all effect of all the lines.”

And in these I’ve found my answer.  It’s simple, really, but complex at the same time.  The answer is joy.  Every moment I invest in joy, I am open and allowing.  And every moment I’m not in joy, I’m closed off.  My answer to providing what I desire is not in serious study.  It’s not in learning about the intricacies of the universe.  It’s not in applying myself judiciously to my task.  It’s about living in joy.  By living in joy I bring to myself more things that are joyful.  By being serious, I bring a life of seriousness.  The rest is details.  In Shore Slocum’s interview he asked, “What do you love so much you’d do it for free?”  And the answer for me is that the things I love so much I’d do for free, I couldn’t see a way of making money from.  I love living at my dream home.  I love to make photographs, just as my way of connecting with the earth.  I love cycling, and walking in the woods.  I love to read.  I love to cook.   I love to be around Marcia.  I love to shop for things I want.  I love to buy things.  I love to travel.  I love fast cars and fancy hotels.  I love good food.  I love sunrises and sunsets and children’s laughter.  I love to play.  There are a whole lot of things I love, but none of them fit the mould of life in this society, where one has to work to make money to pay bills…  And so in doing the things I love I’ve also felt guilty because it meant someone else was providing for me – someone else was doing things she didn’t want to do to make money so that I could do what I wanted to do.   And so I’ve felt like I shouldn’t be doing the things I want to do, that I should be buckling down and looking for work instead.  And I’ve parceled out my happiness a little bit at a time, and created excuses on why I couldn’t find work, and really what I’ve wanted is the money to be able to live in this society without working, so that both Marcia and I can do the things we love.  That’s joy to me.  That’s perfection as I see it.  And imagining those things brings me joy, but I’ve lost the sense of joy when it comes to translating those imagined ideas into physical reality.  I love the idea of being wealthy in this reality. I love the idea of giving money to others, of creating a business where others are valued and happy, of working with the latest green building techniques.  I love the idea of taking photography courses, and working with my new cameras.  This brings me great joy!  I love spending long, lazy mornings in bed with Marcia.  I love having a house to work on – not too much, just little things here and there.  I love teaching other people what I’ve learned, and learning from them.  But what I need to surrender here is the idea that I can’t live the life I want to live in this reality because it doesn’t fit with what everyone else is doing.  Find joy in every moment.  That’s my instruction to myself.  I like it!  Find joy in doing what I’m doing, and stop worrying about how it’s going to happen and when the money is going to show up.  This connects to what I was reading yesterday in the CC writings.  Hang on a second…

“Recognizing What Is Yours, Integrity and Compromise, Necessity of Experiential Understanding

What you are seeing now is the clarity of your understanding of the situation of what it is to be in physical expression. Moving past the self-imposed dramas of acting in any way against what is yours or against what is you brings this clarity into focus. So that what is yours feels joyous and harmonious and that which is not feels more or less like death. Choices have become very clear and simple.

You should understand at this time that any doubt or sense of confusion within the self is only an illusion you have created on top of a truth that is plainly visible to you. That is to say, should you find yourselves questioning yourselves you are simply toying with yourselves. We do not recommend this. So stop toying. For truly you have had enough of toying. Honestly and truly. Your deep sense at this time of what is possible and your clear understanding of your power and position in this regard is your greatest strength. Do not capitulate this strength to any outside force, belief, idea, or persons. Recognize that your opportunities to express these ideas to others can be used as a tool to clarify and strengthen your position, and use it this way. For now you truly are in a place where you CAN use all experience, thought, and evidence to your advantage. You CAN believe, you can KNOW that all is working together for your good. To the extent that you acknowledge this – walk within this experience and know this truth in your being. It will, out of necessity, be experienced.”

There’s more, but that one sentence – ‘…what is yours feels joyous and harmonious and that which is not feels more or less like death.’  That’s what I’m talking about.

Live in joy, and never, ever let anyone tell me otherwise.

Lesson for the day.

Love,
Me.

“You must understand that your present is the point at which flesh and matter meet with the spirit. Therefore the present is your point of power in your current lifetime, as you think of it. If you assign greater force to the past, then you will feel ineffective and deny yourself your own energy.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 656.

_____
December 18, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, today is our 169^th Monthaversary of being a couple.  Happy Layers Day!!  Truly an event worth celebrating.  It’s also Thursday, which means I’m downtown for the seminar at the Bohemian once again.  Today’s talk should be a good one, with readings by people of different faiths.  Unfortunately, the Café Coffee is closed until January 5^th for renovations, so no Nonni’s Biscotti today!  Bummer…  So I’m at Blenz instead because they have comfy chairs here.  The removed the comfy chairs from the Starbucks across from Mosaic Books so I’m boycotting them!  Okay, no, not really, but I do like having a comfy chair to sit in when I write.

So, as per my latest writings, for the past few days I’ve been focusing more on joy as my purpose for being, and it’s brought some good results.  I’m still in here, but I’ve had some wonderful, expected and unexpected things happen.  We received a cheque from Terasen for $193.57, for example, and our Star Choice bill has been paid.  I feel better overall, lighter would be a good word to use.  Came across a pair of wonderful YouTube videos through Emmy on NWV called, ‘The Beckoning of Lovely’ and sent them out to friends and family.

And it’s winter here!  Got up to –10°C today, although it’s been down to –23°C within the past couple of days.  We’ve gotten about 15-20 cm of snow, too.  Needless to say, most Kelowna people aren’t happy with this, but the extra moisture in the ground will be appreciated next year and so far I haven’t heard of any major accidents in town.  People are driving more carefully.  Arthur from the strata mentioned that Kelowna got down to –35°C once, years ago as I understand.  Even Victoria is getting snow!  Not much, but a lot for Victoria.

Something that came to me today when I was in the shower was about choice, and while I’ve given thought before to living based on my choices, what came to me today was to consider a world where everyone is living based on their choices.  Of course that happens anyway, but it was interesting to think of a world where choices determine what people do, how they feel, how they act, etc. and everyone is aware of it.  It’s the opposite of Shore’s ‘To Me’ stance, where people live their lives as though everything was a consequence of forces beyond their control.  Imagine a world where everyone in my life is aware of the choices they’re making and accepts the results of those choices.  No resistance, no fighting back at the system or society, none of that.  And living with one’s choices also means accepting the choices of others whether or not one agrees with them.  There is no judgement in this world.  Thinking back over my own life, I can see clearly how my actions and the circumstances of my life were defined by my choices of who I thought I had to be, how the world had to work, what others expected of me (or rather what I chose to believe people expected of me), etc.  Amazing stuff.  The CC writings talk about choices a lot, and it makes sense to me.  And even now, I’m defining myself by what I believe is possible and the choices I make.  Interesting that as I wrote that I almost wrote, “the choices I believe are possible to make.”  And that got me thinking about potential.  See, I’ve always thought of myself as being ‘here’ in comparison to who I used to be, and since I’ve been on a journey to expand my sense of ‘self’, I’ve seen my potential as some future possibility, some greatly expanded self that is more open, more awake and aware than I am now.  This potential self is someone I aspire to be.  But – and there had to be a ‘but’ there – that potential self is me.  I’ve seen that potential self as someone, somewhere in the future, but why not be that person now?  Why not simply claim that knowledge, know I have it, and accept that?  It shifts my view from acquiring knowledge by learning it and then absorbing it over time to simply having it and acknowledging that I do.  Again, it comes down to choices.  What is my interest?  Is my interest in learning new ways of being, or is my interest in having that knowledge so I can apply it in my life?  Hmmm…  I’ve always been interested in learning because I thought it was the only way for me to acquire the knowledge I need to go forth.  But if it’s just ‘there’, then I have it, a la Matrix.  Is that too easy?  Would that be a problem if it were?  Who said life has to be hard, anyway?

Reminds me of this Abraham quote I came across:

“You have to find a way to be all right with thriving because you are always going to want to thrive… The economy is moving forward in response to the desires of people. And depriving yourself of something does not make more money for someone else to spend… If there were not people who were purchasing things, then all of the people who are working at manufacturing and marketing them would have to find some other ways of making their living… There are so many people who innately want to thrive, who as soon as they begin thriving a little, begin imposing all of these exterior judgements about how much thriving is appropriate, “It’s appropriate to thrive that much, but not that much.” And you have to ask yourself, “At what point do I lose the balance of thriving?” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Love,
Me.
_____
December 19, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Today is our 190^th Monthaversary of the day we met, on a hillside in Peterborough!!

Well, before I get started, or maybe as a way of getting started, I wanted to add in a note here.  After talking with Marcia this evening, we agreed on the distribution of various funds – to bills, to her account/ my account, etc.  So, I went to the bank online, but Sxipper wasn’t entering the form information properly so I signed in manually.  Paid the bills, transferred funds to my borrowing account, etc. then picked up the phone and called Marcia’s bank and transferred money to her account and to her borrowing account.  All done and confirmed.

About 45 minutes later I thought that the Sxipper entry form needed to be retrained, so I did that and signed back in to the bank.  NONE of the transactions had taken place.  Closed out, called Marcia’s bank – ditto.  Neither of the transfers had been made, and neither of them showed up in the transaction logs!  Definitely a twilight zone moment!!  Funny, when I first turned on the computer I came across this message from Jane Roberts:

“Options and alternate models for selfhood and civilizations exist in a psychic pattern of probabilities from which we can choose to actualize an entirely new life system.” ~ Psychic Politics, The Codicils.

Okay, a couple of things quickly before I sign off and go to bed because it’s already 12:44 and that’s not p.m.  The first is that I was thinking about being in our dream home and cooking in the kitchen, but I was thinking about it from the perspective of being sometime in the future.  I received this one word question: “Why?”  Stopped me cold.  Why indeed?!?  I live there now.

And that brings me to the second item up for bid today, which actually has a few parts to it, but boils down to one thing.  I was reading through some old notes and also looking at ‘This Thing Called You’ today, and a couple of things jumped out.  First, from Ernest Holmes, was a thought I’d recorded before.  And that is that God has no problems, only solutions.  And that means I have no problems, only questions that already have answers.  And so when I ask myself about receiving something, I don’t need to see it as a problem because it isn’t.  It’s just a question and the answer is already known.  And the answer is formatted in a way that is pleasing to me because that’s important.  It brings me back to joy, to seeking joy and to being a creator.  I am an infinite being.  And that brings me to the second item, which was predicated by an article written by Kristen Fox called ‘The Truth About Love’.  I’ve read that article before, but I read it again today and especially the part where she realized she had felt a huge surge of love and was afraid of it.  And she realized she was afraid of it because of a belief that said that if she gave in to it, ‘she’ would cease to exist.  And that got me thinking about my own thoughts on that, going back to my connections to my inner self and all of the twists and turns that has led me through.  Basically my belief has been that if I truly let down my guard, relax, open and let Spirit carry me, then doing so will remove me from the driver’s seat so to speak, my inner self will take over my life and I’ll be left as a passenger with no say in the matter.  And so to prevent that happening I’ve built a wall that only allows so much through, and then, to really complicate things, gone off on a search to find out how to achieve this same result from an outer physical perspective using only the tools at my disposal.  Now there are so many things wrong with this idea I don’t even know where to begin, but that’s it in a nutshell.

And so I’ve decided to block out my inner self on the grounds that part of my self would want to take over, and then gone on to tell myself that having done so also closes me off to the vast resources of All That Is, leaving me with only the resources of my ego/ conscious mind.  And to really muss things up I’ve decided that my ego/conscious mind only have access to certain layers or levels of knowledge and ability?  Yeah, something like that.

Okay, so what needs to change, besides everything?  First of all, I need to accept that my ego/ conscious mind is more and is capable of more than I’ve so far been willing to believe.  That alone breaks down a number of walls.  As came to me recently, ‘I’ am Source energy.  Every thought, idea, every understanding, every component of my consciousness is Source.  And so from a conscious mind perspective, I’m not the limited being I’ve believed myself to be.  In fact I’ve proven that to myself over and over again.  So that’s one restriction gone.  I am creating my life, and not just living in this world.  Then we come to the concern about really opening up and allowing my own energies to shine.  For this I have to go back to a time when I saw my inner self, my whole self and my physically-focused self as being three connected but distinct entities, and there was a built-in hierarchical structure to this as well.  I believed it so strongly I made it true for myself, but is it intrinsically true, or is there even such a thing as intrinsically true?  If everything I believe to be true is true, for me, then there is no baseline.  There is no absolute truth or falseness, no right or wrong.  There are only choices, as I’ve written recently.  And furthermore, because choice exists there are no permanent decisions.  There is only choice, in every moment.  And in every moment I can either maintain my choices or change them.  So, I’m back to where I’ve been before, but also not at the same time.  I’ve never been ‘here’ before, although I’ve been in similar places.  And my choice now is to decide to truly live, to truly accept my own power, to fully accept that my inner self/ whole self/ All That Is have no designs on running my life, because if those aspects of my self were responsible for creating this reality, I wouldn’t have to be here, and I am.  In fact, those aspects of my self are reliant on me for connection to this reality, to this facet of my existence.  In short, ‘I’ am needed, and wanted.  Is that true?  It is, for me, for as long as I choose it to be true.  And I’ve seen the results of what happens when I close off to Source.  It’s like refusing to breathe.  And that’s not a good feeling.  Perhaps better for a time to see my inner self as an equal partner in this adventure.  Neither leading nor following, but coming along with me and the combined efforts of All That I Am leading to the best possible outcome.  I know that I have to do this and right now I’m willing to give into it, fully and completely.  I trust myself completely.  Therefore I release all pre-conceptions and judgements of this situation, acknowledge that I too have a voice and it’s worth expressing my opinions.

Okay, it’s 1:20 and I’m really tired, so I’m going to pack it in for now.

Love,
Me.
_____

Hi There:

Welcome back.  I’ve had several new ideas come to me lately, but I haven’t yet taken the time to write them down.  I wanted to add in some more information from last year because often when I read [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  I’ve had several new ideas come to me lately, but I haven’t yet taken the time to write them down.  I wanted to add in some more information from last year because often when I read stuff from ‘Future Me‘ I find that what I’m writing about now is very similar to things I wrote a year ago.  Sometimes I get upset at that because I feel that I’m still going over the same ground over and over again and not getting anywhere, but other times I figure that I’m now looking at these issues from an entirely new perspective.  As Tom Brown Jr. says, it’s important not to get caught in the rut of ‘the same old thing’.  So, in my recent writings I’ve been writing a lot about joy and experiencing life as joy, and when I look back a year I see that I was writing about joy then too.  Each time I approach this it seems like a new discovery.  Maybe it is…

Love,
Mike.
_____
December 2, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Okay, two things to write about today.  I woke up this morning with a thought running through my head that I’ve been lying to everyone, especially myself about the way things are in my life and because of that I have to stay here and I can’t move forward with my life, and on and on and on…  Bullshit.  Pure BS but I’ve been telling that lie to everyone because I didn’t feel I could tell them that what I want is a nice quiet life where I read, walk write, work on the computer, make photographs, go kayaking, travel, etc.  And so I’ve ‘pushed’ all of this away from me and said, ‘Well, it’s not my fault.’  More bullshit.  A well-rehearsed and oft-repeated lie.  It goes back to when I believed my inner self was working against me, and from those days I’ve been relying on, waiting for, pleading with the Universe, Source Energy, All That Is, etc. to help me.  With little result.

And small wonder, too!  Like the poem, ‘And a Meadowlark Sang’ I’ve been given answers, insights, revelations, education, pointers, support, etc.  I have chosen not to move forward largely because I’ve believed that doing so would mean doing things I don’t want to do, that getting what I want would demand sacrifices beyond what I was willing to make.  And as Seth would say, no matter what I’ve told myself I haven’t believed that I create my own experience.  I’ve found ways to deny it, trotted out excuses hidden behind beliefs, anything to prevent myself from actually receiving what I’ve asked myself to provide.  And this isn’t about anyone else, not about my inner self, my whole Self, Source, the Universe, or All That Is.  This is all about ‘me’, the me that I’ve known myself to be.  And this isn’t a tirade against myself or anyone else, either.  It’s actually a very good thing.  I am a very, very powerful creator.  And I’ve demonstrated that by doing exactly what I’ve warned others about.  I am such a powerful creator I’ve been using that power to create a reality where I pretend I don’t have any power.  I have become a very powerful deny-er.

I am a creator.  I’m not an exchanger or a borrower.  I am no longer denying myself.  I am a creator.  And I feel that today I have taken a giant step toward understanding what that means.  One thing I’ve realized today is that with all I’ve understood about creative abilities, I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface.  And it’s a very deep ocean.

I am a creator.  I’m responsible for every moment of my life, for every experience and every event.  Because of my past, because of my background, because of my beliefs – for whatever reason – I’ve seen this creative ability as a burden, not as a gift.  And yes, I’ve been incredibly foolish.

I feel like I’m waking up from a dream.  And it’s not as if I now have to learn how to use these creative abilities; I’ve been doing that all along.  Badly perhaps, but still creatively.  And when I step back and look back over the past several years, I can see that even the help I’ve received has been in a way I would accept.  I’ve set the parameters for all of this.  This complete freedom – to be an idiot, to be restrictive, to turn away from and refuse the help that was offered – all of it has been my parameters.  Now that is complete freedom.  That’s what I wanted.  I’ve also had the ability, in every moment, to allow more, to open up to help, to let myself be the infinite being that I am.  And the most important thing in all of this, so far as I can see, is two-fold.  On one side, from my conscious mind/ ego perspective is that I never gave up.  I always held myself to following through, to believing in myself, even in spite of contrary evidence.  I kept questioning, kept searching, kept asking and kept listening.  It’s been a lot of years since I left the government, since those first days when I opened those heavy dungeon doors into my past.  It’s been about some years too since I first read ‘The God of Jane’ and got back into Seth again.  And here I am.  I feel like I’ve walked through a long, dark tunnel and finally emerged onto a vast, open plain of infinite potential.  Where do I go from here?  Wherever I want to.  I’m creating every moment of my life.

Here’s a quote from the Seth stuff I posted yesterday that fits in here perfectly.  A good reminder:

“Even when you lost sight – as you knew you would – of those deep [inner] connections, they would continue to operate until, in its own way, man’s consciousness could rediscover the knowledge and put it to use – deliberately and willfully, thereby bringing that consciousness to flower. In your terms this would represent a great leap, for the egotistically aware individual would fully comprehend unconscious knowledge and act on his own, out of choice. He would become a conscious co-creator. Obviously, this has not as yet occurred.” ~ The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. 1, session 688.

I’m learning that ‘I’ means more than my conscious self and that all of ‘me’ is Source.  Infinity has no divisions.  I’m proud of myself and all that I’ve accomplished.  I’m looking forward to a life created in joy.  I am so powerful that I’m happy to accept and work with a power that has no limits.  I’m selfish enough to be happy, first and foremost.  I feel a little like Oversoul 7 at the end of book 2, right after his teacher yells at him!

I am a powerful being.  I am a creator, becoming a more conscious creator every day.  I’m doing this for me.  Others are welcome to learn for themselves from my example, just as I take in the teachings and learning of others, but I’m going to give them the same freedom I’ve given myself – freedom to succeed, freedom to fail, and most of all, freedom to choose.  It may sound like a rather aloof stance, but I believe it’s more loving than anything else, coming from a place of inner strength.  As for me, I choose a life where I don’t waste one more day, one more second experiencing anything I don’t want.  Funny, as I wrote that I thought that in (my view of) this society, people have a harder time accepting someone for whom everything goes right than they do someone for whom everything goes wrong…  Definitely time to change that view!

Love,
Me.

A couple of Abraham quotes to round things out…

Those that we see who are living long lives don’t do so without powerful intent that keeps drawing. In other words, what continues the motion forward itself is the continuing setting forth of the new intent that draws life through. In fact, intending for long life assures that you must be leading the parade; people don’t start diminishing their life until they stop leading and start falling back into the ranks of the parade, trying to do what others are leading them to do. ~ Abraham-Hicks

If you’re not selfish enough to want to feel good, then you can’t connect with the energy that is your Source which does always feel good. ~ Abraham-Hicks

_____
December 4, 2008
Hello, Michael:

An Abraham quote to get started:

Any time you have physical discomfort of any kind, whether you call it emotional, or physical pain within your body, it always, always means the same thing: “I have a desire that is summoning Energy, but I have a belief that is not allowing so I’ve created resistance in my body.” The solution, every single time, to the releasing of discomfort, or pain — is the relaxation and the reaching for the feeling of relief. ~ Abraham- Hicks

Well, it’s Thursday and I’ve come downtown for the talk at the Bohemian.  At the moment I’m at the Café Coffee, across from the library.  When I arrived there was a pair of mallards at the door.  “Customers?” I asked as I stepped inside.  They must be used to handouts – hopefully lettuce and tomatoes and not pastries.

I have a couple of thoughts to record here.  Actually, before I get to that I want to add that I ordered a large Americano and a biscotti.  I think it’s the best biscotti I’ve had, ever, and their idea of a large Americano is a double shot of expresso served in a glass beer stein; probably the biggest cup of coffee I’ve ever had.  They put the water in first then infuse the expresso on top.  They have this fancy electronic machine that grinds the beans then pours out the shot.  Love the technique!

Okay, on with the show…  Just after I got into bed last night I remembered a part of a Seth quote about not expecting obstacles but growing with a wild, creative, aggressive abandon.  Or something like that.  Let me find it.  Okay, here’s the quote:

“The state of grace is a condition in which all growth is effortless, a transparent, joyful acquiescence that is a ground requirement of all existence. Your own body grows naturally and easily from its time of birth, not expecting resistance but taking its miraculous unfolding for granted; using all of itself with great, gracious, creatively aggressive abandon.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 636.

It’s one of my favourites, so I’d do to remember it!  Anyway, it got me thinking about the path I’m on, and how many obstacles I’ve expected and put in my own path, simply because I thought they were necessary.  I don’t know if I’ve added this to my notes or not, but I was thinking about my tendency to overcomplicate things and it came to me that since I believed I was only valued for my intellect, then I had to put it to good and constant use.  Only by doing so could I fulfill my idea that I had value.

Okay, now tying those two together, I came to what I’ve always wanted, which is to use my intellect in a very different way than I have been.  Because the way I have been using my intellect has been to consider options, if/then scenarios, contingencies, etc.  I’ve invested a lot of time and energy dealing with problems I’ve believed existed, and therefore created for myself.  By recognizing that there are no obstacles that aren’t self-created (double negative… so what!), I can choose not to engage in obstacles at all.  And that leaves me with the freedom, time and energy to engage my mind in other pursuits – much more wild, creative, aggressive pursuits, as it were.  I’m still finding old ideas that I once held to wholeheartedly coming to the surface, things like ‘Religion means nothing to a starving man.’  That’s probably true, but I don’t need to be a starving man.  I am a creator, expressing myself out into many areas of experience, including this reality.  Just think of all I can turn my attention to, once I decide there’s nothing I have to deal with first.  It’s exciting, and I’ve been finding myself excited more and more.

There are a lot of subtle changes as well.  By seeing intention as action, I’m less concerned about not taking action toward my goals, because I am.  By seeing myself as the creator of my experiences, I don’t need to worry about what I’m encountering in my life.  My ideas of what life is are changing.  I’m more willing to follow my own ideas and less interested in whether or not they fit with anyone else’s patterns.  I’ve become more aware of how much I compared myself to others, seeing to know how I was different or similar and by how much.  I’m satisfying myself, and in being satisfied, allowing others to be satisfied with themselves as well.

And that brings me to another idea that came to me, especially with regard to not creating obstacles.  What I’m talking about is ‘permission’.  Growing up as I did, with such strict controls on my life, what was allowed or not allowed was a big deal and getting permission for something was paramount.  As I began looking at my relationships with my self, I transposed those same ideas onto the various aspects of my self.  Not only did I expect difficulties, but I was also looking for permission from myself to do, well, everything.  Interesting to look back ten or twenty years and see who I used to be.  But as I recognize that “I” am Source energy and not just a product of a creation of something more powerful than I am, then permission becomes irrelevant.  Choice is the only parameter.

Here’s a Seth quote I uncovered today:

“… The soul is open-ended, therefore. It is not a closed spiritual or psychic system. I have tried to show you that the soul is not a separate, apart-from-you thing. It is no more divorced from you than-capital-God is.

“There is no need to create a separate god who exists outside of your universe and separate from it, nor is there any need to think of a soul as some distant entity. God, or All That Is, is intimately a part of you. ‘His’ energy forms your identity, and your soul is a part of you in the same manner.

“My own reincarnational personalities, probable selves, and even Seth Two exist within me now, as I exist within them. In your terms, Seth Two is more advanced. In your terms, he is more alien, since he cannot relate to your physical existence as well as I do because of my background in it.

“Still, my experience enriches Seth Two, and his experiences enrich me to the extent that I am able to perceive and translate them for my own use. In the same way, Ruburt’s [Jane’s] personality is expanded through relationship with me, and I also gain through the experience, as even the best of teachers learns from each dimension of activity.

“In larger terms, my soul includes my reincarnational personalities, Seth Two, and probable selves. I am as aware of my probable selves, incidentally, as I am of my reincarnational existences. Your concept of the soul is simply so limited. I am not really speaking in terms of group souls, though this interpretation can also be made.

“Each ‘part’ of the soul contains the whole – a concept I am sure will startle you. As you become more aware of your own subjective reality you will therefore, become familiar with greater portions of your own soul. When you think of the soul as a closed system you perceive it as such, and close off from yourself the knowledge of its greater creativity and characteristics.

“Seth Two does represent what I will become, to some extent, and in your terms, yet when I become what he is he will be something different. In the same terms now, only, Ruburt [Jane] may become what I am, but then I will be something far different.

“Each of you are involved in the same kind of relationships, whether or not you are aware of them. Though it seems to you that reincarnational existences involve past and future events, they are existences parallel or adjacent to your own present life and consciousness. Other aspects of your greater identity exist, relatively speaking, about or around these.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 589.

I’m still in awe, not only of the complexity of what I am discovering about myself to be, but also of the true power of choice.  Actually, I was thinking about that Buddhist saying ‘There are no rights or wrongs, only consequences’ and I wondered if maybe there was a mistranslation somewhere, with the real quote being ‘There are no rights or wrongs, only choices’.  If not, I’ll create a new expression instead.

The next related idea, tying into permission and power, is the belief I had that other people should provide for me things like money, food, shelter, etc. because it freed me to focus on other things.  That’s not a bad idea in and of itself, but coupled with that idea was that I then became dependent on that person or persons to provide for me.  Couple that with the surrounding ideas of permission, power over, etc and it added up to an untenable situation and also an unnecessary one.  Especially when it conflicts so directly with my ideas of infinity.  Because being a creator means I’ve created every aspect of my life as I want it to be or expect it to be.  Nothing is a big deal and everything comes easily.  Why is it so surprising to me that the natural way of being should be so simple and yet so complex?  An elegant simplicity; that’s a much better way of putting it.

Love,
Me.
_____
December 5, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Today’s Abraham quote to get us started…

Say yes to whatever it is. Because if you say yes to it and then you get in the middle of it, and you say, “Uh oh, this isn’t really turning out the way I wanted it to,” then out of that is born another desire. And as you say yes to that, then it turns out. And you say, “Well, it’s still not quite right.” So you have another desire… Until eventually you get it exactly right. You cannot get it wrong. No creation is ever complete. Just do it. ~ Abraham-Hicks

Well, an interesting day today; I’ve had several thoughts running through my head.  One is from Seth’s quote, “The unconscious accepts the orders given to it by the conscious mind.”  I’ve read that before, argued with it, come to accept it, but I was thinking about it last night and it has a very simple but profound message for me – that the conscious mind not only gives orders to the unconscious self, but that the conscious mind is capable of giving orders to the unconscious self.  It seems that almost everyone picks on the conscious mind/ ego as being the black sheep of the family – the one who is less, the one who knows less, the smallest, weakest part of the Self.  Now, not everybody suggests this; Abraham is a notable exception.  And some of the CC writings say that the conscious mind is capable of knowing everything that is known by the inner self.  But basically people seem to feel that the conscious mind/ ego needs to be done away with, bypassed, surpassed, etc.  Granted, this has to be based on my own expectation for it to apply to me.  I first heard of this back in the 70s probably, and while I eventually disagreed with and fought against the idea, I never completely refuted it.  I’ll do so now.  It was only very recently that I recognized my conscious mind/ ego as Source energy – as the same Source energy that comprises everything.

Now, of course, in recognizing that my conscious mind/ ego is not some evil deviant separate from the rest of my Self – and really, how could it be (but beliefs don’t question) – then I now have a place to honour and acknowledge ‘me’ as being on the leading edge of creativity, as Abraham says.  That’s a very different place to be.  My conscious mind/ ego, by believing in my own undesirability, has been abdicating the responsibility for making choices about my existence in this reality – the very role I came here to express.  I’m moving forward now with a new sense of purpose.

I went looking for an Abraham quote about ‘leading edge creators’, and came across this very long one.  I’m going to add it in because I think it’s worth reading again.

“Good morning. We are extremely pleased that you are here. It is good to come together for the purpose of co-creating, do you agree? You are knowing what you are wanting? It changes … eternally evolving. You are enjoying the evolution of your desire? You like that feeling of a fresh new awareness, a new desire coming into your consciousness? That feeling of adventure and wonder, delight with a new idea? Yes? Not so much?

If the new idea or desire breathes life into you, then we suspect that you have reconnected with your inner knowing. But if the new desire tortures you a little, antagonizes you, if when you have a desire that isn’t fulfilled you feel uncomfortable in its not-yet manifestation, then you still have not remembered that you are leading-edge creators and that you will never get it done, that there will always be a fresh new desire. When you realize that you are leading-edge creators and that the new desire that is born within you is literally what summons life to you, then you no longer feel frustration about what is not yet manifested. Instead you feel appreciation for the life-giving desire that still summons through you.

But we understand how when you have not consciously addressed the subject of resistance within your own vibration how new desires could sometimes not feel so good. Because when you really want something and you cannot for the life of you figure out how to bring it about, if you’ve got something that is plaguing you, something that you’d dearly love to get rid of and just can’t seem to rid yourself of, we understand how you might be out of balance with the idea of desire, so much so that you might even begin to condemn it, begin to say that desire is inappropriate – which is odd since the entire Universe is based upon this attraction-based effect where desire is born and it has the summoning capability that literally summon life force forward which keeps us all moving forward. It is so much more comfortable when you get in synch with the laws of the Universe. It doesn’t work too well when you jump off the cliff determined to defy gravity, and it doesn’t work too well when you go against the stream, or flow, of Source.

That’s what resistance is. Resistance is not going with the flow of your own well-being. Most clear statement we’ve ever made. Resistance is not going with the flow of your own natural wellbeing. Well-being flows, and when you are in alignment with it you feel wonderful. And when you are not in alignment with it, you don’t feel so good. So anger is you not going with the flow of wellbeing. Frustration is you not going with the flow of well-being. Fear is you not going with the flow of well-being.

So you say “How can I stand in this condition, knowing what I know and observing what I observe, and not feel these negative emotions?” And we say you have to practice. You have to decide that *you’re* going to be in charge of how you vibrate, *you’re* going to be in charge of how you feel. You’re not going to be buffeted about like a cork on a raging sea. You’re going to practice your vibration so that *you* can determine how you vibrate, how you flow, how you attract.

Through time, as you’ve been interacting with one another, as you’ve been responding to the circumstances that surround you, you have developed some vibrational patterns. And many of them serve you. Many of your vibrational patterns are vibrational patterns of positive expectation. We look at those of you who are in this environment and we notice how magnificently you expect.

Your standard of living is superb. You expect life to go well, to a certain extent. And what we’re wanting to assist you in doing is expecting it to go well in all regards. We want you to get so good at thinking thoughts deliberately, at setting your own tone, that *you* get to decide what your dominant vibration is about the subjects that are important to you, rather than having let something when you were three set the tone and you just keep doing it or something that mass consciousness is thinking about set the tone. We want you to get so good at choosing what your dominant vibration is that under all conditions you offer it.

That’s a key word that we are offering you here – dominant vibration – because you all have dominant vibrations relative to major subjects in your experience, and some of your dominant vibrations are serving you and some of your dominant vibrations are not serving you.

For example, when you think about the subject of dollars or financial abundance, do you feel adventurous and eager and unlimited or do you feel worried and uncertain and limited? You know! Some of you may say ‘well I feel some of all of that’ and we say yes, you do, but you know which is dominant. You can tell which way that leans. You know.

When you think about your major relationship, the most significant relationship, the one that you think about the most or the one you interact with the most, does that relationship feel like fun and life-giving, or does it feel like struggle and hard work. You know.

When you think about your physical body, does it feel flexible and strong, and sure-footed, or do you feel tentative and uncertain. You know.

Relative to every subject that you ponder, and especially those major subjects, you have little by little by little by little by little developed vibrational patterns – you could call them ‘beliefs’ – we don’t want to give them too much weight – habits of thought that you keep thinking. And the reason that you keep thinking them is because you haven’t decided to think otherwise and so the thought that you think you think which attracts to it so you think it some more which attracts to it so you think it some more which attracts to it so you think it some more.

IOW, when you have an expectation, you’ve got a dominant thought going on and LOA is going to deliver that to you again and again and again.

And you say “The reason that I believe this is because it is true!”

And we say the reason that you believe it is because you’ve practiced the thought, because all that a belief is, is a thought that you keep practicing.

And you say “But the reason I believe it is because it is true!”

And we say “And why is it true?” It is because you think it. It is because somewhere you got the thought, you held the thought, you let it become dominant in your vibration, LOA responded to that vibration and made it evidential in your experience.

And so you say, “It’s true!”

And what we are wanting you to come to realize is you can make well-being “true”. Or you can make not-well-being true. Cancer is “true”. It’s just not usually wanted. Violence is “true”; it’s just not usually wanted.

And we want you to begin to realize that “facing the facts” because they are “true” only perpetuates the “truth” you would not choose for yourself.

So when you begin to think about the dominant thoughts that you have, and more importantly, you begin to think about *choosing* thoughts that you want to make dominant, we have a process for you that will work if you will work it. And we call it “the process of Virtual Reality”. You’ve played this game under other titles. We’ve called it “creative visualization”. We’ve called it “using your imagination”.

Virtual Reality is a game where, like a director of a movie, you set the scene – you know what you want your audience to feel, and so you set them up for it.

You make it winter or you make it summer. You put it in the mountains or you put it on the ocean or you put it on the beach. You put it outdoors or you put it indoors. You make it daytime. You make it nighttime. IOW, you set the scene. It has one intent only, and that is the intent of your practicing a vibration with the singular purpose of making it a dominant vibration.

Sometimes people will use visualization to try to fix something that is broken.

And we want you to use Virtual Reality for one reason only – to make the vibration that *you* choose dominant. Let’s say that your nation is really worried about something, and it’s hard for you not to give it thought because when you turn on the television it is there, you hear others talking about it, your teachers are talking about it in the classrooms of your children, people are having discussions about it all around you. But when you think about it, you know its not a thought that you want to make dominant within you because you feel fear when it crosses your mind, or anger, or frustration, or worry. So you say “OK. I will choose another thought and make it dominant.” The feeling is I need to deactivate the thought that already *is* dominant.

But the trouble with that is when you decide that you’re going to deactivate a thought, you don’t deactivate it, you activate it. When you say, “I’m not going to think about that”, you’re thinking about that which you’re not going to think about. Even when you say “I don’t want to be sick, I’m going to think about wellness”, when you approach the subject of your physical body when your dominant thought about it has been sickness, even though you try to do a Virtual Reality about wellness, you usually activate the thought of illness because that’s the dominant thought relative to that subject. You see how it works?

So there’s a temptation when you apply these processes to say “Oh Abraham is giving me a process where I can fix this thing that’s broken”, and all it does is activate the thing that’s broken. So, without meaning to, you just practice making the dominant thought that isn’t serving you remains dominant.

This process of Virtual Reality will change that for you if you will understand this one very important thing. The process of Virtual Reality is where you practice your dominant thought. It’s where you practice the thought that you want to be dominant until it is dominant. Virtual Reality is the place where you practice the thought that you want to be dominant and make it dominant. Virtual Reality is the place where you practice the thought that you want to be dominant and you make it dominant. And the reason that we’re repeating this into the ridiculous is because at first you’re not going to want to do that.

Even Esther as she’s been practicing this for a few weeks now finds herself sometimes right in the middle of a delicious Virtual Reality and all of a sudden she realizes she’s trying to reform someone, either herself or someone else.

IOW, she’ll be going along swimmingly doing very, very well and then she’ll stumble into something and without even meaning to she’ll active something that is broken so to speak.

So, Virtual Reality really works best if it’s short. Get in, feel good, and get out.

Get in, feel good, and get out. So, you set the scene. What time of year is it? What time of day is it? Where is it, outside, inside? You get to choose.

There is no right and wrong in that. What you’re reaching for are good-feeling moments. You know those moments when your heart is just singing so strong and you just think, “I wish I could stay here forever!”? Does that usually happen to you when you’re outdoors or indoors? If it’s more often outdoors, then pick a scene that’s outside. If it’s more often indoors, then pick a scene that’s indoors. Esther, quite often in her Virtual Reality, she’s walking into a new place that is very beautiful and often it’s indoors. Sometimes she finds herself discovering a magnificent vista, and that moment of exhilaration is there. That’s what you’re reaching for.

So you set the place and the time of year and the time of day, and then you talk to yourself about how it smells and looks and feels. You’re sort of bringing yourself along little by little into this higher, higher, better, better, good, good, feeling place. And then you decide who else is with you. Sometimes, in the beginning, it’s better to be alone, but not always. You get to decide that. Who else is there? And what’s their mood? And, of course, you get to choose it so don’t bring someone who’s in a bad mood and then work him or her into a good mood.

Bring good mood people. And then exchange a few words – and off you go.

And what will happen is, as you do this for 30 seconds, you set a tone in your vibration. Does it immediately become your dominant tone or your dominant vibration? No. But it begins to dilute what is. So then you do it again and you do it again and you do it again and you do it again, and you *don’t* do it because there’s something broken that you want to fix because if you do it because there’s something broken that you want to fix, you just practice the one that’s already dominant. This is *only* to feel good, *only* to feel good. And with a few weeks of dabbling at this, you will readjust what is dominant within your vibration.

You see, the creative process is three steps.

The first step is you have to identify what is wanted and you can’t help but do that. Preferences are born within you all day every day. Contrast helps you to conclude. When you know what you don’t want, what you do want shoots out of you like a rocket. Whenever you know what you do not want, clarity about what you do want comes forth in very vivid terms. So, Step 1 is happening all over the place.

Step 2’s not your work. Source Energy will answer. Step 2 is the answering of what is being asked and that is not your work.

Step 3 is your work. You *must* be in the receiving mode, you *must* be a vibrational match, you *must* be vibrationally equivalent, you must *not* be vibrationally different, you must *not* be vibrationally resistant, you *must* be vibrationally harmonious with that which you are asking for. That’s what “being in the receiving mode” is. You’ve got to line up with your own desire.

So, when you realize that Step 1 and Step 3 are not the same step, and you realize that you can’t help but offer Step 1 – it’s happening all over the place – then we think it would be a good idea for *you* to make your dominant priority be being in Step 3, which means nothing is more important to you that to be in the receiving mode of well-being. And that’s where this Virtual Reality comes in. It will help you train *you* back into vibrational harmony with allowing the well-being that is natural to you.

You see a confusing point that so many human friends have is that there is this source of bad and this source of good and that I’ve got to really focus hard upon everything that I want and I have to keep talking about what I want and if I want something that I don’t have I have to be focused upon it really, really, really, really steadily in order to bring it about. IOW, I’ve got to set a goal and I’ve got to keep fixated on that goal or I won’t bring it about. And that’s just not true. You launched those goals. Source Energy is answering those goals or those desires, and what you’ve got to do is just be in a place where you’re not is the way, where you’re not vibrationally in the way. You hear in your physical environment “Let go and let God”. And what they are talking about is relaxing that resistance and allowing the well-being that is natural to flow into your experience. And so this Virtual Reality game is a really good game to help you deliberately change your vibration.

Now, do you need to do something like a Virtual Reality game in order to do that? No. You could get into modes of appreciation. You could be someone who is always looking for positive aspects. IOW, there are lots of tools that we and others have offered that help you become a vibrational match to well-being, that allow the well-being flow into your experience.

We’ve just noticed that so many of you have these things that you really, really, really, really, really want and you can’t figure out why you’re not getting them.

And we want you to know that it only can be that you are offering a vibration that is different from what you’re asking for. And the reason that that must be happening is that at an unconscious level you’ve got some patterns of thought going on that you don’t even know you’ve got going on. And so by deliberately offering thought, two things will happen. It will get easier for you to discover the thoughts that *allow* what you want and you will be *more* aware of when you are doing opposite.

The other day Esther said to Jerry “You know, what I’m worried about is….”, and Jerry said, “That’s a whopper of a Virtual Reality!” Because when you say, “You know, I really worry about something”, think about it. You’ve set the scene, you’ve identified your mood, you’ve decided who else will be there, and you’ve exchanged words…. IOW, you’re practicing a Virtual Reality that is not serving you every time you say, “I worry about this”.

Or “I remember”. When you remember you’re doing a Virtual Reality because you are reactivating everything that happened in that memory and making it a vibrational part of now. So what *are* you remembering? The thing about trying to change memories or trying to sift through memories is that they are what they are, and when you tap back into one of them it activates! IOW, when you think about some of those memories, your mood comes over you all at once, doesn’t it?

Have you ever had something unpleasant happen while a particular song was playing? And now if you ever hear that song, you almost without knowing it immediately go back to that mood that you felt there. Fragrances do that to you too. There are a lot of different things that happen in your day to day experience that activate vibrations within you that do not serve you. Well, no longer are you a ‘victim’ to the circumstances or to what somebody else can activate around you, because now you have a tool where you can practice activating vibrations that serve you and with thirty days of practicing activating vibrations, you will be *free* of all vibrations that have not been serving you. It is our absolute promise to you.

So we’re not going to deactivate anything. Why? Because it is not possible.

Because when you look at that thing that you want to deactivate, it activates.

Instead we’re going to practice activating on purpose. And when you activate vibrations on purpose, you change your point of attraction. And when you change your point of attraction, you change what happens to you. So the reason that this is a very easy, comfortable, joyful, really good process to begin getting good at is because as you practice the Virtual Reality, you win, win, win, win, win, because you feel good while you’re doing it, your vibration shifts which means your point of attraction shifts, which means the things that start coming to you change which is fun as they come, and it gets easier and easier and easier, because as you practice something that feels good more good things come and before you know it now you can practice a little and observe a lot and practice a little and observe a lot. You find yourself just saying things like “Ooh, that’s beautiful” and “Isn’t this fun” and “Wasn’t that a nice comment” and “Don’t you just love this” and “Don’t I have a good life” and “Aren’t I doing good” and “Aren’t we having a glorious time” and “Isn’t this a wonderful thing”. IOW, it just gets better and better and better and better and better.

And easier and easier and easier and easier and easier.” ~ Abraham-Hicks, May 28, 2002

Okay, I’m back.  Related to the previous topic is a recognition that I used to believe I had to learn how I create my reality before I could apply those ideas to my life.  This idea is somewhat akin to being in school and learning how to do things before going out into the world to do them for real.  However, life isn’t like that.  Life is quite literally ‘on the job training’.  One can’t decide not to breathe until one has learned how to breathe more effectively.  And yet, for the past number of  years, some more and some less, that’s what I’ve been doing.  Like a monk living behind stone walls, I’ve more or less retreated from the world, wanting to learn the ins and outs of reality creation before bursting back onto the world’s stage. Still, even in retreat I’ve been creating my reality and while it may sound more pat to say that I’ve been doing it badly, the truth is that I’ve created my reality perfectly.  The only thing I’ve been doing badly is making bad choices.  The reality creation has been flawless!

So, next steps?  I accept my creative power.  I am a creator.  I create a reality where money comes to me, from me, in significant amounts and on a regular basis.  I can consider it interest on my investments in myself, untouched by the world’s markets.  Coupled with accepting my infinity and my creative power, I accept that I live in a universe where positive, expansive experiences are ‘normal’ for me, and negative, limiting experiences tell me there’s something I need to release.

My body is completely healthy, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.  Marcia and I are  ‘retired’ in a way, although we both have various interests, individually and together.  We have more money than we could ever use; we keep some and gift some.  People gift to us also, not to fill a need, but because we all enjoy the feeling of ‘giving’.  We have our life together, our ‘things’ and our family.  Life is good.

One final note before I leave the Starbucks.  When I arrived at the comfy chairs there was a valise left behind.  When the owner arrived finally to claim it, I invited her to sit with me.  She read and I wrote; quite a change from my experience at the library a few weeks back.

So, I’ve just finished typing in the past two days’ worth of notes, and I have a couple of other items to add.  The first is from a Seth quote that I don’t seem to have a copy of, relating to the magical approach and the rational approach working together.  I’ve always had a hard time with that quote because of the wording, but I realized two things about that tonight.  The first is that the magical approach and the rational approach can work together in my life.  The second was that the quote come from the Seth books, and so the wording may not ‘all’ apply to me.  I’m a little unsure about that one, since I’m creating the text I see.  Maybe it’s best if I just work with the part of a quote that works best for me, and hold the rest until later.

The second thought that came to me on the walk home is something I’ve thought about off and on over the years.  Let’s say I’ve received a windfall and I want to give some of it to family, for example.  I’ve always had a difficult time deciding if I should do that or not, how much, etc.  At one point do I interfere with someone else’s life?  That thought has troubled me over the years, but the answer that came today was obvious.  Follow my impulses.  Relax, let go, and let Spirit carry me.  Simple.

And my last note for tonight is from the book ‘The daVinci Code’.  I just finished reading it again.  I first read it when it came out, and I’ve seen the movie a few times, but there are so many subtle nuances and so many references in the book that I had forgotten.  Of course much of the book is about the sacred feminine, and that’s no news to me, but there were also references in the book to the ceremony of Hieros Gamos, or Sacred Marriage ritual.  It’s best described as a ceremony celebrating a sexual union between god and goddess.  Actually, the word “orgy” comes from the Greek word “orgia” meaning “secret worship” and most secret worship involved sacred sex.  In Dan Brown’s book he described how orgasm connected the male (and presumably female) to the Divine for even a few seconds, and that made such perfect sense to me.  It’s given me an entirely new understanding of my own views toward sex, which has always been as something sacrosanct.  More than that, though, the idea of connection to the divine really struck a chord with me because it got me thinking about everything from advertising, fashion to the porn industry, and how ‘sex sells’.  True, it does, but it does because we’ve forgotten our connections achieved with such a sacred union and in forgetting, we’re like moths to a flame, circling around and around the light…

Love,
Me.

“Ideas of good, better, best can lead you astray, for example. You are learning to be as completely as possible. In one way you are learning to create yourselves. In so doing during the reincarnational cycle, you are focusing your main abilities in physical life, developing human qualities and characteristics, opening new dimensions of activity. This does not mean that good does not exist, or that in your terms you do not ‘progress,’ but your concepts of good and progression are extremely distorted.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 541.

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December 7, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, I’ve made myself a few notes here, so I’d best type them out while I can still remember what they’re about!

Here are two Abraham quotes that tie in with what I’ve been writing about:

“Your life is right now! It’s not later! It’s not in that time of retirement. It’s not when the lover gets here. It’s not when you’ve moved into the new house. It’s not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it’s not ever going to get better than right now–until it gets better right now!” ~ Abraham- Hicks

“When you find vibrational alignment with You, you personally thrive. You feel good; you look good; you have stamina; you have energy; you have balance; you have clarity; you have wit; you have abundance of all things that you consider to be good. You thrive in all ways when you come into Energy Balance with You. Vibrational Relativity—that’s what it’s all about.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Okay, then.  Since my conscious mind is the director of my experience in my reality, by opening up my conscious mind and allowing more flow and more expansion and removing blocks and really expanding my Self, I’m also giving permission to the other aspects of my self, responsible for physical reality creation, to share in this joy and expansion.  I hear shouts of joy all over the place!

Thinking about Hieros Gamos and the ‘shudders’ I get sometimes.  I’ve written before that they feel ‘orgasmic’ in nature, and they only happen when I’m feeling really strongly connected.  Perhaps a peek at my own infinity?

A thought just came to mind… I would like those aspects of my self responsible for reality creation to consider creating any experience in my life that would make me happy and only such experiences.  I have no interest in experiencing anything else.

I have more than enough.  And having more than enough, I am open to receiving more.  And in receiving more, I will have more than enough.  Such a wonderful cycle of creation!

A couple of other thoughts…  One is I was thinking about what I wrote about the river and being swept along in the current, or walking around a cruise ship making its voyage, and not being able to influence either one very much.  What came to me today is that those concepts still deal in separation – me vs. the stream or whatever, with the stream being greater than I am.  What I’m reaching for is an understanding of me as a part of the stream, not simply being carried by it.  As I’ve said, infinity knows no boundaries and has no separations.  Therefore, I can think of the stream as being like a vehicle for me, taking me to where I want to go.

Similarly, I’ve been looking at the wonderful things that have been happening in my life and thinking of them as ‘driftwood’, place markers showing me that I’m on the right path and I just have to ‘do’ more – open more, write more, research more, grow more or whatever to get to where I want to be.  What came to me today is that these markers aren’t guideposts showing me where I have yet to go.  These are signs letting me know I’ve arrived.  Yes I have more to learn, more to open up to, more to grow.  But it’s more important for me right now to stop for a moment and recognize and acknowledge all that I have achieved, and to reap the benefits of that.  I’ve been unwilling to stop and take in what I’ve asked to receive because I’ve been moving past it at the same time.  Relax, let go, and let Spirit carry me.

And tied in with that is a thought that I woke up with this morning: Who am I without struggle?  Struggle has defined so much of my life, and in many ways, my definition of myself begins and ends with what I have struggled to be, struggled to achieve, tried and succeeded or failed, etc.  I’ve written about this before, but I’ve noticed that things I write about again are things to draw my attention to – choices I need to make, or choices I haven’t been happy with and need to change.  So, who am I without struggle?  I’m not going to answer that question here; I’m going to allow the answer to reveal itself in my life instead.

And finally, I was thinking today about my world, and recognizing that this world is my creation, then the world is what I/ we make it.  And thinking about it from the perspective of giving up struggle means that, again, I can create an entirely different understanding of the world, a new completely new world in which to have my experience.  That’s fascinating.  As Seth said:

“It is not that your being exists in a lesser reality. It is that you have not learned to recognize the extent of the reality in which you do exist.” ~ Conversations with Seth II, Chapter 10.

Love,
Me.

“I would like each of my readers to be a practicing idealist, and, if you are then you will automatically be tolerant of the beliefs of others. You will not be unkind in the pursuit of your own ideals. You will look upon the world with a sane compassion, with some humor, and you will look for man’s basic good intent. You will find it. It has always been there. You will discover your own basic good intent, and see that it has always been behind all of your actions – even in those least fitted to the pursuit of your private ideals.

“The end does not justify the means. If you learn that lesson, then your good intent will allow you to act effectively and creatively in your private experience, and in your relationships with others. Your changed beliefs will affect the mental atmosphere of your nation and of the world.” ~ The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, session 873.

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December 8, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s been an interesting day.  I took a walk down to Mission Creek today; there are the beginnings of ice along the creek but the water is still flowing strongly.  Reminds me a little of Jackson Creek in Peterborough, and all of the time I had there…  The forest was very quiet today – the only wildlife I saw was one Downy Woodpecker.  That and a couple of dogs and a few people.  After that I went over to the mall and sat and did some writing for a while.  Before I left Chapters I went to the washroom in the back, and as I was passing by the camera books there was a woman there with a few books in her hand and a lost look on her face.  She had purchased a Canon 450D, had taken it on vacation with her husband and had made some images that she and her friends were happy with, but she really doesn’t know much about photography.  I recommended ‘The Moment it Clicks’ by Joe McNally as a good reference.  We also talked for a while about .jpg vs. raw files, about histograms and ETTR, how the digital information is mostly held in the top half of the histogram and things like that.  It was fun.  I don’t have anyone I can talk with about photography and even in explaining those simple things, it was a great connection.  Reminded me of Marcia’s adventure to the bookstore with ‘The Celestine Prophecy’.  I provided the woman with a link to The Luminous Landscape and my e-mail address in case she has any questions.  Maybe I’ll hear from her and maybe I won’t, but that’s up to her.  Caught the bus back and got to sit up top in the front seat, for half the journey anyway.

Okay, here’s what I wrote today.  Actually, before I get into that I want to add in something I wrote to Marcia today in response to a question she had asked:

Mike, how did you feel when you read this? :

“CHRIS ATTWOOD: I’m going to lead you a little bit on this point, and you can disagree if you’d like. One of the things that we say in The Passion Test is your passions are like breadcrumbs leading you on to fulfill your personal destiny, your life purpose or whatever you like. Is it possible that by going for the house or going for the Maserati that that’s the next step I need to take in order to get to the point of recognizing that that has limited meaning? Could it be taking me on, as you say, to the next stage of the evolution of my consciousness and my life?

SHORE SLOCUM: Absolutely! I’m so excited you said that. Maybe what you learned in going after the Maserati is what the real lesson was. It wasn’t the car itself. It was what you had to go through, what you had to elevate, the way you had to think, a person you met along the way, or you just needed to get it out of your system so you just went through it quicker.”

Hi Hon:

My thoughts on this have changed and expanded so many times in the past six years that even I’m not sure all of twists and turns I’ve taken.  I’ll see if I can outline where I’m at now.

Actually, if I go back to when I found ‘The God of Jane’ and ‘The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events’ on Susie’s bookshelf, and that’s what got me back into Seth again.  From the beginning I wanted two things.  On the physical perspective I wanted things – a home, money, a vehicle, etc. and on the non-physical side I wanted spiritual growth.  Those two things have combined over the years into One, really, and that’s where I’m at now.  But even in the beginning the things I wanted were never for the ‘he who has the most toys when he dies wins’ perspective.  That’s never been what it was about for me.  Actually, in the beginning I wouldn’t even allow myself to think of things I wanted for myself; I could only think of things that would be of benefit to other people.

I didn’t want things for the sake of having things, but it seemed to me that if it was an infinite universe, then I should be able to have what I wanted, whatever it was.  And with where I was at the time, I also wanted my inner self to bring me those things because my relationship with my inner self wasn’t on very solid ground at the time, and because I had this huge gap between what I saw as my inner self and what I saw as my conscious self.  I was, then, quite literally two separate beings – me and Me so to speak.

We seem to live in a society where there are those who want the physical things and those who believe that wanting physical things makes one shallow, and that the real purpose in life is to want to help others, to be altruistic, etc.  What I read in Chris’ quote above is that it’s okay to want the shallow physical things because once you get that out of your system then you can graduate to wanting the more non-tangible – non-physical things, to be of a ‘higher purpose’.  I may be wrong in that, but that’s what it sounds like to me.  Now Chris’ background is very eastern-based, Buddhism and the like, and that’s one of the tenets of Buddhism – to give up worldly belongings.  Even in the Bible Christ supposedly said that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

To me, with where I’m at now, I don’t see a difference between wanting physical things and wanting non-physical things.  I don’t think one is of a ‘higher’ and one of a ‘lower’ purpose.  This is especially relevant when one considers that the whole self is living multiple lifetimes simultaneously, and in each lifetime there are different purposes.  So in some lives people choose poverty, or illness or war, and in some lives people choose wealth, health, friendship, and peace.

To me, something that I’ve come to recently, the most important thing is to give up judgment of what I or anyone else wants.  I read something last night, and I don’t remember the author, but she (I think it was a woman) said something that a rich person who was afraid of losing all of his or her money and a poor person shared the same poverty consciousness.  A rich person, a truly rich person is someone who is comfortable with the wealth he or she has, whatever that entails.  To me wealth takes many forms – I can have a wealth of money, a wealth of friendships, a wealth of peace, a wealth of health, a wealth of understanding, etc.  And I don’t believe any one is more important than any other, but I do believe that true wealth includes all of them.

I remember, several years back, in one meditation I saw a bunch of kids in a playground, and one was money and one was health and one was friendship and one was synchronicity and one was playfulness and one was spontaneity and one was wisdom and one was…  Anyway, all of the kids were playing together except for money, who was sitting alone.  And I realized in that meditation that I had separated money from everything else in my life.  During that meditation I got the other kids to go over and invite money into their circle and by the end they were all playing together.  More than that, they were all turning into each other.  Money became wisdom and health became spontaneity and so on.  And from that moment that’s what I wanted my life to be like – where money wasn’t something separated from the rest of my life, but an integral part of it, like every other aspect.

To me, money is energy, but in (my understanding of) this society, money is still treated as something separate from everything else.  It’s still sitting alone in the playground.  Everyone wants money to be around, but nobody wants money to be considered a part of their friendly group.  Because of that I’ve recognized that to work within this society (as I understand it) I’m going to need money as a form of exchange because that’s what other people expect.

For me, what I’m most interested in is creation – transferring or translating energy into matter.  There was a time where I believed that ‘I’ literally had to gather together the energy needed to perform this translation, and I also believed that I required intense focus to bring this into being.  Focus, concentrate, etc.  Keep in mind the sense of separation I felt between my conscious mind and the rest of my Self.  If no other aspect of myself was going to do this for me, I was going to learn how to do it myself… so there!  As I mentioned above, as I’ve traveled along this path of my life those two original intents have become one.  I now see physical creation as a part of spiritual development.  I am learning to be me, and also learning what that means.  I’ve described myself (and others) as a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being.  I’m learning what that means.

And so yes, I want certain things, but I want those things because I have an admiration for quality, for workmanship, for beauty in myriad forms.  I need no justification for those things other than those are my choices.  In having money I also want to be involved with helping other people, whether it be through voluntourism, through ethical, social and environmentally sound investments, through charitable donations, gifts to family or whatever.  Giving makes me feel good, and I’m learning that receiving can feel good too.  But again, those are things that interest me and I don’t separate one (physical) from the other (non-tangible).

As Abraham has said, it’s as easy to create a castle as a button.  You just need to decide if you want a castle or a button.  What I want is the ability to create – anything.  It’s like having a huge ball of Play-Doh, and it doesn’t matter if you make it into a house, a car, a ball of healing energy for someone, a cruise ship, a well in an African village, or whatever.

That may be more than you wanted, but that’s where I’m at right now.  I want to really ‘know’ and experience life as a conscious co-creator.  If you’re given a piece of paper and a pencil and are instructed to draw anything, what does anyone draw?  They draw things that interest them.

What are your thoughts?

Love,
Me.

Okay, now onto the day’s writings:

I’ve gone through quite a shift in feeling since I left the house, and I’m back to being excited.  I’m excited a lot of the time now, and this is definitely a good thing.  Been thinking today of my thoughts as specific instructions, orders to my unconscious as it were, and while it’s an interesting exercise to look back and see clearly how my thoughts and beliefs have formed my reality in the past, it’s more important to me now to simply acknowledge the truth of it and get on with using it.  One thing that came to mind today was an old story about two offices.  In one office were one person, one small desk, and one printer.  When something came out of the printer the person stamped ‘Actuated’ on it and put it in the tray.  In the next office, much larger, BTW, there was a whole group of people – all scurrying around – many desks, phones ringing, etc.  Both offices represent one person and his or her connection to their unconscious.  The first office represents a person who is aware of his or her power, one who gives an order to the unconscious and moves on.  The second office is someone who questions his or her ability.  It’s a good visual to remember.

I am a fully aware, strong, powerful multidimensional spiritual being, expressing myself as physical reality.  That’s important to remember.  I’m not expressing myself into physical reality, but as physical reality.  I am my whole world.  That adds a completely different level to the idea of creating my reality and the instructions I give to my unconscious.  Not only do I have the power to influence my world, I am my world.  That’s an ‘As Me’ stance from a Shore Slocum perspective.  I’m acknowledging my own power and as I do I’m discovering that there is much more to acknowledge than I once could have imagined.  And as I discover my own power, like a mirror, my reality become more than I had thought possible as well.  Creation requires no precedent.  This perspective also negates the premise that there are certain ways things have to be, certain ways the world has to work.  I keep bumping into thoughts of criticisms in my head, words like ‘egomaniac’ and ‘full of himself’, etc. and as I do I realize several things.  The first is that by surrendering judgement I have no further use for criticisms.  By extension, and aware being finds no use for such terms either.  They don’t apply to him or her, and s/he certainly wouldn’t find any use for them.  And finally, such terms are only used by those who are still living in judgement and therefore afraid of their own Being.  I’m not; I used to be, but I’m not.

And that got me thinking about action, and specifically the idea of action vs. effort.  I’ve always seen them as being the same thing, and that’s created some conflict within me because I’ve been told to take action but that creation should be effortless.  Hence the confusion.  I remember back a few years when I thought all effort toward creation had to come directly from me, and ‘intention’ became a practice of focused effort.  I still remember my meditations of focused intention where I was trying to create a winning lottery ticket for example.  Specific focus, narrow beam, became my objective.  Funny, as I wrote that I remembered a part of something from a channeling session: “To meditate as ye are being taught will close doors rather than open them.  Rather let this be an opening in love.”  Sounds a lot like “Relax, let go and let Spirit carry you.”  Twenty years of the same message and I’m finally getting it.  Something that came to me here is that all inspired action will be effortless.  That’s a good measure to use.

Something that came to me last night with regard to being in the stream is that I’ve always visualized being in the flow as being like in a river, and going downstream meant following a specific channel wherever it went.  That’s been the basis for the conflict.  Last night it came to me to consider a flow of air instead.  I like that much better.  Seeing the ‘stream of Well-Being’ as Abraham calls it as a current of air makes a lot more sense to me.  Air currents don’t follow specific channels, and they move in three dimensions.  Since I as Source am the wind, I’m blowing myself toward where I want to be.

I keep coming back to Melody Lawson’s article of ‘Giving up All Hope’ and seeing that as being an article about claiming my own power.  I’ve always been the source of everything in my life, but because I was unwilling to see and accept that, I’ve pushed it away and made it seem as thought it was coming from others.  No more pretending, and in giving that up I acknowledge and accept myself as a conscious co-creator.  I like it!!

While sitting here at Starbucks I can see things from all four of Shore Slocum’s perspectives:

1. To me: I’ve been sitting here too long and someone is going to come by and ask me to leave.
2. By me: I’ve paid for a coffee and so I have a right to be here.
3. Through me: There is no conflict; everything is working out in perfect harmony and this is the right place for me in this moment.
4. As me: I am the store, the table, the chair, the coffee, the pen, and the notebook…

And having written that, I’m done for now!

Love,
Me.

A little something to finish up:

“The inner ego …always identifies with its source-identity as a beloved, individualized portion of the universe. It is aware of the universal love that is its heritage.

“It is also aware of the infinite power and strength that composes the very fabric of its being. Through being made aware of these facts, the exterior ego can begin to feel a quicker sense of support and nourishment. The knowledge can let it relax, let go, so that it feels its life couched and safe, and know itself to be indeed a beloved child of the universe, both ancient and young at once, with an identity far beyond the annals of time.

“It is of great value, then, that each person remember this universal affiliation. Such a reminder can often allow the inner self to send needed messages of strength and love through various levels, appearing as inspiration, dreams, or simply bursts of feeling. The inner ego draws intent and continuous support from the universal consciousness, and the more the exterior ego keeps that fact in mind, the greater its own sense of stability, safety and self-esteem.” ~ The Way Toward Health, March 19, 1984.

_____

Welcome back.  I thought maybe it was time I shared some of the things I’ve been writing about recently rather than only my writings from the past, so here goes…

_____ December 16, 2009 Hello, Michael:

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  I thought maybe it was time I shared some of the things I’ve been writing about recently rather than only my writings from the past, so here goes…

_____
December 16, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve done any writing at all, and longer since I’ve done any serious writing.  I’ve been posting my ‘Future Me’ stuff to our blog, but I’ve wanted to write more of what’s going on with me now.  So, I’m sitting here at Francelli’s having a tea and a muffin and I’ve got my list of notes here in front of me.

The first thing I want to write about though is something that came to me last night.  It goes back several years, but I’ve been only peripherally aware of it until now.

Back when I was living at S’s and I found those copies of ‘The God of Jane’ and ‘The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events on her bookshelf (and got back into reading Seth again), my first thought about money was that I couldn’t ask for it for myself, only if I was going to use it to serve others.  From the beginning, though, I had two streams of thought, two desires as it were.  That’s changed a lot since then; in the beginning I was so separated within myself that I separated all of the aspects of myself as well.  Anyway, from the beginning I wanted two things.  On one hand I wanted spiritual development, and on the other hand I wanted wealth, freedom, and what I saw as coming with wealth. So, my thought back then was to say to my Self, “You provide the money for me, and I’ll take it from there.”  Basically I was willing to allow my inner self to come up with the money for me, but I was so conflicted, so afraid of being controlled by what I was as my ‘greater self’ that I didn’t want to be manipulated or forced into using this new found wealth for purposes other than what ‘I’ wanted. As I say, back then I was so separated I separated everything, but I’m reminded again and again that ideas and beliefs we set in place often migrate to the background of our consciousness where they remain active even though we’re unaware of them.  Something that came to me this morning was a belief from when I was about 10 or so.  I was told that sometimes ‘God’ grants your request, but sometimes ‘God’ would simply make you understand why your request can’t be granted.  When you REALLY want something, an explanation is small consolation.  We’re told, ‘That’s life’, or ‘suck it up’, or ‘you just have to accept it’.  But do we?  Hmmm…

Where all of this is leading is that in our ‘Now’ Marcia and I are living a magical existence.  Neither one of us are working in the traditional sense at the moment, but our days are filled with joy and magic and spontaneous expressions of both.  Marcia won at contest at CARE that included two free movie tickets, and (unknowingly), I won a contest sponsored by CHEK News and Tourism Victoria – one of the daily prizes that amounts to about $200 worth of gifts including a horse-drawn trolley tour, a night’s stay at the Villa Marco Polo Inn B&B and an annual family pass to the Royal BC Museum.  Wonderful gifts.  As I said to Marcia, if I’d known it was a contest I wouldn’t have entered.  I thought it was just an opportunity to share my favourite Christmas story.

Having said that, let’s say we win $20M or so in the lottery.  Well… what came to me last night is that while I’ve been asking my Self/  All That Is for the opportunity to have this money, the opportunities to live my life as I wish, there’s been a latent fear that when this happens, that I’m going to be cut loose so to speak, that in having the money to buy what I want, I’ll no longer need to rely on the Universe to provide spontaneous, magical events for me and I’ll essentially be out on my own.  I’ve seen it as a by-product of ‘growing up, that with independence comes separation, and as someone who’s worked his way past a lot of separation and into a greater integration of my Self, I haven’t wanted to give that up.  Hence the conflict…  I’ve wanted to receive the money, to live a life of health and wealth and happiness, but I’ve felt that having that would take me farther away from myself in other ways.

There’s a Seth quote for that, of course:

“Many people ask, for example: ‘What is the purpose of my life?’ Meaning: ‘What am I meant to do?’ but the purpose of your life, and each life, is in its being. That being may include certain actions, but the acts themselves are only important in that they spring out of the essence of your life, which simply by being is bound to fulfill its purposes.” ~ Dreams, ”Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 1, session 899.

So today I can look at the opposite side of that, that receiving the money, whether from the lottery or from other source is a part of, not separate from, the spontaneous magic and joy we’ve been living, that these things come out of our choice to live in joy.  Therefore having this money and living my life as I imagine it to be doesn’t take me away from my Self; if anything, it brings me closer to who I am.  The way I live my life, the way I create my life is an expression of who I am, who I see myself Being in this moment.  I also remembered another belief recently, something that I’ve often shared with others, and that is that ‘negativity’, our limiting beliefs don’t ‘cling’ to us, instead they’re invariably things we hold onto.  Sometimes we hold on gently, but usually we grab on to them with clenched fist.  To release them from our lives, all we have to do is ‘let go’.

I received the following ‘Future Me’ post this morning, and that was followed by today’s Tut quote.  First the ‘Future Me’:

December 15, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, I’m feeling rather aggressive this morning.  Woke up this morning feeling that there’s really no reason for ‘me’ being here.  What I mean by that is that from my perspective my conscious mind/ ego is responsible for providing information to my inner self on the conditions of my reality and to provide instruction to my self as to what experiences to create in my life.  Well, I’ve been doing that for more than a decade.  I’ve been VERY clear in terms of what I expect to see, what my dreams and desires are, and how I want my life to unfold, but none of that has happened.  I’m living in a world I don’t want to be, existing in a way I don’t want to live, with a body that’s not as healthy as it could be.  In short, my life is not that of a creator.  Now I’ve invested a lot of time over the years learning how to create my life, coming to understand who and what I am, and learning to be a conscious co-creator, but it’s all come to naught.  I’m in physical reality, so I’m told, to experience from a physical reality perspective.  Fine.  I accept that.  But since I know that I’m responsible for creating my reality, and since I know that I AM Source energy and I have the power to mould my life into what I want it to be – in fact that’s my purpose – then continuing to live as I am is a waste of my time.  If the rest of my Self isn’t going to listen to me, if my ideas and dreams and desires fall on hard ground, if my life is going to be what it is despite my intentions and desires, then I’m wasting my time here.  Now I’m not anxious to end this life, but as it is my life requires no conscious input.  My mind doesn’t need to be here.

I’m tired of feeling that I am less than the rest of my Self.  I’m tired of feeling that the only way I can experience my life is to force it into being.  I’m tired of feeling separated from the rest of my Self.  I’m tired of feeling that what ‘I’ want doesn’t count.  I’m tired of feeling that I’m not worth listening to or providing for.  I’m tired of having a body that has access to infinite amounts of energy and yet persists in having bad eyes and bad teeth.  I’m tired of being ineffectual in my own life.  I feel like I want to explode.  There’s so much anger and so much resentment and so much energy built up inside me that I’m ready to let it lash out and I don’t care what the consequences will be – like an earthquake or a forest fire.  I’m ready to rip my life to shreds, and more’s the pity for any part of my Self that gets in my way.  That’s what I’m feeling right now.

Am I allowing?  Yes.  Am I open?  Yes.  Have I sent off rockets of desire?  Yes.  Have I made it absolutely perfectly clear what I want to experience in my life?  Yes.  Have I received ANY SLIGHT INDICATION THAT THIS IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN? No.  And so what’s the point in continuing?  What’s the point in keeping on, keeping going?  What’s the point in asking for things that aren’t provided?  What’s the point in being infinite if I can’t express my infinity?  What’s the point in being AWAKE and AWARE while being confined into a ‘body’ that can’t move?  I’m right pissed off right now, and I’m not feeling like my consciousness is to blame here.  I’m past that.  I’m past feeling like I deserve this, or that this is all I can expect.  I’m worth more than this, and the rest of my Self had bloody well listen up.

Well, that was this morning, and I’m not going to apologize, even to myself for writing it, because that’s what I felt at the time.  Been working with this question all day long, and looking for answers.  Well, tonight I followed an impulse to go to my Mnotes 4 file, and did my usual search for the right spot.  I came out at an interesting place, between a Seth quote and a CC quote, but both of them are relevant.

Here they are:

“Good evening.  Now: I have spoken about counterparts in Ruburt’s class.  Many of the students became deadly serious as they tried to understand the concept.

Some wanted me to identify their counterparts for them.  One student (Fred) a contractor, said little.  Instead, during the last week he let his own creative imagination go wherever it might while he held the general idea in his mind.  He played with the concept, then.  In a way his experiences were like those of a child – open, curious, filled with enthusiasm.  As a result he himself discovered a few of his counterparts.

Most people, however, are so utterly serious that they suspect their own creativity.  They expect that its products will be unreal or not valid in the physical world.  Yet there is a great correlation between what you think of as creativity, altered states of consciousness, play, and “spiritual” development.

When you create a poem or a song or a painting you are in a state of play, of enjoyment, of freedom.  You intend to make something different, to produce a new version of reality.  You create out of love, for the sake of the experience.  At one time or another almost everyone has that kind of experience, but children have it often.  They compose songs and music and paintings in their heads.  They alter the focus of their consciousnesses frequently.  They do not stop to ask whether or not the play is real or pertinent.  Physically, play develops their body mechanisms.  It also flexes the great capabilities of their minds.

When you think: “Life is earnest,” and decide to put away childish things, then often you lose sight of your own creativity and become so deadly serious that you cannot play, even mentally.  Spiritual development becomes a goal that must be attained.  The goal is to be achieved through hard work, and as long as you believe this you do not understand what the spirit is.

I keep returning to natural analogies – but plants do not work at developing their potential.  They are not beautiful because they believe it is their responsibility to please your eye.  They are beautiful because they love themselves and beauty.  When you are so serious, you almost always distort the nature of your own spirit as far as your own understanding of it is concerned.  You cannot let your guard down long enough to discover what it is.  You keep looking for new rules or regulations, or methods of discipline.

Give us a moment . . . You keep searching for a new “ascended master”, or guru, to keep you in line and point out THE WAY – in capitals.

In their own ways children are quite aware of their counterparts and of other portions of their individual realities.  They relate to their counterparts in dreams.  They sometimes see them as “invisible” companions.  You dream of your own counterparts frequently, but you are so afraid of maintaining what you think of as the rational adult self that you ignore such communications.

People have written here asking about soul mates.  In certain circles this is the latest vogue.  The idea is an old one: it is based upon the reality of counterparts, and presents another version of the theory.  But, again, it is treated with an almost pompous seriousness.  Many of those who use the term do it to hide rather than release their own joyful abilities.  They spend time searching for their soul mates – but the search involves them in a pilgrimage for a kind of impossible communication with another, in which all division is lost with the two of them trying to join in a cementing oneness, suffocating all sense of play or creativity.  You are not one part, or one half, of another soul, searching through the annals of time for your partner, undone until you are completed by your soul mate.

When you become too intent to maintain your reality you lose it, for you deny the creativity upon which it rests.

Many of you have daydreams in which you actually see yourselves as your counterparts, and portions of their lives sometimes come through to you as you go about your chores.

You pay little heed, however.  You think this is just your “imagination.”  The unknown reality is alive in your own psyche.  There are hints of it in all of your experience.  You would not be alive, in your terms, if first you did not imagine yourself as you are.  Play is, in fact, one of the most practical methods of survival, both individually and for the species.  Within its framework lie the secrets of creativity, and within the secrets of creativity lie the secrets of being”. – The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. II, Session 732.

and

“Every restriction you feel and experience in the physical is a restriction you have placed psychologically upon the self. We do not think it can be more clearly stated than this. And each person chooses the vehicles, the methods, the ways in which they will interact with the world. That is, how they will achieve the results they are seeking. What forms are acceptable or not acceptable. The mechanics of how their own personal reality functions.”

“Becoming conscious simply means becoming aware of your thoughts and choosing the thoughts you will entertain. Another way to look at this is the same way you look at drawing a picture. You choose the materials you will use, the colors, different materials, the markers, pencils etc. Sometimes the drawing appears. You draw the lines and wait to see what you get. Making choices as you go. Sometimes you choose a subject first and attempt a rendering of that subject. Either way you are drawing. One is more full of surprises than the other. One is more predictable. The predictable work may seem to be more difficult to accomplish, precisely because you have preconceived ideas about the nature of its being. Ideally, you can choose the subject intuitively and then allow the drawing to emerge by following impulses that flow naturally one to the other. In this way you remove the rational mind from the process as director. It becomes the observer. It’s quite an easeful and simple process, and yet achieving it can sometimes seem difficult. It’s not the individual lines that make up the picture but the over all effect of all the lines.”

And in these I’ve found my answer.  It’s simple, really, but complex at the same time.  The answer is joy.  Every moment I invest in joy, I am open and allowing.  And every moment I’m not in joy, I’m closed off.  My answer to providing what I desire is not in serious study.  It’s not in learning about the intricacies of the universe.  It’s not in applying myself judiciously to my task.  It’s about living in joy.  By living in joy I bring to myself more things that are joyful.  By being serious, I bring a life of seriousness.  The rest is details.  In Shore Slocum’s interview he asked, “What do you love so much you’d do it for free?”  And the answer for me is that the things I love so much I’d do for free, I couldn’t see a way of making money from.  I love to make photographs, just as my way of connecting with the earth.  I love cycling, and walking in the woods.  I love to read.  I love to cook.   I love to be around Marcia.  I love to shop for things I want.  I love to buy things.  I love to travel.  I love fast cars and fancy hotels.  I love good food.  I love sunrises and sunsets and children’s laughter.  I love to play.  There are a whole lot of things I love, but none of them fit the mould of life in this society, where one has to work to make money to pay bills…  And so in doing the things I love I’ve also felt guilty because it meant someone else was providing for me.   And so I’ve felt like I shouldn’t be doing the things I want to do, that I should be buckling down and looking for work instead.  And I’ve parceled out my happiness a little bit at a time when what I’ve wanted is to be able to live in this society without working, so that both Marcia and I can do the things we love.  That’s joy to me.  That’s perfection as I see it.  And imagining those things brings me joy, but I’ve lost the sense of joy when it comes to translating those imagined ideas into physical reality.  I love the idea of giving money to others, of creating a business where others are valued and happy, of working with the latest green building techniques.  I love the idea of taking photography courses, and working with my new cameras.  This brings me great joy!  I love spending long, lazy mornings in bed with Marcia.  I love having a house to work on – not too much, just little things here and there.  I love teaching other people what I’ve learned, and learning from them.  But what I need to surrender here is the idea that I can’t live the life I want to live in this reality because it doesn’t fit with what everyone else is doing.  Find joy in every moment.  That’s my instruction to myself.  I like it!  Find joy in doing what I’m doing, and stop worrying about how it’s going to happen.  This connects to what I was reading yesterday in the CC writings.  Hang on a second…

“Recognizing What Is Yours, Integrity and Compromise, Necessity of Experiential Understanding

What you are seeing now is the clarity of your understanding of the situation of what it is to be in physical expression. Moving past the self-imposed dramas of acting in any way against what is yours or against what is you brings this clarity into focus. So that what is yours feels joyous and harmonious and that which is not feels more or less like death. Choices have become very clear and simple.

You should understand at this time that any doubt or sense of confusion within the self is only an illusion you have created on top of a truth that is plainly visible to you. That is to say, should you find yourselves questioning yourselves you are simply toying with yourselves. We do not recommend this. So stop toying. For truly you have had enough of toying. Honestly and truly. Your deep sense at this time of what is possible and your clear understanding of your power and position in this regard is your greatest strength. Do not capitulate this strength to any outside force, belief, idea, or persons. Recognize that your opportunities to express these ideas to others can be used as a tool to clarify and strengthen your position, and use it this way. For now you truly are in a place where you CAN use all experience, thought, and evidence to your advantage. You CAN believe, you can KNOW that all is working together for your good. To the extent that you acknowledge this – walk within this experience and know this truth in your being. It will, out of necessity, be experienced.”

There’s more, but that one sentence – ‘…what is yours feels joyous and harmonious and that which is not feels more or less like death.’  That’s what I’m talking about.

Live in joy, and never, ever let anyone tell me otherwise.

Lesson for the day.

Love,
Me.

“You must understand that your present is the point at which flesh and matter meet with the spirit. Therefore the present is your point of power in your current lifetime, as you think of it. If you assign greater force to the past, then you will feel ineffective and deny yourself your own energy.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 656.

And then today’s Tut quote was:

Just wanted to remind you that sometimes success is better measured in smiles received, giggles heard, and hands held, than in dollars earned, deadlines met, and kilos shed.

And I must say, you’ve done well for yourself.
Yeah us!

By the way, you’re on my vision board this very moment, with your new fulfilled desire!… giggling.

Our last ‘He Says, She Says’ blog post was about the stories we tell ourselves, and one thing I wrote in there was a belief that also surfaced fairly recently.  In simple terms, it was that ‘the body never forgets what we do to it’.  Here’s what I wrote:

“Actually, I had an interesting belief surface yesterday.  Marcia had a sore shoulder (too much computer work perhaps), and as I was massaging the area the thought popped into my head, “The body never forgets what we do to it.”  As someone who’s accumulated his share of scars (both physical and non-) over the years, this is a belief I developed years and years ago.  Sometimes when I’m tired or sore and my scars start to ache, I’d remind myself that the body never forgets.  What I was really telling myself was that my body would never forgive, not really, and it was in those ‘weaker’ moments when it would choose to remind me.  It was a belief, my belief, and I just never questioned it.  Not until now, anyway.  But what if there’s a different story I can tell myself instead?  What if my body only exists ‘Now’, free of the past inasmuch as I’m willing to allow myself to be?  What if there is really nothing to forget, nothing to forgive?  My body has a tremendous ability to heal itself.  Now that’s a very different story.”

_____
December 18, 2009
Hello, Michael:

First of all, Happy 181^st Monthaversary to us!  Wow…

So… I had a couple of really interesting thoughts come to me the other night, both tied in to what I wrote the other day.  The first was to see myself living at SP, but living there in full harmony, the way I am now, and more.  Basically it was a reminder of what I wrote, that receiving the money, being wealthy, etc. are extensions, expressions of my joy, of being who I am.  I don’t have to surrender who I am in order to receive the things I desire; in fact it’s quite the opposite.  I believe that my idea that I would have to surrender myself in order to move to SP for example has been hindering me from getting there.  That’s not to say that I’ve been stopped or prevented from receiving these things, only that I haven’t been willing to give up one in order to have the other.  And now I realize I don’t have to.  I must admit I really like the idea of living this way as an expansion of who I am, and seeing things coming to me as a by-product of being myself.

The other thought that came to me the other day was something I woke up with in the middle of the night.  I was going to get up and write it down, but decided against it and simply set myself to remember it in the morning.  The message I got was simply, “Seek joy, not knowledge.”  That’s very profound for me, in several different ways.  For one, back to when I first learned the idea of ‘you form your own reality’, I figured there must be a process to it.  Since I was at the time separated from my very Being, I consequently decided that in learning this process I could master it and therefore use it as I wished to do.  That’s been a very long road for me, and it has other threads as well.  For one, as I’ve written before, I prized my intellect over everything else, at least partially because that’s where I was given the most credit.  But it was also partially because of my interest in the scientific process, partially because of my intense desire to master my own fate, and for several other reasons.  What I couldn’t see in the beginning was that the process as I saw it was far too linear, and my understanding of ‘knowledge’ far too specific.  As Seth said:

“The conscious mind sees with a spectacular but limited scope. It lacks all peripheral vision. I use the term ‘conscious mind’ as you define it, for you allow it to accept as evidence only those physical data available for the five senses—while the five senses, of course, represent only a relatively flat view of reality, that deals with the most apparent surface.

“The physical senses are the extensions of the inner senses that are, in one way or another, a part of each physical species regardless of its degree. The inner senses provide all species with an inner method of communication. The cells then, possess inner senses.

“Atoms perceive their own positions, their velocities, motions, the nature of their surroundings, the material that they compose. [Your] world did not just come together, mindless atoms forming here and there, elements coalescing from brainless gases—nor was the world, again, created by some distant objectified God who created it part by part as in some cosmic assembly line. With defects built in, mind you, and better models coming every geological season.

“The universe is formed out of what God is.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 1, session 886.

Also:

“The inner self has a vast and infinite reservoir from which to draw knowledge and experience. All kinds of choices are available, and the diversity of physical matter is a reflection of this deep source and variety.” ~ The Seth Material, Session 509.

It’s mostly the first sentence, “The conscious mind sees with a spectacular but limited scope.” that I was referring to, although the rest of it certainly fits as well.  As Seth said in the first quote above, we tend to limit ourselves in terms of what information, what knowledge we’ll allow our conscious minds to accept.  I’ve been involved with expanding the capabilities of my conscious mind for a very long time, but in using the old ideas, the old tools, I’ve limited how much I’ve been capable of expanding.  To me, knowledge has been an accumulation of facts, built up, sorted through, and discarded as new information became available.  This ‘Seek joy, not knowledge’ has given me some new perspectives to consider.  Seth talks about ‘unconscious knowing’ and in the CC writings they talk about a ‘new knowing’, both of which suggest that there’s a different level of experience, a different aspect of knowledge that I’ve so far missed pretty completely.  This promises to be exciting.  By ‘Seek joy, not knowledge’, I’ve suggested to myself that there’s a different Way of experiencing that goes beyond the bounds of what I’ve previously set for myself.

Another way of looking at this is that the suggestion itself is like a Zen koan.  ‘Seek joy, not knowledge’ is like a snake eating its own tail because joy isn’t something one can really seek.  My old friend Paul Cormack once wrote, “The happiness you seek is one you’ll never find, because usually the happiness you seek is one you didn’t know you left behind.”  Joy isn’t something one can seek, it’s something one finds within.  Joy is a choice.  No matter the circumstances of my life, how well or how poorly my life is going at the moment, in every moment I have the choice to decide how I’m going to feel.  This can be in relation to or irrespective of the circumstances of my life.  To seek joy is simply to make a choice to experience it, to make it a central focus around which to pattern the other aspects of my life.  From the time I was a boy my life had the search for greater and greater knowledge as a central focus; switching this focus to living in joy is a very different Way of Being.  Joy is the process – seeing myself living in joy is more powerful than believing that I’ll be safe if I have a load of money in the bank sort of thing…  The first involves trust, and the second negates it.

Love,
Me.

“Using the inner senses, we become conscious creators, cocreators.” ~ Seth Speaks, session 515.

_____
December 21, 2009
Hello, Michael:

Well, today I did something I haven’t done in a long time.  I left my computer at home and went down to the local coffee shop with only my notebook.  It’s funny to think about because I got the laptop specifically so that I wouldn’t have to write things out longhand and then type them into the computer.  Still, the experience felt different somehow.  Anyway, here’s what I wrote:

Well, it’s the first day of ‘winter’ here in Victoria, which means it’s 6^o C and new shoots are coming up.  Okay, I have a couple of related thoughts to add in here.  A few days ago I received a thought that said, “Seek joy, not knowledge.”  I’ve already written some about this, but the thought that came to mind goes back to when I first read about Seth’s concept of, ‘you form your own reality’.  From the beginning I decided that there must be a process to this creation of reality, and all I needed to do was to learn how to do it and then practice it until I mastered it.  That was what I set out to do, with varying degrees of success, but I could never come up with a concrete ‘step by step’ guide.  Still, I kept trying.  I’ve written before about how I learned to prize my intellect and to hone it, and that was also a part of it.  The idea of “Seek joy, not knowledge” came at the perfect time, however.  No surprise there…  I’ve been writing lately about knowledge, and about different ways of perceiving knowledge that go beyond the strict scientific linear idea of knowledge and an increasing accumulation of ‘facts’.  There’s intuitive knowledge for example.  Seth talks about unconscious knowledge, and in the CC writings they talk about a ‘new knowing’.  All of these hint at a new way of learning or experiencing that goes beyond the linear idea I’ve had of ‘knowledge’.  I find it rather intriguing, actually.  Another thought that came to me regarding this is along the lines as seeing joy as the foundation of reality creation.  I’m not talking about joy as a linear path to creation the way I once would have; rather what I’m thinking is, “What if being in a state of joy is the nursery that allows desires to grow into manifestation?”  Seth talks about spontaneity knowing its own order, and that reality creation is achieved using a basic unpredictability:

“… magic is everywhere in the operation of your body, and in the operation of the world.

“My definition of magic is this: Magic is nature unimpeded, or magic is life unimpeded. It is true that your thoughts and emotions and beliefs form the reality that you experience – but it is also true that this creative construction is, in a manner of speaking, magically formed. That is, the construction of your body and the construction of a world are produced with the greatest combination of order and spontaneity – an order and spontaneity that seems hidden rather than apparent.” ~ The Way Toward Health, March 10, 1984.

Actually, writing that got me thinking of reality creation as an organic process.  With a tree for example, one plants the seed and provides care and watering, but the plant grows itself.  It sprouts new leaves, flowers, etc. on a schedule that makes some intrinsic sense.  Creating a loving environment can certainly help, but one can’t ‘force’ the tree to grow.  I’ve always seen reality creation as a mechanistic process, whereby one uses skill, pattern, method – a clockworks or sorts.  Now I sound like René Descartes.  Hmmm…

That’s certainly given me something to think about.  Coupled to that is another thought that came to me yesterday.  Similar to ‘Seek joy, not knowledge’, the thought was that rather than seeking health, wealth, wisdom, synchronicity or whatever, I should seek only to be the fullest expression of myself, and to make those other qualities or aspects a part of that.  The reason behind this is that we each have our own beliefs and ideas about what it means to have perfect health, or to be wise, or to be wealthy, or to be _____ or to have _____.  And by seeing those ideas as fixed goals or endpoints that we seek to achieve, we do two things.  One, we see that who we are right now isn’t the person who is _____ or has _____ and we begin to judge ourselves based on our current position.  I’ve done so many times.  The next step we take is that we begin to alter who we are to become the person we believe we have to be in order to be _____ or have _____.  Let’s take money for example; it’s an easy one to work with.  There are several movies out that profile someone suddenly experiencing wealth or success, and many cases the person involved transforms him or herself into someone else.  “Mr. Deeds Goes to Town” and “Ziegfeld Girl” are both good examples.  I believe there are two possibilities for this.  One possibility is that this is the true self of the person involved, and suddenly achieving the means to achieve their aims releases the person they’ve kept repressed.  The other possibility as I see it is that the person involved holds beliefs and ideas about how a wealthy or successful person is supposed to be or act, and having sudden success or wealth alters him or her to fit that assumed role.  I offer these ideas without judgment, and in both cases the person may be involved in ways that can be perceived as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  Using the first idea, releasing the person within, an angry person would become more angry and a jealous person would find more reasons to be jealous, but a joyful person would become more joyful and a generous person more generous.  Who they perceive themselves to be, at least in part, would be magnified.  As to the second scenario, Bob Proctor once said, “Most people live their lives the way they think other people think they should live.”

To me, though, the most important aspect of this way of being (seeking to be _____ or to have _____) is that it objectifies the ideal and moulds the self this way and that in order to fit in with those objectified ideas.  An analogy would be to go to school and to sign up for courses, whereby the student has to go from room to room, adapting his or her life to fit a fixed schedule.  I’ve lived a good portion of my life that way, and I’m not just talking about school.  I’ve become very adept at being a chameleon, adapting myself to every new situation, every new circumstance.  When one considers that we are each responsible for forming the reality that we experience – individually and en masse – then I am continually adapting to a world that I’m forming in the first place.  Because of the nature of LOA, the ‘Universe’ simply keeps turning the merry go round that I’ve decided I should be on.  I’ve become a dog chasing my own tail.  It’s rather like beating your head against the wall; it feels so good when you stop.

The alternative then is to seek to be the fullest expression of myself.  Here the Self that I am is held in the center of things, and rather than shifting and adapting myself to meet new conditions, my world adapts to meet the vibration that I’m offering.  I don’t have to give up the idea of having _____ or being _____, but the focus shifts and becomes one of ‘Who am I with _____?’ or ‘How do I feel as _____?’  Expression of the Self, of ‘Me’ is the central ‘goal’ here.  That doesn’t mean the Self is fixed or immutable.  Quite the contrary, but the difference is that growth and change are primarily internal and then expressed out into the world.  As simple question to one’s self is, “Do I want to be _____ or to have _____ because that is how I see the best expression of myself or is there some other reason?”  With this discovery comes choice.

One final note for now… something else that came to me recently.  In my search for knowledge over the years I’ve always been very inclusive of what I’ve come across because I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity.  Even when I didn’t think something would apply to me, I was afraid to pass it by, ‘just in case’.  As time goes on I’ve become more selective in what I’ve been willing to accept, and the thought that came to me is that there’s a difference between being ‘defining’ and ‘confining’.

Okay, it’s later, and I have one more thought to include here before the day is out.  There are a lot of things going on in my life at the moment, and on the surface at least there appears to be little I can do to rein them in to any modicum of order.  Now in my old way of thinking my conversation with myself would go something along the lines of, “There are a lot of things going on in my life and there appears to be nothing I can do about them!  I’m willing to put in the effort, but I need my inner self to provide the opportunities for me, and I seem to be letting myself down once again.  What am I going to do?”  It’s a question I’ve asked myself this question more than once over the years.  However, in learning to adapt a new perspective, my conversation with myself goes more like this: “There are a lot of things going on in my life right now, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about them.  However, as Bashar would ask, of the things I ‘can’ do, which one of them brings the highest level of excitement?  I’ve made my directions and desires plain to my inner Being, and I know that all of this is being worked out perfectly in Framework 2.  That there appears to be nothing for me to ‘do’ means simply that it’s not yet time for me to take action on them.  However, I’m open to suggestions from my own Being, and I’m comfortable with the knowing that when there is some action for me to take, I’ll know it.  In the meantime, the best I can do is simply to relax and let go and allow Source to carry me.”  Being a conscious co-creator, these two stances go beyond mere proselytizing because the thoughts and feelings that I have, formed out of the beliefs that I hold, form the foundation of the reality that I do experience.  Therefore, those two different Ways of Being produce very different experiences for me.  It reminds me of the following section from the CC writings:

Ease and Magic

It’s interesting to note that when you no longer require the complications of mental entanglements, things just drop naturally into place. Everything happens with a kind of ease. The ease itself is the nature of the new creation. Stepping into the natural flow, understanding how Framework 2 (Potentiality) surrounds and encompasses Framework 1 (Physical Manifestation/Reality), and allowing your knowingness to move easily within the larger framework. This is the realm of true magic.

Also, I came across the following quote from Seth, and it fits in very well here:

“Your whole civilization is immersed with the idea that the way to solve a problem – any problem, private or worldwide – is to exaggerate it, see its worst projection; and this, then, is supposed to make you take proper action.

The approach unfortunately solves no problems, and only compounds them, whether the nation is trying to solve problems of energy, or social problems, or whether an individual is try to overcome a dilemma.

You are so immersed in that method of problem solving, however, that it comes back to haunt you. At least you can be aware of it and alert.

I will give you the answers to your questions, but they are not the way to solve your problem–and against all conventional knowledge, reviewing the mistakes of the past does not lead to wisdom.

When you become so worried, of course, you concentrate even further on the problem–how bad it is, and what will happen if it becomes worse in the future.

The problem is, therefore, compounded to whatever degree–and when I give you both such reasons, then sometimes you use them, the two of you, to ADD TO your private and joint self-disapproval.

(snip)

The belief is that if you frighten yourself badly enough through imagined projections and imagination, you will be frightened enough to change–but the nation or the individual following that method does not change for the better, but compounds the original condition, concentrates upon it until it looms larger than before.

Such methods cause panic, national or individual.

(snip)

To solve a problem you begin to minimize its characteristics, diminish its importance, rob it of your attention, refuse it your energy.

The method is the opposite, of course, of what you are taught.

That is why it seems to be so impractical. I have said this so many times–and I do realize it is difficult for you–but you cannot concentrate upon two things at once. So to the extent that you concentrate upon your pleasures, your accomplishments, and to the extent that you relate to the PSYCHIC AND BIOLOGICAL MOMENT, you are refreshing yourselves.

You are not projecting negatively, and you are allowing the problem to un-wrinkle, un-knot.

You are denying it the energy of your attention that keeps it going.

You do not spend time thinking that you have not used your abilities properly. You take it for granted that you ARE using them properly, and that allows them to fully develop.” ~ The Personal Sessions, Book 4, Session 08/14/78, pgs 332-334.

Love,
Me.

“Direct cognition is an inner sense. In physical terms you might call it remote sensing. Your physical body, and your physical existence, are based upon certain kinds of direct cognition, and it is responsible for the very functioning of the reasoning mind itself. Scientists like to say that animals operate through simple instinctive behavior, without will or volition: It is no accomplishment for a spider to make its web, a beaver its dam, a bird its nest, because according to such reasoning, such creatures cannot perform otherwise. The spider must spin his web. If he chooses not to, he will not survive. But by that same reasoning – to which, of course, I do not subscribe – you should also add that man can take no credit either for his intellect, since man must think and cannot help doing so.

“Some pessimistic scientists would say: ‘Of course,’ for man and animal alike are driven by their instincts, and man’s claim to free will is no more than an illusion.

“Man’s reasoning mind, however, with its fascinating capacity for logic and deduction, and for observation, rests upon a direct cognition – a direct cognition that powers his thoughts, that makes thinking itself possible. He thinks because he knows how to think by thinking, even though the true processes of thought are enigmas to the reasoning mind.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 1, session 908.
_____

Welcome back.  As with my last writings post, I’m going to dip into my ‘Future Me‘ archives.  The following contains an excerpt from a book by Melody Lawson, and an interview between Chris Atwood and Shore Slocum.  It also contains more [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  As with my last writings post, I’m going to dip into my ‘Future Me‘ archives.  The following contains an excerpt from a book by Melody Lawson, and an interview between Chris Atwood and Shore Slocum.  It also contains more of my random mental wanderings.  It’s funny, but since Marcia and I started this blog, I haven’t had much time to do any ‘writing’ of my own! 

Love,
Mike.

P.S.  I wrote before about how I came to share my writings with the world at large.  I was reminded the other day about this quote from ‘The Gospel of Thomas’:

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

_____
November 28, 2008
Hello, Michael:

I had a few thoughts last night just before turning off the light and heading to sleep:

What is the power of my intention?  What is the ability of my intention to create in this world?  Working with my hands I can only affect those things I can reach with my hands.  What is the reach of my intention?

Everything – not just my inner self, not just my body, but even my most sacred individuality – my conscious mind and ego are Source energy.  It’s not that Spirit is directing me, I am Spirit, directing myself.  I finally understand what it means to be individual and One at the same time.

Intention = action.  Not action moving through the body, but action moving through energy.  I’ve always thought of intention as something passive, but it isn’t.  Intention, like love, is an active, moving force.  Although it’s a lousy analogy, think of war through the centuries.  Centuries ago wars were fought physically, hand to hand, man to man.  As time progressed and technology advanced, war changed from being a battle of the physical to being more of a battle of energy.  With atomic bombs, a simple push of a button brings about a destructive change that outdoes all of the wars fought before, combined.  Creating action through intention is MUCH more powerful than creating action through physical expression.  This doesn’t negate physical action, but it does shift focus somewhat.

Here are a couple of interesting articles that I came across online…

“Give Up All Hope
by: Melody Larson

I know that nothing has ever been real
Without my beholding it.
All becoming has needed me.
My looking ripens things
And they come toward me, to meet and be met.

~ Rainier Maria Rilke, from The Book of Hours

You are a master at beholding. You beheld your very self before you came into this world and manifested your very own current human form. When you remember what you’ve forgotten, that you are a powerful and deliberate creator, you will laugh out loud at the delights you can bring into your life.

Do you find yourself praying or intending in a way that is closer to pleading? Are you asking the Universe for assistance and hoping it will deliver? Are you relying on other people or on outer circumstances in order to get what you want? You need not ask, then hope, then wait, for the Universe to bring you what you desire. You are the bringer. You are the beholder. You are the chooser and the allower of everything, everything that exists in your life!

Give up all hope that anyone or anything will bring you what you desire. It is all up to you, all of it. Giving up all hope sounds frightening and disempowering but in reality it is the most freeing, empowering thing you could ever do for yourself and your world. You stop worrying that there is any circumstance outside of you that can sabotage your efforts. You realize that you are in control of it all. The Spirit you pray to is not separate from you and you begin to tap into your soul power. There is no single circumstance that can interfere with your desires, nothing outside of you that can get in the way of manifesting what you want. You no longer have to “let things take their course” because you decide the course.

If you hope for something you want to come true, it implies that some power outside of you is going to make it happen, that somehow you are not the attractor of your every experience. It’s like you are alone in a boat but how did you get here? And why don’t you have any oars? But if you can reach for a little bit better place than hope, like allowing, you are getting closer to at least seeing that you put yourself in this boat and oh, here are the oars. You don’t quite know how to use them very well yet, but you can try steering and allow what will happen to happen, knowing you are getting better and better at navigating your future. So instead of saying, “I hope what I want will come to me” you might try saying “I allow what I want to come to me” or “I choose what I want to come to me.”

Even better than allowing and choosing is expecting. In this case, you realize you chose to get in the boat, you are a master at using those oars, and you have a specific destination you are rowing yourself towards. You know fully that you are the bringer of your every experience and that nothing and nobody outside of you can affect your own attraction. The moment you desire something to happen, you simply expect it to happen. This is the most delicious knowing you can ever experience because you are seeing the world and yourself as your soul sees it.

So stop wishing! Stop wanting! Stop hoping! Stop yearning! Instead, start choosing, claiming, allowing and expecting your desires to manifest from within you into your outer world! Every desire you can conceive of in your imagination means that it is alive inside of you. It already exists so there is nothing to hope for. You already have it. You need only claim it, and allow it to spill forth from within you into physical form.

Wishing, wanting, hoping, yearning… all of these imply that you are somehow powerless. If you are dissatisfied with what you have attracted into your life through your own consciousness, your own concept of yourself, simply change that self-concept now. Choose to. Stop hoping someone or something is going to come along and change your circumstances. It isn’t possible. Instead, decide to create something more to your liking.

Choose to feel good now. Invite excitement, expectancy, happiness, love, appreciation and gratitude into your heart and into your mind now! That is the only way to invite excitement, expectancy, happiness, love, appreciation and gratitude into your life. You are here for the sole purpose of creating a life of passion and joy! You are in charge. Take whatever actions are necessary. Anything that has ever blossomed into your life, be it a weed or a flower, has needed you. You are the gardener. What will you plant, knowing that the soil you cultivate produces anything you desire?”

Excerpted from the book ‘Delighting the Soul: Lessons on Life Purpose, Authenticity & the Law of Attraction.’”

And the second one, from the same site:

“Shore Slocum – Plugging into Your Passions
by: Chris Attwood

Mahatma Gandhi described what living our passions allows us to do when he said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Shore Slocum lives by this maxim. For over 20 years, he has combined his study of the science of achievement and personal development with an active role in corporations all over the world. His corporate clients include companies like FedEx, Southwest Airlines, Quaker Oats, Prudential, and many more.

He’s worked closely and collaborated with other great speakers, leaders and authors. This includes people like Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Mary Manin Morrissey, Bob Proctor, John Assaraf, Norman Schwarzkopf, Scott deMoulin, Anthony Robbins, Mary Lou Retton, Larry King, Zig Ziglar, Bobby Knight, Dan O’Brien and Christopher Reeve. He has been a catalyst in helping thousands of people achieve their dreams.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Shore, it’s an honor and a treat to have you with us tonight. Thanks so much for joining us.

SHORE SLOCUM: Thank you, Chris. It’s great to be here. What an intro! Thank you very much.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: A well-deserved one, I must say. Shore, we call this series The Passion Series. Will you share with us, to start, the role that passion has played in your life? What are the things that you care most about, and how have they played into your success and how you’ve lived your life?

SHORE SLOCUM: Chris, I would say two things. First, when I’m not plugged into my passion, that’s when the things that I care about and I really want to do don’t show up. I think there are two sides to it. It’s a feeling like there’s a yearning, that we’re empty, or we’re feeling like there’s something missing. That generally means that we’re missing that fire, the energy that comes from passion.

As I plugged in over the last 22 years more consciously into my passions, I’ve noticed that when I really follow them, when I really go into what is calling me to my highest good, then what I call predictable miracles show up in my life. The people show up; the resources, the creativity, and everything I need to do what I’m here to do comes into play. I just love when I’m plugged in, and I feel very empty when I’m not plugged in. It’s not that I’m an empty person, but I just feel like I’m missing what I’m here to do when I’m not plugged into my passions, if that makes sense.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Absolutely. What I hear is that when you’re plugged into your passions, it’s like you’re connected to your purpose, the reason that you’re here.

SHORE SLOCUM: Absolutely. My belief is that we all have a reason we’re here, we all have something to give to this world, and we have something to do here. Part of our responsibility in being here as human beings-not human doings-is to live that purpose and share that gift. Really, the only way you amplify it and the only way you really, truly live it is when you plug in with passion.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Will you tell us the story of how you’ve lived that, how you got started down the road that you’re traveling today?

SHORE SLOCUM: I was trying to think of the last time I could really remember not being totally plugged into my passion. There are several times along the journey that you get distracted or you follow a project you know you’re not supposed to do. Or, you push it too hard and it doesn’t come from the inner yearning, the soul; it comes from your intellect. I know you know what I’m talking about.

What really set it up for me is this. I went to a boarding school for high school and did very well, but the expectation of my parents was that I was going to go to college. I was going to be a lawyer like my stepdad, a doctor like my grandfather, or a veterinarian like my father. There was all this expectation about what I was supposed to do. I had a great GPA. I was very well educated. I got to college, and I was there for four months.

I thought, “What am I doing here? There’s no reason to be here.” I didn’t know why I was supposed to be there, so I left. I got involved in retail sales at the age of 17, because I graduated early from high school. I did very well in retail sales, but after a Christmas in retail I decided I never wanted to do that again, work 95-hour weeks. Do you know what I’m talking about? I was managing 42 people at my store at the age of 17 years old.

I walked into the break room and saw about 25 people who have been selling refrigerators, appliances and car stereos for, some of them, 20 or 30 years. They’re smoking cigarettes and eating donuts, and I said, “I’ve got to get out. This is not what I’m here to do.” It’s funny, but when you open up yourself to the possibility of what’s next and you really understand that there’s probably a higher thing guiding a lot of your actions, at that moment your awareness becomes open to other things.

A client of mine came in and said, “Would you like to go to a free program?” That was the first seminar I ever went to. I had just turned 18, and I went to this seminar. It was Anthony Robbins, and a lot of people know who Anthony Robbins is. He didn’t have a book. He didn’t have an infomercial. He was nobody anybody knew about, but I went there, and after 20 minutes I knew I was going to be in this work.

I knew I was going to be doing this work. I went up to him at the break and said, “Tony, my name is Shore. You’re up to some amazing stuff here. I’m going to work for you. When should I start?” Literally, six days later I had moved from Oregon to California. I was living in a corporate apartment promoting a seminar, and I was 18 years old. That’s where this whole journey began.

I’ve been kind of plugged into my own personal development, which I think at some point grew into more of a spiritual development, which was part of my process of going through and finding my passion. Now I’m really tuned in and turned on about helping people find and live these universal laws that make such a difference in tapping into that passion.

It’s been a journey of 23 years since the point that happened. Along the way there have been a lot of nuances, a lot of growth, and a lot of work. I wake up every day and I pinch myself. I really feel lucky to be able to do what I do.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Isn’t that one of the tests of whether or not you’re aligned with your passions?

SHORE SLOCUM: I have this great friend. He’s one of my best friends in the whole world; I’m the godfather of his four children. His name is Doug Hansen, and he was exceptional at computer sales. He had been the top salesperson at Toshiba, Compaq, and HP. He left the business at the top of his game because he just didn’t feel he could do it anymore. He got into consulting, into teaching and into doing things that really got his juices going.

It really helped him with passion. He said the greatest thing to me; he said, “Shore, I am making three times more money than I ever have. Not that that’s important; but the crazy thing is that I’m not trying to make more money, and I am. It’s not that money is a measure, but here’s the crazy thing, Shore. I love what I do every day so much I would do it for free.” I thought that is the ultimate litmus test. That’s the ultimate test if you’re living your passion.

Do you love what you do most of your waking life so much you would do it for free? Here’s the irony of it. When you really love what you do, you’ll probably get compensated more than you could ever imagine, and you don’t have to fight to get compensated. It just comes to you that you’ve opened up the channels for you to live your gift and your purpose.

My belief is that God wants you to have the Kingdom, and the Kingdom is all of it. It’s living in that place and all those things that come with it, but it’s also the abundance that every one of us deserves. It’s our birthright because we’re part of all that creation. When you’re plugged in, you can’t help but have that, I think.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: That’s actually a wonderful vision when you think about it. You’ve begun to touch on this; but in the work you do and what you teach you talk a fair amount about consciousness. Why is consciousness so important to your work and to what you teach, and what do you mean by consciousness?

SHORE SLOCUM: When I look at my mini-mission statement of what I try to guide my life by at this point in my life-and that shifts and evolves as we go along-if I were to sum it up in one phrase I would say this. My job here, my work here, what gets me going and what I think I’m here to do at this point-and it may change in the next year or five years from now-is to help people wake up.

What I mean by ‘wake up’ is to be more aware. I think there are so many people right now who are asleep. They’re asleep, they’re dead, and they’re numbing themselves with drugs, with alcohol, with TV, with shopping and with the distractions of life. At the core of themselves they really want to wake up to their higher good. Consciousness is the way, the process we go through-I call it your spiritual evolution-as you wake up.

A lot of your listeners have probably heard of the Buddha. A man came to the Buddha and said, “Are you God?” No. “Are you a saint?” No. “Are you a prophet?” No. “Are you an angel?” No. “What are you?” Buddha said, “I am awake.” Really, it’s that simple. Our process as a soul coming to this planetary plane, this human plane, is to go through a waking-up process, to go through a spiritual evolution, if you will.

What I mean by consciousness is that part of our role is to be more aware of where we are and then to open to our next level. I learned in my studies along the way and really getting into my spiritual work, which is what I do most of the time now, that as we go through this waking-up process, we generally go through stages. I’ve identified 15 stages we go through, but I can break it down to four.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Four would be easier here.

SHORE SLOCUM: Yes, four is much easier, and it’s really concise. I’ve worked with Dr. Michael Beckwith on this and Mary Morrissey, who you know, I think. As we go through this, a lot of people start at or are at a stage called ‘To Me’. That’s where the world is happening to me. The ‘To Me’ consciousness is really a victim consciousness. It’s where we feel like we have no choice in it, that the world is happening to us.

It’s the boss’s fault; it’s everybody else’s fault, and we have very little personal responsibility or spiritual responsibility for our circumstances. As you start to evolve, consciously you go to the next stage, which is where you feel like you have a little more empowerment. This it the work that I did with Tony in the early days when I used to work with him, and that I now do in corporations a lot.

Honestly, getting people from that ‘To Me’ stage to the next stage, which is what I call ‘By Me’, where you feel like you have a choice, that you can do something and that you have personal power-that’s a good quick word you might hear there-that’s when you feel like you can do something. You can do a certain thing and get a different result; do a certain things and get a different result.

The whole personal development and personal empowerment movement comes in this stage. What I love about that is that when people get out of victimhood and get into, “I have a choice. I’m responsible for my world,” into that consciousness, then they actually start to do things that will change their circumstances and that will change what they perceive as their reality. Does that make sense?

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Yes, sure.

SHORE SLOCUM: What happens at some point, though, generally is what happened with me. I was really into personal development, learning all the tools, the skills, and all that to make my life better, and I got great results. However, after doing that for several years I felt empty. I started to go on a little bit of a deeper path personally, a little bit deeper of a quest to find out what would help me wake up more. I felt like I was getting numb even though I was getting all the great results.

The next stage was what I call ‘Through Me’. That’s where you really step into a consciousness and start to let the universe, everything that’s connected to it, and everything that is in concert underneath the things that we can see, work. I think there are two worlds that we live in: the 1% world, which is the world of ‘see, hear, touch and feel’, the world we call manifest; and then there’s the 99% world, which is much more prevalent.

This is the quantum world, the endless world of universal laws, the spiritual world, if you will. That’s the dimension that has created all this. When you start to bridge the 1% to the 99%, you start to go to a deeper reality; you start to understand that there’s a concert, an organization, to all of it that’s linking it together. When you’re in the ‘Through Me’ consciousness, all of a sudden you start to let yourself be a conduit to this other world.

Life then starts to happen through you, not to you and not by you with you making it happen, but through you. Then you become a channel, and that is an amazing place to get to because the things you tried before to will, to make happen, the goals you set and achieve, all of this stuff was hard work. All of a sudden, they start happening almost effortlessly. They start to show up: the right people, the right resources, you find the right book, you meet the right person on the train, or you hear the right song.

The synchronicities go beyond what you could ever have made happen and your awareness also goes up. Then the fourth level, which I’ve glimpsed, maybe, a dozen times in my life-although I’m having more and more frequency with it-is what you would call ‘As Me’. I don’t even know how to put it into words. I had my first experience with this, actually, when I actually had a near-death experience when I was 17 years old.

I was windsurfing; I believe I died at the scene and I went to another place-I’ll just leave it at that-but it was the most incredible experience I’ve ever had to this point in my consciousness and my awareness. I can’t even describe it in words. What I will tell you is that everything that we all want was there in so much abundance that I knew I would never be alone again.

I knew I was never unloved and I would always be loved at a level that I couldn’t even describe. There was a reason for me being here. I had a choice to stay here on this plane or go there, and I chose to come back because I had more work to do. The bottom line is that when you get to ‘As Me’, it may be what you call Christ-consciousness, where there is no differentiating between anything. It’s all one. It’s the total unifying consciousness that binds it all together.

I’ve had glimpses of it in prayer, meditation and, I would say, a near-death experience, but it’s a pretty powerful thing. That’s when you can raise the dead, walk on water, and all those things that we connote as miracles. When there is no difference between you and everything, when you are it, when you are the ‘I Am That I Am’, as the burning bush said, then there’s this unifying energy that allows you to do anything, to manifest anything, and be in that place.

There’s kind of an evolution we’ve got to go through to move through that, and we are all at different stages and in different contexts in our life. You might be in a victim consciousness in relationships, but you might be in a ‘Through Me’ consciousness in your work. It’s contextual a little bit, as well.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: I really love your model: ‘To Me’, ‘By Me’, ‘Through Me’, ‘As Me’. That’s the basic, high-level division.

SHORE SLOCUM: Right, and then all the subcategories are underneath those, but those are the four big ones. I can send you a PDF if you want it, and you can use that however you want.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Yes, we’d love to make that available as a gift to our members.

SHORE SLOCUM: I’ll send it to you when we’re done with the interview today. The deal is that as you go through those four levels, you’ve got to understand that it’s not just trying to move toward the next level. That’s very hard from a victim consciousness. By the way, most of the world is in that victim consciousness, the ‘To Me’ consciousness. You see it as the economy starts to shift and as all these things are happening in our outer world, our 1% world.

People go to ‘To Me’ consciousness pretty quickly when they get scared or fear comes. We have to remind ourselves that in order to move, not to stay locked in a consciousness, or to stay locked in one of those areas, we have to give up something. In order to move from ‘To Me’ consciousness to ‘By Me’ consciousness, you have to give up something. You have to give up blame. This is a hard thing for a lot of people.

We blame our parents, we blame our circumstances, we blame our education, we blame our IQ, we blame our genes, we blame our boss, we blame the weather, and we have all these things that make it okay for us not to live at a higher awareness. In order to really go to ‘By Me’, you’ve got to give up those things. You’ve got to take what I call total spiritual responsibility for your life. Until you do that, it’s hard to grow.

At the same time, it’s hard when you’re in that consciousness to want to grow, so it’s kind of a paradox. The hardest time to want to get better is when you’re feeling lousy. That’s why it’s work; that’s why there’s work involved in this to go from ‘By Me’ when you’re in that make-it-happen, I’ll-do-anything mode. When I was in my early 20s, I was on fire as far as making it happen with passion and all that stuff, but I was in this ‘By Me’ mode so much, Chris.

If you put any obstacle in front of me, I would knock it over, go around it, go over it, go under it or whatever. I did that for eight years full-on, 20 hours a day, sleeping four hours a night with the workouts and everything. After that I was so burned out. I thought, “There’s got to be more than this.” I got all the accolades, I got the money, I got the fancy house, the cars, the woman, but it was empty at the end of the day. I think a lot of people have figured out that the stuff is not going to make them happy.

To go from ‘By Me’ to ‘Through Me’ you have to give up control, and that’s a big one because we want to have our say. We want it our way. We want it the way our small mind sees it, not the way our big soul desires it. Does that make sense? We get locked into the way we want it so much that we’re not open, maybe, to what the bigger picture is. We’re not open to all the other things that are showing up, which are put in our divine path to help us out with it.

We’re trying to control it all. This is a hard one. I still struggle with this all the time. I get locked into, “I want it my way.” Usually, what’s funny is that when I give that up, when I really understand that I’m locking into something that may not be my highest good, then something else will show up, and that something else is usually much better in the long run, looking back. We all have things like that. The one I work on most now is the move from ‘Through Me’ to ‘As Me’.

You have to give up any idea, any notion, and any cellular vibration of the idea of separation. You have to give up any idea of separation. That’s not an easy one to do, and that’s what my prayer work, my meditation work, and all of that is really aimed at, is stepping into place where we’re not separate from anything, where I can look at anything and know it’s part of me. It’s hard sometimes when a guy cuts you off, but it’s all that. It’s a process, for sure.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: It’s so interesting that we are on the phone doing this interview together, Shore, because we haven’t had the opportunity to spend a lot of time before now. I actually have a whole blog called Pipelines to the Soul that I write once a week or so on the practical implications of living in what I call unity, which is the state that you’re talking about of ‘As Me’. What does it mean on a practical day-to-day level to live that?

One of the things I want to ask you is this. As people move from one stage to another, how can they recognize where they are? Let’s just start there: how do they recognize where they are?

SHORE SLOCUM: First of all, it’s the easiest thing to understand if you’re not giving up stuff. The easiest way to know if you’re in ‘To Me’ is to ask yourself, “Am I blaming others, circumstances or anything outside of myself for my circumstances or the way I’m feeling?” In other words, if I’m feeling a certain way and I’m trying to make it about something else or somebody else, I’m in ‘To Me’; I’m in victimhood.

Again, that’s really hard to pop out of when you’re in it, but that’s the easiest way to recognize that you’re in it if you have any kind of blame, even blame of yourself. A lot of us just don’t love ourselves enough. Bob Procter, one of my good friends, always says, “I love myself so much I kiss myself right now!” He’s the funniest guy ever, and he doesn’t mean it in an egotistical way.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: No, of course not.

SHORE SLOCUM: He means it in a very real way, and I always have that visual when I talk about loving myself, because Bob’s got it. If you’re in ‘To Me’ you’re going to be blaming somebody, something, yourself, circumstances or anything. I had a woman the other day who went through one of my seminars-I was doing a health detox retreat. She showed up and said, “The reason I’m so overweight is because it’s my genes.” I said, “The ones you’re wearing right now?”

She started laughing and she said, “No, from my parents. They were like this, too.” I asked, “Is it possible that you didn’t inherit their genes, but you inherited their lifestyle?” It got her to think. It’s that whole awareness process. She’s been blaming the way she’s feeling and the way she’s looked for so long that she just accepted it as part of her reality. If you’re in ‘By Me’ and you’re living in that place, then you’re trying to control stuff.

Here’s the easiest way to know if you’re trying to control stuff: you get frustrated a lot. If you’re frustrated all the time with the way things are, the way people are, et cetera, then you’re trying to control. You’re not open to anything else, but frustration is the greatest flag to know if you’re trying to control.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: If we’re controlling, then this is the ‘By Me’ consciousness, right?

SHORE SLOCUM: Yes, and it’s not a bad consciousness. I think it’s the doorway to the ‘Through Me’ consciousness. Does that make sense? What I mean by that is you can’t just say, “Today I’m going to be an ‘As Me’.” I believe that could happen. You could just elevate to a different consciousness, and I believe that can happen in a moment, but for most of us it’s not going to happen just like that. We’re not going to hear the interview, and then all of a sudden we’re going to ascend.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Darn, Shore! Where’s the fun here?

SHORE SLOCUM: That would take the fun out of learning it for yourself, and we’re going to talk about that, I think, in a minute. Maybe we can talk about ‘earnership’. As you start to get in that place, you’ve got to understand that that’s part of the process of going through these levels of consciousness. Until you get it out of your system, you’re probably going to be drawn back to that consciousness.

I’ll give you an example. If you have this incredible urge to make money, to be powerful, to rule the world and all that stuff, that is a very ‘By Me’ consciousness. Here’s what I want to make clear. That’s not good or bad. There is no good consciousness or bad consciousness; it’s just what it is. Don’t put a judgment on where you are, what you’re going through, or anything like that.

Just know that that’s the consciousness that you’re in and that’s okay. That’s part of your evolution. It’s the only way you have contrast in your growth, by having something to contrast it to. As you are in a consciousness and you don’t get it out of your system-if you are after money, things or power, for instance-until you get it out of your system, you’ll always be drawn back to that.

When people come to me and say, “I feel like I’m not spiritual because I want a new Maserati, I want a bigger house, or I want to date three women a week,” I tell them, “Listen, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. That’s just where you are.” I tell them to go for it 1,000% and don’t make it wrong. There will be a point where you say, “There’s nothing left in this anymore for me.”

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Shore, I want to ask you a question about this because it relates directly to a lot of what we talk about relative to passion. If I want that Maserati or I want that house over the ocean and that’s my burning desire, it’s the thing that I want more than anything else, I could say in that moment that that is my passion, right?

SHORE SLOCUM: Right.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Is that still worthwhile? Is it still worthwhile for me to go for a passion that seems to be so material and, perhaps, in the overall scheme limited in its impact if it’s the most important thing to me right now?

SHORE SLOCUM: Here’s what I would say. Again, it’s not right or wrong. It’s just where you are. Don’t fight it, say it’s not spiritual or too materialistic, or whatever. That’s fine; you can put that label on it, but it won’t do you any good in elevating your consciousness or becoming more aware, I should say.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: I’m going to lead you a little bit on this point, and you can disagree if you’d like. One of the things that we say in The Passion Test is your passions are like breadcrumbs leading you on to fulfill your personal destiny, your life purpose or whatever you like. Is it possible that by going for the house or going for the Maserati that that’s the next step I need to take in order to get to the point of recognizing that that has limited meaning? Could it be taking me on, as you say, to the next stage of the evolution of my consciousness and my life?

SHORE SLOCUM: Absolutely! I’m so excited you said that. Maybe what you learned in going after the Maserati is what the real lesson was. It wasn’t the car itself. It was what you had to go through, what you had to elevate, the way you had to think, a person you met along the way, or you just needed to get it out of your system so you just went through it quicker. Rather than saying, “I’ve got to go to India because now I want a Maserati, so I better go meditate this out of my system,” no! Get the Maserati.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: Then get on to other things.

SHORE SLOCUM: Right. It’s part of the process. As we talk about that, the desire is from the Creator. That’s my belief. The desire is what you’re talking about, and that really comes from the 99% world. That comes from the spiritual dimension. I’ve been all over the world, as you have, Chris. You’ve worked with people. You’re obviously the expert on passion, so you know that at the end of the day we all at our heart of hearts and our core want the same thing.

We want to feel loved. We want to feel like we’re making a difference. We want to feel like we have a purpose, and all those things. You can boil it down to seven or 10 things that we all want. They’re usually not material things. They’re what I call true fulfillment. Real fulfillment is what we all really want. We strive for it, and sometimes we get things that come from desire that are temporary fulfillers.

I remember when I was growing up, our next-door neighbor had this little Alfa Romeo convertible car. It was a two-seater, and it was the coolest car I’d ever seen. It had the leather, it was sparkly, and she only took it out on the weekends. I thought, “That is the car I want.” Have you ever had one of those? “When I get that car, I will have made it. I will have everything I want.” When I was in my early 20s, about 22, I went into the dealership, and I bought that car with cash, brand new.

My head was so big I had to put down the convertible top to get out of the dealership because I couldn’t even get in the car. I drove out of there feeling, “I’m the man!” Literally, by the time I drove the 35 miles to where I was living at the time, I was pretty much over the car. It didn’t have a cup holder, and it was a stick shift. Why would I do that? It’s funny how you go through that.

The bottom line is that at the end of the day we’re going after fulfillment, but what we really want is what I call lasting fulfillment. We want those things that are going to create lasting fulfillment. Sometimes our way to get there is through temporary fulfillment, and it may just be the breadcrumbs, as you say, to get us to the deeper meaning.

CHRIS ATTWOOD: I want to take this point of desire and look at it a little bit more; because as you may be aware, and I’m sure you are aware, in the spiritual circles oftentimes desire is considered to be a major obstacle on the path to evolved consciousness, enlightenment, or lasting fulfillment, as you say. Yet, you’re talking about desire as being a useful or valuable thing. Could you speak a little bit about this dichotomy?”

Love,
Me.

“There are no happier people on this planet than those who decide that they want something, define what they want, get hold of the feeling of it even before it’s manifestation, and then joyously watch the unfolding, as piece by piece, by piece it begins to unfold. That’s the feeling of your hands in the clay.” ~ Abraham-Hicks
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November 29, 2008
Hello, Michael:

I’m going to start here with a Seth quote that reminds me of some friends:

“When people are convinced that the self is untrustworthy, for whatever reasons, or that the universe is not safe, then instead of luxuriating in the use of their abilities, exploring the physical and mental environments, they begin to pull in their realities – to contract their abilities, to overcontrol their environments. They become frightened people – and frightened people do not want freedom, mental or physical. They want shelter, a definite set of rules. They want to be told what is good and bad. They lean toward compulsive behavior patterns. They seek out leaders – political, scientific, or religious – who will order their lives for them.” ~ The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events, session 834.

Okay, a few quick thoughts based on some notes I scribbled in my little notebook. Here they are:

1. Manifestation always happens as fast as it can.
2. I’m doing the right thing.
3. It is right for me to expect manifestation in every moment.
4. It’s impossible to hinder this process.  It’s a matter of what am I choosing?
5. There are no limits to what I can create.
6. The places I dream of dream of me too.  This really intrigues me.  I watched ‘Practical Magic’ the other night, and at the beginning of the movie the one sister (Sandra Bullock) as a girl sends out a wish to fall in love with someone who has so many odd characteristics he can’t exist.  Of course later in the movie he shows up in her life, but she tries to get rid of him by telling him that he’s only there because of a spell she cast.  And his reply was, “I asked for you too.”  Imagine that in my looking for things, those things are asking for me too.  Wow…
7. In a world where my thoughts and ideas create my reality, my thoughts and ideas are very important.
8. From the quote above, I can luxuriate in the use of my abilities.  I like that!

“Some things you’re not letting happen right now because the timing isn’t perfect for you. Some you’re not letting happen because you are very aware of where you are. But all things, as they are happening, are happening in perfect order. And if you will relax and begin saying, “Everything in its perfect time. Everything is unfolding. And I’m enjoying where I am now, in relationship to where I’m going. Content where I am, and eager for more,” that is the perfect vibrational stance.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

“Your Inner Being is always guiding you toward what you are wanting. It is never protecting you from something else.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Love,
Me.
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November 30, 2008
Hello, Michael:

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m sitting in Starbucks having a coffee.  As I was walking down here I was thinking that in this moment all of my needs and none of my desires are being fulfilled.  I am in the bear place, as if in deep meditation, surrounded by stillness, with only an occasional ripple.  It feels like winter, but not death.  Rather I feel like a seed, awaiting spring and the chance to burst forward with new leaf.

And now I’m in a different place, seeking to learn the ways of the wizard, being able to manipulate things with intention rather than labour.  In the old way, labour = profit.  Work harder, earn more; work less, receive less.  And since I’m not working and receiving nothing, it would seem I’m still living with that model.  But things are different.  I know it, and I can feel it, even if I can’t see it.  I keep getting messages that tell me I’m on the right path.  Encouragements come from many places.  Insights, intuitions, revelations come from many places, too.  And it just came to me that what I’m looking for is a world that is just like me.  All my life I’ve found it so easy to give to others – big things, little things, intended, anonymous, whatever.  I have given so much that I’ve frightened people – and while I’ve never thought of it before, these people – D. for example, were like me in that they were overwhelmed in the receiving of all I had to give.

Something else just came to me.  I’ve long had this powerful sense of individuality, and so I’ve essentially created myself as the opposite of what I figured the world was, while of course making the world the opposite of me.  I’ve chosen qualities I’ve desired for myself, and set their opposites as what the world is.  Since I’ve wanted to give, the world has received.  I chose peace and left war to the world, and so on.  It’s certainly not a black/ white situation, but the important thing is that I’ve haven’t seen my world as a mirror image of me, but rather my opposite.

And slowly I’m discovering that those things I desire want me too.  It may be an ego boost, but I find it rather humbling.  And I am very grateful.  Imagine the world as a reflection of me…

2:00 a.m.

Maybe it’s just that I can stop seeing myself as being opposite of anyone or anything else.  I don’t need to compare myself to anyone else; I am me.

Also, I’ve been thinking that things like money have to come to me from someone else.  That’s not true.  It comes from me.  I’m here living in cooperation with others, but we’re each creating our own worlds.

Love,
Me.
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December 1, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s 2:30 p.m. and I’m at the Starbucks at Leathead.  Been doing some thinking as I walked, and one thing of course is the subject of money.  But it goes beyond that because what I’m really interested in is the subject of creation.  And it occurred to me that in my view of the world, most people aren’t focused on creation but on exchange.  People exchange money for goods, goods for goods, labour for money, money for rent or mortgage, utilities, etc.  And the bigger issue of course is not the issue of money, but the issue of supply.  If there’s a finite amount – of money, of resources, of whatever – then we have to keep shifting around what we have, over and over.  And this goes beyond humanity and into natural cycles as well.  I’ve never thought of that before, but my idea of the earth has been the same – of continually recycling, circulating and reusing over and over again.  Bodies become nutrients, which are used to grow bodies, for example.  Water falls as rain, goes into the earth, is taken up by a plant, transpirated back into the air to become clouds, and falls as rain.  This is touted as the perfect example for humanity, but it’s a closed system.  That which is on the earth has always been on the earth and will always be on the earth.  That leaves no room for consciousness, for emergence of matter from energy, or for infinite creativity.  Interesting…  I had no idea my beliefs on this were so pervasive.  I wrote last night and I’ve written before about changing my world, but really what I’ve always meant is to change my view of the world and to change what I believe is possible in the world.

I wrote last night about creating my own world, but living in cooperation with others who are creating their own worlds.  I’m sitting here in Starbucks with a group of people who are all doing their own thing, individually or in small groups.  It makes sense.  There are four plush chairs here, arranged opposite two tables, and when I came in there were two women sitting across from one table but I dumped my stuff in one of the other chairs.  A few minutes later a man came and sat across from me, but I didn’t see it as an invasion of privacy the way I did at the library a few weeks back.  We’re just four souls sharing the same space.  And I’m okay with that.  It’s a growing place for me.  Before I moved here I would have had serious doubts about living at SP, but I’ve grown more comfortable with the idea.  I’m still pleased knowing that the things I desire are working toward me as I’m working my way toward them.  This pleases me.  It makes me feel wanted.  And it’s good to feel wanted.  It’s a very good thing.

Something that just came to me to consider is that I’m actively involved with being a conscious creator, and while I may not like some or many of my creations at the moment, it’s a way of learning.  It’s not that I’m creating nothing.  I’m learning how to direct my focus toward those things I desire.

Another thought that came to mind was about Tut, and how often Tut talks about taking action and how it has bothered me.  Two things came from that.  One is that intention is action, but I didn’t see it before.  The second is that it’s important to remember that these things aren’t coming from ‘someone else’ but from me to me – perhaps for consideration, and perhaps for release.

I also had a thought that in looking at the diversity of life around me and trying to see others as All That Is, I automatically imagined tracing the branch back to the trunk, so to speak, the way one would trace lineage of child to parent to grandparent.  I’ve been imagining the connections of each person back through their inner being, all the way back to All That Is.  But All That Is isn’t just one central individual who has spawned everything else.  God is in the details and All That Is may be discovered in the very diversity.  And so the way to truly see All That Is isn’t to amalgamate and coalesce all of the disparate parts backward and to try to recreate the whole, but to recognize that All That Is is everything as it is right now.  And that’s important for me too because I’ve considered my own infinity by drawing the same connections back from ‘me’ through my own inner being, whole self, to All That Is.  But I don’t need to amalgamate all of the disparate parts of myself to form an infinite being, either.  One of the properties of infinity is that every division is infinite.  With a hologram, for example, cutting the hologram into pieces yields smaller versions of the whole, but with gradually lower and lower resolution with each division.  With infinity divisions aren’t smaller or lower resolution than the original.  Infinity isn’t divisible at all.  Now there’s a thought.  And so ‘I’ am also infinite.  It’s a growing in awareness, of knowledge that I’m embarked on.

One more thing to cover.  With physical action, more action yields more results.  For someone who does piece work for example, the harder they work the more results or finished products they have.  But with technology, say, it requires less work to achieve the same result.  A pulley vs. a block and tackle is a good example, or a computer vs. a calculator vs. a slide rule.  Where this is going is that with where I imagine my life heading, the amount of ‘work’ I need to do in a day is much less to receive a much greater result.  The byproduct of that is I have much more free time, to do whatever pleases me.  But with where I am now, I’m trying to balance ‘relax, let go and let Spirit carry me’ against the idea of trying to make things happen faster by doing more.  The thought that comes to mind is that I can walk around and around a cruise ship, but it’s not going to get to its destination any sooner.  Maybe that’s a lousy analogy because it implies greater circles of authority over which I have no influence.  It’s really getting used to the idea that much of the action with which I am involved right now is mental, intentional, and mental action can’t be measured in terms of effort.

Actually what came to me as I was writing that was that with physical effort more isn’t necessarily better either.  The secret is to develop a rhythm, a flow with the work.  A peak develops where more or less action is less efficient, and this is what it means to be in the flow.  Mental action can be the same.  What I need is to find my flow.

Something that came to me later was that Abraham has said that nothing I desire is upstream from me.  In that case, heading downstream makes sense.  I can relax and allow the current to carry me, or I can paddle, in which the current augments and adds to the work that I’m doing myself.  Here I’m not working against the current, but allowing the current to augment my efforts.  Hmmm…

Before I finish I want to add in a section from Seth’s book ‘The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. 1’ that someone added to NWV.  I think it’s a good one:

“Good evening.

(Good evening Seth)

Now: The beginning of Section 2. You already have the heading. Give us a moment . . . ‘

The CU’s, or units of consciousness are literally in every place and time at once. They possess the greatest adaptability, and a profound ‘inborn’ propensity for organization of all kinds. They act as individuals, and yet each carries within it a knowledge of all other kinds of activity that is happening in any other given unit or group of units.

Coming together, the units actually form the systems of reality in which they have their experience. In your system, for example, they are within the phenomenal world. They will always come under the guise of any particular pattern of reality, then. In your terms they can move forward or backward in time, but they also possess another kind of interior mobility within time as you know it.

As there are insides to apples, so think of the ordinary moment as an apple. In usual experience, you hold that apple in your hand, or eat it. Using this analogy, however, the apple itself (as the moment) would contain infinite variations of itself within itself. These CU’s therefore can operate even within time, as you understand it, in ways that are most difficult to explain. Time not only goes backward and forward, but inward and outward.

I am still using your idea of time here to some degree. (Pause.) Later in this book l hope to lead you beyond it entirely. But in the terms in which I am speaking, it is the inward and outward directions of time that give you a universe that seems to be fairly permanent, and yet is also being created.

This inward and outward thrust allows for several important conditions that are necessary for the establishment of ‘relatively’ separate, stable universe systems. Such a system may seem like a closed one from any viewpoint within itself. Yet this inward and outward thrusting condition effectively sets up the boundaries and uniqueness of each universal system, while allowing for a constant give-and-take of energy among them.

No energy is ever lost. It may seem to disappear from one system, but if so, it will emerge in another. The inward and outward thrust that is not perceived is largely responsible for what you think of as ordinary consecutive time. It is of the utmost and supreme importance, of course, that these CU’s are literally indestructible. They can take any form, organize themselves in any kind of time-behavior, and seem to form a reality that is completely dependent upon its apparent form and structure. Yet, disappearing through one of the physicists black holes, for example, though structure and form would seem to be annihilated and time drastically altered, there would be an emergence at the other end, where the whole ‘package of a universe’, having been closed in the black hole, would be reopened.

There is the constant surge into your universe of new energy through infinite minute sources. The sources are the CUs themselves.  In their own way, and using an analogy, now, in certain respects at least the CU’s operate as minute but extremely potent black holes and white holes, as they are presently understood by your physicists.

(Give us a moment . . .)

The CU’s, following that analogy, serve as source points or ‘‘holes’’ through which energy falls into your system, or is attracted to it-and in so doing, forms it. The experience of forward time and the appearance of physical matter in space and time, and all the phenomenal world, results. As CU’s leave your system, time is broken down. Its effects are no longer experienced as consecutive, and matter becomes more and more plastic until its mental elements become apparent. New CU’s enter and leave your system constantly, then. Within the system en masse however, through their great and small organizational structures, the CU’s are aware of everything happening-not only on the top of the moment (gesturing), but within it in all of its probabilities.

Now: This means that biologically the cell is aware of all of its probable variations, while in your time and structures it holds its unique position as a part, say, of any given organ in your body. (Pause.) In greater terms the cell is a huge physical universe, orbiting an invisible CU; and in your terms the CU will always be invisible-beyond the smallest phenomenon that you can perceive with any kind of instrument. To some extent, however, its activity can be indirectly apprehended through its effect upon the phenomenon that you can perceive.

(Pause at 10:26. l got Jane a beer while she sat waiting in trance.)

The EE units mentioned earlier represent the stage of emergence, the threshold point that practically activates the CU’s, in your terms. We will have more to say about these later.

It is vital that you understand this inward and outward thrust of ‘‘time,’’ however, and realize that from this flows the consecutive appearance of the moment. The thrusting gives dimensions to time that so far you have not even been to realize.  Again, you live on the surface of the moments, with no understanding of the unrecognized and unofficial realities that lie beneath. All of this, once more, is tied in with your accepted neurological recognition of certain messages over others, your mental prejudice that effectively blinds you to other quite valid biological communications that are indeed present all of the ‘time’.

(Intently) I am trying to tell you something about the greater reality of your species, yet to do so with any justice, I must divest you, if possible, of certain concepts about the beginning of time, or ‘‘man’s early history’

To start with, however, we will for a while lean on the old terminology, while hoping to gradually leave it behind. Give us a moment and rest your hand . . . (I had to smile. After about 30 seconds Jane as Seth, was already waiting to continue.)

The CU’s form all systems simultaneously. Having formed yours, and from their energy diversifying themselves into physical forms, they were aware of all of the probable variations from any given biological strain. There was never any straight line of development as, say, from reptiles to mammal, ape and man.  Instead there were great, still-continuing, infinitely rich parallel explosions of life forms and patterns in as many directions as possible. There were animal-men and men-animals, using your terms, that shared both time and space for many centuries. This is, as you all well know, a physical system in time. Here cells die and are replaced. Knowing their own indestructibility, the CU’s within them simply change form, retaining however the identity of all the cells that they have been. (Intently.) While the cell dies physically, its inviolate nature is not betrayed. It is simply no longer physical.

That kind of ‘‘death’’ is then, natural in one way or another within your system. I will be speaking here from many viewpoints, and later I will discuss in full your ideas of mortality.  Here, however, let me state that all life is cooperative. It also knows it exists beyond its form.

The experience of your species involves a certain kind of consciousness development, highly vital. (Pause.) This necessitated a certain kind of specialization, a certain long-term identification with form. Cellular structure maintains brilliant effectiveness in the body’s present reality, but knows itself free of it. Man’s particular kind of consciousness fiercely identified with the body. This was a necessity to focus energy toward physical manipulation. To some important extent the same applies to the animals. The cell might gladly ‘‘die,’’ but the specifically oriented man-and-animal consciousness would not so willingly let go.

The cell is individual, and struggles for rightful survival. Yet its time is limited, and the body’s survival is dependent upon the cell’s innate wisdom: The cell must die finally for the body to survive, and only by dying can the cell further its own development, and therefore insure its own greater survival. So the cell knows that to die is to live.

(10: 59. Jane delivered all of this material in a most forceful manner.)

Man’s consciousness and to some extent that of the animals, is more specifically identified with form, however.  In order to develop his own kind of awareness, man had to consciously ignore for awhile his own place within the structure of the earth.

His experience of time would seem to be the experience of his identity.  His consciousness would not seem to flow into his body before birth, and out of it after death. He would ‘‘forget’’ there was a time to die. He would forget that death meant new life. A natural message had to replace the old knowledge.

Give us a moment . . . In the body certain cells ‘‘kill’’ others, and in so doing the body’s living integrity is maintained.  The cells do each other that service (gestures). In the exterior world certain animals ‘‘kill’’ others. You had for centuries. Then, speaking in your limited terms, a situation in which men and animals where both hunters and prey. In those misty eras-from your standpoint-these activities were carried on with the deepest, most sacred comprehension. Again, the slain animal knew that it would ‘‘later’’ look out through its slayer’s eyes-attaining a newer, different kind of consciousness. The man, the slayer, understood the great sense of harmony that existed even in the slaying, and knew that in turn the physical material of his body would be used by the earth to replenish the vegetable and animal kingdoms.

Even when you lost sight-as you knew you would-of those deep [inner] connections, they would continue to operate until, in its own way, man’s consciousness could rediscover the knowledge and put it to use-deliberately and willfully, thereby bringing that consciousness to flower. In your terms this would represent a great leap, for the egotistically aware individual would fully comprehend unconscious knowledge and act on his own, out of choice. He would become a conscious co-creator. Obviously, this has not as yet occurred.

I told you (after 10:26 in this session) that you perceive only the surface of the moment; so you also perceive but one line of the species development. Yet even within your system, there are hints of the other probable realities that also coexist. The dolphins are a case in point. In your line of probability they are oddities, yet even now you recognize their great brain capacity, and to some dim extent glimpse the range of their own communication.

At one time on your earth, in the way you look at time there were many such species: water dwellers, with brain capacities as good as and better than your own. Your legends of mermaids, for example, though highly romanticized, do indeed hint of one such species development. There were several species present smaller than the dolphins, but generally the same structurally. Their intelligence was indisputable, and old myths of sea gods arose from such species. There is even now an extremely rich emotional life on the part of the dolphins, to which you are unduly blind and more than this, on their part a greater recognition of other species than you yourselves have.

(One-minute pause at 11:24. Then at a slow pace.)

The dolphins possess a strong sense of personal loyalty, and an intimate family pattern, along with a highly developed individual and group recognition and behavior. They cooperate with each other, in other words. They go out of their way to help other species, and yet they do not take pets (softly, staring at me). There were also, however, many varieties of water-dwelling mammals-some combining the human with the fish, though roughly along the lines of a combination chimpanzee-fish type. These were small creatures that moved with amazing rapidity, and could emerge onto the land for days at a time.

In other probabilities, water-dwelling mammals predominate. They farm the land as you farm the water, and are now learning how to operate upon the land for any amount of time, as you are only now learning how to manipulate below be water.

The physical universe serves then as a threshold for probabilities, and all possible species find their greatest fulfillment within that system, each of them neurologically tuned into their own reality and their own ‘‘time.’’ So the body itself, as it presently exists, is innately equipped with other neurological responses that to you would seem to be biologically invisible. Nevertheless, your consciousness and your beliefs are what direct this neurological recognition. At birth, and before structured learning processes begin, you are far freer in that regard.

You could (underlined twice) walk into ‘yesterday’ as well as tomorrow at that point of birth – if you could walk - and indeed your perception brings you events both in and out of time sequence. Responses to out-of-time events do not bring the infant recognition, approval, or action, however.

It immediately begins to learn to accept certain neurological pulses, which bring results, and not others, and so neurological patterns are early learned. This can be a frightening process, though it is accompanied by reassurances. The infant sees, out of context, both present and future without discrimination, and (intently) I Am speaking of images physically perceived.

Nightmares on the part of children often operate as biological and psychic releases, during which buried out-of-time perceptions emerge explosively – events perceived that cannot be reacted to effectively in the face of parental conditioning. The body, then, is indeed a far more wondrous living mechanism than you realize. It is the body’s own precognitions that allows the child to develop, to speak and walk and grow.

In the same manner, the species as you think of it is at one level aware of its own probabilities and ‘future’ lines of development. The child learning to walk may fall and hurt itself yet it does learn. In the same way the race makes errors-and yet response to its own greater knowledge it continues to seek out those areas of its own probable fulfillment.

(Louder smiling…) Either break or end of session!

(Well we’ll take the break and see what happens. Jane’s trance bad been profound. She was amazed to learn that it had lasted for over two hours actually, she had run through the whole session without a break. “It’s still a different kind of trance” she said, “and once you are in it, I think it’s better to stay there. But it’s exhilarating in ways that I can’t explain.)” ~ The “Unknown” Reality, Session 688.

Okay, a couple of things to round out my writings before I turn in.  One is that we watched ‘Little Man Tate’ this evening, about a young boy who is a true genius – in math, physics, art, music, writing, etc.  But as gifted as he is, he’s also seven years old, and wants to be like other little boys who run and play ball and have fun.  He gets caught up in the adult world, but it works out in the end.  I was going to say I’m not as talented as the boy in the movie, but I won’t.  I do understand some of what he was going through, however, and it also ties into some of the things I’ve written about with regard to being different, standing out, being valued for my intellect, etc.  And it explains to me in part why I was so willing to separate myself from the world of the academic in favour of the labourer, for example.  I was looking for acceptance.  There was one line at the end of the movie where he mentioned a fortune cookie he received that said, ‘Only when everyone around you is different will you belong.”  I like that.

And finally, I came across this Seth quote again today:

“The unconscious accepts those orders given to it by the conscious mind.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, session 659.

It’s one I’m well familiar with, and I’ve argued that one with my self on many an occasion.  But it came to me today to simply accept the truth of it.  The unconscious accepts those orders given to it by the conscious mind.  Okay, then the power to change is with me.  As simple as that.

Love,
Me.
_____

Welcome back.  As with my last writings post, I’m going to dip into my ‘Future Me‘ archives.  The following contains some great quotes from others that really made a difference for me…

Love, Mike. _____ November 24, 2008 Hello, [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  As with my last writings post, I’m going to dip into my ‘Future Me‘ archives.  The following contains some great quotes from others that really made a difference for me…

Love,
Mike.

_____
November 24, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, I stopped at Starbucks again this afternoon for a quick tea and a bagel on my way from the storage unit to head to some stores.  I brought my bike over to the storage unit today – after cleaning off the construction dust from the new patio door, and paid the rent for another month while I was there.

I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being.  This is my relationship with my world, even though I’ve done my best to deny it.  I hate to use words like special or elite because I don’t think they apply, and besides, I’m no different than anyone else.  I may happen to be more aware of my potential than some, but we’re working toward different goals.  The Universe is big enough for all of us.  It’s funny, as I open more into love and release judgement, my connections to things like my desires are shifting.  It’s not that I’ve given up on them; rather it’s that I’ve become more sure of them and in becoming stronger within myself I’m becoming less possessive, less guarded about them.

This leads me into something else.  I’ve been thinking about people I’ve had in my life who I never hear from but whom I send things to by e-mail and it seems sometimes that I’m the only one holding these relationships together.  Going to the idea that people can only be with me if they want to be, maybe it’s time to let go of those people.  If my friendship is important enough to them, they’ll find me.  And if it isn’t, no great loss.  I’m not cutting them off, just letting go.

Okay, as I was walking back home I had two thoughts.  One was that we watched ‘Tin Cup’ last night, with Kevin Costner and Rene Russo.  Not a great movie but funny in places, but there was a defining moment in the movie near the end where he was golfing at the US Open and decided to use a 3-wood to hit the ball over the water trap.  The first three days of the tournament he tried it and the ball hit the water and he went around.  On the fourth day he did the same thing, except he kept taking another shot and another shot and another shot, and on the very last shot he had, he whacked the ball over enough that it rolled down into the cup.  He lost the tournament, but he made his shot.  And the crowd went wild!  And I feel exactly like that.  Everyone else in the tournament took the short shot and went around, but he was determined.  I KNOW there’s a different path for me.  I don’t really care if anyone else notices or not, but I’m doing this for me.  It’s my path.  And I’m excited by it!

The other thing that came to me as I was walking back through the park was I was thinking that by doing away with judgments and mental entanglements, life gets easy.  So why make it complicated?  And the answer was there right away, although I’ve never thought of it before from that perspective.  So, what was the answer?  Intellect.  When I was a kid, the one thing I was praised for was my intellect.  I was smart, and I was good at it.  As Seth said, we learn to think by thinking, and so being a good thinker has always been something I’ve been praised for. However, I’ve gone maybe a little too far with that, making my life more complicated than it needs to be just to satisfy my own conscious mind.  Hmmm…  It’s an intriguing idea, actually, because by relaxing into it, letting go and allowing Spirit to carry me, I release myself from those mental entanglements and judgments and my life becomes simpler… AND that leaves me free to think about other things instead, like what lies beyond this reality, what the nature of consciousness really is, and many other questions.  I don’t have to surrender my intellect; rather, I can put it to much better use than I have been.

Love,
Me.
_____
November 25, 2008
Hello, Michael:

A little Seth to kick things off:

“Your spirit joined itself with flesh, and in flesh, to experience a world of incredible richness, to help create a dimension of reality of colors and of form. Your spirit was born in flesh to enrich a marvelous area of sense awareness, to feel energy made into corporeal form. You are here to use, enjoy, and express yourself through the body. You are here to aid in the great expansion of consciousness. You are not here to cry about the miseries of the human condition, but to change them when you find them not to your liking through the joy, strength and vitality that is within you; to create the spirit as faithfully and beautifully as you can in flesh.” ~ The Nature of Personal Reality, Session 615.

Okay, I’d like to get to bed a little earlier tonight (before 2:00 maybe!) but I have a few things to include here.

First is something I wrote a while back, which I stumbled upon recently: “How many times have I told myself this is who I will be, or this is who I would be if I was allowed or had the money or… rather than, this is who I AM?”  Something good to remember.

Second, I wrote a one-word note to myself this morning: ‘dependence’.  Something I wrote about yesterday was about refusing to accept things from others I couldn’t get for myself.  I’ve been thinking about that from several different perspectives, and the best I can say is that I just have to love the person I used to be, the one who was so closed up he couldn’t even accept the simplest of gifts, not even from my own Self.  I’m glad I’m not that person anymore, though.

The next note I have is something else that came to me today and has me really excited.  It’s one of those things I’ve ‘known’, but sank in better today.  Magic is spontaneous, takes no time and requires no precedent.  Magic isn’t something I have to wait for.  That’s a very powerful statement!  It’s also a very good reminder.  I remember back, not so long ago, when I used to imagine my desires and I planned out every moment, every possibility and every contingency.  I also figured what would be required in terms of circumstances, believability, likelihood, etc.  It was a lot of work, and completely unnecessary, but it was who I was at the time.  I’m going to write it again.  Magic is spontaneous, takes no time and requires no precedent.  Magic isn’t something I have to wait for.  I like it!

Tied in with that was another thought: Source is doing its part.  My part is to allow it to happen.  Actually, I had a little snippet of an imaginary conversation pop into my head, between me, living a magical life, and someone who doesn’t understand this stuff yet.  “And what do you do?” she asked.  “I try to remember how blessed I am.” I replied.  I was thinking today that in my opinion I’ve already traveled down the road to self-awareness MUCH farther than I once thought possible, but coupled with that was the realization that I’ve really not even begun.  It’s like ‘Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan’, where the Federation people invested three months blasting a small antechamber out of the rock, and then their Genesis device created an entirely new subterranean world in three hours.  I’ve invested a lot of years digging my own small antechamber, and I feel like I’m poised on the edge of detonating my own Genesis device so to speak.  I’ve traveled farther along this road than I once thought possible, dreaming only of a potential that was beyond what I could imagine at the time.  I’m still there, believing that my potential is more than I know it to be in this moment, but I feel more and more like I’m coming up through a funnel and I’m standing on the edge of where it expands out in all directions.  The Seth quote above reminded me of another quote where Seth said that there are no accidents because if one allows for the possibility of even the slightest, most insignificant accidental occurrence, then one must also concede the idea that the entire universe is sheer randomness.  There’s a section near the beginning of the CC writings that says:

“For without absolute freedom none of you could possibly change any of your circumstances. And the extent to which you learn discernment and choice to replace limitation and restriction, and the extent to which you understand the power of the self in face of all experience, there is no circumstance you cannot overcome. The foundation of your being is built on this model. And everything, every evidence to the contrary is in its simplest form, an opportunity to choose a new perspective.

The further you progress down this road, the more sustained joy you will experience, because sustained joy is the natural response to choices made out of freedom. So. You experience greater and greater periods of simple contentment. Less and less of your time is spent in the old patterns of pointless mental entanglement. This is because you have satisfactorily proven to yourselves that at the very best mental entanglement is a waste of time, and at the worst, it represents creative power ill used with unpleasant and sometimes dire results.”

If I decide that there is any limitation to my freedom, to the choices I can make or the power that is available to me, then I have to concede the idea that I have no power, no choices and no freedom whatsoever.  And everything I know tells me that is false.  Therefore I have absolute freedom to change any and every circumstance of my life.  And I still share this planet with those who are making different choices, and that’s okay.  They need not open themselves up to the infinite beings that they are, but I certainly need not close myself off from what I know myself to be.  I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being.  I imagine my life as I see it, and it is built out of my imaginings.  I can relax, let go, and let Spirit carry me.

I’m going to close this out with a quote from Elias that I found on NWV today.  This jumped out at me; especially the last couple of paragraphs.

“ELIAS: I will express to you one encouragement that may not seem to be an encouragement presently, but in actuality, it is a physical example that your planet, that your world, is actually shifting and that you can visibly see.  The turmoil that you perceive in your world presently in actuality is not what it seems.  It may be frightening to many individuals, that it appears that your foundations are somewhat crumbling, but in actuality, this is a sign of you ARE shifting.  Many changes will occur in this shift, and they have begun.  What you view to be bad or devastating economically is actually the birth pangs of a new foundation and a new order, for your old systems do not fit any longer in your new reality.  This change is not occurring immediately, but it has begun.”

Later…

“ELIAS: Yes.

FEMALE: Elias, could we return to the financial scene?  The plain old country, the values and our pocketbook and our financial standing?  I know you’ve referred to the year 2075 everything will be…

ELIAS: Approximately.

FEMALE: But in the interim and presently, is there no guidance system?  Are there some steps we can take to reassure ourselves?

ELIAS: Stop worrying!  (Laughter)

RODNEY: When I was a little boy, my mom would give me a nickel at the end of every week.  That was my allowance.  That was the kind of allowance I was (inaudible).

ELIAS: And what will you do with your nickel when it no longer incorporates any value and no one is receiving it?

RODNEY: That would be terrible!

ELIAS: And why would it be terrible?  Would it not offer you so much more freedom if you were not ruled by money?

RODNEY: Elias, I’m just trying to be funny, and you’re being so…

LYNDA: Damned serious!  (Laughter with Elias)  (Hubbub ensues again, taking comments or questions with it)

RODNEY: (Inaudible)  …I almost can’t imagine.

ELIAS: I am quite aware, and this is what we are discussing, that you cannot imagine it, that you do not incorporate a concept, that this is not a direction that you can conceivably plan, that it is occurring but you cannot individually plan it.  Therefore, it is a matter of allowing and flowing with rather than flowing against, and one of the flowing-withs rather than against is not to concern yourself and worry in relation to lack.

RODNEY: I’ve been practicing that all my life.

ELIAS: And it is a matter of continuing, but in a different manner now.  For now it appears that there is a threat, but there actually is not.  You perceive there is a threat, for it is a change; but it actually is not a threat.  It is a movement into precisely what you want.  You are generating precisely what you want, and you are terrified.  (Laughter)”

Saturday, October 25, 2008
Session #2658 (Group/Brattleboro, Vermont)
“Associations”
“Memory and the Body Consciousness”
“The Key is Allowance and Comfort”

This is the part that jumped out at me (emphasis mine):

“ELIAS: I am quite aware, and this is what we are discussing, that you cannot imagine it, that you do not incorporate a concept, that this is not a direction that you can conceivably plan, that it is occurring but you cannot individually plan it.  Therefore, it is a matter of allowing and flowing with rather than flowing against, and one of the flowing-withs rather than against is not to concern yourself and worry in relation to lack.

ELIAS: And it is a matter of continuing, but in a different manner now.  For now it appears that there is a threat, but there actually is not.  You perceive there is a threat, for it is a change; but it actually is not a threat.  It is a movement into precisely what you want.  You are generating precisely what you want, and you are terrified.”

Love,
Me.

P.S.  A thought from Ernest Holmes (more or less) – God knows exactly what I want, and is providing it for me, right now.  The answers to all of my questions are already known.  Still, asking the questions expands what I am.

P.S. II, the sequel.  Just before closing out the computer I opened the CC writings and was guided to this page:

“Getting the Hang of It

Now your natural inclination is to move with ease and grace, for now rather than struggling to find ease and grace amidst the obstacles, you move easily out of the obstacles and back into ease and grace. You will see the universe around you provide what you need, take care of the moment, even when you “forget.” (laugh) And we ask you a question. Have you noticed how the space, which was only recently filled with a mild agitation and boredom, has suddenly expanded to allow you to be in your creative ease? Do you see how your natural spontaneous order emerges effortlessly? This is your gift. The gift you have given yourselves. Trust it. And follow where it leads. For now you are in a space of knowing which is larger than any you have encountered so far. We encourage you to play along with it. To experiment. And try it out. We are quite certain that you would not trade this new understanding for a hundred million days of the old way. Your exploration is just beginning. Remind yourself of this often. And seek, expand, play with each moment.”

_____
November 26, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, today is our 73^rd Monthaversary of being married!!  Amazing stuff.

Okay, I walked over to Jim’s today and did some writing, but first I want to add in two clips from other sites.  The first is from Rhonda Byrne:

“A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne
Creator of The Secret

The greatest thief of human happiness and abundance is ungratefulness. Any lack in our lives – whether in money, health, or relationships – is simply the evidence of a lack of gratitude. If you focus on lack you are not being grateful, and that will bring more lack into your life. Yet the simple state of radiating gratitude summons everything to you.

No matter who you are or where you are, you can change your life with gratitude, but you must feel it with your whole heart and radiate it from every cell. Gratitude is not a mental exercise, and in fact, if you simply use your mind for gratitude it will have little or no power. True gratitude comes from your heart! You must think gratitude through your heart, speak gratitude through your heart, and feel it intensely in your heart.

Then practice gratitude relentlessly. As you practice gratitude you will attract more thoughts and feelings of gratitude. In a short time your entire being will be saturated with it, and you will experience a happiness that is beyond what you can imagine. This is what is ahead for you when you choose gratitude as your way of life. And if you can really live in this highest state of gratitude, you will never have to ask for anything. Everything you want will be given to you before you even ask, because gratitude is the magnetic substance that opens every single door in the Universe.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving in the United States. To celebrate Thanksgiving, I want to share an excerpt with you from The Secret Daily Teachings, which is being released in the US, Canada, the UK, and Australia on December 9th. This excerpt presents an easy way to start using gratitude and integrate it into your life by making every Thursday “Thank You Thursday.” As you “Thank your way through every Thursday” you will open the most powerful receiving channel within you.

From The Secret Daily Teachings – Thank You Thursday

• “Today is Thank You Thursday. Today and every Thursday is your day to say and feel “Thank you” in as many ways as you can.
• Write a list of all the people and events you want to give thanks for.
• Return thanks today to those who have done things for you.
• As you walk say “Thank you” in your mind with each step you take.
• As you drive, make each time you stop your cue to say “Thank you.”
• At various times in the day, think and feel “Thank you” inside you seven times in a row.
• Look for every opportunity to say “Thank you” to other people, and say it with so much meaning that the person looks right at you.
• Thank your way through every Thursday, and make “Thank you” your predominant thought, feeling, and words of the day.

“Thank you” – two words, inconceivable potential power, and all they need is you to put the power into them by expressing them.”

The second is the latest installment from Samantha Standish on her blog:

“Economic Whoas!

When I was working as a lawyer, my boss once said to me, “You are the most curious person I’ve ever known.” Ignoring the double entendre for a moment, he was referring to the fact that I will research endlessly to get an answer. I won’t give up until I’ve found what I’m looking for. It doesn’t have to be the “right” answer. It just has to give me enough information to satisfy me for the moment.

I’ve been like this my whole life. I’ve always asked a lot of questions, tormenting my parents. Normally, I’d receive a quick response from my mom. She either knew the answer or she didn’t. My dad would play for a little bit. He’d string me along to see how my mind was working.

One day, I was riding with him in his truck. We were coming back from a job site (he worked in construction). The thing about being in a vehicle is that you’ve got a trapped audience so to speak, and you can sometimes get superior information out of people. So, I asked my dad why the sky was blue. He began explaining about light reflecting off the ocean and blah, blah, blah. That wasn’t good enough for me because it didn’t answer the substance of my question. I didn’t want to know what made it blue. I wanted to know why it was blue.

I’m interested in foundations, you see, and it seemed to me that there had to be some kind of significance to the color itself no matter how the color was generated. Telling me how the sky came to be blue didn’t answer why it was that color as opposed to red or yellow or brown. I said, “But why is it blue?” My dad said, “To make little girls like you ask questions.” That was the wall. That’s what he said when he was out of answers. I knew I wasn’t going to get anything coherent out of him after that.

I’ve hit a lot of walls in my life. I learned early on that most teachers don’t have answers that are not in a book. And that it’s taboo to question the source of the information itself. I learned that most teachers aren’t thinkers; they’re memorizers. This has always put me in somewhat of a conundrum because I’ve never been interested in facts. That’s what most books contain. And I couldn’t care less about facts. I’m interested in structures. I’m interested in the tools that create facts. Structures do just that. Facts change as structures change. Just watch life, and you’ll see for yourself. Facts are mobile, flowing things born out of the mobile, flowing things called structures. Most schools do not teach this.

Law school was different. A really good law school will disassemble the way you think by teaching you to question your assumptions. Many students are shocked to learn that much of law school consists, not of the professor telling you the answer, but of the professor asking you to invent the answer. It’s called the Socratic method. Students are even more shocked to find that there’s more than one “right” answer to any given question.

One professor, in particular, Melvin Zarr, is famous in legal circles in the Northeast for the refrain, “Law is a lawyer driven process.” His point is that the reason that students aren’t taught fixed rules of law in law school is that the law changes. In law school, you’re not taught to memorize (although you do a monumental amount of that too). You’re taught to think. And no matter what the law, the lawyer that knows how to think will have a significant advantage over the lawyer that doesn’t understand the mobility of the law, that doesn’t understand the centrality of the individual, that doesn’t understand the fundamental importance that the lawyer herself plays in the process.

This used to drive the engineers and doctors who were in law school crazy. They’d been taught fixed principles and facts in their previous professions and were always looking for the same in law. It just didn’t work that way in the legal field. Sometimes students would get upset because it looked like you could make an argument for anything, and wasn’t that unjust? This was especially frustrating to some when it came to morality. The more rigid the student’s views of right and wrong, the worse they did in classes like constitutional law, because the point of law school, once again, wasn’t to give the “right” answer. It was to exert the flexibility of your mind, and see a situation from as many angles as possible.

I wish our school system taught that same mental dexterity because it’s the font of creativity. It’s one of the reasons we decided to homeschool our son. We wanted to teach him to think. We wanted to teach him how to develop as many solutions as possible to any given dilemma. We wanted him to understand that life is open and flexible. It worked. He’s got a better grip on life than I do.

I wish this kind of flexibility for the world. People are amazingly sheep-like in their thinking, taking what they hear on the news and repeating it endlessly. I stopped reading newspapers in 1987, and it is a rare thing when I see a newscast on television or any other box. This is because I hear/see this in news: PLEASE PATTERN YOUR PERCEPTION AS FOLLOWS. Then they tell you how you’re supposed to view a given situation and, ultimately, your reality. No thank-you. I’d rather draw my own conclusions.

This is especially so when it comes to the “economic crisis” as of late. I’ll tell you, to me, it’s not an economic crisis at all. When I first read in the Elias material that the monetary system was going to be disassembled and that there would eventually be no form of monetary exchange, I used to mess around with the concept for hours at a time. There were the doom and gloomers who thought in terms of disaster. That is, there were some people who thought that there would be some sort of natural disaster or otherwise that would level the present structures, and then we’d start from ground zero. I thought that was pretty unimaginative. Instead, I liked to think about how you could peacefully disassemble the present structures and build new ones.

This was extremely challenging because I’d never thought about how you structure a society without money or without, at the very least, a barter system. You’re just not taught to think that way. What do you do if there are no banks, no currency, no systems for tabulating the exchange of products? What does culture look like? What do people do with their days? How do roads get built? How do people provide themselves with everyday needs and wants? And I’ll tell you, some of what we’re seeing today were answers that I came up with as I thought about these things.

By and large, we’re seeing a lot of peaceful changes in structures. This should be an exciting thing, but some people don’t see it that way. The media needs to sell itself, and it does a grand job if it has some sort of crisis to push. The crisis, however, is not a crisis. It’s an opportunity for the construction of new systems, and I think a lot of people are missing the boat on that.

The Dog Shit Analogy

I was taking a walk yesterday, and there’s a kiosk in front of one of the churches that I pass regularly. Yesterday, it read: “How to live and love in a perverse world.” This particular church tries to stay uplifting in its postings, but apparently the minister had been watching too much television because it’s absurd to say that it’s a perverse world if you’re paying attention to your everyday experience in this neck of the woods. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, Pacific Grove is one of the most beautiful, charming places I’ve ever been. It’s eccentric, friendly, and situated on the stunning Monterey Bay. There’s nothing perverse about it. In fact, you have to go out of your way to look for perverse to find it here.

But I’ve noticed that many, many people do not think for themselves. They don’t observe their surroundings, and they don’t grab their personal power and use it. They repeat what other people in “authority” positions say even when those people state things that are in direct contradiction to common logic.

I’ve often thought that this is akin to walking out of your house on a lovely spring day. The sky is a clear blue with a few puffy clouds. The bees are humming along from flower to flower. The birds are chattering. Everything is green, verdant, lush, and in bloom. But then you see that a dog has done his business on the sidewalk, and you become obsessed.

A neighbor is whistling in her yard, and you say to her, “Did you see this?”

The neighbor makes a face and says, “Yeah.” Then she says, “My asparagus has come in. Would you like some?”

You look at your neighbor blankly. Can she really be talking about asparagus at a time like this? You say, “But did you see this?” pointing to the dog doo.

She repeats that she had.

You say, “Well, we’ve got to do something about it!”

“I suppose we’ll have to clean it up, or it will get washed off in the next rain storm.”

You persist. “Don’t you understand? We’ve got to do something proactive about this. We have to form a committee and make sure all of the dogs are kept in their yards and that people take responsibility for their pets and that there is some sort of consequence for this type of thing.”

Your neighbor says, “I suppose, but you can’t legislate against a dog. Sometimes they get out. That’s life.”

Now you’re pissed. You’re thinking, “It’s people like her that allow this thing to happen. If it weren’t for that kind of attitude, this would never happen. She’s the problem.”

But, of course, she isn’t the problem. You just can’t get your attention off the shit. Your neighbor is right. You can’t prevent all the bad things from happening in life because you can’t know what’s going on with every person on the planet. Furthermore, you’re focused on one tiny, insignificant point in reality and calling it the important part of life simply because it’s unpleasant. You are being irrational and unrealistic. The world is good. You just have to turn away from the shit for a moment and look around.

What you see is determined by what you’re looking for. Many people look for crap because they believe smart people look for crap. This applies to the present economic situation. There’s nothing wrong with the economy. It’s changing. Change is not a bad thing. It’s a different thing. If you think that all is going to hell in a hand basket then you watch too much television or read too much crap written by people who do not think. People who talk limitation forget the most fundamental characteristic of humans: people hate boredom. There will always be people creating new things, doing new things, because individuals deplore boredom. An economy is nothing more than the activities of people. It will never stand still because people do NOT stand still.

Where we’re going as a world economy is obvious if you begin to use your mind in imaginative ways, and it’s not to hell in a hand basket. But people are scared of that word: imaginative. If you imagine something, it requires that you take your mind off the shit momentarily, and this scares most people. It’s as if the shit will grow if they’re not thinking about it. I say once again, this is irrational. When you take your mind off the shit, you see the world for what it is: a magnificent place.

I think if you read channeled material, you have an advantage simply because you’re mentally flexible enough to look at information that’s from “unconventional” sources. It should, though it’s no guarantee, enable you to look away from the crap long enough to see the beauty of the world. That beauty is an invitation.

We all come here, to physical life, for the creativity of generating new ideas. So, I challenge everyone alive to invent different ways of doing life, different ways of structuring interactions, and different ways of thinking. That’s the point. It’s not knowing the future. It’s inventing it. We have this incredible opportunity to invent everything. Knowing this, you can also know the very strong potentials for the future. This will give you a level of security you will never get from watching popular media.

You Want to Know The Future? Here’s How:

The future is participatory. You help determine it by the ideas that you ponder. You can get a pretty clear idea of where we’re going by engaging the following activities, which are anything but static:

• Imagine how you’d like to see the world function if there were no limits.
• Study the dream state and how it works. This will give you some clues about the changes that are coming.
• Watch your imagination and how it’s constructed. The imagination is intimately related to everyday life.
• Keep your eye on the science wave that will be moving our way. What, in terms of fundamentals, would radically change the way the average person thinks about how life is arranged? Think in terms of principles and inventions. There are going to be changes. How might these changes affect the way we take care of daily needs and wants?
• Keep track of anomalies and coincidences.

If you engage these activities, you’ll see trends. I guarantee it. You will see strands that will make future probabilities obvious. It’s not that the future is set. It never is. We came here to play, and play requires a malleable mind that’s willing to look at the world from many different perspectives, a mind that’s willing to try, to experiment, to invent, a mind that has the guts to turn off the television, stop hitting the same websites, and to quit reading the trash promulgated by individuals who haven’t had an original idea since they were children. It requires looking at yourself and your own power.

Start watching the toddlers, and you’ll get an idea where we’re headed. These are strong individuals with clear vision. And they know how to play. They are not going to settle for some serious drone, telling them what to do and how it is. They aren’t going to be convinced by televisions and websites and magazines and books and newspapers and other individuals who call themselves authorities. You shouldn’t either. These young ones are already referencing themselves. They’re examples of what’s coming.”

There’s a lot of good stuff in there, but what jumped out the most for me was the idea that we don’t have to look into the future to see what it contains.  We invent the future!  I like it!

Okay, on with the show…

What I’m thinking about today is along the lines of that Seth quote that says I am a God expressing my energy out into this reality.  And it’s not that I’m a God among mortals, because everyone else is a God too, although most refuse to acknowledge it.  And it got me thinking about some things.  For instance, with my intelligence and skills alone I should be moving with a completely different crowd – intellectual people for example.  But I’ve shied away from groups like that because… because of my precious intellect.  Because I was afraid that my intelligence would be found wanting, and it was the only thing of value that I had to offer.  It’s been easier to hang out with simple people because they’re no threat.  And thinking about that today got me thinking about other people like me – there must be some people who are exploring their infinity – but I was thinking about moving into that world and thinking I’d have to face those challenges.  But, and it’s a big BUT, the people I’m interested in joining up with aren’t necessarily those with the biggest brains, the biggest intellects or the biggest egos, but the biggest souls.  And in that group there is no cutthroat competition.  Even more important, there is no judgment.  In its stead there is mutual interest, cooperation and support.  There is a sharing of ideas and insights.  See, I hate competition because if I win there’s no big payoff, but if I lose there’s been a sense that I haven’t measured up; I haven’t been good enough.  But I’m doing away with self-judgment, so I never have to think about being ‘good enough’ again.

As I was walking over to Jim’s today I was thinking that this picture of the world isn’t right..  But I’ve been going on the basis that I’ve had no power to change this or that doing so would take great physical effort.  I’ve had my answer to that for a long time, however.  I am so powerful I’ve easily created a world where it seems I have no power.  It’s been so easy to do that.  And I am so powerful that I can just as easily express my power in this world.  I also told myself on the way over to Jim’s that I may never be ‘perfect’ in my thinking, in my imagining, and I can accept that.  My world doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’ either, but I’ve been holding my physical reality changes back until I could imagine it better, more fully, more perfectly.  I’ve got the bones down, the things I desire, but I’ve been holding them at arm’s length – back and back and back, and I feel like it’s getting to the point where I may be testing the limits of my power in holding it back any longer.  After all, I’ve been asking for it and denying its presence at the same time, for a very long time.  Brings a new perspective to letting go, because I’m going to need a surfboard to ride this wave.

So that begs the question, what if my role in this life is to be an infinite being, and, by example, show others that they are infinite beings too?  Something that came to me this evening is that there are always a million reasons on why I could deny myself something, but there’s only one reason to allow it.  Coupled with that was another thought, which was that if I focus on what I want and not on what I don’t want but perceive to be around me, even in transition, people could say that I’m living in denial.  However, if I’m holding myself back from those things I want and can have, if I’m blocking myself from being open to receiving All of the love and joy and wealth and understanding that is possible for me to receive, then which one of us is living in denial?  This makes sense to me.  It makes sense to me that I would find my own path, my own Way of Being, and a route through life that is uniquely my own.  I celebrate that.

Here’s an Abraham quote:

“You have sole ownership of your vision. And the Universe will give you what you want within your vision. What happens with most people is that they muddy their vision with “reality”. Their vision becomes full of not only what they want but what everybody else thinks about what they want, too. Your work is to clarify and purify your vision so that the vibration that you are offering can then be answered.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

One more thing to add before I turn in for the night, and that is that I received an other e-mail today from Abercrombie and Kent offering private world trips, and I had a momentary thought that with all of the things going wrong in the world, to embark on private jet travel, etc. can be seen as extremely selfish and not very environmentally friendly. But I caught myself at that very quickly, because as Samantha wrote in her blog, those kinds of statements are based on the idea that the world is in trouble.  I can also choose to live in a world where there are no environmental problems and where people live in conscious cooperation with the earth.  This doesn’t necessarily limit the amount of material goods; actually it can be quite the contrary if people are living in harmony with the earth and living as enlightened beings because goods can be created without causing degradation in the first place. I gotta say, this excites me no end!!  I’m not trying to decipher the future… I’m inventing the future!

Love,
Me.

“You were born into a state of grace. Therefore, it is impossible for you to leave it. You will die in a state of grace whether or not special words are spoken for you, or water or oil is poured upon your head. You share this blessing with the animals and all other living things. You cannot ‘fall out of’ grace, nor can it be taken from you.” ~ Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality, session 636.

_____
November 27, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, not much to write about today.  I did have one thought this morning, which was that up to now I’ve considered that there are those who are sensitive to the world’s issues and those who are ignorant of them for any number of reasons.  However, there’s a third group – those who simply choose differently.  I’m in that third group.  The reason I mention this is that if I think of my life as I desire it to be, it includes more physical ‘things’ than I have right now – not that I plan to buy stuff just for the sake of having stuff, but anyway.  And this idea of traveling and having vehicles, seemed to me for a long time to be in direct contravention to my beliefs as an environmentalist, and one who’s working to help the earth heal, etc.  However, I remember going to an elder’s house and being given a warm welcome and platters of food cooked by his wife and daughters, and it was such a wonderful gift to receive. And so I’m looking at my life now not as a contravention to living lightly on the earth, but rather as receiving and utilizing the gifts that the Earth herself wants to bestow upon me.  My intention is to live lightly on the earth, and I can do that in many more ways by living the life of my dreams than I can without them.  I can accept that now, and this is a good thing!

Okay, that’s it for tonight.  Relax, let go, and let Spirit carry me!

Love,
Me.

“Creativity is always discontent – and always about new surprises. Therefore, the entity itself is never completed. You are learning to be conscious co-creators. But you do not always know what the creation, in your terms, will be.” ~ Seth, ESP Class, March 17, 1970.

_____

Dum de dum dum…

Okay, welcome back!

As it happens, my writings for the past couple of months have been rather disjointed, and until I have time to rope them into line I’m not going to share [...]]]>

Hi There:

Please click this link first.  I’ll wait.

Dum de dum dum…

Okay, welcome back!

As it happens, my writings for the past couple of months have been rather disjointed, and until I have time to rope them into line I’m not going to share them with anybody.  However, in one of my first blog posts I mentioned a site called ‘Future Me‘, that I appreciate greatly and use quite regularly.  I’ve recently received some ‘Future Me’ posts from last year, so I thought maybe I’d start with those.  Sometimes I look back on what I wrote a year ago and realize how far I’ve come on certain topics, and other times I find I’m still looking at the same things, albeit perhaps from a different perspective.

Without further ado, here are some of my writings from last year…

Love,
Mike.

_____
November 12, 2008
Hello, Michael:

I did some writing this morning, so let me go and find my notebook, and I’ll be back!

Actually I have a few notes from the other day too, so I’ll start with those:

The first is a memory from back when Marcia and I were living in Hillsburgh. I didn’t have a car because Marcia was working in Guelph, but we needed sunflower seeds. It was wintertime so I bundled up, grabbed the toboggan and headed off to the feed store. Should have waxed it first, because carrying 50 lb. of seeds on it going back proved to be a bit of a challenge, especially the uphill parts. At one point though, I remember that it felt like these little chickadees had landed on my arms and were flapping their little wings so hard, helping me pull that bag of seeds up the hill. It reminded me of what I wrote – I am awake and alive in a world of divine intelligence. I live in a world where every cell in my body, every CU around me is designed to achieve its own value fulfillment, and mine (and everything else’s) in the process. When I allow myself to really think about that, it’s quite amazing!

The second note is that on November 9 I woke up with the name ‘Ethalolien’ on my mind. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that name – I’ve written about it before, but nobody I know has ever heard of it. It seems to me to be my essence name, so I’ll go with that for now.

Another thought from the 9^th was that as I read back through my notes I can see that there are some subjects I’ve written about several times. And the thought came to me that I keep asking the same questions until I am able to change the answers.

On November 10 I had a thought come to me that said that I’ve been going around and around, back and forth between the non-physical and the physical experiences of mine and thinking that in this world there is no rational way for me to create my world as I desire it. The answer, though, is now obvious. Change the world. Or at least change what I believe is possible in my world. So simple!!

Also a thought that the things I desire are not what my life is about. They’re the background upon which my life is built. Exciting stuff!

And finally, a thought that sleep is important to me, not only because my body needs rest (although that’s important enough in itself), but that sleep is important to me because of what I do in the dreamtime. Hmmm…

Okay, on to today’s writings.

The morst interesting thing from this morning is that I awoke with snatches of the ‘Wilson Phillips’ song “Hold On for One More Day” running through my mind. I’ve looked up the lyrics and what I had wasn’t actually in the order of the song, but lines from it. They were:

“I know there is pain but
Hold on for one more day
And break free from the chains
Things are going to change
Hold on for one more day.”

An interesting message from myself! It will be interesting to see what tomorrow brings, too!

I’m still wrapping my head around the new understandings that keep coming to me. Last night’s writings, based on Elias’ wisdom, just poured out of me. I really offered myself a new level of acceptance… and I like it!

I’m moving more and more into seeing myself in a place of power, even seeing my negative beliefs and limitations as choices that I’ve made. They may be bad choices in some cases, but by accepting that I made them and going forward from there I open more into my own power because it means I have the power to make new and better choices. Does that make the others ‘old and deficient’ as per Andy Rooney? I don’t think so; they were the best I could do at the time.

In the last couple of days I’ve been feeling a very strong connection to myself as I was in Peterborough – as if I am the ‘future self’ I connected to back then. One of the futures, anyway. I also feel as if I’m guiding some version of my ‘then’ self to allow different choices that are rippling back through time and changing my Now. I’ve ‘imagined’ this sort of activity before, but now I’m feeling it more.

Something else I’m opening up to more is that to a large extent I’m living the life of my dreams now. I don’t have all of the things I desire, so at first blush that seems like a wholly inaccurate statement but the ‘feel’ of my life now is largely the way I want it to be. I have a great degree of freedom to do pretty much as I please with my days. I’m writing, learning, dreaming, and expanding my sense of self… I’m being provided for, fed, housed, etc. Someone else is taking care of it for me. From that perspective my life is in many ways the way I want it, but because I’ve felt that there are expectations of me I can’t fulfill, I haven’t allowed myself to appreciate it. I’ve been feeling that if I allowed myself to relax and enjoy it then I would be resented for it because I’ve felt that others have been helping me out of a sense of obligation. And here again I see how clearly my beliefs have been expressed in my reality. The reason I’ve wanted to create the money for myself has been to remove that sense of obligation that I’ve believed others must be feeling. I’m still learning to accept gifts. Thinking of Elias’ description of ‘intermediate intention’ and creating subjectively also ties in with this with regard to having money because I’ve also seen that I wasn’t willing to allow that I could be given money with no strings attached. I would be okay for me to have it as long as I was putting the money as long as I put it toward some useful purpose, but not just to have or to hoard. Of course those beliefs also generated counter-beliefs which pushed against the idea of doing volunteer work, etc. out of a sense of obligation. By bringing all of these beliefs and ideas and judgements back directly to myself, combined with where I am within myself now means that I can address these things without heaping guilt on myself. Such a change from who I used to be. So I can create money, just to have it, to play with or to use as I decide in the moment, and the biggest lesson in all of this is to loosen and release my judgement of myself and unite my self under a joyful banner of self-acceptance. I can hear Thomas’ voice as I write this… “Forget the hose, release the bounds around yourself.”

The more I am willing to love myself fully and completely, the easier it becomes and the more avenues for love I discover. It’s like transforming a thread or a strand into a braided rope. Funny, as I was writing that sentence above I thought about my second desire as per the Tut quotes – to live my life fully and completely. Seems that to live my life fully and completely I begin or continue with loving myself fully and completely.

My love to me!

“Your eyes and your eyelashes, being individual, express the individuality of All-That-Is. No snowflakes are alike. No person is alike. Through the manifestation of individuality does All-That-Is express its being. To be yourself you are, in your terms, what God is. And in your way, you become a conscious creator. You are co-creators whether you know it or not. You are creators whether you know it or not. You are created and you create whether you know it or not. You can learn to be conscious co-creators. You form your reality. You can do this consciously. Even when you choose to think in terms of a nebulous, beneficial, divine oneness in which you hope to hide your being, and lose it.” ~  Seth, ESP Class, January 22, 1974.

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November 13, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Let’s see what I can find to start this with:

“There is nothing that you’re wanting to know that you do not have the capacity to understand fully. And there is nothing that you’re wanting to know that the Universe does not already know that you want to know, and has already begun the process of answering. And so, go forth in excited anticipation that the new ideas will continue to bubble forth, and that the Universal Forces will continue to come forth in loving, benevolent, eternal answering to that which you are about. There is great love here for you. We are complete.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Well, it’s Thursday and I’m at the downtown library.  Not exactly sure what to write about, but our ex-landlordis on my mind today because we have yet to receive our damage deposit cheque.  That got me thinking about choices, contingencies, what-ifs and subjective vs. objective creation and how it all ties together.  As I learn more about the power of choice and living with choices, taking responsibility for everything in my life, it’s a very different way of being from whom I used to be.  One thing that came to me today is that the objects in my life are merely representations of my beliefs.  In and of themselves they’re benign, a mirror showing me what I’ve been thinking about.  Taking that as true then I seriously need to realign my thinking!  Take ou landlord for example.  I’ve been working on the basis that he isn’t going to pay us the money he owes us without demanding it.  By thinking that way I create the results of that in my life, experience those results, and then use that experience as a basis for my actions.  That’s definitely not what I want, though.  What I want is to be able to simply imagine things I do want and have them pop up in my experience so that I get to live those things.  I do imagine them but for some reason I continue to manifest other things instead.  Fear?  Doubt?  Habit?  Belief?  All of the above?  Perhaps, so how do I change it?  I keep prodding myself in that direction.  At the same time I keep bringing up (for release – remember that!) old beliefs.  Today I remembered the expression from “Lightningbolt” that said that anything we have can be taken from us, but not our sense of self.  That can be true, but it requires living in a world where it’s possible for others to take things from me, and I can just as easily not live in that world.  Accent the positive.  I keep working toward that, but it still seems to take effort to do it, at least sometimes.

The easiest thing in the world for me to do is to imagine, and the best life for me, as I see it right now, is to simply imagine what I want and have it happen.  My old response would be that I’ve been doing that and it hasn’t been working, but as I write that I recognize that very statement as a way of restricting myself, and I’m not willing to do that.

So… I love me.  All of me loves all of me.  No divisions.  I accept myself, all of my best parts and all of my lumpy bits and everything in between.  I recognize my own infinity.  I also recognize that my conscious mind/ ego are focused primarily on my external reality, BUT I’m willing to consider that this reality can be quite different than it appears to be now.  I also acknowledge that changing my world so completely scares me, more than a little.

In Elias’ discussion on intermediate intentions he mentioned that while we talk of being different, we seek sameness.  I can see that within myself to a degree, and it’s not a weakness.  It’s just part of who I am.  I recognize that sometimes I occupy myself with tasks and activities that are not to my liking because I feel that these things are what I feel I’m supposed to do or need to do rather than what I want to do.  At the same time, these activities are ‘supposed to’ because the things I want to do don’t seem to be available to me yet.  Much of my life right now is existing temporarily while looking for a way to break through.  Still, I haven’t for a second lost sight of my dreams, and every chance I get I move toward those dreams.  At this time there doesn’t seem to be a lot of action I can take, but that’s okay.

Just had two thoughts come to me.  The second was that what I’m feeling – this feeling of being restless or uncomfortable is because I’m stretching myself out beyond what I once thought possible.  I’m feeling anxious, but underneath the surface of that feeling there’s a deep current of love and trust within myself.  I don’t have to tap into it or connect to it, just acknowledge it.

The other thought is that money is a symbol for emotion.  Money can be anger or hatred or power – so called ‘blood money’.  Receiving money in that way doesn’t appeal to me because those emotions don’t appeal to me.  I’d rather do without it.  But money can be happiness, joy, excitement, and love too.  These are emotions I can accept.  Am I afraid of being too happy?  That’s a good question.  What can happen?  Can someone take away my happiness?  No, not unless I choose to give it up.

A belief popped up that I can have moments of joy, happiness, love, but they’re only islands in a sea of the mundane… that’s not true, though.  Choices form my life.  I can have wealth or not, be free or not, be happy or not, love or not… these are all choices.  So to the belief that people will want to take my happiness away, drag me down, or bring me their problems to solve.  Choices.  All choices.

I am powerful whether or not I choose to express it or not.  I am love whether I choose to feel it or not.  Those are my choices.

Well, it’s 6:40 p.m. and I just missed the 6:35 bus so I’m at Starbucks having coffee.  I brought R.’s book back to him and he loaned me one called ‘The War of Art’, presumably to separate it from ‘The Art of War’.  This book deals primarily with creativity and resistance and things like that.  Should tie in with some of the stuff I’ve been writing about.

I’ve been giving some thought to what I wrote earlier about stretching, and it occurred to me that I’ve been telling myself that these ideas and concepts and Ways of Being don’t fit with the world I’ve told myself I live in.  And the answer to that is… EXACTLY! Now, which one am I willing to surrender?

It reminds me of when D. told me, “So, I’ve got a boyfriend.”  And I replied, “Well, I can leave if you want.”  “No, I don’t want you to leave…”  Except I’m D. here, my old world is the boyfriend, and the new ideas are ‘me’.  I don’t want them to leave, and I’m willing to grow into the relationship.  I like that thought.  I remember before calculators were invented, but I certainly don’t want to give up my computer!

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November 14, 2008
Hello, Michael:

I woke up this morning with Bryan Adam’s song, “Coming Home…” running through my head.  A part of it, anyway:

I’m coming home,
Oh I’m coming home.
I’m coming home,
Yeah I’m coming home.
Only seems like yesterday,
You and I were sayin’ goodbye,
Now I’m just a few miles away
Gonna see you tonight.

I like it!

Also, I watched a part of a video suggested by Lynne McTaggart, and in there he mentioned the movie ‘Swingtime’ with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.  There’s a song in there that goes, “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.” And he said that he realized, “I had this belief: Nothing would ever stop me. I could overcome any obstacle. However, I needed obstacles to prove that nothing would ever stop me. Why did I think that?” Along with that I got thinking about the Mike Holmes show, Holmes on Homes.  He does good work fixing up people’s mistakes, but often during the show he says that if it was done right, he wouldn’t have to be there. True enough, but I think it’s come to define him as well. In a way he needs the shoddy workmanship in order to be able to fix it, and so he continues to create it in his life. But it’s not who I need to be.  I can choose differently, and that means I can choose to live without any obstacles.  I like that.

“True religion is not repressive, as life itself is not. When Christ spoke he did so in the context of his times, using the symbolism and vocabulary that made sense to a particular people in a particular period of history, in your terms.

“He began with their beliefs, and using their references tried to lead them into freer realms of understanding.

“With every translation the Bible has changed its meaning, being interpreted in the language of the times. Christ spoke in terms of good and bad spirits because these represented the people’s beliefs. In their terms he showed them that ‘bad’ spirits could be vanquished; but these were, then, symbols accepted as realities by the people – sometimes for quite ‘normal’ diseases and human conditions.

“The very term, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ (Matthew 19:19, Mark 12:31), was an ironic statement, for in that society no man loved his neighbor, but distrusted him heartily. Much of Christ’s humor has been lost, therefore.

“In the Sermon on the Mount, the phrase (to the effect that) ‘…the meek shall inherit the earth’ (Matthew 5:5), has been grossly misinterpreted.

“Christ meant, ‘You form your own reality. Those who think thoughts of peace will find themselves safe from war and dissension. They will be untouched by it. They will escape, and indeed inherit the earth.’

“Thoughts of peace, particularly in the middle of chaos, take great energy. People who can ignore the physical evidence of wars and purposely think thoughts of peace will triumph – but in your terminology the word ‘meek’ has come to mean spineless, inadequate, lacking energy. In Christ’s time, the phrase about the meek inheriting the earth implied the energetic use of affirmation, of love and peace.” ~ Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality, session 674.

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November 15, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s Saturday afternoon and I’m at Starbucks for a bit before going over to vote in the municipal election.  I was at the library for a few hours; read an excellent book called ‘Sit, Ubu, Sit’.  At the very beginning of the book he’s sitting with a psychic and the very first thing she tells him is not to feel guilty about having all of the money that he has.  Spoke directly to me and brought up some other things as well.  Basically, though the book is a love story, and a very good one.

Anyway, I’ve been reading Elias’ descriptions of the different orientations and the other night I recognized something important.  Elias has three different orientations and originally I associated myself with intermediate and so was reading more about them.  According to Elias those of intermediate orientation are about 15% of the population, with soft being about 35% and common being about 50%.  Those aren’t hard values, just approximations.  Intermediates make up about 1/6^th of the population.  Anyway, as I was reading the excerpts from various sections I found myself liking the idea of fitting in, even with a small minority.  Makes sense to me that I’d be in the smallest group.  However, as I was reading more about intermediates I also noticed aspects that didn’t apply to me.  I felt like I was on my own again, and I’d enjoyed being a part of a group.  I’ve always eschewed being a group person – even to the point of saying things like, “I’m not like this because I’m an Aries; I’m me.”  Maybe I chose to be an Aries because I’m me.  Hmmm…  Anyway, as I was reading the Elias stuff I felt my tenuous membership to the group slipping away and I felt like I was drifting away on an ice floe again.  And the awareness came over me that I was thinking about whom I should be in order to be a member of a group rather than honouring who I am.  When I realized this I stopped myself, but I still feel it a little.  I’ve invested so many years being myself, being invisible, being ‘Me’, being apart from everyone else, on the edge of the crowd, but I’m not entirely comfortable there anymore.  What do you do when your position is across the table from those who are sitting across the table from the crowd?  Do you choose another table, or do you get up and leave the room?  Maybe you choose a round table and then it doesn’t matter.

Actually, that brought up two thoughts.  One is that a lone wolf is often one who leaves the group to form his own pack.  The second thought was a memory from my first elder’s conference.  At lunchtime I found a big round table by the window that was empty and sat there.  Thus ensconced, I invited others to come and join me, and they did.  Pretty soon the table was full.  The question to keep in mind is whether I’m being different from others or just being me.

As I was walking down 33 from the library I thought, “How would I describe myself?”  I used to be a manager, a biologist, a technician, but none of those fit.  And the answer that came to me was, “I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being.  And I know it!”  I also thought back to when I was working with kids, and I felt that I had to know what they’d been through so I could identify with them.  I brought myself down to their level.  But mostly I wanted them to know there was a way out of that dark tunnel, that they’d round a corner and feel a breeze or see even a small light.  And they did.  But I stayed in the tunnel looking for the next one to come along.  It’s like volunteering for the Metres for Millions walk, standing in one place and encouraging everyone as they walked by… “Only a little further; you’re almost there.”  But it’s time to let someone else do that job and move inside where I can say, “Welcome.  You’ve arrived.”

The best way to show others what’s possible for them is to develop what’s possible for myself.

“That inner psychological universe is a psychic gestalt, propelled, formed, sustained or driven by value fulfillment, love and desire, by the loving values that have no limit. The universe does not give up on itself, or on any of its creatures. It is ruled by a different set of principles, a different set of values, and by inner cooperative exuberance.” ~ Dreams, “Evolution”, and Value Fulfillment, Vol. 2, Session 941.

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November 16, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, the more I think about this the more I like it.  I came to me this morning that if I am in fear then I give those around me the opportunity to add their own fears to it, but by setting the tone of knowing that all is well, then I send that out and give others the opportunity to know that all is well also.  Rather than seeing my fears reflected in the faces of others, I can be like Jesus on the fishing boat during the storm, calming the waves.

I’m also more open to considering the possibility that no one or maybe a few others have walked this path, but that doesn’t mean I’m alone in this.  I am individual, but I am also All That Is.  All that I am is Source expressing itself as me.

“You do not need to die to achieve spiritual rebirth. Again, I am looking nowhere in particular. You need not suffer to attain knowledge…. The Crucifixion story represented, in your terms, now, the self-destructive aspect of the species at the time. And it represents the self-destructive elements of the species in this time for those who still accept it.”

“Many religions set up their methods and their dogmas, offering the hope of great knowledge, great understanding, and wisdom. There is only one catch: You have to die first! … Some of the basic tenets of Christianity were very good, but for all of that, you still have the story that when you suffer and die you will go to heaven, gain knowledge and beauty and truth, and escape this ‘vale of tears.’”

Again, with a kind of broad, kindly humor: “Think what might have happened, and think of how your religious books might read, if the myth read differently. Supposing the story read thusly: Christ was not crucified at all. He was not persecuted. He was not chased. He was not scourged, and no one gave him vinegar to drink instead, they handed him purple robes, set him up in state at Rome, called him Christ, the Son of God, but said that the kingdom of God is upon the earth, and salvation is now. What would the priests do? For, indeed, knowledge and joy and salvation would be within your grasp. Many religions believe that you must go through trials or walk through fire first. But Christianity believes that you must die first. Now, in your terms, that is certainly the most severe trial of all. And a poor way to prove faith. For if you believe in life, you prove your faith by living it. You dare love it. You do not need suffering or trials….” ~ Seth in The God of Jane, p. 203-204.

November 18, 2008
Hello, Michael:

A very special day:

Nov 18, 2008
The world’s most famous mouse is celebrating a milestone birthday.Mickey mouse is 80 on Tuesday November 18.The character was created by animator Walt Disney, with Mickey making his debut in 1928 in a film called Steamboat Willie .In the 80 years since then Mickey Mouse has appeared in over 100 short cartoons, often accompanied by his girlfriend Minnie Mouse.
Mickey was born in Walt Disney’s imagination during a train trip from New York to Los Angeles. But he named the mouse Mortimer until his wife suggested Mickey was better.

It’s also our 14^th Anniversary of being a couple!  168 months… amazing!!

A very bizarre day. First of all, I received a cheque from our ex landlord yesterday for the damage deposit for our place. Someone addressed the envelope, added a stamp, and then hand-delivered the envelope. I was going to deposit the cheque today but I realized this morning that the cheque hadn’t been signed.  I called J. only to discover that she’s in Penticton, so I called her on the cell phone.  She wanted me to bring the cheque in to sign, but I explained I was in Rutland.  Then she went on about one of the brothers living in Kelowna but that he was in a meeting and could probably call me back before 4:00…  About 10 minutes after that, our landlord called.  He had to call twice because he’s not very good with directions, but he arrived, signed the cheque, and I shook his hand.  That’s finally done.

From there I went over to Orchard Park, and went to Chapters/ Starbucks.  I didn’t bring my book to write in, but I did pick up a copy of Timber Home Living (with 2009 calendar insert) and had a coffee and a lemon poppy seed swirl loaf to celebrate my good fortune.  First Terasen tells us they owe us money, then M/C and BMO both have more money available than I remember…  I feel a Seth quote coming on:

“…you all dwell in the same unlimited dimension. …you simply have not opened your eyes to see it. You think that you are blind and so you do not see. The universe in which I [Seth] dwell is the universe in which all of you dwell. Some of you have better eyesight than others and the vision is not physical. … You have done well with theories; now I tell you to forget them. Forget the self that has the theories … and begin to experience. To do this, follow the directions that I have given, but also get in the habit of looking about you morning, noon and night. …and realizing that there is more within every environment than each small room that you see.

“Realize that there are personalities that you cannot see physically, yet they are there. And look positively for them. Realize that there are voices you cannot hear with your physical ears, and listen for them inwardly.

“… The trick is not to too hard to realize: that the answers are available; that they are there; that you can find them.” ~ The Early Sessions, Book 9, Session 483.

I hung around Chapters for a while, reading the first few chapters of ‘Don’t Hex With Texas’.  By that time I figured I’d best get home by bus because I had to make supper.  As I was walking by the Bay I saw the buses go by and figured that I’d be taking the 97 because it runs every 15 minutes at that hour and the 10/11 only run every 30 minutes.  However, as I was standing there waiting for the 97, an 11 bus pulled up – double decker, with nobody up top!  I got the front seat on the right upstairs – my favourite.  Since the bus goes around Merrifield to McCurdy I thought maybe I’d ride it around and back south down Rutland, but all of a sudden I got an impulse to ring the bell.  The bus stopped at Mugford and Merrifield, and just as I was getting off a kid came flying around the corner to catch the bus.  If I hadn’t pressed the bell the bus wouldn’t have stopped there and the kid would have missed his bus.  But I did and he didn’t.  I also have a recognition that this isn’t something that can be pushed, pulled, or stretched, as there is nothing outside of it.  This process, this Way of Being IS All That Is.

Here’s an Abraham quote to go with that Seth one:

“What we feel from most physical beings who are using the word “want” is a yearning, a desire that is currently unfulfilled. When we use the word “want” we mean it as an object of attention to which I want to focus, a desire that I give my undivided, undiluted, not contradicted attention to, so that the Energy that creates worlds can flow through me toward that desire.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

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November 20, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, it’s Thursday and especially the Thursday where N. is giving his talk at the Bohemian.  I read an Abraham quote recently on wanting, and it’s a perspective I really like because they talk about wanting, rather than being a sense of emptiness or unfulfillment, but as a sense of dedicating myself to my desire.  By wanting something, I’m opening myself up to it fully, allowing Source to flow through me and literally aligning every molecule, every moment toward fulfillment of that desire.  I’ve had several magical events recently and they’ve been nudging me toward greater acceptance of magical moments, and, even further, to allowing and accepting that I can rely on this process.  I can depend on the idea that spontaneous actualization of my desires will flow into a pattern that makes every moment magical.  Being in the flow means being a part of the stream in every moment.  I also have the choice to beach my boat and walk the shore, but the river is always flowing.  The river is in me; the river is me.

With all that’s been happening recently I’ve also shifted the intention of my desire, at least slightly.  The things I desire are still there, but the basis for my life is love.  I love me – all aspects of my Self, even the lumpy bits.  It doesn’t mean I’m immune to emotion, even anger, but I can allow myself some negative emotion – without judgment.  That’s a big difference.

“You are in physical existence to learn and understand that your energy, translated into feelings, thoughts and emotions, causes allThere are no exceptions. Once you understand this you have only to learn to examine the nature of your beliefs, for these will automatically cause you to feel and think in certain fashions. Your emotions follow your beliefs. It is not the other way around.” ~ Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality, session 614.

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November 21, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Well, T.G.I.F. to me!!  I’m at Picasso’s as I write this.

Actually, as I was writing that I had a flash of two different shapes.  One was a long cylinder and the other was a wedge.  Different symbols representing two different perspectives.  The cylinder is open-ended, potentially going on forever, and sometimes being in Kelowna feels like that – as if there’s no end to it.  I remember when I was landing the twotter with A., how it felt like I was going to simply float along parallel to the ground… I almost had to push the stick through the dashboard to get it down.

The wedge is a very different symbol, representing an intersection or a collapsing envelope of time.  In thinking about it I think an hourglass timer would be better.  Think about it – the hourglass counts down even when there’s nobody to see it.  Still, the wedge is perhaps better here because the borders aren’t parallel as in the cylinder, but angled.  That they will meet is inevitable.  The reason the distinction is important because I’ve been living as if my life is the cylinder, open-ended, potentially never changing, but that’s a choice.  The wedge, the hourglass, is also a choice but with a much different intention.  The wedge says, “I know this is happening, even if I see no evidence of it.”  An hourglass in a box still runs down.  I am achieving my desires.  All of this is true because I’ve dared to imagine it.  And daring to imagine is something to be proud of – something to congratulate myself on.  People who are afraid to dream try to hold back those who do, but people who dream get us to fly.

Something else that came to me is that everyone imagines their reality whether they realize it or not.  Most people limit their imaginations to a world where they imagine they have limits on their dreams… and it just occurred to me that I’ve been imagining a world where changes are coming, slowly, but where I have to deal with what I have now while the changes are being made.  Looking at it from that perspective, from the power of choice, I’m still making things too complicated.  Relax, let go, and let Spirit carry me.

A thought just popped into my head that I’ve gone from imagining what I don’t want and living what I do want, to imagining what I do want and living what I don’t want.  Hmmm…

Funny, sitting here, writing, and I see myself sitting here with my laptop, typing instead.  That’s a great thought.

Love,
Me.
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November 22, 2008
Hello, Michael:

Two things: One, I was thinking about some things last night and it came to me that I haven’t let myself believe in the power of my intentions.  Simple as that.  Because if I did I would be expecting great changes in my life – great changes, great gifts, but based on what I see around me, I don’t.  Now, where I am within myself right now this is not a problem because I have no need to berate myself over this.  Quite the contrary, actually.  I’m glad to have this awareness because it means I have a new place in which to stand, a new place of allowing.  So this is a good thing because I can let go of the mental entanglements, love myself more and simply relax, let go and let Spirit carry me.  I’ve been willing to allow small gifts, minor changes in my life, and that’s okay because in my own history I once would not have allowed even that.  So I’m well pleased with myself, pleased with my new allowing what I have so far and pleased with my new awareness.

The second item relates to judgment, specifically self-judgment.  I look at the dynamics of my being here in Kelowna and I’m recognizing how much I’ve been expecting to be judged and found wanting, but more importantly I also see that I don’t need anyone else to do it.  I’m quite capable of doing it myself.  The voice in my head isn’t coming from anyone else, it’s coming from me.

Okay, it’s 1:06 and I’m going to close out, but I have one final note before I turn in.  I’ll write ‘The Neck of the Giraffe’, and that should make sense to me a year from now.  I was reading something today and they were describing the scientific method as one whereby one continually make small steps, small shifts, small progress.  That got me thinking about manifestations of course, but it also got me thinking about Darwin’s Theory of Evolution – the idea that small advantages built up over time to create new species.  In the book ‘The Neck of the Giraffe’, the author talks about this idea and goes on to say that the fossil record doesn’t support this.  What we do see are periods of little change followed by big shifts.  And I like that idea, because it’s as if I’ve been applying the scientific method to my learning and to my creations.  Small shifts, small changes, inching forward.  But in the process I’ve been denying the Universe the opportunity to make BIG leaps for me, on my behalf.  Hmmm…

Love,
Me.

“The old beliefs, of course, and the rational approach, are everywhere reinforced, and so it does indeed have a great weight. The magical approach has far greater weight, if you use it and allow yourselves to operate in that fashion, for it has the weight of your basic natural orientation.” ~ Seth, The Magical Approach, session one.

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November 23, 2008
Hello, Michael:

An Abraham quote to start:

“I see myself in perfect health. I see myself in absolute prosperity. I see myself invigorated with life, appreciating, again, this physical life experience which I wanted so very much as I decided to be a physical Being. It is glorious to be here, a physical Being, making decisions with my physical brain but accessing the power of the Universe through the power of the Law of Attraction.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Well, I’m at Starbucks once again. I picked up ‘This Thing Called You’ today for the first time since I’ve been here, and of course the section where I opened it was perfect.  I’ll have to add it into my notes, but basically it said that God doesn’t have problems, just answers, and so when I perceive that I have a problem I should simply consider it a question and know that the answer has already been found.  It reminds me of that section of the CC writings where it says that in every moment where I accept that my desire has already been achieved I’m moving toward it, and in moments where I doubt it, I slow my progress.  So crank it up!

A couple more thoughts…  One, there are very few Seth quotes that bother me, but there are a couple.  That got me thinking, though, that if Seth were here with me and I told him that I was using his words as a way to limit myself, he’d tell me to forget everything he said.  Actually, he already said as much when it said it was clear they weren’t creating a new dogma, and when he said not to put the words of gurus, teachers, or his words above my own divine connection.  So I’m left without excuses there!

As I was walking down to the store I saw someone changing the windshield wipers on his car, and that brought forth some more beliefs I’ve had about wealth.  The people I used to know would make fun of someone who paid someone else to change their windshield wipers or change their flat tire, for example.  In the past I’ve done so myself.  But just today I saw these sorts of comments as resistance.  Yes, well hidden behind masks of bravado or masculinity or whatever, but resistance nonetheless.  A really strong man, wealthy or not, is one who is kind, gentle, caring, giving, offers support, encouragement, etc.  One who doesn’t judge anyone, not even himself.  And it brings back to me again that wealth is a part of who I am, but it’s no longer my greatest desire.  My greatest desire is to be whole, open, loving, and to live in that world.  My greatest desire is to be an expression of Source, to live in a world where great gifts are given and received.  That’s my focus.

The next thought I had is when I think back a few years I was gravely concerned that my inner self or some other aspect of my being was in control of my life, leaving ‘Me’ as a puppet subject to the will of my greater self.  As I navigate through these understandings, however, I find over and over again that there is a gentle hand at my back but I have been shown only massive amounts of love, support and gentle guidance… an infinity of patience.

One more thing that came to me today is that I often think of my younger self and clearing a path that will make things easier for the younger ‘Me’.  At the same time I want to connect more to my older self for guidance and to give thanks.  Actually, as I wrote that I realized that was too linear.  Let me change that to connecting and sharing with all of me so that together we can all learn and grow.  Something that came to mind as I was typing this section was something I’ve never considered before.  It uses a linear analogy, but let’s say that time is like a trail along which I walk.  But since there’s more than one ‘Me’, there are aspects of my being – a future self so to speak, just as there are those aspects of my being that constitute my younger self.  And let’s say that as I walk this trail of life I make discoveries, develop new insights and new understandings, and that these insights are marked on the trail as I pass them so that when some other version of ‘Me’ passes this point, the insights and ideas are available.  It’s like leaving a bundle along the trail for someone else to find.  Of course things aren’t linear and so it’s not like that at all, and even if it was it’s not that my future self has figured everything out ahead of ‘Me’.  I add my own insights and ideas to the mix.  So maybe rather than being deposited in ‘time’, they’re left at certain levels of actualization, to be discovered when I’m able to handle them.  I must admit that the self I was a few years ago would have a hard time taking on all that I’ve discovered, all at once.  Hmmm…

I was writing about judgment today, and in thinking about judgment it occurred to me that all so-called negative beliefs are judgments of the self.  That’s a perspective I hadn’t considered before.  Furthermore, all judgment is self-judgment.  If I judge others, I am in effect looking at myself.  If someone judges me, it’s because my vibration or alignment or whatever gives him or her permission to do so.  I’m going to have to play with this some more, but I like it because it changes how I look at limiting or negative beliefs.

Last Thursday I was down at the Bohemian for the Express Series lecture – this one was on local artists, and they had tables of their wares set up in front.  After the talks and when everyone was packing up and leaving, one of the vendors made a comment about my full beard and my long hair.  She asked me how long it’s been since I cut it.  I told her quite honestly that I don’t remember the last time it was trimmed, but it got me thinking afterward.  One thing I can say is that the last time I had short (shoulder-length) hair was in 1978 – 30 years ago.  That means I haven’t had a haircut in J.’s lifetime.

Something that came to me last night was that although I still think back to when I was a child, and have used those experiences from my childhood in defining who I am today, I have to remember that I’m no longer that child.  I’m not new to this world, nor am I powerless to change my world. I am a fully aware, strong, powerful, multidimensional spiritual being.  I am so powerful I am a co-creator with All That Is, using all of my Self to create all that I Am.  It’s important to remember that.

Something else that came to me today was, in Abraham terms, “The answer from the Universe is always Yes!” Given that as a basis, who am I to say ‘no’ to my own requests of my self?  Actually, connected to that was a memory from when I was younger, and because of money issues combined with pride, I wouldn’t allow anyone else to provide for me things that I couldn’t get for myself.  If someone bought me a glass of pop in a restaurant I’d refuse to drink it because I couldn’t afford it.  Makes me wonder how much I’m still playing that same old game with myself.  Except I shoot myself in the foot over this one because it’s all of Me providing for all of Me.  There is no ‘somebody else’ here. Still, I’m going to have to give it some more thought because my conscious mind/ ego is like the younger me, and the aspects of my Being who are responsible for reality creation are like the others I knew when I was young.  For how long have I been denying my Self the opportunity to change my life because I’ve wanted to do it “myself”?  Hmmm…

And finally, I was thinking on my way back here from the store that in my memories of Lumeria, using the example I’ve often used before, if someone wanted a hammer they would simply imagine one and it would appear.  That sounds simple enough, but it’s important for me to note that if they imagined a hammer, a hammer appeared.  It wasn’t a case of someone imagining a hammer and being provided with a chunk of tree branch and a pile of iron ore from which to make a hammer…

Okay, I’m going to close out, but before I do I want to leave myself with this Seth quote.  Came across it again today, and I think the last four sentences are really important (emphasis mine):

“Cherish the gifts of the gods. Don’t be so anxious to throw your individuality back into their faces, saying, ‘I’m sick to death of myself and of my individuality; it burdens me.’ Even one squirrel’s consciousness, suddenly thrown into the body of another of its kind, would feel a sense of loss, encounter a strangeness, and know in the sacredness of its being that something was wrong. Wear your individuality proudly. It is the badge of your godhood. You are a god living a life – being, desiring, creating. Through honoring yourself, you honor whatever it is God is, and become a conscious co-creator.” ~ The “Unknown” Reality, Vol. 2, April 15.

Love,
Me.
_____